Disclaimer: Not mine. Woe, thy name is Scribbler!
A/N: Character study, but also Speedy/Bumblebee. Unashamedly so.
Facts of Life
© Scribbler, August 2007.
There are things Speedy knows about Bumblebee that he doesn't share with anyone, not even Ollie when he can be bothered to call. They're things he's picked up over the time he's worked with her and the rest of Titans East, but also things he's learned by talking to other people and Paying Attention.
He knows that one on one, no powers or weapons, she can kick his ass until it's a brand new shape.
He also knows she never would.
He knows she cares deeply for her team, far deeper than perhaps even Robin does for his, but she's never mollycoddled them and she's definitely nobody's mother.
Sometimes, when he can't sleep, he hears her go down to the gym and beat the crap out of the punching bags there. He knows she's beating up the person she used to be, before she got smart and left HIVE for the Titans.
He knows she'd rather rip off her own arms than admit to that.
He knows she sometimes stands in front of the mirror asking her reflection if she's growing a beard from living with so much testosterone, and he wants to tell her she's more at risk of losing whatever gentleness she has left because she's still trying to prove something to Cyborg and it's killing everything that isn't The Leader of Titans East.
He knows she'd throw herself into battle against impossible odds for the sake of the job, for what being a Titan stands for and making it mean something.
He knows she'd lay down her life for the sake of a teammate, because living in a cesspit like Steel City has made then closer than friends, even if sometimes (most of the time) they could cheerfully choke each other.
He knows she'd kill him if she caught him staring up at her boobs while flying him from place to place.
He knows he was pissed as hell when she made Aqualad second in command, and that's more about him than her, but he's still trying to figure out if she meant it when she said she chose fish-boy because he's more dependable. He certainly knows that since that day he's been trying to prove her wrong, because being here, doing this, in this place and with these people is one of the few things he sincerely doesn't know how to be ashamed of.
He knows the one time they all tried to go out for dinner in civvies she looked the most uncomfortable of everyone, and not just because of the wings.
He knows she can smile with just her mouth, and how to recognise a genuine smile because it starts in her eyes and never reaches the set of her shoulders or the cant of her hips.
He knows that when they got separated by Control Freak in Jump that time, and she grinned after punching the guy's lights out, that she'd never be happy in a normal life.
He knows that sometimes, when she's being stubborn and glaring at him with her I'm Leader So Shut Up and Do What I Say face he'd like to kiss the expression right off it.
He knows she might be horrified if she knew that part.
He knows she'd find new ways to hurt him if he thought of the word 'vulnerable' in the same context as herself.
He knows her real name.
He knows he'll probably never call her by it.
He knows what Ollie would say to that.
And Speedy also knows he'll never tell anyone just how much he knows.
Fin.