Summary – Loosely based upon the song 'Behind Closed Doors' by Rise Against. This story is a collection of one shots showcasing the experiences of the WWE Superstars on the road, backstage and 'behind closed doors'. They're real human beings; this is what they go through.

Authors notes – The one shots in this story will be linked together by Shawn Michaels, who is playing narrator basically – Shawn is experiencing an out of body experience of sorts; he can see everything that is going on, yet no one can see him. Everything Shawn says will be in bold, including any lyrics from the song and will be at the beginning of every chapter – flashbacks in italics. Each chapter is titled with an emotion, which will hopefully give you a heads up on what will happen in the chapter.

Disclaimer - The scenarios involving the Superstars are entirely fictional and in no way real; they are simply real life situations that the characters have been put in for the purpose of this story. I own nothing, or none of the Superstars in the story. I don't own the song ' Behind Closed Doors', and I don't own Rise Against either

Reviews and feedback are welcomed, flames included. Enjoy.

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Fear

"Champions. When they step into that squared circle they feel invincible. On top of the world, they can do it all; win or lose, they rise above injury, illness and fatigue to put on a show. But what happens when the lights dim and the crowd goes home? They're just ordinary people. They laugh, and they cry. They experience loss and they feel pain. For roughly 300 days a year they are away from their loved ones ... they confide in each other and become family ... This is their story ..."

Quiet laughter is heard as Billy Kidman perches on the edge of the bed his wife is lying in. Stroking her small hands in his, he gazes down upon her fondly. Her face is covered by an oxygen mask, her usually bright eyes tired and empty. The sparkle that could found in her smile was long gone; just like her golden hair that had fallen out slowly with the chemotherapy. Torrie Wilson is hidden behind a maze of wires and machines but she's as beautiful now as she was the day they first met.

It was only five minutes before that Dr Norton had uttered the words that would haunt Billy forever.

"It's back ... we thought the surgery had been a success but we were too late ... the cancer has spread."

Tears had streamed down his face as the reality of the doctor's diagnosis had sunk in.

"I'm sorry ... but there's nothing else we can do ..."

When hope is non-existent ...

Now, Billy had to break the news to his wife. Shuffling closer towards her, he bent over, and kissed her lightly on the forehead. She smiled briefly, but the smile failed to reach her eyes. He had bad news, she knew. She could read Billy like a book, ever since they had first met backstage at WCW.

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"Victoria, this is Billy Kidman. You'll be his valet this evening, and if we like what we see, possibly his manager." Ted Turner said, nodding at Billy as he turned to leave. "Kidman, take care of her out there."

Billy stepped toward Torrie nervously. She was gorgeous, a fool could see that. "Uh ... hey. I'm Billy."

She smiled back at him, amused by the little shake in his voice as he repeated his name, even though she'd heard it moments earlier. He was bright red, obviously embarrassed by his behaviour.

"I know," she smiled lightly, sticking her hand out to shake his in greeting. "I'm Victoria, but you can call me Torrie, I don't mind. It's nice to meet you." She gave him another once over, taking in his shoulder length hair and his chocolate brown eyes.

Billy moved closer, grasping her hand between his. He seemed entranced by her smile, and was still a bit flustered. He mentally slapped himself, knowing that he had to come back down to earth and regain his composure if he was to have any chance with this women. He pressed his lips to her cheek, surprising even himself with his forward behaviour. Blushing, he dropped her hands and stepped back. "It's nice to meet you too," he muttered, eyes falling to the floor.

Torrie raised a hand to her cheek, savoring the touch of his soft lips against her cool skin. "Ah .. well I guess I'll meet you at the Gorilla before your match so I can walk you to the ring right?"

He shuffled his feet, still looking at the floor. He needed to get out of there, he was mortified by what he'd done. His life had always been about wrestling; he never went to his senior prom, never had a serious girlfriend. But there was something about Torrie, he just couldn't put a finger on it.

"You know, if you want, I can ask Ted to put you in a storyline with someone else .." he stuttered.

"No, don't do that," she half yelled. "This is fine."

He glanced up, and noticed her flushed cheeks. Had she felt it too? The spark, the chemistry that had flowed between them for the mere seconds they'd touched? "Really?"

"Really." She grinned. There was something about this boy ..."I can't wait."

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"Torrie?" She shook her head slightly, shaking away the cobwebs of her daydream. Billy smiled down at her sadly. "I've been calling your name for the last five minutes Tor," he joked. "Where did you go?"

"Just thinking," she rasped, her voice weak. She coughed; it was hard enough breathing behind the oxygen mask, let alone speaking. "Of the first time we met .. how I fell for you the moment I met you." She tried to tighten her grip on his hands, showing him that she cared, but she didn't have the strength.

Billy choked back a sob. She was making this so much harder, without even trying. How do you tell the women that you promised to love and cherish for the rest of her life that she's going to die? How do you tell her that she has to say goodbye to her husband and her six year old daughter, that she'll never see her daughter grow up? Never get the chance to watch her first dance recital, never see her graduate? He felt the taste of blood in his mouth, mingled with the taste of salty tears. Continuing to bite his lip, ignoring the pain and the blood on his tongue, he reached forward and gathered his wife up carefully in his arms. She was a shadow of her former self, bones protruding from her taut skin. Her figure was gone, but her fighting spirit was still there.

Our instincts all scream "Run"...

She slowly lifted her head to meet his eyes, and was met with a look of pure fear. "Billy, what is it?" she rasped.

The pain in his eyes was unbearable, and she wanted to be able to make it all better ... but she didn't know just how much he was hurting ... and she knew that whatever it was, this was one thing she couldn't fix. Tears gathered in her eyes and as they flowed freely down her cheeks she clung to her husband. He held her to his chest, thumbing away the tears that were now mingling with his own. Taking a deep breath, he began to speak. "Babe, do you remember when Taine was born?"

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"Goddamnit Torrie, push!" Billy cried, standing beside her bed. She had been in labour for over fourteen hours now, and Billy had been beside her every step of the way. There was an eager bunch of WWE Superstars crowded in the hallway, the guys wincing every time Torrie yelled some obscenity at her husband. "You're cutting off the circulation in my hand!"

"Don't you tell me to push! This is all your fault! You put me here in the first place! The pain you're feeling is nothing!"

"Me! I never saw you objecting!"

"Alright Torrie, I need you to push one more time, one more big push!" Dr. Norton said with a massive smile across her face. Torrie scrunched up her face with concentration and pushed, gripping onto Billy's arm with all she had. "That's it! I can see a head! One more push!"

"C'mon Tor, you're almost there," Billy said softly, using his free hand to push her hair back from her eyes." You're doing an awesome job."

"It hurts so much," she cried, teeth gritted together. "I can't do one more push."

"Tor, you can do it, I know you can. You are giving me the greatest gift - becoming a father, the father of our baby - and I promise I will do everything in my power to love you both so much it hurts."

"How can you make that sort of promise when you haven't even seen the baby yet?" She panted, trying to gather the strength to push one more time.

"Because I love you so much that I would die for you, and if our baby is even the slightest bit like you, I know that it won't be a problem." She stared at him, taking in the glowing expression upon his face, the smile that reached his eyes full of love. She knew he was telling the truth.

"I can do this," she said to herself. "I can do it."

And she pushed.

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"Of course I remember," she whispered. "I could never forget the birth of our baby girl."

Billy sighed heavily."Do you remember ..." he paused, heart breaking as he tried to find the right words. "Do you remember when I said you were giving me the greatest gift of becoming a father?"

She glanced up at him, not needing to say a word. There was an unspoken connection between them so strong that he could tell what she wanted to say without her having to say it. "I lied."

Her eyes found his again, pleading with him to explain himself. He obliged, holding her closer so she couldn't see his face if he broke down. "The greatest gift you could have ever given me is you. Taine is a part of that, but you have given so much of yourself to me, that I could never ask for anything more. You've been here through my ups and my downs, and you never ask anything in return. You're a part of me, and I carry you with me wherever I go ... " He trailed off, words failing him. How could he explain to her how he felt? How he would always feel? How he had felt since the day they had met, and the first time he'd said those three little words to her ...

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She stood on the apron cheering as Billy pinned Juventud Guerrera to claim his first WCW World Cruiserweight Title. As the referee held Billy's hand high in victory, she stepped through the ropes and handed him his belt. He stared at the title, excited beyond belief. He'd done it. His first Championship. Lifting his head he saw Torrie standing there shyly. They'd been dating for about a year now, it was no big secret. The fans knew it, and they ate it up. He grinned, and opened his arms to her. Spinning her around, he gently placed her down on her feet and gestured for a microphone.

She looked at him, a question in her eyes. He smiled, before capturing her right hand in his. "This has been a phenomenal evening. A title win, and this beautiful women by my side. Do you all agree?" He asked the crowd, who responded with cheers and catcalls. Torrie blushed as he continued. "Only one thing could make it any better. We all know that Torrie and I have been dating for over a year now. I have just one thing to say. Victoria Anne Wilson .. you complete me .. I love you ."

Torrie stared back blankly. She knew how hard it was for him to say those words .. and for him to confess his love for her .. for the first time .. in front of all these people ..

Billy froze, the little boy of a year ago rushing back; what if she didn't love him? His eyes met the mat, his wrestling boots suddenly riveting. Before he even realised what was happening, Torrie was kissing him hungrily, running her fingers through his hair. As they came up for air, she touched her nose to his, staring him directly in the eyes. "I love you too."

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"Billy?" She asked softly. Shaking himself out of his stupor he glanced down to see her smile brokenly. "I'm dying, aren't I?"

"What? Torrie, why would you say something like that?" He was openly sobbing now, and she knew that was it.

"Sweetie, you don't need to protect me," She coughed. "We both know I'm not getting any better. I saw you talk to Dr. Norton, and I saw you crying." She summoned what little strength she had left to reach up and caress his cheek. "You don't need to cry for me. I'll always be with you ..."

He shook his head harshly. "Tor, don't say that! Don't talk like you're going to leave me! I can't live without you!" He was bordering on hysterical; his wife was going to die and she was okay with that! He heart broke even at the thought.

"Billy. If it's going to happen, it'll happen. I won't be in any pain anymore. You'll be okay .. you'll move on .. " She was growing weak in his arms. He began to lay her back down, but she protested. "No, I want to be near you. I want to be able to touch you, and smell you..." Her tough facade began to collapse as her tears spilled over her cheeks and pooled on her hospital gown. "Billy ... I'm scared."

"Oh Tor." The single look they shared spoke volumes. She was terrified, and she knew that he felt the same. Together they'd shared this sickness; Billy had held her hand during chemo, and helped her cut her hair before it had all fallen out. He'd sat with her and Taine for hours when she was too tired to move, and held back what little hair she had when her therapy made her sick. Billy had lovingly washed her face, kissed her insecurities away and made her feel like she could be anything. But right now he felt like he was dying inside, the life being sucked out of him.

"I want you to leave," she said quietly. "I don't want you to see this ..." His eyes widened in shock. That wasn't even a possibility.

We never turn our backs or even bite our tongue...

"I took a vow, Torrie. I'm not leaving your side no matter what. I only wish it was different .. maybe if you never got into wrestling you wouldn't have taken this path ..." He was rambling, his emotions getting the better of him.

She smiled weakly, losing the will to continue. "Don't you ever regret what we had. Don't forget me, and don't for a second blame yourself for this. I love you with all my heart, and there isn't a thing I would change about our time together. If I had to live this life a million times over I wouldn't change anything. Because you would be with me and that would be all I need ..."

"I love you Victoria Anne Wilson," he sobbed, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. "I will love you until the end of time .. Everyday I will live for you ..."

Time escaped them as they lay there, holding each other ferociously, neither one wanting to let go.

Hours later, a sad little six year old girl bounced through the doors of the Memorial Hospital, eager to see her mummy. She raced up the stairs before her grandmother could stop her, bounding through the doors to her mums room before stopping dead. Daddy was holding mummy in his arms and she was coughing, crying out in pain. Taine Kidman walked slowly over to the bed, knowing that her mummy was going now, and that she wouldn't be able to see her for a long time.

"Hi mummy," she said hopefully, waving a painting in Torrie's direction. "I drew a picture for you to take to the angels."

Billy started to cry as he spoke to his daughter. "Come and give mummy a hug Taine." Taine hesitantly climbed up on the bed, not wanting to hurt mummy anymore. Torrie weakly opened her arms for her baby to snuggle inside.

"Mummy going away now?" Taine asked sadly, not really understanding. Torrie nodded, tears flowing. "I love you mummy."

"I love you too Taine," Torrie spluttered. "Mummy will always be with you ... if you ever need to talk ... or share your secrets ... look inside your heart ... and I'll be there."

"Daddy and I love you forever," the little girl said as she started to cry. Billy smiled through his tears at his baby's innocence.

"Mummy loves you forever too ..."

Torrie's eyes began to close as her mother came in and gently took Taine off the bed and out of the room. Billy gathered Torrie up once again and held her close, smothering her forehead with kisses.

"I love you Billy," she whispered.

"I love you too ..."

Although we have no obligation to stay alive


On broken backs we beg for mercy, we will survive


(Break out) I won't be left here


Behind closed doors.