Just Smile…
A Cloud/Aerith Story
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you
Aerith laughed as Yuffie bounced around them all, pretending to steal their Materia. As she approached Red, he growled menacingly at her, and Yuffie back away, suddenly meek. Aerith laughed harder than ever, and though it was at her own expense, Yuffie laughed with her. Red rolled his eyes, but grinned slightly in his cat-like way. Barret and Cid grunted their amusement while Vincent merely raised an eyebrow.
Tifa and Cloud were collecting firewood, and had been doing so for nearly an hour. Aerith knew that they would be back soon, and tried to quench her uneasiness. Why should it bother her that Tifa was alone with Cloud? They were childhood friends, after all…And Tifa was Aerith friend too…
Tifa loved Cloud. Aerith knew that, it was obvious to anyone OTHER than Cloud himself. Tifa had been there first. What right did Aerith have to feel the way she did, to want and need and love Cloud the way that she did? If she had a choice, if she could choose for Cloud and Tifa to live happily together, would she do it? She didn't know.
Aerith was confused. She had never wanted anything so badly, never wanted another person by her side, never wanted her friend to be happy so much. Aerith was stuck. Tifa or Cloud? Tifa…Cloud….Cloud…
When had she fallen so badly for him? When he fell through the roof? When he agreed to the date? When he laughed and smiled, blue eyes shining beyond the Mako, happiness that she so rarely saw etched onto his face…
Yes, that was it. Cloud had a beautiful smile. That was when it had happened, when she had felt her heart pumping wildly fit to burst, her eyes locked with his…that was when she had begun to fall in love with him.
And now it had run its course. She loved him, needed him so much that it killed her inside when he went away, when he suffered.
And she would continue to love him, as she had never loved Zack, even if he went to Tifa. But that wouldn't happen for a while.
Aerith could wait, just for him.
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
"Tifa! Cloud! Didja get all the firewood?"
Yuffie's cheerful voice drove Aerith out of her thoughts to see the ever stoic Cloud and a thoroughly miserable Tifa beside him. "Tifa?" Aerith questioned, frowning at the nearly tear-filled eyes of her friend.
Yuffie noticed too, frowning as well, but Tifa just gave a watery smile, said, "Everything's fine," and dropped her pile of wood onto the ground before storming into the tent that she shared with Aerith and Yuffie.
The group turned its attention to Cloud, who shrugged and dropped his pile too. "Nothing happened," he said, looking slightly confused as he eyed the gently swinging flap of Tifa's tent. "She's just been miserable."
There was a small pause before normal chatter broke out.
"So, food comin' up soon? If we have rabbit again I'm gonna upchuck…"
"Who's takin' the watch tonight? Red an' I did it last…"
"Where we headed next…?"
Aerith stared at her male companions in disbelief.
"Aren't you going to find out what's wrong?"
The men paused. Cid shrugged. "She'll be fine tomorrow, who cares if she upset because of some girly hormones or somethin…"
Yuffie blinked, "What if something's like, REALLY, REALLY, bothering her? Aren't you gonna ask?"
The others shrugged.
Aerith and Yuffie exchanged exasperated glances.
"Men…" They muttered, shaking their heads.
As one, Aerith and Yuffie stood and went into the tent they shared with Tifa.
It was evident as soon as they walked in that Tifa had been crying. They could smell the saltiness of her tears; hear the almost inaudible sobs and choking breath.
"Tifa…?"
Tifa's head shot up, gazing at them through red-rimmed eyes. "Sorry," she choked out, gasping and wiping at her eyes. "I'm just b-being s-silly…" She gave a watery chuckle, hiccupping. Aerith and Yuffie sat down beside her.
"What is it Teef? You know you can tell us…" Aerith soothed, wrapping her arm around Tifa's shoulders. Yuffie nodded, gently patting her hand.
Tifa shook her head. "It's nothing important…" Seeing the way her friends still held her, Tifa could not keep it in.
"It's Cloud…" Her voice was trembling. "I…He…I just…he doesn't care for me…the way that I…care…for him…" He voice trailed off.
"Did he say that outright?" Aerith asked, frowning slightly.
Tifa shook her head. "No…I didn't ask him outright…But…I just thought, that maybe…if I could get him to smile…I would know that he…cared… for me…"
Aerith's frown increased.
"Tifa, what would him smiling prove? I mean, he's not the most cheerful person, but it's not as though he never smiles…"
Tifa and Yuffie gaped at her.
"What are YOU talking about, Aerith?" Yuffie asked as though fearful for her friend's sanity. "Cloud NEVER smiles, like, EVER!"
"As much as I hate to say it, Yuffie's right. I haven't seen Cloud smile since we were kids…" Tifa said, mopping her eyes again.
"But…that can't be right…" Aerith murmured. "I've seen him smile…and laugh…" She was met by stunned silence. Looking up, she saw that Tifa had frozen in mid-wipe of her eyes and that Yuffie's mouth was hanging open.
"When? When did that happen?" Tifa asked, moving closer, a rather curious expression on her face.
"Not long after we were properly introduced…he was taking me home after an encounter with the Turks…he made a joke and I poked fun at him…and we, well, laughed." Aerith confusion was increasing. Was Cloud smiling really such a rare event?
Tifa slumped back, a rather deadened look in her eyes. Aerith's eyes widened…did Tifa think…
"Tifa…" She began, only to be cut off by a wave of a hand.
"It's alright. I kind of resigned myself to defeat when you came in anyway. I guess this just really proves it. Just…make him happy, okay? And have a good life with him…"
Tifa gave a faint smile, turned over, and curled up in her sleeping bag.
Yuffie frowned at the lump on the floor that was Tifa, before shaking her head. "I think she'll be okay, eventually…at least she's admitted herself to the inevitable…see ya later, 'Rith…" She marched out of the tent, leaving Aerith to her pressing thoughts.
Why had she never noticed before? Now that it was in her face, Aerith found it painfully obvious. Why had she never noticed that Cloud hadn't smiled once during their journey, other than that one time in Midgar?
She tried to imagine it, going that long without smiling. Aerith smiled and laughed everyday, and she couldn't even begin to grasp what it was like not to do so…it just didn't make sense! How could you not smile, when you were alive and had people that cared for you? How could you not look at your life and merely be thankful for the miracle of living? How could Cloud not see what was right in front of him; the friends and companions that would give their life for him, and he for them? How could he not look at the wonderful people around him, at Tifa, Yuffie, Barret, Cid, Vincent, Red, and even Cait Sith, and smile because they were alive, well, and beside him?
It was something Aerith couldn't even begin to comprehend.
How could Cloud not smile and be happy at the many things he had…?
Well, there was one way to find out…
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just… smile…
"Cloud…?"
He stood like a sentinel, moonlight reflecting off his golden hair, casting the rest of him in shadow. He turned at the sound of her voice.
"Yeah?" He was wary, as always, yet did Aerith truly see, for the first time, the softness of his eyes and voice as he spoke to her? Or was she just seeing what she wished to see…?
"Why…are you so unhappy?" She moved closer, so that she stood beside him, hands clasped behind her back.
Cloud frowned, his eyebrows knitted together. "What do you mean?"
Aerith sighed. "You…never smile or laugh…why are you so unhappy?"
Cloud's frown deepened. "I…don't know. I'm not…unhappy. I'm just not…happy either…" He sighed and scratched the back of his head. "I guess…I just don't really have much to smile about…"
It was Aerith's turn to frown. "What do you mean 'nothing to smile about?' You have tons of things to be happy about!"
Cloud raised a dubious eyebrow. "Like what?"
"That you're alive, for instance. You have friends and people that care about you. You're young and strong and you have the will to succeed. You have Tifa, Yuffie, Barret, Cid, Vincent, Red, and even Cait Sith…and…" Aerith trailed off, blushing slightly. "You have me, too…"
Was it her imagination, or were Cloud's cheeks darker than before?
Aerith squared her shoulders, marching so that she stood before Cloud, praying that her determination didn't fail her. Looking him straight in the eye, she said, "Go on. I'm waiting."
"Huh?"
"Don't play dumb with me, mister. Go on, smile."
"Why…?" Cloud said, in his attempt to interject some sense into the conversation.
"I already went over why, don't make me repeat myself." Aerith was beginning to get exasperated. "Remember what I said, and smile."
Her voice got softer as her eyes locked with his. "Come on, Cloud. Just...smile…"
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
Cloud thought, his eyes focusing on Aerith's as he heard her words play in his mind. Maybe you're right, Aerith…
I've got Tifa…
Even with her annoying tendancy to know something he didn't, and her constant reminder of his promise…
I've got Yuffie…
Even if she tries to steal our Materia all the time…
I've got Barret…
Though THAT'S really something to be happy about…
I've got Cid…
Who proves time and time again just how many curses he knows…
I've got Vincent…
Who I've heard say all of about two words…
I've got Red…
A talking fire-cat better than no one I suppose…
I've got Cait Sith…
Riiight. I'm not even touching THAT one…
And I've got you, Aerith…
And I always will…
Cloud stared into Aerith's beautiful eyes and felt himself caught up in her, everything about her, like a drug. He breathed her in and got high off her very existence…Aerith was just…Aerith…and she was here with him today.
Maybe he DID have something to smile about after all…
And so, Cloud and Aerith stared into each other's eyes as smiles grew across their faces like sunlight chasing away shadows. And at that moment, they both held the hope in their hearts of the future, of the lives that they wished to have, together…
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just… smile…
I couldn't resist doing this once I got the idea. I like it, though I think I still prefer my other Cloud/Aerith one-shot More Than Words. Check it out if you haven't already. Song: Smile by Nat King Cole
Anyway, Reviews make me smile inside )