A/N: Hillo Whovians! This is the second story in the Destiny series. The first is The Start of Our Destiny so you should read that one first!

Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who or the characters blah blah etc.

ENJOY!

Chapter One: Roses and Guilt

How is it I left the love of my life trapped and I can't reach her? I love her and I left her to die and if she doesn't die she'll be trapped in the same second forever. I can't believe I did that to her.

Now I have Rose and I think I'm falling for her but I know I can't because I. Love. Clara. I feel guilty for loving Rose because I love Clara. I really, really do love Clara and I was always saying to her that I'm the one who doesn't deserve her and I didn't think I would ever love anyone else. Now I'm falling for Rose and I feel so much guilt that it hurts.

Clara is gone and no one will ever take her place. Rose just found a new place and opened me up after the war. I miss Clara so much. She taught me so many things and helped me see the universe anew. Rose helped me after the war, after Clara, to keep on living my life day after day.

When I first met Rose I was about to blow up a shop, and myself with it. There was just something about Rose that reminded me of Clara that I just couldn't kill myself. She reminded me of Clara with her compassion for others.

I took her to the explosion of the Earth's sun. So many people died and when Cassandra was creaking she wanted me to help her. Clara would have done the same thing. I was still closed off then. I just let Cassandra die. We went out for chips after that.

We ended up in Victorian Cardiff. I meant to take her to Leadworth but the navigation system is still a mess. Clara always said it was more fun that way. You never know where you're going to end up. Rose felt sorry for the Gelth and wanted to let them take the bodies. I, of course, knew there was something wrong with the Gelth. They were in the Time War. You don't come out of the Time War unscathed. She even helped Charles Dickens see the world differently.

She wanted to go home to see her mum. The navigation decided to take us a year later. Everyone thought she was missing, or that her boyfriend Mickey killed her.

The Slitheen wanted to turn the Earth into fuel. I knew I could save the Earth but lose her and I didn't want to lose another person I love. She didn't care though. She was willing to risk her life to save the world.

In 2012 I thought my world was coming crashing down on me. I thought I had saved the universe from their terror but they just keep coming back to haunt me. They're just a reminder that I left the love of my life trapped in a war that I thought was finished. This Dalek was the last of its kind just as I am the last of mine. Rose didn't know the full extent of its evil—and why would she? She touched it and it used the time energy to heal itself. It killed many people that day. Rose decided to bring Adam, the boy from the museum the Dalek was kept in, with us.

Adam didn't stay with us for long. To be honest I was jealous of him. I loved Rose and I was too much of a coward to tell her. I was getting over losing Clara. I know it sounds wrong but I will always love Clara there's no doubt about that, but I was falling in love with someone else.

We took Adam home after that adventure. Left him with a door in his head but that's what he gets for getting the door installed anyway.

Rose asked me if I could take her to see her dad when he was still alive. Now me being me I want to do everything in my power to make her happy. I did that with Clara too, you want the person you love to be happy and you want to be the reason they're happy.

I took her back, of course, but I didn't know that she was planning on saving her dad from death. I let myself be killed for her. For me it was only a second, but when I came back, I knew her father had run in front of the car that was originally supposed to kill him. I told her to run to her dad. That's what she wanted to do in the first place, run to her dad while he was dying and be there for him. I knew then that I had completely fallen for her. I was willing to do anything for her.

We chased this capsule through time and space. I remember doing this with Clara. Clara and I chased all the things we could find across the galaxies and constellations.

The capsule landed in WW2 in the middle of the London Blitz. There were gasmask zombies trying to "heal" the planet when in reality they were just making everything worse.

Met a man called Captain Jack Harkness and thanks to his self-cleaning con it was his fault the Earth was in danger of having a zombie apocalypse. Captain Jack was a flirt, and when I say flirt I don't mean flirts with some of the girls, I mean if it breathes he will flirt with it. He's a captain alright but captain of the Innuendo Squad. He's been a real help though.

Rose said she needed her passport and we needed to refuel the TARDIS so we stopped in Cardiff. I thought about the last time I refueled the TARDIS. Clara and I were on the rift on Apalapucia. It's beautiful on Apalapucia. Yes, it may be the second best planet to travel to, but who would want to go to the planet of the coffee shops? We had just had our daughter, Hale, and I wanted that to be the first planet she ever traveled to. Our daughter was beautiful, with my last regenerations curly hair and Clara's green eyes, absolutely beautiful.

I kept telling Rose she doesn't need her passport but I just think she wanted an excuse to see Mickey again. I'm jealous of Mickey I know, but he's Rose's boyfriend and I don't want to admit it but I love Rose Tyler. She will never be Clara but I still love Rose. I don't feel guilty anymore about falling for Rose. I think Clara would want me to fall in love again and be happy. That's the only thing she ever wanted, for me to be happy.

Margret the Slitheen came back. She was the mayor of Cardiff. We had to stop her. She about ripped the world apart but since the TARDIS is sentient she was able to revert Margret the Slitheen back into an egg. Most people forget that a TARDIS is sentient, but Clara never did. I would catch her sometimes carrying on conversations with the old box. She never knew I was there but most the conversations were about how she thought she still wasn't good enough for me. I would always tell her differently but she still thought she would never be good enough.

We were coming back from taking Margret to the hatchery on Raxacoricofallapatorious and were on our way to Kyoto in 1336 when a transmit beam came through the TARDIS. I knew there was something wrong then. Clara always said that a TARDIS was the strongest thing in the universe, so for a transmit beam to make its way into my ship well, someone really wanted me out of my ship.

I ended up in a Big Brother house, Rose in Weakest Link, and Jack was in What Not to Wear. These games were killer. I thought Rose was dead and when I found out she was alive I was ecstatic. I had only ever been ecstatic one time before and that's when Clara told me she loved me. I don't think I'll ever feel that happy again but I was still happy to know that Rose was alive. Then we found out that Rose was on a Dalek ship.

These Daleks weren't pure. They were made from the dead of humanity and loathed their own existence. I had a plan to destroy them, but destroying them meant that I would also destroy all life on Earth.

I sent Rose back home. I knew I was going to die. Maybe it was time to die, and maybe if I died I would see my Clara again. Oh God, I just miss her so much. I love Rose but she will never be Clara. I just wish I could see my Clara at least one last time.

I hear the TARDIS but I sent Rose home so, how? There it is, my TARDIS – but how? The doors open and Rose is surrounded by a golden light, the Time Vortex. I had to take it out of her. I kissed her and took it out of her; then I put it back into the TARDIS. She passed out and I brought her into the TARDIS. She doesn't remember a thing. I had to leave Jack behind too. Rose brought him back to life, but permanently.

I look down at my hand and the regeneration energy flowing through me. It's time. I start to regenerate and, like always, I think of Clara. She always wanted to see me after I regenerated each time but she never got to. I had seen most of her regenerations except her fifth one, I was gone during that one. I love Clara so much and I will never love anyone else like I love her. I love Rose and not even Rose can compare to Clara.

I wish Clara could see this new me. New teeth, new hair that I wish Clara would be able to run her fingers through. I have Rose and I love Rose but will never ever be Clara no matter what. Rose is wonderful, but Clara, she was my destiny. She will always be my destiny.