Disclaimer: I don't own Rookie Blue or "What Hurts Most" by Rascal Flatts.
A.N. Just a random idea that came to me – now I'm on a quest to write song fics for Rookie Blue.
Italics = thoughts
Hope you enjoy!
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me
Sam drove home after shift, not in the mood for a drink at the Penny. The rain came down slowly, softly. If fit his mood perfectly.
He parked his truck in front of his house and stepped out. Here, outside in the rain, he could finally let a few tears go. In the rain, even if someone saw him, no one could accuse him of crying.
He was mad at her, and hurt, there was no denying that. How could she do this to me?
Today, after shift, he overheard Nash and Epstein talking about going over to help McNally move in with Callaghan.
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do
He had been so close, so close to telling her how he really felt about her. The night of their undercover op when he saw the relief on her face, he almost kissed her. Then he saw Callaghan. Seeing the man was like seeing Andy walk away from him. While she was with Luke, he would never know what could have been between them.
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
Everywhere he went, he thought about her. Even that day when they received their evaluations and he was partnered with Peck, he constantly thought about "his" rookie. She asked for them to be friends that that had worked for a little while. But now, now it would be a forced smile every time she spoke to him. How was he supposed to get up and get dressed in the morning, knowing he was going to run into her? And, she hid the fact that she was moving in with her boyfriend. They were partners. Why didn't she tell me?
Even Jerry was fairing better than he was. Jerry was at least acting civil to Traci and trying to help her even though everyone knew she was salvaging everything for the happiness of her son. Everyone who met Dex didn't think it was going to last. But Jerry would be there for her when everything crumbled.
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
What hurt him most was that she didn't trust him enough to tell him, although truthfully, she probably didn't want to hurt him. And, like Jerry, he would be there for her when everything else crumbled.
When Luke finally showed Andy McNally that he was a workaholic and really did go through a rookie a year (probably because he was married to his job) Sam would be there for her, he would show her that she should not have walked away and that he loved her.
Her line from their undercover op was what kept him going: "When you meet the right one that's it, you just get that feeling, right?"
Yes! He got that feeling when she busted into his room on her first day on the job, now it was up to her to realize the truth in her words. He would push off going to another unit until she realized.
A.N. Loved? Hated? Please Review!