Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, locations or plots from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This is just a work of fiction which has only been able to come into being because of the universe that Mr. Whedon's created.

Tara's dorm room, UC Sunnydale Campus.

Tara couldn't sleep. She stared up at the ceiling of her studio apartment close to the UC Sunnydale campus while the cool air from the air conditioner gently brushed her shoulders and face. It had been nearly four months since Buffy died after jumping into the portal that opened under the tower Glory's mentally drained minions- other humans- built in a junk yard. It was that day that Dawn was cut by the creature known as Doc, one of the mad Hellgod's disciples, and it was the blood of Dawn, the Key in human form, that opened the portal to every single hell dimension. The very same portal that Buffy jumped into so that the portal could be shut down.

And it did shut down thanks to Buffy's sacrifice. 'We buried her, we mourned her, and… and then Willow had to…' Tara closed her eyes at the taught of the woman she loved. Opening her eyes back up again, they were glistening with tears as she thought about the months after Buffy's death- moving out of the dorms and into the Summers home so that she and Willow could look after Dawn, making sure that Dawn was able to mourn properly while, at the same time, helping the younger Summers get on with her life.

But with the plan Willow had come up with a month ago, Tara couldn't stay in the redhead's vicinity. Tara told herself that she loved Willow, but at the same time she was very aware of how the redhead had overtaken her as a user of magic. It was something that Tara didn't think much off in the first place, she was with Willow and that was all that mattered.

'Willow knows how to differ between right and wrong,' that was the thought going through Tara's mind ever since she first met the redhead and sensed her power. 'She saved my life… she brought me back my mind after Glory stole it. She and I saved ourselves from the ones that stole our voices'. Tara thought of ll the other times that Willow used her powers for the good of others…. To help others, 'and she's done that for the most part. And I'm proud of her for that. For being a protector of those who needed it.' Tara was very aware of how Willow had seen her, as someone who needed to be protected, and for the most part the blonde liked the feeling of having someone watching over her.

Then the cracks started to appear, 'she used magic for personal use- to do her chores, or to do anything that she could have done with her own two hands'. Tara then sighed before thinking to herself that she did understand why Willow would want to use her powers, 'she's relatively new to using magic. And she wanted to help Buffy- I know I wanted to help her as much as possible too.'

But Buffy was dead now. The Buffy bot was the Slayer now with Faith imprisoned and the rest of the Scoobies, even Giles, refusing to go to the Council and ask for a reprieve for her. Tara understood their mistrust of the dark haired Slayer and pushed her own need to convince the others to at least ask the Council for help to one side. 'While we were using the Buffybot, Willow was using her magic as well' Tara then shook her head, 'but that was to help the Buffybot and us when we went out to patrol.' Tara sighed, 'but what she wants to do now? What she's thinking about doing?'

Tara told herself, as she closed her eyes to try and drift away into an uneasy sleep, that she was right in having a break from Willow. Tara hoped Willow, at the last moment, would see that she didn't approve of the plan and that the redhead would put a stop to it on her own. Tara's mind went back to the events of two weeks ago.

The Summers family home, two weeks ago.

It had been three months since Buffy's death that Willow brought up an idea when Dawn was at school, Giles was working at the Magic Box, and she and Tara were in the kitchen with Xander and Anya. It was an idea that Tara vehemently disagreed with since it meant going up against the natural order of life and death.

"No," Tara said whilst she stood at the kitchen island, she felt blood rushing away from her face and wondered if she looked paler than she usually did while repeating Willow's plan in her mind, "no."

"No?" Willow, stunned, asked while Xander and Anya looked at each other and then away. Willow then turned to Xander and Anya and explained that the plan she had would work, "I just need a few ingredients and some ritualistic items like the Urn of Osiris, and…"

"Willow," Tara interrupted as the redhead turned to her girlfriend shaking her head, "you know we can't use our powers to…"

"I know, I know," Willow waved off Tara's concerns while a reassuring smile played on her face, "but Buffy didn't die a natural death. It was a mystical one. The ritual I found works on those who died by mystical means."

"It's still bringing back the dead," Tara shook her head. There was a part of her that was proud of Willow for even thinking about searching for a spell, but the other part of herself was terrified at the thought of what kind of magic Willow may have to use. She knew that bringing back the dead was something that required vast amounts of magic- very powerful magic that could very well make Willow feel as if she could do anything, damn the consequences. 'And what will be the consequence of this? What is the consequence of using so much magic to bring Buffy back from the dead?'

"Xander," Willow whined, ignoring the concerned expression on Tara's face and looking back at her best friend who stood across from her at the other end of the island in the kitchen, "we need Buffy. You know that. The Buffybot can only do so much and… and…" Willow closed her eyes shaking her head before looking at Xander, Anya, Tara, and then back at Xander once again, "Buffy's in a hell dimension right now suffering eternal torment, we need to get her out. We need Buffy. The real Buffy. We need to get her out."

Willow could see Tara looking away from her and down at the table top while biting down on her lower lip. She didn't know why Tara was against Buffy coming back, sure she was dead… but she was dead by mystical means which meant she could be brought back by mystical means. Willow then shifted her eyes back to Xander and continued, "the portal was open when Buffy jumped in, and the portal led to any number of hell dimensions. Buffy's soul could be in any one of them suffering as we speak."

"That is true," Anya nodded her head. Tara looked up at Anya, as did Xander, "any hell dimension isn't good for someone like Buffy who's been fighting to stop... you know... demons from taking over this realm." Anya then turned to the passive expression on Tara's face and added with a wave of her hands, "and she's most likely in Hell."

"How long has she been in there for?" Xander whispered looking back down at the table. He didn't want to think of Buffy being in Hell but, at the same time, he shared Tara's dobts. However, he also agreed with Willow's logic that the portal opened the Hell dimensions to the Erth realm and so Buffy was somewhere in Hell. He looked back up at Willow shake her head before saying that Buffy could have been trapped for years instead of five months

"Years more likely," Anya spoke before Willow could add anything else, "she could…."

"What if she's in heaven?" Tara spoke looking at Willow who narrowed her eyes at the blonde witch as if the former spoke an alien language, "what if Buffy's soul is in Heaven right now?" Tara then turned to Anya, "just like there are many hell dimensions, there are many heavenly dimensions, right?"

"Yes," Anya replied nodding her head, "but the portal that opened led to the hell dimensions. And…"

"Buffy saved the world," Tara said staring at Willow, and then at Anya, and then at Xander, "all of you know she saved the world. She saved the world even before I met her," Tara then motioned at Willow and Xander, "and when the three of you were in High School, and…"

"I was in high school too," Anya innocently added.

"Except you ran away when we faced the Mayor, and…" Willow frowned at Anya who narrowed her eyes at the redhead. The two of them were about to say something about the other when Tara interrupted them.

"My point is that the three of you and Mr. Giles saved the world many times over," the blonde witch said, her hands gripping tight onto the edge of the island, "so tell me why she didn't earn a place in heaven?" Tara stopped talking and stared at the expressions on each of the faces around her before continuing, "she could be in…"

"She could be," Willow added looking towards Xander for support, "Xander, Anya, she could be in heaven. But its far more likely she's in hell…. The portal led to every hell in existence. That's where Buffy is… she is suffering in hell as we speak and… and I want her back."

"I want her back too, Will," Xander said softly as the two old friends looked at each other, "but what if Tara's right? What if she's in heaven? I.. I'm not saying she is in heaven…. But…"

"We don't have the right to tear her away from heaven," Tara said, her hands on the island as she gripped the edges, "there is no where to know where she is, I…"

"So you would rather leave her to be tortured in Hell?" Willow whispered with a look of anguish at Tara while the others looked at the top of the island nervously, "is that what you're saying?"

"I'm saying she could be in either heaven or Hell," Tara shook her head as she tried to clarify. She could feel the tense atmosphere is the kitchen hardening while Willow's powers seemed to rise. Tara could feel the familiar electricity from Willow's magic as she stared into the redhead's green eyes, 'your magic is tied to your emotions, Willow. One day, if you're not careful, you will hurt someone.' Tara took in a deep breath before saying, "you're right, she could be in Hell. She could be suffering there for all eternity and that knowledge will torture me until the day I die."

"Then we're agreed that we need to bring Buffy back," Willow added while Tara frowned at the interruption. Willow turned to Anya, and was about to say something while Xander stared mournfully at Tara, when the blonde witch spoke out once again.

"I'm not finished, Willow," Tara exclaimed. Willow and Anya looked back at the young woman while Xander seemed to take a small step back, "it will hurt me even more if we tear Buffy away from heaven."

"Is there a way to find out where she is, Anya?" Xander asked while Tara and Willow stared at each other before they stared at him, and then at Anya. The latter shook her head before saying there was no way to know.

"We're bringing her back," Willow said with a look of confidence, "I know I will bring her back." Willow was looking at each of the group before laying her eyes back on Tara, "I… I know it's a risk. But… but I know I can do it. I know I have to." Willow's bottom lip then trembled before saying, "she's in Hell. I can feel it."

Tara then looked who Anya who looked away from her and whispered, "we need a Slayer." Tara frowned and then turned to Xander who still looked unsure.

"Xander," Tara whispered, "this is madness. We're…" she stopped talking upon seeing anguish take over his face. Tara sighed and then shook her head, "when Dawn wanted to raised Joyce from the dead, Willow and I told her that those spells were forbidden. They were forbidden because they were dangerous. Life and death is part of the natural cycle and we can't interfere with that." Tara then turned to Xander, "I know you want Joyce back. I know I want her back, I know that Willow wants her back, I know that Dawn and Anya want her back too." Tara then turned to Willow with a pleading look on her face, "but Joyce is dead. We have the power to bring her back, but we respected the cycle of life and death. It's the same thing with Buffy."

"Buffy's death was mystical," Willow pointed out staring at Tara, "and I am bringing her back."

"She's dead," Tara exclaimed as Anya took a step back from the island as well, "you're trying to play with…"

"I know exactly what I'm doing Tara," Willow exclaimed with a raised voice, "I know I have the power to bring her back. I…" Willow closed her eyes and shook her head, "I can do this. I have to do this. She's in Hell, Tara. I feel it in my soul. I feel her calling to me for help. I have to bring her back. Will you help me?"

"You're playing with life and death," Tara said staring at Willow, "I…. I can't… I…"

"Xander?" Willow said in a stunned voice as she looked down at the island, "will you be with me when I do this? The spell needs at least three people including the caster."

"Don't do this, Willow," Tara said almost begging, "if you… if you do this then I can't be here. You're breaking the cycle and… and I can't be here to…"

"Then you can't be here," Willow whispered looking away from Tara as she tried to hide her sadness. However, Tara could feel a sliver of anger growing within Willow amongst the sadness, and she shook her head before looking at Xander.

"We need to at least try, Tara."

Tara then looked at Anya who looked away with her arms around her chest, "Anya?" Anya looked back at Tara, and then at Xander who once again said that they needed Buffy, that the world needed Buffy.

Anya then looked back at Tara with eyes that were full of understanding and sorrow, for she knew the effect it would have on Tara. She agreed with Tara that this, what Willow was planning, would mean bringing back the dead. At the same time, she told herself that Buffy was important… that they needed her back. She thought to herself that perhaps Buffy dying a mystical death was the loophole- that she could only be brought back without any negative backlash through mystical means, "we should try, Tara."

"Then I can't be here," Tara whispered at Willow who stared back at her, "I cannot be a party to something that I am against. You have no idea that the person we are getting back is the Buffy we know, you don't know if she is in heaven or hell and if its Heaven then we've… no… you pulled her out of someplace she deserves to be in- a place she earned.: Tara then straightened her back and stamped her foot down, "you want me to stay with you, Willow, then stop this. None of us have the right to…"

"I'm bringing her back!" Willow yelled at Tara who slightly flinched, "she never deserved to die! She deserves to be here! She deserves to be fighting the good fight! And I know she's yelling out at me to save her from eternal torture!"

"Lets all calm down a little," Xander said with his hands up as he looked at both a stunned Tara and an angry Willow.

At Xander's words, Willow's expression eased and she looked back down, "I need to do this Tara. With or without you, I need this."

"Then… then we need a break from each other," Tara whispered as Willow looked back up with eyes wide open in surprise, with Anya and Xander having the same expressions on their faces. "I love you, but what you're doing is… is something that I…" Tara then sighed while keeping her tears back as much as possible. But Tara was unsuccessful since she could feel her tears welling up, "I can't.. I…" Tara knew she was going to cry. She knew that she would want to run into the arms of her lover and say that she would stay, that she didn't mean anything she said. Tara knew, if everything played as it usually did between them, she would eventually support Willow.

'But I don't,' Tara thought to herself while feeling her body tremble with a need to run to Willow, 'how can I support this when it goes against everything I believe?' Tara forced herself to shake her head before she stepped back from the island. The need to run to Willow was so strong now, 'but I have to make a stand. She'll come to me… if she loves me as much as I think she does once I leave, she will know she's making a mistake. She'll come to me and decide not to go through with it, that we will continue the fight in Buffy's memory.'

"I.. I can't," Tara shook her head at Willow, "I can' t be a part of this." And then Tara walked out of the Summers home.

Now, two weeks later.

Tara turned to her side as she opened her eyes once again. She couldn't sleep at all… she hadn't slept well after the day she left. And Willow never came to her. Tara wanted to go to her girlfriend, but it took everything she had to stop herself from running back. Even with her things back at the Summers home, Tara still had some clothes in her dorm room where she stayed.

But Willow never came.

For the next two weeks after that meeting in the kitchen, Willow never came back to the dorm room. And with Willow ignoring her, Tara felt lower than she ever did after her mother died. Dawn came by the dorm room and knocked on the door, but Tara couldn't answer. There was a sharp pain in her chest when she thought about telling Dawn what Willow was planning. She would be so happy', but then Tara imagined the reaction when she told Dawn that it was wrong to bring Buffy back. 'She would hate me.'

Tara even thought about telling Giles about Willow's plan when he came calling, knocking on her door, asking if she was in her room, 'would he support me or Willow? I know he's worried about Willow as well, but this is about bringing back his Slayer. The daughter he never had. Would he hate me too if I tell him that it's wrong to bring her back?'

It was just then that she felt a tingling sensation go up and down her spine. She knew what happened…. She knew what that feeling was. 'Willow did it.'

And Tara feared for what would happen next. They broke the natural cycle, and there was always a price to pay for that arrogance.

TBC.