You were there when half of the biggest question of her life was answered, unravelling so quickly that her normally grounded feet seemed to be tugged from beneath her. You were there to remind her to eat, and to remind her that you would fight for the truth, that you would fight for her.
You were there when she was lost, not knowing the meaning or sound of her own name, you were there to remind her that you knew just who she was.
You were there when her world seemed to tumble down around her, when the thick sticky blood that coated her apartment floor seemed to scream the unthinkable. You were there to catch her in your arms and reason with her irrational fears.
You were there when her family abandoned her again, left her wondering if she was ever supposed to know what it would feel like to be normal. You were there to reassure her that there was more than one kind of family, that you wanted her to consider you a part of hers.
You were there when her hand grasped through the dirt and gravel, clinging to you as though you were her lifeline. You were there to remind her that she was alive, desperately dragging her into the world again.
You were there to see the look of relief that passed over her features when your psychiatrist denied the sexual tension between you both, and though that look haunted you for a few days, you were glad that your dynamics hadn't changed.
You were there to see the guilt eating away at her, when the words that she had written seemed to come to life. You were there to let her know that it wasn't her fault.
You were there when what appeared to be her only chance of a normal relationship sailed into the distance, when she battled with her heart and her head to make the right decision. You were there to assure her that there would be a time for you both.
And you are here now, standing at the altar, wondering why you are thinking about all of the times that you were there. You wonder where that time that you had promised her had disappeared to; you wonder how you managed to miss it, because you are certain that you had never taken your eyes off of the prize.
As you look towards your seated friends and family, you wonder why she isn't there. An overwhelming feeling of sadness threatens to consume you and your gut begins to turn almost violently, you're beginning to realise that this is wrong, you shouldn't be here, you should be standing next to her wherever she is... Your feet are itching to run because your whole being is telling you that by being here, you're not there...
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I know I know... it's a weird strange thing that popped into my head, like it or hate it... I just needed to get some of it out.