I haven't written any fanfiction in ages but I've had this idea for a while so I thought I'd finally get round to writing it.

All of my other fics are named after songs so I thought I'd do the same with this one. This one is named after a David Bowie song.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but that's the point of fanfiction anyway isn't it?

Be My Wife

It was a late afternoon in the middle of November and a grey sky hung over London. It shadowed over 221B Baker Street where the world's only consulting detective was slouched in his arm chair. His parents were sat on the sofa on the other side of the room. The detective stared at the ceiling as his mother rambled on about another dull subject. Or at least he assumed it was another dull subject. He had stopped listening ages ago as his mind started to think about more important matters. Now his mother's voice had become a faint background noise. He started wondering when his pathologist friend would arrive with the eyeball he had requested for another experiment. He wasn't working on a case at that time so he had to find a way to amuse himself somehow. He then realised that the faint background noise had come to a stop. He turned towards his parents. Both of them were wearing the same facial expression, they were expecting an answer from him. The detective stared at them confused.

"Is there something you want to tell us, Sherlock?" his mother asked.

Sherlock looked even more confused.

"Something important?" his father added.

"No…" he answered.

His mother's face dropped into a frustrated expression. "Oh for goodness sake, Sherlock, I don't know why you won't just tell us! Well it doesn't matter because we already know about it anyway. It just would have been nice to actually hear it from you".

"You already know about what?" Sherlock leaned forward in his chair.

His mother's eyes widened in disbelief.

"You're engagement" his father answered.

Now Sherlock's eyes widened just like his mother's. "What?! What engagement?"

"It was in all of the newspapers" his father continued.

Sherlock relaxed again as he realised what they were talking about. "Oh, that engagement. Well you're both mad at me for no reason becau-"

"You're right we shouldn't be mad, we should be happy and we are" His mother interrupted him with a smile on her face.

"Yes, we can't tell you how thrilled we are" his father added as he took hold of his wife's hand.

Sherlock tried to explain again "Yes, well actually the whole thing was a scam-"

"Who is she? We'd love to meet her!" his mother interrupted again.

Sherlock was about to talk again but he stopped as a distracted expression fell across his face. "Wait, it explained the whole scandal in the papers. How can you know about the engagement but not know the rest of the story? Somebody told you didn't they. Who was it?" During his speech Sherlock had stood up and was now facing the mantelpiece. "It was Mycroft wasn't it. He told you because he knew you'd come here and ask me pointless questions. He knew it would annoy me". His tone was bitter as he spoke more to himself than to his guests.

"Now Sherlock, do not bring Mikey into this. I will not have this happy announcement ruined by your stupid sibling rivalry". His mother's tone reminded Sherlock of his younger days when he and Mycroft would always be told off for arguing.

"You should bring her to our house for Christmas dinner" his father suggested, trying to change the subject.

Sherlock let out a frustrated moan as he spun round to face his parents. "No, the whole engagement was just-"

"Just in time. I agree, me and your father were just saying the other day how we would love to have grandchildren soon". His mother exclaimed with an overly excited expression.

Sherlock was just about to loose his temper when he looked at his mother and noticed the bright smile that was stretched across her face. He knew she'd be disappointed but she had to know the truth. He took a deep breath. "I know you're both ridiculously excited but you need to listen to me".

His mother opened her mouth to speak but Sherlock flashed a quick 'stop' signal with his hand. "There's been a misunderstanding. The whole point of the engagement was just so I could break into-". He stopped as he noticed the confused and deflated look on both of their faces. He usually didn't feel guilty or sorry about anything but he had always hated disappointing his parents. He was about to continue when he heard Mrs. Hudson opening the front door downstairs.

"Oh, hello dear. Have you come to see Sherlock?" his landlady's voice floated up the stairs.

"Hello, yes I have something for him" a smiley voice answered.

Sherlock had never been happier to hear Molly's voice. Yes, a distraction! Maybe by the time Molly's gone they'll have forgotten about the whole thing. He thought to himself.

He smiled slightly as he heard her footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Sherlock, I got you another eyeball but please don't drop it in tea this time because-". She stopped as she entered the room and noticed his guests. "Oh, sorry, I hope I'm not interrupting something" she said shyly.

"No, you got here just in time" he smiled at her.

"Oh, ok. Well here you go then" she passed him a brown paper bag which was not the ideal place to put a human eyeball but it was the best she could do at such short notice.

As Sherlock took the bag from her he noticed his mother smiling at something. He followed her gaze to Molly's left hand. Why is she smiling at Molly's hand? He then noticed Molly's engagement ring. Oh no. She thinks…that Molly…and I…are… He suddenly had an idea. It was a bit extreme but he needed an escape from his parents' tedious questioning. Besides, he was Sherlock Holmes and he was used to being extreme. "Molly, these are my parents" he gestured towards the couple on the sofa.

"Hello" she smiled.

"Mum, dad this is Molly…" he took a deep breath "…my fiancé" he flinched slightly as he said the word.

Now Molly's eyes widened as she turned to face him. "What?!" she whispered.

Sherlock leaned down to give her a kiss on the cheek and sneakily whispered in her ear. "Just go with it, I'll explain later".

"It's very nice to meet you" his mother smiled at her.

"You too" Molly replied with a dazed tone.

Sherlock gestured Molly towards a chair before walking into the kitchen and placing the eyeball in the micro-wave. He came back and sat in the chair opposite Molly.

"Why don't we sit on those chairs so the happy couple can sit with each other" his mother said to his father.

"No, it's fine. We're alright here" Sherlock sighed.

"It's no bother, I don't mind" his father said as he stood up. His wife then stood up with him and they both walked over to the chairs. Molly and Sherlock looked at each other and awkwardly walked over to the sofa. They sat at each end like book ends. Sherlock's mother looked at them suspiciously. After noticing this look Sherlock took hold of Molly's hand and intertwined their fingers. Molly also noticed the suspicious look and moved closer to Sherlock so that her side was pressed against his.

Molly and Sherlock spent the rest of the afternoon improvising. They answered his parents' questions with made-up stories about their first date, the proposal, their plans for the future etc. Although she was still confused as to why all of this was happening, Molly actually started enjoying herself. The made-up stories were actually quite comical and everyone was constantly laughing. Even Sherlock was laughing. It could've been just part of the act but Molly felt like his laughter was genuine. Maybe he was secretly enjoying himself too.

Their laughter was interrupted by Mrs, Hudson's entrance. "Sherlock, I just needed to ask-". She stopped as she saw the smiles on everyone's faces. "Oh, what's everyone so happy about?" she asked, joining the smiling party.

"The engagement!" his mother answered.

"Oh Molly's engagement to-"

"Me" Sherlock said quickly. That was close.

Mrs. Hudson's smile dropped as her expression merged into a very confused one. She looked at Molly and Sherlock's hands locked together. She wanted to say something but she was speechless. She looked as if she was going to faint. A smile suddenly found its way back to her face. "That's wonderful news!" she exclaimed. Without another word she rushed out of the room and back downstairs. Sherlock rolled his eyes. Great, now she's going to go and tell John and Mary.

"So when can we expect grandchildren?" his mother asked.

Molly and Sherlock both looked uncomfortable. Molly blushed at the thought of her and Sherlock having a baby. She blushed even more at the thought of her and Sherlock making a baby. Imagine that….No, stop it Molly, you're engaged…to someone else! She thought to herself. Just then she looked towards the window and noticed that it had gotten dark. She stood up. "I should go, Tom will be wondering where I am!" she froze as she realised that she had just mentioned her real fiancé in front of her fake future in-laws. What a farce! She thought.

"Who's Tom?" the father asked.

"erm…my…nephew! I'm supposed to be babysitting him tonight" Phew! "Well it was nice to meet you both" she smiled at the couple as she made her way to the door.

"You too, dear" the parents replied in perfect unison.

"Well aren't you going to give her a kiss goodbye?" his father asked Sherlock.

Without saying anything Sherlock walked over to Molly and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Don't mind us, give her a proper kiss" his mother said.

Sherlock rolled his eyes and slowly leaned down towards her. His lips caught hers in a soft, tender kiss. They both became surprisingly relaxed and the kiss ended up being longer than Sherlock had intended it to be. He pulled away and both of their cheeks turned pink.

"Goodbye then" Molly's voice was quiet as she turned and left the room.

Sherlock watched her as she disappeared down the stairs and out of sight.

"She's lovely" his mother smiled.

"Yes" Sherlock replied still staring at the stairs where Molly had just disappeared. His voice was quiet and hazy. He cleared his throat and turned to his mother who was sitting in his chair. "Can I have my chair back?" he asked.

Later that evening Molly was sitting on her sofa, watching the TV. Tom was fast asleep beside her. Her eyes felt heavier every time she blinked. The world kept plunging into darkness as she drifted in and out of conciseness. She finally gave in and rested her head on Tom's shoulder. Just then a loud noise brought her back. She opened her eyes and saw that her phone was lit up on the coffee table. She looked at Tom who was still asleep. Molly grabbed her phone and read the new text message.

'Sorry about earlier. Thank you for going along with it. – SH'

Molly decided this conversation would be better over the phone rather than through text. She stood up and walked away from the sofa as she scrolled through her contacts.

"Hello, Molly" he answered.

"So why was I pretending to be engaged to you today?" she spoke quietly so that she wouldn't wake Tom.

Sherlock admired her for getting straight to the point and explained the whole situation. "Again, I'm sorry for dragging you into it" he apologised.

"That's ok, I actually had a really good time. And your parents are lovely"

"That's easy for you to say, you didn't grow up living with them"

Molly laughed. "But they're just so…"

"Ordinary?" he finished her sentence.

"Yeah" she laughed and heard him chuckle on the other end. "But what do we do now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well I can't actually marry you just to please your parents"

"Fake wedding?"

"Sherlock, no" she said playfully.

"I'll tell them the truth…at some point" he smiled as he heard Molly's quiet laugh. "I should go, I've got some explaining to do to Mrs. Hudson"

"Ok then, goodnight Sherlock" she smiled.

"Goodnight"

Molly laughed as she hung up. She placed her phone back on the coffee table and sat back next to Tom. A smile stretched across her face as she stared at her engagement ring. She grabbed her phone again and sent a text.

'It was really fun being engaged to you. – Molly x'

Sherlock was about to go downstairs and talk to Mrs. Hudson when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. His fingers tapped away at the screen and he smiled as he pressed the 'Send' button. He put the phone back into his pocket and left the room.

Molly's phone buzzed from the coffee table again. The screen lit up her face as she read the text.

'It was quite fun, wasn't it. – SH'

Molly put her phone down and looked at Tom who was still fast asleep and completely oblivious to everything. She reclined on the sofa and closed her eyes. Her lips twitched into a smile as she thought about her fiancé (but which one?).

I think you know which one ;)

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it.