Colors: A Comparison
A comparison. Lily/James, sort of.
AN: Hey, this is the companion/sequel to my one-shot Colors: A Change of Style, if you haven't read that yet, I highly recommend reading it first, for context and such.
This story is dedicated to a friend of mine, who turns 13 years old today (28 February 2010).
Happy Birthday, Katrina.
Disclaimer: uijlnmkipjlomikj. I own nothing, except perhaps the keyboard I just face-planted into a couple times.
Important AN (28 February 2010): Sorry, puce isn't the color I was actually thinking of, it was supposed to be an ugly, dark, olive-colored, vomit-colored shade of green. Which looks nothing like puce. Sorry. Let's pretend I knew what I was talking about, and anytime you see the word puce, please substitute it with the aforementioned shade of green. Thank you! (Thank you, lilylilly, for pointing this out)
"Well, Padfoot, that wasn't that bad, now was it?" James said, as he plopped himself down on his bed.
"Are you kidding me?!? It was terrible!" Sirius was practically in hysterics.
Remus just laughed at him. "C'mon, it wasn't THAT many girls!"
"No, it wasn't! I was rejected by three girls today!! THREE!!! Today just doubled my total of rejections!" Sirius cried.
James frowned. "You've only been rejected six times?"
"ONLY?!? That's huge, mate!"
James glared at him.
"Oh, yeah, sorry..." Sirius looked sheepish.
Remus rolled his eyes at the two of them and changed Sirius and his clothes back to normal.
"Thanks, buddy!"
Sirius turned to James, who was still frowning.
"So, what is it now? Two hundred times? Three hundred times?"
James shook his head sadly.
"Five hundred? Eight hundred?"
James shook his head even more slowly and sadly.
"A thousand? Come on, it can't be more than a thousand."
James shook his head so slightly it was barely noticeable.
"Really? How many times?"
"Two thousand, one hundred, ninety seven times, Padfoot."
Sirius' jaw dropped and Remus looked appalled.
"NO WAY!"
James nodded slowly. "She's rejected me two thousand, one hundred, ninety seven times."
"Wow. Just...wow. That makes my six look like...five."
James glared at Sirius.
"Okay, maybe four. The point is, very few."
James sighed exasperatedly.
"Oh, c'mon, Prongs, why do you keep trying?"
"I love her, Sirius."
"Oh, no," said Remus.
"What?"
"You and Prongs are going to start arguing over Lily again. I really don't need this. I'm going to go to bed. Good night." And with that, Remus went to bed.
"So why do you still chase her?"
"I. LOVE. HER. How hard is it to understand?"
"Okay, okay, relax, I just wanna know why? Is she really worth all this pain and misery?"
"Y'know, Pad, sometimes I think about that. And I think, 'No, she's not worth it, I need to move on.'"
"And then?"
"And then I see her face again, and think, 'Forget it, I'll wait forever.'"
It was now Sirius' turn to sigh exasperatedly (AN: I have no idea why anyone would take turns sighing with their best friend).
"But, Prongs," he whined, "she's not even that good-looking!"
James glared at Sirius, then smiled wickedly.
"Well, you weren't too good-looking earlier, now were you? How would you like to relive that?"
"No, thanks," replied Sirius shortly.
"It's awfully funny," James mused, "how much color matters."
"What do you mean?" asked Sirius hesitantly.
"Well, just that, you--with yellow robes and an ugly shade of green and a bright shade of red--look terrible."
"Thanks, mate."
"I mean, yellow goes great with puce, which goes great with...well, anything. And you'd think the contrast between the opposite colors of green and red would be nice, y'know?"
"I guess...what are you trying to get at?"
"Well, the first bit was sarcastic, but the second part made sense."
"Yes, I suppose," replied Sirius warily.
"My point is, even though you technically had all this contrast stuff going for you, you looked terrible."
"Okay...are you just trying to insult me more?"
"No. I was making a comparison."
"A comparison?"
"Yes. With you, the red/green contrast absolutely fails. In fact, it makes you look worse."
"Well, who can pull off a red/green contrast?"
"Lily, of course."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Why didn't I see that coming?"
"On you, red and green look terrible--stick with black. But with Lily, red and green make her look like a goddess."
"Hey, may I remind you that the 'red' you put on me was actually neon pink, and that the 'green' you put on me was actually puce?"
"So?"
"So of course Lily would look good in red and emerald when I look bad in pink and puce!"
James shook his head stubbornly. "No, I think she would still look good, even in your pink and puce combo."
"Mate, that's just because you love her."
"No, it's completely unbiased."
"Is not."
"Is too."
"Is not."
"Is too."
"Is not."
"Is too."
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"IS NOT!"
"IS TOO!"
"Shut up, both of you!" Remus yelled from his bed.
Sirius and James both looked up, surprised.
"I thought you were asleep!" said Sirius.
"Were you listening the whole time?!?" cried James.
"Yes and no," Remus replied. "I was asleep--until that last 'IS NOT!' (Sirius looked away sheepishly)--and I was not listening the whole time. What were you two arguing about, anyway?"
"Lily," said James.
"Naturally," Remus said as he rolled his eyes and yawned. "What was it this time?"
"Prongs says that Lily would look good even with pink hair and puce clothes, and I think it's completely biased, and he said, 'is not,' and I said, 'is too,' and he said--"
"Okay, I get it, Sirius!"
"Point is, Padfoot just can't accept the fact that Lily looks better than him in any shades of red and green."
"No! The point is, you're obsessed with Lily!"
"Am not!"
"Are so!"
"AM NOT!"
"ARE SO!"
"SHUT UP BEFORE I HEX YOU BOTH!!" Remus roared.
James and Sirius shut up.
"Now, listen, why don't you just put Lily in pink and puce and see how she looks. That way you will be able to settle your argument," Remus said, regaining his patience.
Sirius sat up excitedly. "That's a great idea! Let's do it now!"
"No, Sirius, everyone's asleep and you can't get into the girls' dormitories, remember?"
"Oh, right. Well, it's still brilliant! How 'bout first thing tomorrow?"
James looked doubtful. "I dunno...."
"What's the matter, Prongs? Scared to lose? Are you yellow?"
"Sirius, I haven't heard anyone call someone 'yellow' since the last time I watched Back To The Future III," Remus said.
"And, as I seem to recall, you were the one with yellow robes today, Pads," James added.
"Well, are you chicken, then?" asked Sirius, completely unfazed by these comments.
"NO! It's just that...I'm kinda scared."
"Of what? Losing?"
"No. Of Lily."
"What do you mean?"
"You know how she is when she gets mad."
"Oh, yeah."
There was silence for a few minutes.
"Maybe we could charm all reflective things so she wouldn't see the color change?" Sirius suggested.
"Nah, too many reflective things, it would take waaayyy too long, and if we missed one, all that work might be for nothing."
"Oh, yeah. Forget it."
"Why don't you two just man up and do it? What's the worst that could happen?"
"She'd make the way I looked today worse. And she'd make it all permanent!" Sirius whined. "Oh, and she'd never go out with James," he added as an afterthought.
James nodded. "Padfoot's right. And she'd probably castrate both of us for good measure."
Remus rolled his eyes. "Chickens," he muttered.
Sirius' eyes widened. "Nobody. Calls. Me. Chicken," he said slowly, softly, and dangerously.
"Yeah!" James added. "We're Gryffindors!"
Remus rolled his eyes again and turned away to hide his smile.
"Whatever. I just thought that, maybe, you two super-brave Gryffindors would be able to handle the wrath of a girl. But if you're too chicken--"
"We'll do it," interrupted Sirius.
"Yeah! I mean, we will?" James backtracked, bewildered.
"Of course. We're not afraid of anything. Especially not the wrath of some girl. And especially not the wrath of Lily Evans!" Sirius declared.
"Yeah..." James agreed weakly, paling at the thought of Lily's wrath.
"Good," said Remus, suddenly very businesslike. "So, first thing tomorrow morning, then?"
"Of course," said Sirius firmly, as he and Remus shook hands.
Needless to say, James had very many nightmares that night.
-----
The next morning, true to their word, James and Sirius turned Lily's clothes puce and her hair bright pink.
They were not seen for the rest of the day.
On the up-side, though, Sirius' and James' predictions of Lily's punishment were all wrong.
Sirius' clothes and hair were not altered, and he was not castrated.
Obviously, Lily eventually did go out with James, and if she had castrated him, there would have been no Harry Potter.
In other words, James was not castrated.
At the end of that day, though, Sirius had to agree with James.
Lily did look alright in hot pink and puce.
Which is why, although he should have learned, Sirius changed Lily's clothes to puce and her hair to neon pink again.
And by clothes, I mean dress.
And by dress, I mean wedding dress.
On her wedding day.
Right after, "You may kiss the bride."
James saw, in that split second before he closed his eyes to kiss her, Lily change color.
But he was much too happy to be marrying her to care (and he thought she looked adorable anyway).
Lily saw, in that split second before she closed her eyes to kiss James, in the reflection of his glasses, herself change color.
But she was much too busy kissing James to care.
The two of them were married now. They were more of a team than ever, even as sweethearts or Heads.
So, naturally, being a married couple, they had to do everything together, including:
Having children.
Raising those children.
Arguing with each other.
Fighting Voldemort and his Death Eaters.
Dying.
And, of course, punishing Sirius for his blatant disregard of wedding fashion sense.
I don't really know how I feel about the end there.
This was much longer than I meant it to be, but I kinda liked it.
Please review, thanks for reading, hoped you enjoyed it, and have a great day!