Mike's fingers trail along the walls of the foreign room. It's his now, but it doesn't feel like it. This place doesn't feel quite right. The room is too small, the people too unfamiliar; all except one who is sitting silent on his bed as he travels around the cozy room, inspecting his new surroundings. He doesn't like it. This isn't home; it's actually very far from it.
His hand drops and he stares at the door for a moment, left ajar after his parents left them alone, just for the last few minutes before…He shakes his thoughts and pushes the door shut slowly, the click of the lock breaking the terrible silence in the room. He takes a moment to collect his thoughts, but they are too many to hide them all away behind a brave smile. So he lifts his gaze, the fear he's feeling no doubt shining through his brown eyes as they meet hers.
God, he never gets over how beautiful she is. Though somber and avoiding his own, her eyes draw him in as always, the dark orbs having a magnetic effect on his attention. He finally plucks up the courage to walk over to her, slowly and carefully. The distance is closed between them after a short time and with no hesitation, Mike's fingers lace around Tina's, fitting perfectly like every time before.
He stands in front of her, his knees against the side of his bed that she is sitting on, her legs dangling off the sides and swinging nervously around him. Her fingers tighten around his and he practically feels her emotions running through him. It hurts; not physically, but emotionally; to feel the grip she has on him. Her head stays down, avoiding his concerned gaze, and he knows what lies under that veil of dark hair that covers her beautiful face.
"Hey," he murmurs, his soft tone nearly inaudible. He squeezes her hand again and uses the other to push her hair away from her face. As soon as he does, he sees the tears leaving small trails down her red cheeks, eyes shut tight, and her lips pressed tight together. He swallows hard, realizing how much harder this is than he anticipated. He's imagined the worst outcomes so many times, but this hurts more. She's crying on his behalf, on their behalf, and there is no way to stop it. There is no magic words, no sudden fix. This is it.
Instinctively, Mike closes the gap between them, his lips meshing to hers perfectly. The feeling never gets old; the one when he kisses her and he feels everything else fall away. All the worries, the fear, the uncertainty; they are nothing for those moments when his lips move easily with hers, the act so simple yet so powerful at the time. He doesn't know when he's going to kiss her next. When will he hold her again? Feel her fingers looped through his own? He doesn't know but he'd do anything to.
Mike lets out a shuddered breath as his emotions press forward in his mind and the absence of her mouth on his physically hurts. He closes his eyes and envelops her in his arms, feeling her arms wrap around him as well. She's shaking in his arms and he feels her face bury itself into the curve of his collar. He doesn't want to open his eyes, in fear of crying when what this is truly hits him.
It does after a short time embracing Tina. The simple things he took for granted came to mind first; kisses, hugs, those lingering glances, dinner dates, and dancing for her. And then the big things come next; birthdays, anniversaries, family events, those hard days when all that could help was her.
"I love you so much," he says, his voice muffled as he presses his lips to her forehead, his eyes still shut tight. What are you supposed to do without the love of your life? Without them by your side, comforting you, supporting you, loving you? How do you survive thousands of miles away from the only person whose kiss could make everything better, if you could only experience it just one more time? He swallows again, letting out a small, shaky cough as he tries to collect himself, but he can't this time.
"I love you too," he hears Tina mumble, her voice as unstable as his own. "Don't forget me, please."
Her words hurt. How can she ever think he can forget her? But he knows she's just worried, as is he. He doesn't know what's ahead of them; what other hardships will get in the way, what other ways things could separate them. But at that thought, he knows what he needs to say.
"I will never forget you, Tina. No matter what comes our way, no matter what happens, we're in this together, okay?" He pulls away from her slightly, just enough to meet her eyes again. They are brimming with tears, staring up at him helplessly. He gathers his courage and looks at her more intensely. "I love you and we're going to get through this."
A knock on the door causes Mike to jump and he feels Tina as well. He turns his head towards it and sees his mother standing there, a somber smile on her face. She doesn't have to say anything; no one does really. It was time to go. There's no more wasting time, no more 'one more minutes' that turn into half hours of alone time, no more stalling. This is goodbye.
Mike feels Tina break slowly from their embrace and lets him walk over to his mother. He wraps his arms around her in an attempt to comfort himself, but it doesn't work. His mother's hug only makes the fear and anxiety more prominent. He hold tighter and curls into his mother's hug.
"I love you, sweetheart," his mother coos, rubbing his back a little. "You'll be home again before you know it."
She pulls away from him and Mike feels the small amount of composure left in him draining from him. He nods weakly at his mother and she smiles lovingly at her son. He sees his mother's gaze turn to Tina who is standing behind Mike meekly, her eyes set on her boyfriend.
"It's time to go," his mother says quietly. "I'll be in the car with your father."
Her goodbye is an indicator that they have limited time left and Mike doesn't want to rush this, but they are there now. He has to let her go at some point.
He wastes no time in walking up to her and kissing her again, holding her tighter and kissing her deeper this time around. He wants to remember the feeling of her mouth pressed to his, the way her body curves to his touch; he wants to remember it all.
"We're going to be okay, Mike," she says in a trembled voice, her lips brushing against his own as she speaks. "I'm going to visit, we'll Skype and call and text and…and…" her voice trails off and it pains Mike to be at a loss for words. "I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you," she repeats, diving in for another kiss.
They stay there for a while in a close embrace, murmuring loving words to one another, until Mike knows the clock is running out. There is no more. Without a word, Mike takes her small hand in his own and leads her out into the dormitories hallways. He closes his door behind them, his name taped on it along with his new roommate, and locks it before beginning to walk towards the exit. He sees his parents parked outside, the SUV's lights lit up and the motor humming quietly. He turns to Tina and holds on to her hand for a moment longer before dropping it slowly.
"Call me," he says simply. "I'll be waiting." He gives her a sad smile and opens the door for her. He swallows hard as she steps out of it, but before it closes, she swoops up and gives him one last kiss.
"I will."
She jogs away from him, her dark hair billowing behind her as she makes it to the car. The door closes behind her and after a wave from his mother and a beep from his father, Mike is alone and he feels it as he walks back to his room.
There is no comforting hand to hold, no girl to kiss, no parents to get guidance from. This is what he wants but it doesn't feel like it anymore. He wants nothing more than to be in that car with them, Tina sleeping quietly on his shoulder as they drive the long way back to Lima from New York. But he wasn't and he isn't going to be any time soon.