SURVIVOR: THE UNRELEASED SERIES

Opening Sequence!: Here's your instructions, boys, now go friggin do something constructive.

Somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, probably somewhere near the Titantic or something, I dunno, the beginnings of what would perhaps turn out to be the stupidest game-show...island...thing...was just starting to be put into motion. The cogs were turning rapidly, probably a little too fast to be considered safe. The government would not stand for this. Nor would the media, for that matter, which is why this season never aired. Maybe. Another reason is that when they fired me I took the camera and film. That wasn't really a good piece of judgment on my part.

Anyway, so back to the ocean. Actually, it was an Island. Yup, definitely an island.

When our private jet crashed there, I hadn't expected anything fantastic. In reality, and don't tell the producers I said this, I was pretty damn pumped. I'd been taking survival classes since I was four, not to mention my seven years experience of filming for people like Bear Grylls and Jeff Probst-whom can both be argued as the biggest idiots to ever have walked this Earth. Stupidity seems to follow me everywhere I go. But I was prepared for tragedy, and by tragedy I mean our plane crashing on a beautiful island plucked right out of some fanciful dreamer's fantasies. I thought I was home free. As long as I could ditch the rest of the crew, that is.

Until I realized that this had been part of the plan all along. See, the channel's producers are constantly trying to figure out ways to pull in more viewers. I have to say, they really out-did themselves this time around. I mean, crashing us-the crew of the show-onto an island where another plane had already crashed hours before? Pretty genius. If I were a humorous guy, which I'm not, I'd be laughing my ass off.

My ass has yet to fall from my body.

So instead of laughing I pulled my mangled body from the wreckage that was once our privately owned flying device and grabbed a camera, as was expected of me to do. Naturally, Jeff was already on his feet. A swarm of other camera men quickly followed the set example, and soon we were a swarm of humming equipment.

"Pretty cool, huh, guys?" Jeff smiled. Feeble conversation and agreement followed, but in my mind I was growling: no. "So, here's the thing: there's some dudes on the island, we're gonna go do our thing, get some good footage, cool?"

Still no, but I had to nod anyway because a hefty paycheck depended on it.

"Okay, so through these bushes...is someone rolling?!"

"Yes, sir." I droned.

"Good...uh...man. Let's go. You follow me." He ordered. Great, he forgot my name again.

"Yeah, sure." I did as said and double-checked to make sure I had enough film. Yup. good, I guess. Jeff gave me the signal that we were about to do the TV thing and I hefted my too-big camera into a more stable position on my shoulder.

"Hello everybody, and my name is Jeff Probst!" He started his spiel, walking backwards through the charred leaves and snapped twigs form our landing. How had we recovered so fast? Was any of this even possible? What the hell was going on here? Just more questions that would have to be answered later. "You're probably asking yourselves what we have in store for you this time. Well, we don't actually know either! So, just stay along for the ride with us on this season of: SURVIVOR!"

I gave him the thumbs up to stop doing the thing and he sighed and started walking normal again.

"Cut?" He asked.

"Yeah, sure." I shrugged.

"Cool, I thought my hot was about to sweat off."

"What." I stated. Not a question, but a statement. Meaning: I have no idea how that statement related to any of this.

Suddenly, we broke through the trees and onto a glistening beach. I squinted my eyes and lowered the camera. Geez, it was bright out here. the shadow in my vision that once had been Jeff continued to walk forward, then came to an abrubt stop in the center of a slab of pink rock. Other shadows whirled around him, and there was much muttering, but I couldn't make anything out distinctly. Someone asked something along the lines of: Do you think we could eat him? And someone else said: no, I bet he'd taste like sour cream and digital media. Another kid mentioned that he looked a lot bigger on TV and I almost lost it, camera and all.

"Greetings, little boy children!" Jeff called out; from the sound of it, he'd pulled out the ol' megaphone. That was never a good thing. Not to mention he was terrible with kids, so if these really were 'little boy children', we were in some big trouble here. "My name is Jeff Probst, and national television sent me here to make your plight look amazingly appealing to the majority of adults encountering their mid-life crisis and people who's mediocre lives are in need of fantasy-fuel!"

"Big words, big words, blah blah blah." This red-haired kid mocked, making little motions with his hands to symbolize Jeff talking. My vision was beginning to clear up, and I could know see that he was one of many in black cloaks and caps.

"He's got a megaphone!" Some black-haired hooligan rose up from the gaggle of boys and pointed madly, "EAT HIM!"

"For the last time, Roger!" The red-head shot back, "We're not eating him! Look, he's barely edible!"

"Says you!"

Argument broke out in their midst. The dark-haired kid tried to bite Jeff's arm and soon enough the host was pulled into one of the many skirmishes. He motioned wildly for me to switch off the camera. I rolled my eyes and obliged.

This was going to be a long season of bullshit.

Dewd, I'm back.

So, this is the prologue. Next Episode the boys get to tough it out and build their own little shelters, not to mention pick teams.

I've been gone a while, haven't I...sigh. This always happens after I finish a big project... *slaps self* There, I deserve that.

Big shout out to all my Epic Party Time REviewers, Followers, readers, and all. You guys are awesome.

Also, I realize that this should probably be in the crossovers section, and if that is a problem just tell me and I'll move it over there pronto. But, I've posted two stories over there (One that means an immense amount to me) and nobody ever looks at them. It's like a friggin ghost central station over there.

So, yeah. Just tell me if this is a problem, to any of you rule-dewds who watch for that kind of disorderly conduct. I promise I'll do as ordered, if it comes down to that...sorry for any trouble in advance.

Also, to any readers of The Lovely Little Monsters and Clue And Note, those are still ongoing. Well, C&N only has one chapter left, but whatevs. I'm about 2000 words into that. I'll post it later tonight. Most likely. And also the next chapter for LLM. I'm really behind.

So, yeah.

WRITE YA LATER.