Blast From The Past
Note: Not much of an excuse for this. I fell out of bed…maybe it was brain damage? I don't own anything, either. Way to rub salt in the wound. This one is dedicated to my girl Fiona, the oh so wonderful SupernaturalSammy67 for listening to me bitch so about my recent hard drive crash.
Dean tumbled out of bed as he was yanked abruptly out of sleep by a pounding on the door, and was greeted freshly when he cracked his head against the bedside table.
"Son of a bitch…" Dean grumbled incoherently, as a sharp rapping on the door of their motel room, combined with a pounding headache woke him up a hell of a lot more abruptly than he wanted.
He glanced quickly at the bedside alarm, wishing whoever the hell it was a prime place in the deepest circle of hell. It was Five forty-one.
Friggin' hell, bitches were lucky that his damn gun was out of reach.
"Sam!" He reached over and gave his brother a shove. "Sam, get the damn door."
"Huh-what?" Sam apparently hadn't been aroused by the never-ending pounding.
Persistent bastards, Dean thought.
"Door!" Dean swore under his breath. Genius! "The thing with the knob and the annoying friggin' person behind it. You. Answer it!"
Sam replied something that sounded distinctly like 'Up yours' but Dean let it go this time, and headed for the bathroom
"Door!" Dean hollered again, reaching for the first thing he found-a toothbrush, and flung it in his brother's direction. Damn, he hoped that was Sam's, these floors were pretty nasty, even by their standards.
--
"Jerk." Sam grumbled, checking to make sure that he had pants on before getting the door. He hoped it was someone coming to arrest his brother. That would be his just desserts.
He tugged the door open crankily, and was surprised to be verbally accosted.
"Sam Winchester, you-where is Dean? Oh, forget it, I can already hear that fool in the back."
Oh god, Sam gulped as Missouri Mosley--Missouri--pushed her way past him and headed for his brother. What the hell?
"And close the door!" Missouri hollered back, mumbling her breath about the idiot Winchester boys. "Put on a shirt while you're at it…a bunch of exhibitionists!"
Sam considered hoping she was here to personally kick Dean's ass for something he had thought about doing, but felt it was better to keep his karma clean. He sure as hell didn't want her to turn on him. She was sort of scary.
--
Oh god.
Oh…God!
Dan thought about locking the bathroom door and hiding until she went away. Childish? Yes, but absolutely worth it. If Missouri was standing in his motel room hollering away, it wasn't a social call.
"Boy, you bring that ass out of the bathroom…" Missouri poked her head in before she finished. "Now!"
She went wide-eyed for a moment as she saw how scantily clad he was in a pair of boxers. Maybe she'd been too hard on the younger Winchester.
"Dressed!" She hissed, slamming the bathroom door shut.
Shit, Dean thought, he was in trouble. They? He? Whatever it was they were-
"You have no idea!" Missouri hollered, "Stop thinking and start dressing, it shouldn't be too hard for you, boy."
Dean decided to keep to his old plan of when he was near the old bat.
"I heard that!"
Yeah, try not to think. At all. Where the hell was Cas when he could use some uh…divine intervention. Or divine protection.
--
"Um…Missouri, couldn't this have waited?" Sam ventured carefully. "Its early, and-"
"Sam Winchester, don't act like a fool." Missouri retorted.
"Why not, he does it so well." Dean snorted.
"I wouldn't be so fast to talk if I were you." She informed Dean sharply. "By the way, thanks for keeping me in the loop."
Dean and Sam winced in unison. Right, they'd forgotten about that.
"And lay off the liquor." Missouri glared at Dean again. "You smell like an eight dollar hooker."
Dean crinkled his nose in disagreement. No, he didn't. Besides he didn't…smell.
"Don't argue." Missouri said, "Don't you think for one second that just because you've gone to hell and back I'll hesitate to beat you."
Dean had a distinct memory of a wooden spoon that served as great inspiration to keep his mouth shut.
He still didn't know why they were in trouble though.
"And you," She turned on Sam, "I don't even know where to start."
"I-what'd I do?" Sam said defensively.
Missouri laughed. "Oh that's funny, you're picking up on your brother's sense of humor, are you? That's just…"
She shook her head. "You both need beatings and severe psychiatric care."
"Ruby." Missouri held up a finger, ticking it off as she went along. "Boy, you know that's the type of idiocy I expect from your brother."
"Hey!" Dean objected, "I never-"
"Do you want to test me?" Missouri asked him.
Dean gulped. "No. No, thank you."
"And you-I know you don't think that you're innocent." Missouri told him. "Anything to say for yourself."
"I made a mistake." Sam offered. "I didn't mean it."
Missouri sighed and rolled her eyes. "I wasn't talking to you. Good god, is that what a Stanford education buys these days?"
She zeroed in on Dean. "Anything?"
Dean shook his head. "I didn't…do anything?"
"You mean apart for sleeping with an angel, and-Sam Winchester, you get your mind out of the gutter!"
"What? I-I uh…" Sam blushed furiously. "I didn't-"
"I'm not talking about your new winged pal, Castiel. The cute redhead."
Sam swung around to look at Dean. "You slept with Anna?"
"Sort of pals in comparison to all the demon sex you had." Dean retorted.
"Oh, shut it." Missouri sighed. "You boys act more and more stupid every year, I swear…"
"Wait, so you got on a plane to chew us out before daylight for a little self-gratuitous sex?" Dean asked confused.
Missouri raised an eyebrow at him. "Where's the angel?"
"Uh, oh…" Dean shrugged, "I haven't seen Anna since-"
"If it would make a difference, I'd beat the idiocy out of you personally." Missouri said. "Castiel, the winged wonder that was either stupid enough or unlucky enough to get landed with you."
"Um…Missouri?" Sam cringed to speak up, still feeling the sting of reminder over Ruby. "We can't exactly…control…him."
"Do I look slow to you?"
Sam shook his head. "No. Um, no of course not."
She turned back to Dean. "Call him." She sighed exasperatedly when he didn't move. "Now."
Dean looked perplexed as he pulled out his cell phone, "How do you…know?"
"Well, she is a psychic." Sam remarked off handedly, "That might have something to do with it."
"Or because I did my homework before I got on a plane and came here." She wrinkled nose as she looked around the room. "Do your laundry, both of you, that's just disgusting."
Dean took offense as she looked toward his duffle. "Its not laundry month."
Missouri glared at him, and Dean shut up and called Cas.
"Hey, don't look at me." Sam held up his hands in defeat. "I do my laundry regularly. Unlike Mr. Every Other Month."
"You changed you hair." Missouri remarked.
Sam nodded his head. "A little."
"I liked it better before." She said unapologetically.
"And you tell him that he best not-"
"Yes?" Castiel said, appearing behind Dean and Sam, cell phone in hand.
"The voice says I'm out of minutes again." Castiel handed it to Sam. "You're good with these electronically devices, get rid of the voice."
"Another genius." Missouri rolled her eyes, "Naturally."
"Who is she?" Castiel asked Dean.
"Satan." Dean remarked.
Castiel's eyebrow's furrowed together.
"No, she is not Lucifer."
"He's being sarcastic." Sam informed Castiel, "This is Missouri and-"
"Get out." Missouri gestured to Sam and Dean.
"Huh?" They uttered in unison.
"And don't you think you're going anywhere." Missouri looked pointedly at Castiel. "Now." She told Sam and Dean.
"But-" Sam began,
"This is our motel room!" Dean objected.
"You can keep it." Missouri replied, "Ugh."
"Dean, I think we should go." Sam hiss-whispered to his brother.
Besides, Castiel would be fine. He was an angel, Missouri couldn't hurt him. He could certainly hold his own.
"Um, yeah, right." Dean hopped up. "I could use a drink anyways."
He shot Castiel a grin. "Her bark is worse than her bite." He shot Sam a look, "Did I get that right?"
"Shut up."
"He's smarter." Missouri remarked casually to Castiel. "Dean Winchester, you better not come back here smelling like some cheap booze!"
"He enjoys liquor." Castiel said matter of factly. "You can't stop him."
"You want to make a bet on that? Don't you think that boy will even try me." She narrowed he eyes at him. "And I recommend you don't try it either."
Castiel reminded himself that he was an angel and that she was a harmless human. He was not afraid of her.
"You sure about that? Because I can make you plenty afraid of me." She closed some of the distance between herself and Castiel. "You know why I'm here?"
He shook his head. "I'm afraid…not."
Missouri nodded her head. "Fine then. I'll make this fast. You're working with those boys-"
"We're attempting to stop Lucifer, yes." Castiel interjected. "It's suicide."
"You're a perky one. And don't interrupt me." She took in what he said, and pursed her lips. "It damn well is not, and I assure you angel-"
"Castiel." He said, "I don't like to be called angel. Its generic."
"Oh," Missouri shook her head, "I'll beat you just the same as I will them, Castiel. And I'll make it hurt."
Castiel withdrew slightly. As far as any human he'd ever known went, she was frightening.
"Anything happens to those two, I'm holding you personally accountable and given-" She paused, as if daring him to interrupt.
He didn't.
"I don't know what kills an angel, but you do not want to test me."
No, Castiel determined, he'd really rather not.
--
Dean laughed at the bewildered look on Cas' face as Missouri left, muttering about needing to find a Days Inn.
"Dean, I don't think…" Sam looked Castiel over. "I don't know if he's okay."
"Cas?" Dean waved a hand in his face. "All there still?"
Sam passed Dean a beer, glad that Missouri hadn't spotted them. Knowing her she would have taken it and trashed it as punishment.
"It was frightening." Castiel blinked once, snaking the beer out of Dean's hand.
"Hey! What the hell?" Dean looked at him in shock.
Sam grabbed another beer, passing it to Dean. Wow, he wondered how many people could say they made an angel into an alcoholic just by sheer presence?
"I need a drink." Castiel said, "She was-don't ever leave me alone with that again."
Deans stifled a laugh. "You're afraid of Missouri?"
"So are you." Sam said.
"Absolutely. And for good reason." Dean replied, "She's downright terrifying."
"Yes. That." Castiel took a long gulp of beer. "It was awful. But I learned something."
"What?" Dean asked, "That alcohol soothes all?"
Castiel shook his head once.
"No, if I ever need something from you, I should just tell her to tell you to do it."
However, that involved talking to her, and he was far too terrified of her to contemplate that.
"Also," Castiel glanced toward Dean, "Anna has an odd sense of humor."
"Anna?" Sam and Dean said in unison.
"Oh yes," Castiel slugged down more of his beer in a move that shocked both Winchesters. "She's the only one who could have informed your friend as to where to find me…unless you told her."
Sam and Dean looked stunned.
"I though not." Castiel set the bottle down. "If you'll excuse me, I need to go and kill something…regain my dignity."
Dean snorted as Castiel disappeared. "Think he knows its gone?"
"Long gone." Sam agreed, clinking beers with Dean.
--