He's gone.
No matter how many times the words repeated themselves in her head, she still couldn't quite grasp the reality of it. He had left her. He promised her he never would. She had been a fool to be taken in by him.
Like a puppy on speed. Endearing if not somewhat annoying. The easy charm, the cheeky smile, the false promises. He dared her to hope, to feel. And like an idiot she had. She let him in where everyone else had failed dismally. She knew what love was for that short time. Felt all the highs and lows... But that final low had almost killed her. She was a shadow of her former self.
He's not coming back.
The words chilled her to the bone. It was over. She'd never be the same again. She didn't want to be that girl anymore. He showed her there was more to life than academic achievement. Her world had been black and white, he injected some colour...now everything was just varying shades of grey. She felt submerged in water. The images were fuzzy and the sound muted. Nothing could get through to her. She was in too deep.
The first time she realised this she had sought out comfort. From his brother no less. Anything to get rid of the numbness that engulfed her. So much the same, yet so different. Every time she looked into his eyes she felt her heart break all over again. It wasn't him. It was all wrong. He could never be the one she wanted. He was gone.
It'll never be the same.
He had tried to piece her back together. But she never opened up to him. Never telling just what it was that was tearing her apart inside. He knew. Of course he did. They all did. But he had hoped that maybe, if he stuck around long enough, she would snap out of it. But she pushed him away, broke him as much as she had been broken.
He gave up, like they all did in the end. Even her best friends were beginning to pull away from her. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped...but she did. She screamed inside for someone to reach her. To see the pain in her eyes, feel the ground fall from beneath them and try, as she had, to keep running. To keep from falling into the dark abyss. But she was tired...so tired.
It's over.
She didn't want this life. She had never wanted this, any of this. All the pain, the misery, the loneliness. She might as well end it all. What was to stop her from poisoning herself, slitting her wrist, popping a few pills? Who would even care? She just wanted it all to go away. To be with him and find peace. If only she still had the courage that had left her when he did.
End.