Summary: John comes back to the Sanctuary

Rating: T

Pairing: Helen and John.

COMING HOME:

Helen had been standing with Nikola in her study for the last half hour listening to him rant and rave about how backwards her lab was. Stoically she stood there and listened all the while thinking how much of a pompous, arrogant jerk he was being. She had let him stay in her Sanctuary after their latest run in and he had done nothing but complain. And Helen had endured it. Now it was beginning to grate on her nerves. "Listen very carefully Nikola…"

"Helen…"

"Oh great, the psycho's back."

Quickly Helen turned her gun at the ready and aimed at John's head. She hadn't thought that she would be seeing him again, and yet here he was standing in front of her grinning like the Cheshire Cat. The last time he had been here, John had killed one of the Empath's she had been helping and he had nearly killed her. At the time she was concerned with her own survival, but as she looked back she saw that John had been forcing her hand to end his life and to give him some small measure of peace. Helen couldn't give him that much. She had been locked in her own personal hell watching people she cared about, watching her daughter die. John was not going to check out of this life, and he wasn't going to do it by her hand. If she had do endure the centuries then so to would John.

She may have had the gun aimed at his head but she knew she couldn't pull the trigger. "What are you doing here?" But her question went unanswered as he came to her and his hands cupped her face and his forehead leaned against hers. She could hear him whispering 'See me' over and over. His voice was low enough that only she could make it out and even then John's voice was barely audible. As he continued to speak Helen felt John's power envelop them and next she knew she was in her bedroom with John swaying against her. The doctor in her took hold. Helen grasped his upper arms and helped him to sit on the edge of her bed, and then she backed away from him.

"I feel…" John looked up and chuckled, "So free. I feel so good."

Helen continued to watch him and saw that there was blood on his shirt and singe marks along his chest. What had he done to himself? "What happened?" Helen asked again and inwardly cringed when John turned bright shinning eyes on her; happiness poured out from his blue depths.

"I'm finally free." John got to his feet and swayed but steadied himself. "The power of a thunderstorm works wonders." He laughed again. John couldn't help it; he was so euphoric. Just the inner calm he felt, the peace that invaded his being was something he had wanted for so long. Now that he had it John wasn't sure if it wasn't another dream. As much as the inner calm scared him, it was worth it just to look at Helen, feel his love for her, without being drowned in hatred. "It feels so good." John inhaled deeply and let out his breath in a slow laugh. Through half closed eyes he could see her shiver at the sound and it was not a shiver of revulsion; it excited her on some level. Let his fingers dance over the buttons of his shirt, John undid the first three to show the severe electrical burn he had sustained from the lightening bolt. The wound was raw and it ached but at the same time it felt wonderful. He hardly noticed the pain.

Helen saw the angry wound on his chest and immediately went to him to examine it to make sure it wasn't infected. Knowing John he would be fine and he would live to torment her another day. Was it really that bad to have John back to his old self before the Ripper? No, not really but there was a part of her that was unsure. She could have another chance with him. That was what she wanted in her heart of hearts after all. Helen Magnus wanted her second chance with John Druitt. Their life together had been ruined and now she saw her chance to have it back. The deepest part of her heart still yearned for his smile, his kind words, and his fevered kisses. Only John Druitt knew how to kiss her and make her heart pound so hard. "Oh, John," Helen whispered as she gently touched the wound. He hissed in pain and her heart clenched.

"I did this for you," John spoke taking her hands from his wound and holding them to his heart. It was a heart that never stopped beating for her. Even now he swelled with love for the woman standing before him. It was a love he couldn't feel with that 'beast' inside of him, but now that it was gone, that one shining emotion that he had wanted to feel, love, was burning through him, and it was all for Helen.

Helen felt the reassuring beat of his heart; something she had been dying to feel against her palm for so long. This was her John staring at her, not the evil he had become. She felt a deep seeded need to reach out to him, to caress his cheek, and to kiss his lips. In a moment of her sentimentality Helen pulled back her hands from his heart, wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and brought John's ear to her own heart. John loved nothing more than to hear her heartbeat. She would give him this small measure of comfort. His arms encircled her waist and again he teleported them.

John thought of their old place in London; he hadn't meant to but here they were. He stood up and went to the balcony door as he sensed Helen staying where she was. John could sense her fear of him. That hurt him deep down in his soul. He hadn't come back to make her afraid of him. John had come back to show her he was himself again. Looking back to Helen, John unbuttoned the rest of his shirt and let his slip from his arms. He saw Helen draw in a ragged breath. It pleased him that she could still react to his body with passion and not revulsion. Going to her John once again took her hand and placed it against his heart, "I'm finally free."

"How can you be sure?" Helen wanted to pull away, wanted to reach for her deep well of hatred for him. But she couldn't, all she could feel was the painful love that still burned. Some days it hurt to remember the life she and John could have had and then on other days it was a comfort to know that those memories were not dreams; that she and John had had something real together. Then the Ripper had come into their world and they had never been the same. Being here with John emotionally hurt and healed her. She could see him, her John, deep in his blue eyes. Just knowing that made her wanted to cry. Her John was finally free of his hatred. Could she forgive him? Was her love that strong for him?

"I know…" John smiled and sighed. "Because I love you and I can feel it. It burns through me, makes me happy, and all I want to do is hold you."

"How am I supposed to forgive you?" Helen asked feeling tears gather in her eyes. Being in this apartment brought too many memories of nights spent together locked in passion back into her mind.

"You can't, but do you love me?" John leaned his forehead to hers and waited for her answer.

"Yes," Her answered was barely above a whisper, "I still love you." Just this once she prayed to the Gods that she didn't. John could cause her nothing but pain, but just seeing him made her happy beyond all reason. And then her tears fell, tears of joy and tears of pain. To be with John she would be in pain. She would always be waiting for him to go back to being the monster he had been for over a hundred years. How could she willingly go back to him, go back into his arms, and allow him to love her? It was easy, because he was John and she was Helen, and their love had been the only thing that had made sense to her. Even now it still made sense.