A/N: This is my first time submitting a multi-chaptered fic so I am extremely nervous, anyway this contains Style, Bunny, Creek, Tyde(for comic relief) and if I am not lazy; Cartman x Wendy or Candy for short. Some of the writing in the further chapters might get a little offensive so please take warning.

This might be kind of Crack-ish I guess...although this kind of has a plot.

It was late morning and Mr. Garrison has yet to arrive, not like anyone wants him to arrive. The eleventh grade students of South Park were pretty bored of Mr. Garrison as he had taught them since third grade and they never really learned anything from him other than his fickle views and opinions.

The class was lively yet relaxed at the same time, everyone was either asleep, talking with friends or playing with their phones, Cartman was the only exception but that's just because he was eating cheesy poofs.

Nothing much has changed since their childhood, their attitude and mannerisms were still very much the same. Well except for the fact that all of them had gone through puberty and some developed new habits such as smoking and drinking.

Seated near the last row was Stan Marsh, who had a bored expression on his face, he was tapping his fingers in a nonsensical rhythm against the table while watching Kyle who had now began to argue with Cartman who had a bunch of orange crumbs on the side of his lips.

Honestly Stan didn't really care about what the two were arguing about but he can't help but stare at his best friend as he shot words after words of hate, It had turned into a hobby for him to stare at Kyle, Everything about Kyle intrigued him, the way he speaks, the way he wears his hat, the way he looks up when you call him…Every time he looks at him, Stan gets lost in a sea of thought. Stan refused to admit his borderline obsession for Kyle and instead refers to it as fascination.

"Dude, what are you staring at?" Kenny spoke up.

The orange clad boy had gently poked Stan at the back of his head with a pencil. Stan who was still staring at the redhead came back to his senses and looked at him.

"Nothing" Stan answered promptly.

Kenny raised an eyebrow at his response then smiled, nodding his head as if he suddenly understood something then he gently pat the back of Stan's back. "It's okay don't worry…I know about it, no need to hide."

"What do you mean?" Stan asked, he had no idea what the hell Kenny was talking about, he might have been high from cheesing, then again Kenny quit Cheesing didn't he?

"Are you sure you want to talk about it here where everyone can hear it? You've got balls Stan…I admire that." Kenny smirked.

"Kenny, I really have no idea what the hell you're talking about, I mean you could be high for all I know and yet I am still talking to you hoping you would make sense."

Before Kenny could answer back Mr. Garrison arrived holding two boxes on top of each other.

"I am sorry if I am late class, I picked up a few things needed for a new project, anyway I want you guys to pair up into twos, anyone will do as long as you're both the same gender."

The class just shrugged and paired each other up, then sat with the person they paired up with. Mr. Garrison smiled at the pairs, the plan he was brewing in his head is going to be foolproof.

"Alright our lesson for the week is parenting; we're going to be taking care of…"

"Mr. Garrison didn't we already had a similar lesson when we were fourth grade? You asked us to take care of eggs remember? And I…"

"Boo, Booooo Wendy, Boooo" Cartman interrupted.

"Oh please, not aga..."

"Boooo Wendy Testaburger, Boooo"

"Will you ever stop doing tha…"

"Boooo Wendy Booo"

"Mr. Garri …."

"Booooo"

Wendy sighed and sat down back to her chair, Oh how she wanted to beat up Cartman…again.

"Are you done?" Mr. Garrison asked unimpressed, these two had been doing this every day for seven years and it really is getting old.

Wendy Hhmphed in response while Cartman just nodded innocently.

"As I was saying…The lesson for the week is parenting, you fuckers are going to take care of flour sacks except that this flour sack doesn't really contain flour it instead contains something else which I will not tell what is, Of course you could always open your flour sack baby if you're really curious but doing so will get you an F. Remember your flour sack must be well taken care of if I ever see holes, cuts, and attempts of opening or if you lose the sack I will no doubt give you an F.

Token then raised his hand, and so Mr. Garrison allowed him to speak up. "So why did we pair up with the same sex? I thought we would be parenting?" he said.

"Well…that's because these flour sack babies are homo flour sack babies, so they belong to homo parents, Mr. Garrison shrugged.

"I thought you said you hated gay people?" Craig deadpanned.

"Yeah, So?" Mr. Garrison said, as he began to distribute the flour sacks to the pairs of students, It was a simple bag of flour...or rather what seems to be flour and was bleached white except for Token's which was a brown sack for some odd reason.

The class shrugged it off, they knew Mr. Garrison was fickle-minded, and besides there's no point in arguing with him.

"Like last time, these sacks have my signature on them so I would know if you ever try to replace it, Go ahead and decorate it however you want, name it, give it a penis I don't care…It's not like it will last-err uhh I mean...nevermind."

Mr. Garrison soon left the room leaving a bunch of confused 11th graders with sacks of flour or whatever it was as Mr. Garrison never really told them of its true contents.

Two blondes were sat close staring at a weird sack of unknown substance.

"So should our flour sack baby be a boy sack or a girl sack?" Butters asked Kenny, the two had paired up since Butters considers Kenny as his best friend and Kenny who had to pick between Cartman and him immediately chose Butters.

"Eggs, Sack…I bet next time we'll be asked to take care of nuts or balls." Kenny smirked.

"Oh gee, If it's nuts then I hope it's not almonds." Butters fussed.

"You didn't get my joke did you?" Kenny sighed.

"You were telling a joke? Well gee I-I am sorry Kenny, Anyway boy sack or girl sack?" Butters questioned once again.

"Girls don't have sacks, Butters…" Kenny teased.

"S-so it's a boy then?" Butters asked.

"Seriously?" Kenny sighed Butters was far more innocent than he thought but oh fucking well at least he didn't get partnered up with Cartman, no way in hell was he going to raise flour babies with him ugh.

"Sure Butters, It's a boy."

"Well a-alright then Kenny, What do you want to name him?"

Kenny closed his eyes for a few seconds,trying to think of a good name, he then suddenly opened his eyes as a thought came to him.

"Scrottie." Kenny smiled mischievously.

Clyde was busily drawing a face on his and Token's flour sack baby when he overheard something from the two blondes.

"Dude did you hear that? Kenny and Butters named their flour sack." Clyde said.

"So?" Token asked, he was cutting strings of black yarn which was supposed to be hair for the flour sack.

"We should name ours too!" Clyde grinned excitedly.

Token sighed. "Alright fine, what do you want to name him?"

"Him? No no no, she's obviously a girl! Look at her face it has eyelashes and stuff." Clyde objected.

Token stared at the poorly drawn face of the flour sack. He honestly couldn't decipher where its eyes, nose and mouth are. Clyde has horrible drawing skills, Token thought.

"Dude you suck at drawing…I couldn't tell what gender it is." Token said flatly.

"Oh like you're any better…" Clyde rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

"Yeah, yeah whatever...So anyway you were planning on naming it?" Token changed subjects, not wanting to hear Clyde's bitching.

"HER! And yes…I am thinking of naming her "Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way" Clyde answered.

"That name is way too fucking long and nonsensical, can't you give it a shorter name?"

"Fine… her name is Ebony."

"Ebony?" Token asked.

"Yes." Clyde said nodding his head.

"Ebony as in black?" Token asked once more.

"Yes." Clyde nodded again.

"I am so going to beat you up into a pulp."

Clyde tilted his head wondering what made Token so angry, he then realized and quickly defended himself. "Dude what the fuck no, It's not like that!"

"Alright, then explain the naming choice."

"I read a pretty awesome story last week and the main character there was named Ebony."*

"What kind of author uses ebony as a name?" Token asked, raising his eyebrow.

"You should read it dude!"

"Ugh, I'd rather not." Token replied.

Tweek nervously sipped coffee from his thermos as he avoided Craig's gaze, Craig had forced Tweek to pair up with him and it made the blonde feel uneasy, especially since Craig was staring at him like a predator watching his prey. He could feel Craig's eyes scanning over him. What was he thinking? Does he want to kill me? Sacrifice me to the underwear gnomes? These kind of thoughts kept popping up in Tweek's head.

"Oh Jesus, Craig."

"What." Craig answered in a deadpan voice in response.

"Gah! Can you please not stare at me?" Tweek pleaded.

Craig made an annoyed face then shifted his gaze at his and Tweek's flour sack instead.

Tweek twitched and followed Craig's gaze towards their flour sack, which in contrary to the others, had retained its original form. It didn't have any clothes or drawings; it looked just like a plain old sack of flour.

"A-aren't we going to decorate it?" Tweek questioned nervously.

"No."

"W-why?"

"It's plain and boring…just the way I like it." Craig answered.

"Oh uhh…" Tweek nervously shifted. "Can we a-at l-least name it? I heard everyone named theirs."

Craig looked at Tweek incredulously, then he looked at the sack. He nodded his head.

"Flour Sack." Craig said dully.

"Huh?" Tweek wondered.

"Its name is Flour Sack."

"Oh…" Tweek said, disappointedly. He didn't want to argue with Craig for the fear of getting killed. He wanted to decorate and name it but since Craig didn't allow him to he had no choice. Then again he wanted to name it "Venti" which Tweek then realized in hindsight was a stupid name for a flour sack.

Stan and Kyle had finally finished decorating their flour sack when Cartman went up to them.

"Would either one of you gentlemen fancy a trade?"

"What the fuck are on about. Fatass?" Kyle asked in an annoyed tone.

"I am offering a once in a lifetime trade, you won't regret it!" Cartman offered.

"What kind of trade?" Stan asked, feigning interest.

"Partners." Cartman smiled.

"No way, fatass…" Kyle immediately declined.

"Why do you want to trade partners? Who is it anyway?" Stan queried.

"The new kid... uh Douchebag"

"But isn't Douchebag from the game? He's not here you know." Stan asked.

"Alright fine, I fucking don't have any alright? Cartman admitted.

"Of course you don't have one, no one likes you..." Kyle snapped.

"Shut up, Jew." Cartman snapped back. "Besides I didn't want to partner up and raise a homo flour sack anyway...especially with YOU Kyle" He then walked away from Stan and Kyle and sat back at his table.

"Dude, Fatass is right…who wants to raise flour sacks?" Kyle said.

"I dunno, but if I don't wanna get an F." Stan replied.

"Yeah, I guess. Anyway I am so glad we finally finished decorating this thing." Kyle agreed.

"We should name it."

"I think I'm going to name it Gorak."Stan stated

"No, dude! We have to name it Steve." Kyle objected

Steve? What the hell kind of name is Steve? That's a stupid name." Stan said.

"Wait…doesn't this situation seem familiar?" Kyle said.

"Y-yeah." Stan nodded.

"You guys should just name it Larry!" Kenny said as he merrily skipped towards the two.

"Larry?" Stan questioned.

"That's kind of…uhh" Kyle muttered.

"I guess that name isn't so bad…" Stan nodded.

"Larry it is." Kyle said.

And thus a dispute between the two friends has been avoided. Stan and Kyle named their flour baby "Larry" and Kenny was happy that no quarrel occurred between the two, especially since he was planning on hooking Stan and Kyle up together, he hated the unresolved sexual tension happening around them, the project Mr. Garrison gave them was a perfect catalyst for his plan. He could see it now; soon those two will be all over each other.

"I am going to be such a good friend/wingman" Kenny thought to himself.

A/N: Thank you for reading.

*This is a reference to "My Immortal" The infamous Harry Potter fanfiction, Read it if you haven't read it before, It's rather hilarious.

Props to those who know what episode Stan and Kyle's floursack's name came from.