Disclaimer: Don't own FMA
Summary: Sleeping Ed, Milk, Mustang
It was another one of those days where Ed has to hand in a report, the difference, and the colonel bastard isn't here.
Hours passed and the short blond alchemist took his coat off and fell asleep on the couch, his trade mark jacket fell on the floor with his tossing and turning. Mouth wide open and snoring, lashes reflecting the sun, and a boyish face instead of the normal stern one that is always in a book or angry at someone "calling" him short.
Mustang finally decided to go back to his office, upon seeing the sight, he had an idea for the shrimp, which could only result in his injury or death but it was worth it.
He closed the door and ordered Breda to buy him a bottle of milk, thankfully Hawkeye took a day of or else it wasn't possible for this to be done.
"Colonel, what's this for?" Breda had to ask because this wasn't like Mustang to ask for a drink except for his coffee, no milk, sugar or cream.
"You don't need to know, now go!" Mustang replied with impatience.
After Breda got the bottle of milk with amazing took almost half an hour because the cafeteria ran out of milk, and the local grocery store decided to upgrade security which weren't tied properly forcing Breda to be chase by two furious dogs all around central.
Mustang couldn't help but smirk as he opened the bottle of milk, pinch the brat's nose, not as tight as he wouldn't be able to sleep and pour the bottle of milk into the brat's mouth. Thankfully the kid slept like a log because of the last assignment he was been on.
Half an hour later…
"What's in my mouth" the golden eyed blonde googly woke up to a taste…. Of milk…. In his mouth. Then his sights turn to the bastard who also had an empty bottle of milk next to him…
"You bastard, you drugged me with cow juice while I was asleep! How low can you get!" the blonde screeched making his hatred of the white substance known inside, and outside the office.
"Well full metal, I wouldn't call it drugged but voluntarily taken." The bastard stated all too calmly.
"Why would I drink it, did your flames burned your head, or did Hawkeye acctually shot it for once!" the full metal alchemist yelled, loud enough that all of central could properly hear it.
"Your mouth was open, and besides in this season milk is in short supply." The colonel shrugged of the jab at his mental health.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT A BOTTLE OF MILK IS TALLER THAN HIM!" the blonde yelled second time that day.
"Be reasonable full metal, it's the winter; do you know how long it takes for milk to be imported?" Mustang tries to reason with the blonde.
"Why would I care!" the full metal alchemist pouted.
"Your hatred of milk probably resulted in your lack of calcium, now where's that report?" Mustang tried changing the topic key word tried.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SOOO SHORT THAT A MOLICUE OF CALCIUM IS BIGGER THAN HIM….YOU FREAKING HYPICUTE!" for the third time that day central shook.
"The report and I am not a hypocrite."Mustang defended.
"The coffee you drink is black, no milk or any of the other weird stuff in it…" Ed stated and glared at his commander.
"That doesn't mean that I don't drink milk, how else am I this tall, I certainly wasn't your size at your age. Now the report." The colonel finally demanded.
"Hey! Lay off I'm only twelve. " Ed pouted again and pulled out a wrinkled piece of paper from his pocket and slammed it on the colonel's desk.
"Full metal this is unacceptable…." As Mustang ranted on about how messy Ed's report was, Ed was out the door but he could just make out the blonde boy muttering to himself "got to tell Al to remind me to never fall asleep in the bastard's office…. Who knows what he'll do next".
AN: More with Ed and Mustang, this isn't exactly a mission but there have to be times that Ed did fell asleep in the colonel's office, he's got a couch in there and since Ed sleeps in trains, hotels, his brother's back, I'm sure he could sleep in there. And Mustang loves to torment Ed, why not with milk.