Hello! This story has been rated M for some language. 10 Year olds will still read this regardless of rating because the site has no way of stopping the little ankle biters. I'm sure you've no idea who I am, but I am an aspiring writer who fails horribly at all attempts he makes. I wish this could've been longer, but the game really has more potential for alternate universe (lol) storytelling than anything else. I will work hard on the second chapter (also the last chapter) and have it up as soon as possible, if you all happen to like this one of course. On with the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

After a hard day of slaying heartless, Sora, Donald, and Goofy went to Destiny Islands to rest. "Wanna chill out over at my house?" asked Sora. Donald and Goofy nodded and went to Sora's place. When they arrived, however, they found lots of other people there. "What is everyone doing there? It's not my birthday you know." said Sora. "I'll take gifts though." he mumbled after.

"We know." deadpanned Kairi. "I was cleaning up the house and I found this." She held out a small DVD box, in which was labeled Kingdom Hearts: Behind the Scenes. Sora looked at the box.

"Back stage shit?" he said puzzled.

"Yeah." said Riku. "It looked good, so me and Kairi invited everyone over to watch it." Sora jumped on the couch and put his arm around Kairi.

"This isn't going to turn out like the last DVD we found that ended up being mislabeled and turned out to be my- I mean some random guy's American Idol audition tape is it?" he asked.

"No, we checked this time. Though seeing you sing the Spice Girls was pretty fucking hilarious." laughed Riku while Sora tried to contain his rising blush. Key word tried.

"Anyway, what the hell are we waiting for? Roll that thing Riku." Sora said. Riku nodded and popped in the DVD.

Kingdom Hearts: Behind the Scenes

(Scene where Riku is being absorbed by the darkness.)

Riku: But I'm not scared. I'm not afraid of the darkness. (Darkness begins to swallow him.) WHAT IN THE! HEEEEEELP! (Now crying.) SOMEONE HELP MEEEEEEEE! GET ME OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE!

Director: Cut. Ok someone get him out of there.

The director then starts to smell something funny.

Director: And can someone from wardrobe get him a fresh pair of pants?

End.

Everyone cracks up laughing. Riku didn't find it funny at all. "Hey you would cry too if you got swallowed by a black hole."

"Wuss!" Leon shouted from the back of the room.

(Scene where Donald and Goofy are walking to the Gummi Ship)

Goofy: Oh I got ya. While we're in other worlds we can't let on where we're from. We gotta protect the world order.

Donald: Border. Huh… Wait a sec.

Director: Cut! Take 2.

Goofy: We gotta protect the world odor.

Donald: (Sighs.) It's border Goofy, boarder!

Director: Cut! Take 3.

Goofy: We gotta protect that thing I'm supposed to say. (Donald trips and falls down the stairs.)

Director: CUT!

End.

Everyone is laughing while Donald puts his hand on his forehead.

(Scene where Sora is in the secret place at the beginning of the game.)

Hooded Figure: This world has been connected, tied to the darkness. Soon to be completely eclipsed. (Meanwhile Sora is looking around in the darkness for the cloaked man.)

Sora: Hello? Anyone there? Hello?

Director: He's behind you Sora.

Sora: Well I can't see him, it's fucking dark in here.

Director: Cut, ok let's try it again.

Take 2

Hooded Figure: This world has been connected, tied to the darkness.

Sora: Who's there? Where are you?

Then Sora feels a hand on his shoulder and panics and runs into the wall.

Director: Cut! ANSEM!

Ansem: Ok, ok, sorry. Let's do that again.

Take 3

Hooded Figure: This world has been connected, tied to the darkness.

Sora: Who is that? Who's there?

Just then Sora felt his pants get pulled down. Riku had just pants'd him.

Sora: RIKU! I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR THAT!

Sora turns around and tackles Riku and starts wrestling with him. Riku was laughing all the while.

End.

Sora looks at Riku who is trying to suppress his laughter. "Ok Riku. I can take a joke." Said Sora calmly.

"Good." said Riku. "Because it isn't over just yet."

(Scene where Sora, Donald, and Goofy meet Riku in Traverse Town.)

Riku: So, this is the keyblade?

Sora: Hey! Give that back!

Riku: Here, take it.

Riku magically threw the keyblade back to Sora, but it appears behind him and hits him the back of the head, and knocks him out.

Director: RIKU!

Riku: What? You act like it was my fault.

End.

"You bastard." Sora mumbled under his breath.

(Scene where Sora, Kairi, and Riku are running down the beach.)

Sora, Kairi, and Riku are running down the beach, when suddenly, Riku puts his foot out and trips Sora making him eat a mouth full of sand.

Director: RIKU!

Riku: (Defensively.) He tripped himself.

Sora: I did not! You tripped me!

Riku: Come on! With feet that big how could you not trip?

End.

Back in the house everyone is in stitches. Sora is red with anger, but Kairi feels sorry for him.

"Don't worry Sora. I'm sure you're not the only one they make fun of." she said. Just then, Riku cut in; "You're right Kairi. You're in here too."

(Scene where Sora is looking at the drawings in the hidden place.)

Sora is looking at the pictures of him and Kairi in the hidden place. Sora has the flashback, but when it comes back to the present, he has drawn a mustache on Kairi's picture.

Director: SORA! Hey that's pretty good.

Sora: Thanks. I should be an artist.

End.

(Scene where Sora is a heartless and Kairi is hugging him.)

Sora, as a heartless, runs to Kairi, and she reaches out and hugs him. Sora transforms back into a human, but suddenly farts.

Kairi: SORA! Come on! That was disgusting!

Sora: Oh give me a break. Heartless can't fart and I've been holding that in since lunch.

End.

(Scene where Kairi and Sora are near Kingdom Hearts, at the end of the game.)

Sora: Kairi!

Kairi: Sora!

They run towards each other, then the ground shakes. Instead of catching her however, Sora misses and Kairi falls into the endless abyss. Just then, Pain and Panic appear at Sora's side.

Panic: She isn't gonna be happy when she gets out of there.

Pain: If she gets out.

Sora: If. If is good.

End.

Back at the house, Kairi glares at Sora. No one speaks, afraid they might set her off. "We are going to have a talk about this later." said Kairi very strictly. Sora frowns. "I'm sorry Kairi. I've been a bad boyfriend." he said, and Kairi looks back at him. "Don't even try it." she said, and Sora muttered 'Damn' under his breath. "You two are so cute when you fight." said Riku, but Kairi smiled evilly. "Now come on Riku. Did you really think that you were really left out of the fun?"

(Scene where Riku and Sora are on the bridge at Destiny Islands.)

Riku: Sora! Here, catch.

Riku tosses the Paopu to Sora.

Riku: If two people eat it their destinies become intertwined. I know you want to try it, don't you?

Sora: (Excitedly.) YEAH I DO! (Swipes fruit from Riku.) Kairi! Come here and try this.

Riku chases after Sora.

Riku: Hey! Come back here! I wanted to try that with her!

Director: Cut!

Take 2

Riku: Here catch! (Tosses the fruit to Sora.)

Sora: What the…? (Sora hit's the fruit back to Riku and it hits Riku in the head.)

Director: SORA!

Sora: What? The thing could've killed me!

Take 3

Here catch! (Tosses the fruit to Sora.)

Sora catches the fruit, then smiles evilly.

Sora: Here Riku!

(Riku turns around, and Sora tosses the fruit back to Riku, and it hits him in the nuts. Riku makes a face of extreme pain, then falls off of the bridge into the sand.)

Director: SORA!

Sora: I didn't do anything.

End.

(Scene with Maleficent and Riku in Traverse Town.)

Maleficent: See? He traded you in. Tossed you aside and simply replaced you.

Riku frowns, but then feels a hand on his ass.

Riku: What the hell?

He turns around to face Maleficent. She then winks at Riku.

Riku: Oh dear God!

Riku begins throwing up.

Director: MALEFICENT!

Maleficent: Well I can't help that he's cute. What do you expect?

End.

Back at the house everyone was on the floor with laughter. Riku has sunk completely into his chair, his face red with embarrassment.

"Don't worry Riku. I'm sure someone had it worse than you." laughed Sora. Steam came out of Riku's ears.

(Scene with Cloud and Sora at the end of Olympus Coliseum.)

Cloud: Here. Take this and never lose sight of what you're looking for.

Cloud puts something in Sora's hand. It's a girl's thong. Cloud grabs it back from Sora and quickly pockets it.

Cloud: Sorry. That's mine.

Cloud blushes.

Sora: (Sweat drop.)

End.

Aerith glares at Cloud. Cloud has his head down in embarrassment.

"You aren't getting off so easy." said Aerith threateningly. You couldn't see through the scarf, but Cloud was scared shitless.

(Scene where Sora is in the hotel room with Leon and Yuffie.)

Kairi: Hey! Wake up you lazy bum.

Sora: Huh? Kairi?

Sora sits up dazed. He looks around the room to see Yuffie and Leon making out in a chair in the corner of the room.

Sora: (Sweat drop.) I'm just gonna go back to sleep now.

End.

(Scene where Sora, Donald, and Goofy are about to fight Leon and Yuffie in the coliseum.)

Sora, Donald, and Goofy are ready for battle. The caption, floating in front of their faces, blocking everything from view, says: Final Battle: Leon and Yuffie. They get ready, and the caption is removed, and there stand Leon and Yuffie. However, they are standing there and making out.

Sora, Donald, and Goofy: (Sweat drop.)

Sora: Do we start now? Or wait for them to finish?

Goofy: How long should we wait?

Donald: Could be awhile.

Sora: I'm gonna go to the snack bar then.

Donald: Bring me some nachos please!

End.

Back in the house, the DVD screen says Intermission. Donald turns the lights on and Leon and Yuffie are in the back making out. Suddenly Leon breaks off.

"Hey! What happened? Turn the lights back off." he said angrily.

"Sorry you two lovebirds. But we have to stop here. The movie is at an intermission." said Riku. Sora spoke up.

"Well what are we supposed to do until it starts up again?' Just then, Kairi grabbed his ear.

"You and me are going to have that talk remember?" she said. She pulled him towards another room and saw Cloud going the opposite way with Aerith.

"I hope this is a short intermission." gulped Sora.

To be continued…

And there is the first chapter. Hope you liked it. *Goes back to miserable attempts at writing something else*