It'll be the Death of Me
Chapter One:
"I'll be back by noon tomorrow. Probably," monotonously stated Mako as he fixed his coat collar and red scarf around his neck. His movements like clockwork. Painfully silent clockwork.
He had a hand on the doorknob when Bolin stopped petting Pabu where they both sat on the wood flooring in their dismal apartment in Republic City.
"Mako…I—I don't think that's such a good idea. Kor—"
"Stop!" Mako brashly yelled at his brother. He realized then he frightened his younger brother with that sudden outburst, regretted ever opening his mouth. He rubbed his golden eyes with a gloved hand and said, however much softer this time, "Stop, Bo, Stop. I can't take it." Then Mako yanked open the door and left.
It's been like this for months. He's been like this for months.
Mako's days consisted of lying about in his shabby, unkempt room all day—only coming out when darkness fell over the city. In place of his white stained tank top shirt and his patch worked pants, he wore his normal attire—jacket, gloves, scarf—everything. Then, he just…left. Disappeared into the city—into the night without a word as to where he was going. Sometimes he came back when he promised. Others, Bolin waited for days for his older brother to come back to him.
Sometimes Bolin thought he wouldn't. Sometimes Bolin thought Mako would leave. That's why Bolin worried, not because he was clueless as to where Mako went, but because he didn't know if he'd ever come back.
Really come back.
Heal.
Korra's been dead for four months now.
For the first month straight, Tenzin and the airbending family held a ceremony at Air Temple Island. The whole of Republic City came. The whole world even, it seemed like; mourning the loss of a person they never knew and never would.
Asami was there, as were Bolin and Mako. Iroh, Bumi, and Noble Hobo Man, too. They all took the blow like everyone else. Asami shed tears. Bolin shed many more.
Everyone is still healing from the loss of their loved one, their friend. But they are healing. Slowly.
Mako never got better. Not after the Equalists took Korra away. If anything, he progressively got worse. First, it was just sleeping or holed up in his room well into the daylight hours. Then came the no sleeping at all. Then eating vanished. And finally, these disappearances at night and sometimes for days on end.
Mako wasn't here anymore. Mako was…lost without Korra.
And Bolin—not matter how hard he tried to help his aching, grieving, brother, to extend a helping hand…Mako just turned the other way with a "I'm fine." spoken quietly on thin lips.
Bolin loved his brother. Mako cared for him, looked after him, fed and clothed him ever since after their parents were taken. Bolin needed Mako.
But now, Mako needed Bolin. Desperately. Bolin wanted—needed—to return the favor, but couldn't. Mako would push him away. Further and further away until…until…
He didn't know.
He didn't know if Mako would ever be the same again. And he was afraid. Afraid. Afraid. Afraid.
Bolin got up off the floor, cradling a fuzzy fire ferret in his arms. Pabu exhaled a few chattering, chirping noises and Bolin scratched his head behind his ears, "Don't worry Pabu," his voice shook, "Mako will be back soon."
Then, as silver tears ran down his cheeks, he padded over to his room, leaving the steaming pot of noodles on the cooktop. He wasn't hungry.
The door creaked open, revealing his solitary bed, next to his tiny wooden bed stand and the wardrobe on the opposite wall. He slugged over to the bed and set Pabu down on the pillow, who was fast asleep, possibly dreaming, eating as many watertribe noodles as his furry little belly could hold. Bolin put a small, fire-ferret-sized sheet across Pabu and tucked his best friend in. With a sigh, he said, "Goodnight buddy. Maybe we'll go see Jinora, Ikki, Meelo, and Naga tomorrow."
He gave Pabu a pat and then left the room to take his place, balled up on the worn, tattered sofa in the living room.
He'd lay awake for hours.