Title: Worn Thin
Pairing: Remus/Tonks
Rating: PG13/T
Period: DH, epilogue compliant
Summary: Behind them lurked their past, painful and still bleeding. In front of them the uncertainty of war. Today, they fight to live, love and protect. Remus/Tonks
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, their universe, the characters or the fancy words that JKR made up to go with them. I use them without making any money. I also don't own the lyrics at the top of each chapter. Those belong to Secondhand Serenade.
A/N: Written for the Secondhand Serenade songs challenge on HPFC. Challenge given by DraconianKnight. My song was 'Why'.
There are a total of six chapters. I'll probably post one every other day. Reviews are welcome, appreciated and loved wholeheartedly. :)
This is unbetaed. All mistakes are my own. Point one out if you see it. :)
"I don't think I knew the chaos I was getting in…"
They fought. It slowly built up to a nearly constant fight so that when Remus looked at his wife he didn't know if they'd gotten over the last fight and were starting fresh or if the fights had begun compounding upon one another. He loved her. Perhaps that was the root of all their problems. If he could care just a little less for her safety, her future- their future, then he wouldn't feel the need to tell her what to do.
If he didn't tell her what to do, she wouldn't push back. Her fear motivated her to give him a piece of her mind if only to remind herself that she was alive, still breathing and still fighting. Instead, alive, they fought.
Their latest fight was why deep red hair spread across her pillow. Nearly burgundy in color it had began sprouting from her hair when their voices rose above a reasonable level. The longer they fought the redder it got. He knew by morning it will have faded to another color of her choice, but for tonight amidst the chaos of their pain it was red.
Harry had left. He'd run from the wedding and no one had heard from him. It wasn't the premise of their fight, but the undercurrent had run through it like a wild fire threatening to burn them if they got too close to it. He'd gone. They were alone in the world, still so young and stupid. Remus felt the need to find them. He felt the need to fight rubbing at him leaving him with no peace.
Tonks told him in her roundabout way that he was under no circumstances to go running after them. Not now when the ministry had fallen, and not in his condition. It had infuriated him that he should be limited in his ability to protect his best friend's son. This was Harry, not just any boy, but Harry Potter. This was the war that he'd been fighting since he'd graduated school. She couldn't understand.
He had growled and told her that she didn't know a damn thing about what he should or couldn't do. It stung her, he could tell because it was then that her hair first began to show signs of red. She didn't respond, she just let him continue to vent until her entire head of hair was bright red.
"I'm going to bed," she said when he stopped for air. Then she left the room and went to bed without a look back.
He sat on the sofa waiting for a few minutes. After he thought she'd be changed and in bed he walked into their small bedroom and got ready for bed.
Sleep had been elusive in the weeks since Bill's wedding. At times it crept up on him attacking him swiftly and leaving him no better rested than before. On other nights it hid not bothering to grace him with its presence. This night was one of the latter nights.
He watched his wife sleep. Her features were delicate, her nose smaller than she usually kept it and her lips thinner. Every so often he evaluated her hair wondering if it had begun to fade or if it was a trick of the darkness.
He remembers his days sometimes, the important ones, based upon the color of her hair.
The day he told her for the first time that he loved her, it turned from a mousey brown to a shade of sunshine yellow. It made her look washed out and pale, but it brought out her eyes which were the bluest shade he had ever seen in his life.
The day they'd first made love, they'd been laughing and flirting. He'd kissed her too vigorously, too hard for her small lips and tiny body to be able to handle. He'd pulled away to apologize knowing that he must have bruised her arms with his grip and her lips with his. But she's pulled him closer and her hair darkened until it was nearly black, like her mothers. He looked into her eyes and for a moment he thought that her pupils had dilated to hide her irises, but they too were black. A testament to the passion which consumed her.
On the day they married, her mother had insisted that she look like herself. Remus didn't know her usual nose, lips, hair or eyes from any of the others that she wore from day to day so he left the arguing to the women. When she walked down the aisle with brown hair and blue eyes, she looked just as lovely a she always did. There was a way that he would be able to pick her out of a crowd no matter how she looked. He knew her.
The week after Moody died her hair had been black. Her skin was pale, her eyes a sunken shade of dull gray. Her cheeks had no color. She'd sit and stare at the mirror for hours, her face contorted, but nothing changed. She stared at the same hollow woman until Remus came and took her away. She cried into his shoulder and when she looked up at him with tears sparkling in her eyes he could have sworn they were a little less gray.
"Remus," Tonks murmured softly from her side of the bed.
He's been so consumed with his thoughts that he hadn't looked at her for a while. Her hair had faded to a reddish brown.
"Tonks," he sighed softly.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
Some days they had to embrace the chaos for they had no control of it.