Chapter 1:
It's True, Hermione's a DHr shipper:
(Caution: This might remind you of….well. you. If you are in love with Draco Malfoy, as any sane girl would be.)
Hermione was walking alone down a dark hallway late one night. Black shadows seemed to crawl around her, moving so gently that she could barely notice. /maybe it's just my imagination/ She hoped it was anyway. She suddenly heard faint snarling- growing louder, and lounder and louder. A rusltling of leaves—Hermione imagined demons crawling toward her, lurking just beyond the edge of her sight. A smell- decay. Another step forward- why was the ground sticky? Hermione could not see anything but she felt that she had somehow stumbled into a patch of mud. But in the middle of a hallway? Here? The safest place in the wizarding world/what on earth is going on/
Suddenly, a heavenly glow- so radiant as to banish all sign of shadow- broke through the night. Relief filled Hermione's mind- she was suddenly overjoyed at the idea of – someone – to be by her. She could sense the demons turning at the sight of this divine creature. But then again, in a flash of blond hair, he was gone, for, alas, Draco Malfoy did not know that she, Hermione Granger, existed. He left her to the shadows. But in the brief moments of their stunned retreat in Draco's wake, Hermione escaped into the confines of her room. Again to fall prey to her own mind.
The obsession had begun in her last year of school at Hogwarts. She had been bored after finishing all her homework one night and she was bored with her old porn magazines so she decided to try something new. Fanfiction. But not just any fanfiction. HermioneDraco fanfiction. What a beautiful thing.
Afterward, Hermione's life was never the same. She had an awakening of sorts; she realized what was truly important in life: Draco. She began to stalk him. She read about him every night. She began to lose sleep. She ate very rarely. She lost all her friends. Harry and Ron were gay with each other and then got really drunk one night when out partying with Voldemort. The three of them formed an alliance. Voldemort may have been against muggles, but he also possessed a strange attraction for Harry and Ron. Let's just face it. Harry was pretty damn hot and Ron- well, Ron was a great chess player. And Voldemort liked chess.
In the end, the three of them went to San Francisco and got married. Dumbledore felt left out until he met Mrs. Weasley at a club one night and ran away with her. Arthur was devastated, but he had always loved muggles, so he decided to give up all luxuries and go live with muggles. He eventually moved away from them and wrote a book called "Walden" which describes his experiences.
So Hermione was left alone. But that was how she liked it. She could devote all her time to stalking Draco. And that is exactly what she planned to do.
A/N: Well, maybe an extreme version of someone in love with Draco Malfoy, Sex God of Slytherin (according to fanfiction, anyway)….
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