A KHR FanFiction by LouiseRisa
More than That
Summary: It's the holidays, and there's only one person's touch that I'm yearning for. Too bad he's never here; not even on this stupid celebration. After all, why would he; when there's a world of warmth unlike my chilly companionship. So always, I'll be here, waiting; even after all these years… for his return. Two-shot. Reborn x You. First person POV. Reader's insert.
A/N: Based on the idea that we only receive the love that we think we deserve, plus the song Fool's Holiday by All Time Low that keeps playing over and over again even when my playlist is on random. Oh, and the Arcobaleno curse did not happen. Or if you want it to happen, just imagine that it was lifted and 'I' didn't get to see Reborn in person in all those years. Important note at the end..?
EDIT (13th June 2014): Minor grammar changes (PM or review if I missed out any), paragraphing, deleting the 'thoughs' that were most probably misused by me due to influences by a certain friend and realizing that maybe I should've put Oh Calamity by All Time Low (also) instead; but then again, the plot would be a little different… perhaps in another fic then. Oh, and Happy Friday 13th. Full moon too.
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"For years and years I pushed you aside
But never again;
Wrap me up like a present and put me away,
And when it gets cold I'll be yours;
Let the bells ring on a fool's holiday
I swear that I'm more than just broken promises;
Decorations can change like tinsels and ribbons so
Do not open 'til you've got forever to spend
With me on a fool's holiday"
All Time Low – Fool's Holiday
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Our love – if that is what it is – is like a candle, you can say. Small… flickering… unstable. A far cry from what I had imagined love would be as a child.
It is never strong… unwavering, if those are the words. He was – still is – always looking at other women even when we're together. Not that I'll ever blame the man; who would want such woman as I? Pitiful… pathetic… naïve.
His name is Reborn; the world's strongest assassin, he'd tell you as he introduces himself – inserting it into every single sentence he possibly could, even. Yet, behind that he's still a man searching for intangible things as you and I; a man searching for love and purpose.
The way we met was a huge coincidence that was the downfall of my Family.
He was there during our annual Christmas Ball dressed in that impeccable suit of his, eyes glancing all around the place warily just as I descended the stairs with my arms looped around my brother's in my favorite soft yellow ball gown with a fedora hiding the intricate patterns the maids had woven in my hair. We had sort of a conversation as the night got older, exchanging gifts where I had given him my favorite fedora, and maybe just a dance or two until he locked me up in one of the drawing rooms until the last of the screams stopped. And then I was out.
When I awoke the next morn in a room unknown, I'm the last member and heiress to the Cigno Nero Famiglia; the sole survivor of the mass murder unleashed by the Sun Arcobaleno; the only person to be said had captured the same man's heart… yet I doubt it.
He spared me; yes. The reason is never explained; not that I feel that he owed me any considering my life is his the moment he declared I'm under his protection against the other Famiglia that hired him to kill my whole Family. I couldn't even resent the man, if only because he had taken my breath away.
I was his first and only failed mission though; it was the reason why he had found me on several occasions trying to end my life – I was a taint to his reputation.
I remember him insisting that he was a killer, not a protector when the old head of Cavallo asked him to teach his young son the ropes of the Mafia right before he passed; ironic considering how he had been protecting me for two years already at the time. Not that the old Cavallo would know that since Reborn made it clear that my old identity is to be buried along with my Family. I had been living in one of Reborn's apartments in Sicily, close to the Vongola headquarters and away from where my home was in Verona.
He left me for a year after that; and I couldn't even resent him when he took Bianchi as his lover during that time. A man has his needs after all; and how was I to compare to the Poison Scorpion's beauty? Especially not after his relation to her became the gossip of the Mafia just as his work became even more high profile than before.
He did check in on me time to time again; whether to make sure if I was still alive or to assure me he was instead, I have no answer to. It doesn't mean I'd stop looking forward to the few and far in between visits. Maybe I'm a fool like that, waiting for the murderer of my Family to come back to me despite everything.
It wasn't long until rumors of his breakup with the Poison Scorpion reached my ears that I held hope that he'd be back. But alas, before he was even back to the quaint little area where our apartment – as I've taken to call it – is, he was pulled aside by the Vongola Nono to train the young Decimo.
Oh the sweet brunette – bless his kind heart – had somehow found out about who I was a few days before his accession to his position as the Decimo of possibly the largest Mafia Famiglia there ever is, and had extended an invitation to me – not as a plus one to my self-acclaimed protector – but as the last heiress of the Cigno Nero.
I had declined of course; not wanting Reborn's work to conceal me over the years to go to waste even though the young lad's expression seemed to sadden after hearing my reasons.
That was exactly three years ago, on the young Decimo's 17th birthday.
Unwittingly my identity was exposed to Vongola's closest allies in the short span of time, yet I had never found myself in merrier content as they invite me to private events in all those years. Sometimes, the lad even lets Reborn off of a mission to be a part of the celebration and I'd find us acting just as the night of our first meeting again; laughing, talking, dancing… acting as the teens that we once were, where the world fades away and we were alone.
Except that deep down I know each and every time we get to be close, we'd get even further apart. And as though every separation after does not set me back into the depression I've been spiraling into, I'd gaze at his obsidian eyes and remember all the curves and contours of his face and body that would fill my mind until we next meet.
His visits become even fewer and further in between in those years; especially since I refused the Vongola Decimo's offer for a place in his mansion a month after what I can only say as his coronation. And if there were yearning in his dark and tired eyes just as mine were, I did not notice. After all, why burden them with a measly existence as mine?
Yet I find myself waiting, until this day, where I'm steadily reaching my thirties. Gone were the days where my beauty and youth drawing men in like moths to a flame, I find myself resigning to the fact that my heart is bound to a man who I wish not to be tied to someone like me?
It's cold days like these that I'd wonder if he's warm beside another woman's body, or out in battle somewhere glancing at the blood around him nonchalantly even though I know how much he finds them sickly to look at.
Waiting for him seems like waiting for a miracle to happen; but I continue to do so anyways. If only for him to at least to have a home to come back to; while knowing that the Vongola Mansion would be more of a home to him that this apartment that had been under my care all these years.
But if that's the way it's meant to be, I'll gladly wait until the time when – dare I say – my Reborn to come home to me.
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A/N: I recommend you guys to wait with a hell lot of patience for the next chapter. This little piece is being written on a whim here, and honestly, I miss writing. But alas! Life as a med school student is tiring. Sides, I need you guys to vote on something anyway. So… In either the reviews or the voting section that I'll be putting up on my profile later, please vote on two things; whether you want this to be rated T or M, and which fic do you want me to try and update ASAP. Right… Thanks for reading, being patient with me, and for not tracking me down to the ends of earth.
Cigno Nero: Black Swan