AN: I'm in luuuuuuuuuuuuuuurve. He's got brown hair, big brown eyes, he's a total genius and very into saving people and that kind of stuff, one of a kind. has an angsty past but doesn't let it bother him most of the time, and... Um, did I mention the fact that he's an alien (albeit humanoid), has two hearts and his main mode of transportation is a telephone booth called the Tardis? And that he's thousands of years old despite the fact that he doesn't look a day over twenty-five, if that?
Yeah. I'm in love with Doctor Who (the newest one, played by David Tennant, because that's all I've seen). ("Doctor who?" "Yes." "Doctor Yes?" "No, Who." "No, that's what I'm asking you! What's his last name?!" "Who!" "The Doctor!" "Doctor Who." "THAT'S WHAT I'M ASKING YOU!")
Anyway, about the fic. I saw a SasuNaru video on Youtube to Hannah Montana and I wondered how do you fit together SasuNaru with Hannah Montana?! Like, who even comes up with that kind of thing? And I was not disappointed. It was as crackish as anything I could ever want, and it inspired this fic. But it isn't a songfic. There's just a radio set to Radio Disney.
I don't own Naruto, Kakashi, Sakura, Gamakichi, Radio Disney, Hannah Montana (I think I'd have to die if I did), the song If We Were A Movie (I've never actually listened to the whole thing, and I Googled the lyrics for this Dx it didn't fit very well but it was the song on the AMV), or Britney Spears (worse), or Toxic (actually not bad in a creepy kind of way).
I do, however, own Sasuke! -squishes Sasuke in massive hug-
...I wish.
Naruto picked at the controls on the radio, going from station to station and finally settling on of all things Radio Disney. Gamakichi nodded in approval of the music and started bobbing his head in time with the song.
"In the end we'd be laughing, watch the sunset, fade to black, show the names, play the happy soooooooooooong-"
"Usuratonkachi, turn that off. Now. Before I kill you and your little frog, too."
Naruto sighed and Gamakichi glared at him. "Hey, I like that song!"
"You ever have one of those days where every song reminds you of one person?" Naruto sighed, leaning back further on the bench.
Sasuke sighed, too. He hated it when Naruto got all mopey over Sakura, although his reasons now were different than when they were Genin.
"No, but I can imagine how you might."
Naruto sighed heavily again. "...Oh."
He began to fiddle with the radio again, but one look from Sasuke and he flicked it off, staring dejectedly at the ground.
"What is your problem?"
Naruto didn't answer, which was a bit of a warning sign to Sasuke.
"Dobe, you can... turn the radio back on... if you... want." Sasuke fidgeted for a moment and stood up.
Naruto had better realize how much empathy that required Sasuke to exert. Especially if that horrible song about mistakes was on again.
"Nah, it annoys you too much, I can tell."
Now Sasuke was really worried. Naruto usually took any chance to annoy Sasuke that he could. Instead he turned around so he was facing away from Sasuke and towards the stupid little radio he'd brought for their wait for Kakashi-sensei today. Sakura didn't show up either, so Sasuke assumed they were probably on a date or something. That had been happening all Was that what Naruto was worried about?
Naruto heaved another sigh. Four times in four minutes.
What Sasuke was about to do would exhaust all of his empathy quotient for the year. Then again, something about Naruto had always tugged at deeper parts of his heart and as much as he liked to be rude to the usuratonkachi, he also couldn't help but... well, love him. Not that he'd ever say it. That was... too much of a risk.
Sasuke grabbed Naruto's shoulder, turning him to face Sasuke. He ignored the slightly dizzy feeling he got from the contact.
"What's wrong, Naruto?"
He never used Naruto's name. Naruto had better figure out he was serious.
"Nothing."
Nothing never means nothing, not with Naruto.
Sasuke wondered who Naruto had been thinking about. (More like wished it was himself.)
"Listen, if it's Sakura and Kakashi you're worried about, I'm sure you'll..." He was really going to say it. Geez. "I'm sure you'll find someone who... likes you." Some nice girl, someone you can get married to and who you could be happy with, someone who wouldn't try his hardest to destroy you for more power. Even if I am different now, you still think about that- you must.
"It's- it's not Sakura I'm thinking about," Naruto frowned, and Sasuke noticed his tanned cheeks turning red.
"...That one girl, Hinata, then?"
"Hinata?" Sasuke felt bad for Hinata, since Naruto was so mystified at the mention of her name. "Why Hinata?"
"You know, never mind. Who?"
Naruto shook his head.
"You can tell me," said Sasuke dully, trying to be bored. Although he was starting to really want to know.
"Can I just... tell you about it?"
"No specifics, then?"
"No."
Sasuke nodded. This way, maybe it would be easier to forget it wasn't himself.
"I- I told you about the stupid song thing, right?"
"Yeah."
"And... I've thought about this person literally every day for years. It's not hard, though, 'cause they're around all the time. I hang out with them a lot."
Why was Naruto using gender-neutral pronouns?
Sasuke ignored the faint flutter of hope in his chest. He decided to ask.
"Naruto..." He decided to be blunt. "You're not... gay, are you?"
Naruto scratched the back of his neck.
"I- er, yeah. I am. You got a problem with that?" His sheepish grin turned to a slightly defensive, proud one. It reminded Sasuke of the shield Naruto'd put up for years.
And he couldn't keep from grinning.
"Geez, Naruto, such a big secret."
"I've kept bigger."
Sasuke didn't know what to say.
It got serious and awkward right then, and Sasuke moved backwards unconsciously a step. Then he realized he was running away, which was bad-very-bad. But he didn't know how to go back without it being awkward.
Naruto was looking so alone, now, though, looking at the ground like he wanted to cry, and it was already awkward- and something inside his head screamed why not? Sasuke moved back forward.
And he did what he'd been dying to do for ages. He kissed Naruto, and to his amazement Naruto suddenly kissed him back.
He broke it off after a moment, because quite frankly he wasn't ready for anything else.
"Hey, usuratonkachi-" Sasuke smirked and looked at him. "I'm gay too."
Naruto grinned, and flicked the radio back on and changed the station. Instead of sighing and frowning at it, though, he grinned and sang along- to Sasuke, pointing at him any time the singer sang "you" to someone who was more than just a friend.
"Idiot, we're in public. Don't do this to me." Sasuke groaned out of horror, putting his head in his hands. But he didn't push it any further, because Naruto wouldn't be Naruto if he cared, and deep, deep down further than he would ever admit he didn't really mind.
He even kind of hoped Kakashi and Sakura would continue to be late.
Well, maybe not when Naruto started to sing "Don't you know that you're toxic?"
Sakura was rolling around with silent laughter trying to keep her chakra down. Kakashi had put his head in his hands and was massaging his forehead while silently laughing at the leaves in Sakura's hair.
"Told you so."
"You didn't have anything to do with it, did you?"
"Five dollars, right?"
Kakashi sighed and managed to fish five dollars out of his wallet, which was trickier than normal since they were currently hiding underneath some bushes. Sakura apparently hadn't picked up Tsunade's tendency to lose bets, which had been what he was banking on quite literally.
He sighed. "Guess I don't know them as well as I thought. I was certain it'd take another week at least, and I never thought they'd go so far as to kiss."
Sakura shrugged. "I think you know them pretty well, I just know them better. And I swear I had nothing to do with it. I didn't even give Naruto the radio."
They turned back to look at Sasuke. He looked oddly... twitchy, and Kakashi thought he heard the shrill siren-y background of Toxic coming from the radio.
"I think we should go save Sasuke," said Kakashi, and Sakura nodded, looking worried for Sasuke's sanity.
the end