He doesn't hear you. You don't blame him.
Gakuto tilts his head in confusion.
'Sometimes I can't understand you, Yuushi,' he mutters, scarlet locks colliding at the shake of his head.
You push away your text book, tired of watching him over the blurred lines of macro economics. 'An answer is not either true or false; it can be both true and false,' you repeat.
He rests his chin on the stack of books and rolls his eyes. 'I don't think they'll accept that answer on a nationally standardized test, but I'll keep it in mind.'
You hope he does.
You touch him a lot. It's a game you play with yourself. Balancing desire against restraint. Learning to keep physical contact within his comfort areas. You touch his hands, his shoulders, sometimes you can even brush the palm of your hand across the flat of his stomach. You can touch him more when you win, the general euphoria of winning causing him to leap into your arms. You purposely over balance him, so you can grip tighter. Lining your bodies together, thigh to thigh, chest to chest… and for a brief moment, everything in between. You like to win.
He doesn't see how much you touch.
The others see.
Their quiet frowns and concerned glances make you anxious. You know what they are thinking. Only one confronts you.
Surprisingly it's Shishido. It isn't that he holds any acute affection for Gakuto, he's effected by the similarities he sees between his situation with Ohtori and your situation… which of course is misinterpreted. He warns you off your path of coercion. You're impressed. Not many stand up to you. At the same time you're disappointed, because he has revealed his own fear.
Shishido doesn't understand. Gakuto must make the connection himself.
You're collecting. Cataloguing Gakuto. The twist of his lips, the pull of his frown. You're watching the emotions in his face, in his body. Becoming an expert on everything Gakuto. So that when the time comes you will know.
That at the moment of realization he will give himself away.
That when he finally catches the scent of your arousal, the shift in touch from friend to lover… you will sense the moment of revelation in the stillness of his frame and the quiver of his skin. The ripple of enlightenment revealing the truths and the falsehoods, you have been practicing together.
But until that moment you have enough… enough for both of you.