Chapter 1: Irony

The cell phone lay lifeless on the table. Ruthie, frustrated, picked it up again. She checked its voicemail just in case she had zoned out and missed its ring.

"No messages." The automated voice said innocently not realizing the pain it was causing the brunette.

Why hasn't he called me yet? Ruthie wondered desperately looking down at Savannah and Aaron playing on the floor of the RV.

Just then a phone ring bellowed out in the quiet. Ruthie jerked to grab her cell phone only to realize it wasn't her phone that was ringing. Getting up, she started looking for the source of the ring holding out that possibly T Bone forgot her number and was calling someone else on the trip. Why would he forget my number? She pondered realizing how stupid she was being.

"Mommy's phone." Aaron mumbled wobbling over to Ruthie falling down at her feet.

" Sandy." Savannah added from her place on the floor.

"That's your Mommy's phone ringing?" Ruthie asked picking up Aaron. She walked over to Sandy's jacket that was lying on the sofa. Digging up the pockets of the blue jacket, Ruthie uncovered the ringing phone which she was surprised was still ringing.

The screen blinked, "Martin."

Ruthie hesitated a moment. Her mind went flashing back. It's too late I'm in love with someone else.

"Phone!" Aaron screamed in her ear waking her out of her trance.

She slowly opened the razor. "Hello." She said softly.

"Ruthie?" Martin's surprise could be heard through the receiver.

"Hey. I'm sorry Sandy must have forgotten her cell phone and I'm here in the RV alone babysitting so I thought I'd answer it for her." Ruthie rambled on nervously.

Martin chuckled a little bit. "That's okay. I just called to see how my boy is doing."

"Oh, he's doing great. In fact, he's in my arms right now." Ruthie leaned her head into Aaron's.

"Daddy!" Aaron realized who was on the phone. Ruthie put the phone up to his ear.

"How's my star player doing today." Martin said. Ruthie couldn't help but smile at Martin's baseball reference. He really hoped Aaron would grow to love baseball as much as he does.

"Supper." The little boy announced randomly.

Ruthie laughed and took the phone back. "I think he means superb. He heard Jonathan say that last night and has been fascinated with the word ever since even though he can't pronounce it."

"That's my boy." Martin laughed causing the girl to laugh again. Suddenly, they were Ruthie and Martin again.

Martin cleared his throat suddenly. "Well, um, I guess I'll see you next week." He had remembered they were supposed to be awkward around each other now.

"Uh, yeah. See ya next week." Ruthie closed her eyes and sucked in a breath of air. "Bye, Martin."

"Bye, Ruthie." Both of their minds went flashing back to the last time they said that to each other.

Ruthie closed the phone and put in back into Sandy's jacket. After putting Aaron on the floor, she went back over to the table where her cell phone still laid silent. It was ironic. She had rejected Martin because she didn't think he was committed enough to their relationship. She had made herself love T Bone because she thought he was committed enough to their relationship. Yet, this summer, Martin had consistently called Sandy everyday to see how Aaron was and he even talked to Jonathan. Apparently they are great friends now. Meanwhile, T Bone was the faithful boyfriend for about a week and from that point forward, Ruthie was left making the phone calls and trying to get him to actually sound interested in their conversation.

That's it. If T Bone loves me, he'll find a way to reach me. Fed up Ruthie grabbed her phone and turned it off.

Sam and David pounded up the stairs into the RV followed by Kevin holding Savannah, Sandy , Jonathan and finally Ruthie, who was sulking behind everyone. She had been like this for the past five days, yet, no one in the family dare destroy the so far undramatic vacation by getting into Ruthie's often dramatic brain.

"Mom, the zoo was awesome." Sam exclaimed as he and his twin brother ran up to Annie in the kitchen area. They had just gotten back from the San Diego zoo. "We saw this orangutan that just woke up from a nap and put his blanket around his head."

"It was really cute, Annie." Sandy said from behind.

"Can we get an orangutan?" David asked eagerly grabbing his mother's arm for emphasis.

Everyone laughed at David's innocent question except for Ruthie who had planted herself on the sofa immersed in Brio Magazine.

"We're not zoned for primates, David." Sam declared smugly.

"Well, we should move then." David's retort fell flat.

Annie decided to break it up before it got bad. "We are not getting an orangutan and we are not moving. Now go out take Happy for a walked around the park but don't leave site of the RV."

"Okay." Sam obediently went over to get Happy's leash.

"I still think we should get an orangutan." David sulked over to a wake Happy from his nap at Eric's feet.

As the twins left the RV, Sandy asked, "Can I help you two prepare dinner."

"Sure." Lucy replied before her Mom got a chance. "You can make the salad."

The women got busy in the kitchen while Jonathan sat across the table from Eric. "You done with that?" He pointed at the sports section.

"Yeah, sure." Eric replied taking off his reading glasses. "Where's the rest of our crew."

"Oh, Mac and the girls went to get ice cream." Sandy called from the kitchen.

"And Stanley disappeared again." Jonathan finished her sentence. "He sure is a strange fellow."

Ruthie, who was listening to the whole conversation, couldn't help but laughed inwardly. Stanley was a homeless man they let take the cross country trip with them. Honestly, she was surprised they weren't all dead on the side of the road while he drove off.

Silence fell upon the RV except for some clanging from the food preparers, a turning of the newspaper page from Jonathan and Kevin murmuring at Savannah on the floor. Ruthie could feel the eyes of her father rest on her but she refused to look up from her magazine.

Eric was never one to shy away from a challenge from his children. "So, Ruthie. I got a call from T Bone today."

She looked up nonchalantly. She half expected her heart to be racing at the sound of his name. But it wasn't. "Oh, what did he want?"

"He wanted to know why you haven't called him in a few days."

A few days! Try FIVE days. Ruthie's brain shouted. She remained silent and by this time, everyone in the room was paying attention.

"So why haven't you called him?" Eric pried. "He seemed really concerned. He loves you, Ruthie."

That was it. Ruthie couldn't take it anymore and stood up. "If he loved me, it wouldn't have taken him so long to call you to find out what's going on!" And with that she stomped out the door slamming it behind her.

Everyone looked at each other confused and surprised. "So which one of us wants to tackle Ruthie, today?" Eric asked.

"I'll go." Lucy volunteered setting her dish towel on the counter. "I think I may know what's going on."

Ruthie stared into the water. It moved gently over the pebbles that covered the floor of the creek. It was sunny, warm day but Ruthie shivered in the shade. This was her spot on this particular camping ground. She had found her own spot at every park they stayed at over the country. She was a people person but she was also the type who just needed her space sometimes to refuel. I wonder who's going to come and talk to me. They just can't leave me alone.

A stick cracked behind her. Here the volunteer comes. Ruthie threw a rock into the creek.

Lucy slowly took a seat on the rock next to Ruthie. She was five months pregnant. Ruthie couldn't believe Lucy had made all three months of the trip let alone with hardly any irrational mood swings that Lucy was so famous for.

Lucy just looked at Ruthie for a moment. "Ruthie, do you think Matt, Mary and I weren't happy until we were married."

Ruthie didn't even think. "Of course. You all lived such tortured lives before you got married."

"And we still lived tortured lives." Lucy laughed. "We just share it with someone."

Ruthie didn't seem to find it so funny and focused her eyes back on the creek water.

"I was happy before I met Kevin. Maybe not so happy with my love life but everything else was great. I had found a career I loved and had a support system that loved me. Meeting Kevin was just a gift from God. An additional blessing to an already blessed life. Ruthie, you have so much going for you. You're smart and sassy and beautiful but yet you seem to have thrown that all away and put your full attention on being in a relationship that can lead to marriage." Lucy paused to see if Ruthie would reply. She didn't.

"I miss the old Ruthie. The Ruthie I used to envy because she could think on her feet. The Ruthie that was so determinedly independent. The Ruthie I see sitting next to me seems to a shell of the real Ruthie. The real Ruthie seemed to be lost after a certain young man broke your heart a few years back." Lucy continued.

Ruthie felt a tear fall down her cheek.

"I don't know what's going with you and T Bone but I suggest you try to figure out what you want out of life and then decide who fits in right next to you. Take your relationships slow. Don't just immediately think you are going to marry this guy. God has a way of messing with our plans. Take me and Jeremy for instance." Lucy referred to her failed engagement with a guy when she was eighteen.

"I love you, Ruthie." Lucy touched Ruthie's shoulder before getting up.

"Lucy?" Ruthie finally opened her mouth.

"Yeah." She said turning around.

"How do you know you love Kevin if he's not you sole source of joy?" Ruthie asked.

Lucy smiled. "Jesus Christ is my sole source of joy. But I know I love Kevin because without him in my life part of me will be forever gone. I may be able to move on in my life but Kevin will always belong to part of my heart. He and I are one."

Ruthie smiled. "Thanks, Lucy. I love you too. And I'm glad you're not going to Crossroads."

"Me too." Lucy grinned. "I want to be near my family and Kevin's decided to take that job that Chief Michaels volunteered for him."

"Good." Ruthie replied.

As Lucy walked away, Ruthie turned again to face the creek. Lucy was right about everything. She had lost who she was when Martin broke her heart. And ever since then she had been trying to pick up the pieces. But now as she pondered Lucy's last words, Ruthie wondered if she would ever be able to pick up those pieces left shatter on the ground that Thanksgiving eve.