I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING FROM CSI! IF I DID, THESE GUYS WOULD BE GETTING DRUNK!

The One Where Horatio Abuses His Glasses

At a party. Horatio and Frank are investigating a dead body.

Frank: According to witnesses, this person just dropped dead.

Horatio: How do you know?

Frank: Well, the people said that she was dancing and she just stopped, fell and died.

Horatio: I guess the life of the party(puts on glasses) is the death of(one of the lenses of his glasses breaks)

Frank: (waits for Horatio to finish) Continue.

Horatio: (takes off glasses and picks up lens from ground) I want to be alone, Frank. (walks away, crying)

Frank: They're just stupid glasses!

Horatio: (turns to Frank) NO! (tears going down on his face) THEY ARE MY FAVOURITE GLASSES! SO SHUT UP! (WALKS AWAY)

At lab with Alexx and Wolfe

Alexx: I haven't seen Horatio in a long time.

Wolfe: Oh, didn't you hear? Horatio put on his glasses and one of the lenses popped out. He's been reclusive ever since.

Alexx: Couldn't he buy a new pair?

Wolfe: I asked him that. He said if I asked that question again, he'd send me to NCIS:LA.

Alexx: Oy. That sucks. I wonder where he is and what he's doing?

At Horatio's house. Horatio has just buried his sunglasses in his backyard.

Horatio: These last eight years of my life with you have been wonderful. I could get away with saying anything and then I'd put you on and walk away. (his son comes from the house to join Horatio) You are my own family, away from my crazy mess of a wife and a messed up son. And, most importantly, I don't have to make eye contact with anyone. (looks at his son) Don't you want to say anything? (his son, pisses, walks away) See, glasses? He can act like me and he doesn't need glasses! Why is this world so unfair?

Back at lab, two weeks later. Alexx is investigating a dead body when Frank comes in.

Frank: Have you seen Horatio anywhere?

Alexx: (looks at body, shocked) You can talk?! Why are you asking about Horatio? Why do you care?

Frank: A-hem. It's me.

Alexx: (looks up, surprised to see Frank) Oh. It's you.

Frank: You really need to see a therapist. I mean, talking to dead bodies. Really unhealthy.

Alexx: No, I haven't seen Horatio.

Frank: Well, he has to show up some time.

Horatio's house. Horatio is crying, in the fetal position, in his bed.

Horatio: WHY DOES GOD HAVE TO BE SO CRUEL!!!!!???? TAKE AWAY MY GLASSES!!!! MY GLASSES! AHHHHHHHH! (throws himself out of a window)

Two hours later at Horatio's house. Alexx and Wolfe surround Horatio's body.

Alexx: (shakes her head) He kills himself for broken sunglasses? How sad.

Wolfe: Well, you know what they say. He's down there(puts on sunglasses) looking up at us. (is about to walk away)

Horatio: (gets up) NNNNOOOOOOOOOO! (punches Wolfe) THAT'S MY BIT!!!!!

Alexx: ZOMBIE!!!!!! (gets gun and shoots Horatio to death) That's what you get for killing me in the last two Marcen12 CSI: Miami stories.

Wolfe: So I guess that this(puts on sunglasses) the end. (walks away)

YYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!