Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age, but writing about the characters can suffice for it.

A/N: So, here's the deal. I'm writing this duly for the fact I really, really wanted to...if only a few read it...that's fine...but I won't stop writing it. It's a new project of mine that I like too much not to write about.

Alistair covered his mouth and turned away trying to hide the blush crawling up from his neck onto his face.

"Alistair, are you blushing?" Her voice was sweet, like dew.

"No, my face is naturally this color," Alistair defended.

She gave a soft laugh, "That's not what it looked like prior to this conversation."

"I-I have no idea what you're talking about," Alistair dropped his hand from his face to cross his arms.

"Oh, is that so?" Her accent was silky and full of experience, experience he still didn't know where from it came.

"Yes, very," Alistair held his ground.

"I find that hard to believe," her tone had taken on amusement, "I specifically remember you bringing this conversation on, not me."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"You don't want to hear my answer to that question? Or are you too embarrassed by me finding out your answer to know mine?" She trailed a finger across the metal plates on his shoulder to stand in front of him, "But then again," she trailed it down the chest plate, "maybe I'll just keep it a secret." She turned sharply walking away from him, "Don't just stand there and stare, Alistair, we have places to be."

"I'm not staring!" Alistair called after her, but he couldn't help his eyes from lingering on the dark marooned haired woman with fair almost glowing skin as the sun burned high above them reflecting off their armor, "I'm admiring…"

"What was that?" She looked back at him with deep blue eyes and a naturally toned smile, "I don't think I caught that."

"I was talking to myself," he gave a half smile and jogged to catch up to her.

Once next to her she gave him a bemused look, "Talking to yourself is thought to be unhealthy."

"I was raised by dogs if you don't recall," Alistair pointed at her.

She took his finger, "And if I recall that went to a whole new subject on a matter of dreams and I caught you off guard…made you spill your past."

Alistair cleared his throat, "Right, yes…that I do recall."

Her eyes sparkled in the sun's gleam as she smiled brightly at him, "Did anyone ever tell you, you're cute when you're embarrassed?"

"No," his brow furrowed slightly, "I can't say I've ever heard that before. Are you going to keep my finger?"

She let his finger go and looked ahead keeping her smile, "Well you are. Same when you become awkward and nervous."

"I am neither awkward nor nervous," Alistair confirmed.

"Only sometimes," she shot a smile towards him making something in him flutter.

"Alistair, Raelyn, if you two are done having a little moment…could we possible carry on with our duties?"

What a dreadful women, Alistair sneered at Morrigan.

"Hey we did stop for a break, Morrigan," Raelyn spoke sweetly to the other woman as they neared her, "but I do suppose you're right. We should keep going. Onto Redcliffe, so we can find Arl Eamon…he will help us…" she faded off to look at Alistair, "Right Alistair?"

"Yes," Alistair nodded, "We have quite a hike a head of us; we might have to set up camp on the way."

"That's fine," Morrigan looked at him, "As long as we don't have to worry about carrying your dead weight around."

"Oh, Morrigan, leave him be," Raelyn giggled slightly, "He can't help it if he's not as strong as me."

"Strong as you?" Alistair lifted an eyebrow with a slight chuckle, "You wish you were as strong as me."

"Okay, fine. I challenge you to a dual when we set up camp," Raelyn challenged with a cocky grin.

"You're on," Alistair looked behind him to see Sten coming up by them, "You ready there Sten?"

Sten nodded, "Yes."

"Good," Alistair turned back to the two girls, "Alright, let's go."

Raelyn's eyes widened slight, "Horkin!"

"Leave the damn dog," Morrigan hissed.

"I will not!" Raelyn was about to walk off when a loud bark came from few feet away, "Horkin, here boy! It's time to go!"

The large Mabari bounded towards them barking happily; he came to a halt in front of the Grey Warden female.

Raelyn knelt down on one knee, "There's a good boy."

Morrigan made a small noise before turning on a heel to start walking; Sten following right behind.

"C'mon Rae," Alistair chuckled, "Let's go before those two leave us."

She looked up at him, "Would that be so bad?" Raelyn stood up slowly to watch the two walking away, "I know that we just acquired Sten, but I'm starting to regret taking either of them."

Alistair stared at her.

"I wouldn't mind it being just the two of us," Raelyn admitted, but Horkin barked next to her and she giggled patting his head, "The three of us." Finally she turned her sight on Alistair, "Or would you rather not have that?"

I'd wished for it since Flemeth told us to take Morrigan, "I think it'd be more fun, exciting, disastrous…"

Raelyn gave a half grin, "You're such the comedian, Alistair."

"Let's go you two! I thought Grey Warden were supposed to be fighters not gossipers!" Morrigan and Sten had stopped a few yards up to wait.

"We were contemplating leaving you out here to die in the wilderness!" Alistair shouted at her.

"Please, you two wouldn't last a day without me!" Morrigan yelled back, "We're wasting sunlight here!" She turned again to start walking.

Raelyn gave Alistair's arm a small pull, "To Redcliffe, then."

"To Redcliffe."

)()()()()(

Alistair stared at the fire lost in thought and worries, but his moment of wondering when he should tell Raelyn the whole truth was interrupted by mentioned girl as she thrashed about on her blankets. She sat up almost instantly and grabbed her head, "Those dreams are killer."

She looked up at him with surprise, "What?"

"After The Joining you start to have these terrible dreams," he looked back at the fire, "I have them almost every night…they linger for what seems forever before they finally vanish, but by then it's time to just fall back asleep and have them again."

"The dragon…"

"I'm not sure," he let his eyes drift back to her, "I already know your question and I'm not sure…no one is certain as to what the archdemon looks like."

"The Darkspawn were there."

"He was speaking to them."

"Drinking their blood caused for us to hear it too?"

Alistair brought his eyes back to the fire, "Yes." It went quiet and Alistair listened as armor clanked softly together, but it ceased and the presence of her sitting only inches away from him swarmed his whole being. He didn't look at her, afraid that he'd say something dumb.

"The Darkspawn took everything from me."

Alistair didn't say anything, afraid that she'd stop.

"My nephew, my sister-in-law, mother, father…and for all I know…my brother. All I have is Horkin," the dog's head snapped up at the sound of his name, but it dropped back down with the pleasure of seeing no danger.

"You have me," Alistair muttered.

"We have each other," Raelyn corrected.

Alistair turned his head to meet her gaze, "And Horkin."

Raelyn snorted looking at the fire, "And Horkin." She reached behind her head to make sure the two coils of her hair were still firm from all the thrashing, "I look like a mess, don't I?"

"No," Alistair gave a small shake of his head, "You look beautiful."

Raelyn snorted again.

"I'm serious, you do."

Raelyn turned those innocent eyes onto him, "Flatterer."

Alistair chuckled bowing his head, "As much as I can be…but no, I'm being serious here. You do look beautiful, be it the fire's glow, the full moon's rays, or the natural beauty you have…it doesn't matter because, to me, you look beautiful tonight."

"Do I normally not?" Her response made Alistair smile softly.

"You can be quite the distraction fellow Warden," Alistair confirmed and that's when he noticed the color forming in her cheeks, "Rae, are you blushing?"

"No," she looked away from him, "My face is naturally this color."

"It wasn't prior to this conversation," Alistair pointed out with amusement.

Raelyn looked back at him, "That reminds me…I never did tell you my answer."

Alistair waited quietly.

She inhaled, "I, too, have never licked a lamppost in winter."

Alistair's eyes widened, "Are you serious?"

Raelyn nodded.

Alistair huffed out a laugh, "I would've never guessed that."

"What is that supposed to me?" Her brow furrowed.

Alistair held up his hands, "No, wait I didn't mean it like that…it's just that…I would've thought you already had being as you're gracious, rich, and beautiful. You probably have a war hero waiting for you back home to marry."

"I'm not interested in heroes," Raelyn ignored the rest of it feeling as the topic would further embarrass them both, so she continued with the latter; "Heroes are brave, yes, but also reckless. No, I prefer the man who fights his way through evils for those he loves and cherishes closest to his heart…the ones who stand back to take the safest route for his fellow men. The route which will bring almost of all them back home, including him."

"Is there anyone like that in your life?"

"Ser Roland Gilmore."

"Oh, I see," Alistair tried his best to hide his disappointment, "Do you suppose he's waiting for you."

"I wouldn't think so," she looked at him with sad eyes, "He sacrificed himself when my castle went under siege; he sacrificed himself to make sure Horkin, my mother…and me got to safety. Chances are he's dead."

"I-I-I'm sorry," Alistair cleared his throat looking down, but then he got up swiftly, "I should probably get some sleep."

"Wait, Alistair," Raelyn rose to her feet.

"No, really it'll be good for all of us if I get some rest," Alistair started to turn, but Raelyn grabbed his arm pulling him to a stop.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No, no, I just hadn't realized how tired I was," Alistair forced a smile, "Honest."

Raelyn slowly released his arm to let him walk away.

Alistair did just that walking away from the fire, the warmth, and the tonic that quenched his heart. He stopped; I shouldn't just walk away like that. He began to turn back around when metal clad hands grabbed his face pulling it down to press his lips to the owner of the cold hands. He brought his hands up to rest on their arms and pull away, but he was met with fiery, warmth filled eyes, "Rae…"

Raelyn didn't respond and instead slid her right hand to the nape of his neck; her lips gently pressed back against his.

Alistair's left hand came up to cup the back of her head while his right pressed against her back; the added presence of her body flush against his, armor or not, made his lips deepen the kiss. The kiss scorched into his brain while his heart flared with things he could never understand…things he wouldn't understand till long later into the Blight.

)()~()~()~()~()(

When the silence beckons…

Alistair opened his eyes trying to come back to the present; trying to leave his memories behind as the grogginess of sleep began to wear off. He sat up slowly squinting his eyes shut.

"Your Majesty, are you alright?" Alistair turned his head to see an elf standing in the doorway holding a scroll.

Alistair nodded his head rubbing at his temple, "Yes, fine…just dreaming of the past is all."

"Well, alright then," the elf paused, "Is there anything I can get for you?"

Alistair thought about it for a moment, but finally shook his head, "No, thank you for asking though."

"You are quite welcome, sir. I'll leave this in your study sir," he left the doorway shutting the door leaving Alistair in silence.

Alistair stayed in his bed for a moment longer, but finally crawled out of the bed to find his Royal Armor. It didn't take him long to get dressed, and as he was pulling on his gloves the glass dome on his bedside table caught his attention…just like it did every morning for the past three years. Slowly Alistair walked over to it bending down to stare into the tall dome; inside was a glass hand crafted by a mage, but the hand held a fully bloomed red rose between its thumb and first two fingers. A rose which still looked fully alive after all this time, but magic wasn't only working the rose, it was also causing a steady fall of snow around the hand though it never collected at the bottom, but instead vanished into nothing. It was all a beautiful gift given to him by Morrigan only to hold that one rose in place, a rose with red blood stains on the petals that didn't show.

Alistair gently put his hand to the glass and the snow stopped to be replaced by a light rain, "Today has come again…" He stood up removing his hand watching as the snow started again; he sighed heavily turning away to leave the room.

"Ah, King Alistair," a nicely dressed man stopped him outside the door grinning, "I have a few people who would love to meet you."

"Not interested, Donnaci," Alistair walked past him, but the man stayed with him.

"But your Majesty…"

"I said no."

"It's for the greater good of the kingdom."

"No."

"If you'll just hear me out—"

"I don't want to meet anyone," Alistair came to a stop, "I have no interest in meeting anyone, do you understand me."

"Sir, I do, but—"

"Good," Alistair started away again.

"You can't let her stop you from being happy."

Alistair stopped walking, but didn't turn back.

"She's controlling you sir, taking away your life…"

"Please excuse me, Donnaci," Alistair didn't wait for a respond, "I have to go visit someone."

"She's been destroying you for three years!" Donnaci called after, but it was too late. The King had already left him in the hall.

Alistair hurried down the steps, past rooms, and more rooms to walk outside into the gardens. He slowed his pace to look up at the sky then at the multiple flower bushes; he stopped to pick a fully grown rose then carried on deeper into the garden where he finally came to a halt under a roofed area. He dropped to his knees to look at the rose, "Every rose I place here withers and dies; it makes me wonder if you ever actually know I put them there, but it won't stop me from coming out here every day to lie one." He slowly placed the rose in front a fairly sized stone then looked up at it, "Three years ago today…that's when…that's when I…" he trailed off squeezing his eyes shut, "Why did you have to do that?"

He opened his eyes again to stare at the text already etched into his brain:

Raelyn Nadia Cousland

Grey Warden, Friend,

& Queen

Never Forgotten, Always Remembered

"I miss you, Rae, so damn much," Alistair fell back to sit down, but moved to lean against the side of the gravestone; resting his head back against it, "Every day I live, I wish more and more you could be with me…Donnaci wants me to forget about you, move on, he says you're destroying me," Alistair chuckled sadly, "I can't forget you. I won't forget you. I want you here too much to do that."

Alistair brought one knee up and kept the other stretched out; he rested an arm on the knee and the other arm on his other leg. He closed his eyes, "I dreamt about you last night…I dreamt about the day you said to me that you wouldn't mind leaving Morrigan and Sten, the night you told me we had each other, the first time we kissed. It still bothers me that you made the first move," Alistair chuckled again opening his eyes and bowing his head, "I'm glad you did…but, God Rae, what I wouldn't give to kiss you one last time. One last kiss goodbye is all I ask, but time was never on our side…"

Alistair closed his eyes again and let out a heavy breath, "I just want you back, Rae…I want my one true love back…I want to hear you say those three words again…so I can say it back, but all I hear is this ever welcoming silence."

"You're making me depressed," the voice startled Alistair into opening his eyes, "Every single day you come out here and mope about; it's a dreadful thing to do as a King."

"What do you want me to do Morrigan?"

"Be a King."

"I am a King."

"One that sits by his dead never-to-be Queen," Morrigan hissed.

Alistair glared at her, "She was to be my queen far before we fought the archdemon," Alistair stood up, "You know that."

"You also know she could've lived," Morrigan spat, "She had that choice."

"It was both of ours," Alistair corrected.

"All you had to do was bed me," Morrigan's voice had lowered.

Alistair sneered, "I was willing to do anything to save her, but she…she didn't want me to do that. She didn't want—"

"To save herself."

"To have me go against her!" Alistair barked.

"You weren't going to go against her," Morrigan pointed out, "You were going to save her. It's not like you were going to stay a part of the child's life…but you too didn't want to do it."

"Because I was hers and hers alone," Alistair's heart twisted, "And she was mine."

"What about Zevran?" Morrigan asked.

Alistair's eyebrows met in deep anger, "There was nothing between those two."

"And you know this how?" Morrigan raised an eyebrow.

"She told him she had no interest in him and that her choice was me…she's the only one I've been with…and I'm the only one she's been with."

"Are you saying that you haven't been with another woman since?" Morrigan asked.

Alistair nodded, "My decision was to be loyal to her even in death…It didn't feel right to think of going to bed with you; she had thought the same thing, but she was willing to do it to save me."

"But you just told me that you both decided against it," Morrigan folded her arms across her chest.

"I know, and it's true. I think she knew one of us would die…" Alistair looked down at the gravestone, "She knew that one of us would be without the other…she wanted to me to go on; be King…lead the people. I wish I could change all of that…at least to hold her for one more day."

"Pathetic."

Alistair's face grew with anger turning back to her, "You wouldn't understand! Have you ever cared about anyone, but yourself! Have you stopped to give a damn about at least one other person! You have no idea what it is like to lose the one person you had left in the world, the one person who was there for you in the darkest of times, the one person who you would do anything for you, the one person you loved more than anything else in the world," his anger dissipated as he drew his attention back to the gravestone, "She came into my life a mystery, but from the moment we argued about who asked who first…I knew there was something about her."

"I think I'm going to puke."

Alistair sighed, "What do you want Morrigan?"

"I wanted to see if what Zevran was true about you pouting still."

"What do you want me to say, Morrigan? That I'm happy? Because I'm not," Alistair looked past the stone to stare at a statue that stared into the distance with long missed beauty, "She was everything."

"Do you think she'd want you to be like this?"

"She wouldn't want me to forget her."

"I didn't say that…you're not moving on, Alistair. That's what I meant."

"I can't move on."

"You have to or this Kingdom will fall."

"Leave me alone, Morrigan…unless you can summon her back to me, please just leave."

There was silence for a moment as the wind blew into the area, but Morrigan spoke, "I admired you years ago, Alistair. I admired you for the fact you rose up to be King even after she was gone…now, I don't know what to think of you. You've fallen, Grey Warden."

Alistair's breath caught at the words, but as he turned around to look at her she was gone. Alistair slowly brought his eyes back to the statue and stared at it…waiting for when the silence beckons…

A/N: If anyone made it this far...please review. :D