A/N: So this is just a one-shot thingy I randomly decided to write…there's a longer note at the bottom if anyone cares. But yeah, there's a lot of pairings in here. Most are yaoi, though Hungary does make an appearance.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.
Spain had been his first husband.
France had been his first love.
Hungary had been his first girlfriend.
England had been his first drunk one-night stand.
Prussia had been his first sober one-night stand.
Germany had been his first lover.
Switzerland had been his first crush.
America had been his first boyfriend.
Spain had been his first husband, but there were so many other firsts tied in with their relationship that Austria usually just called him his first. Austria had been a teenager when he'd married Spain; a virgin in every sense of the word. At the time he'd thought it quite romantic for his husband to be depriving him of that virginity, though in truth their marriage was nothing but a political union. For years afterward, Austria never quite managed to stop expecting everyone to be as loudly passionate as the Spaniard.
When Austria married France-another strictly political union-he expected the Frenchman to treat him with the same quiet dignity Spain had employed. But France did not. He was obviously affectionate toward the Austrian, and his soft smiles, lilting voice, and deep blue eyes quickly coaxed Austria to return the attention. But the brunette, still not completely comfortable with himself or the situation, was hesitant; France, unwilling to push him. And so more often than not they ended up tiptoeing around each other, neither quite willing to test the other's limits. Austria couldn't help being guiltily happy when the French revolution disintegrated the awkward marriage.
Hungary was different. Firstly, she was a girl, though that didn't matter to Austria as much as it possibly should have. He had married her out of necessity to bring the Hapsburg monarchy to completion, but he only rarely thought of her as his wife. She was his girlfriend, if anything, though she had no qualms about addressing him as husband. They were more like best friends, almost like siblings, and so Austria found himself feeling very alone after the marriage crumbled.
Austria had never been one to ask for sex-he was far too refined-but when an opportunity fell into his lap (quite literally, since England was far from being sober); he wasn't shy about taking it. And thus the Austrian learned that drunken one-night stands could actually be quite enjoyable.
Prussia had been his first sober one-night stand. To be honest, Austria didn't fully regret it. The Prussian was a capable lover, and certainly Austria was glad that no alcohol hindered his memories of the night afterward (just imagining what Prussia could have gotten away with had there been alcohol involved made the Austrian shudder). If anything, Austria regretted only that the lack of alcohol gave him no excuse as to why he would sleep with the country he always insisted he hated.
Germany had been his first lover. After the Anschluss, Austria had moved in with the German (admittedly more by choice than necessity), but they were not dating, nor were they friends with benefits. Germany came to Austria when he needed stress relief-which was often during the war-and Austria forced himself to be all right with it. The sex was not non-consensual; even so, as soon as the war ended Austria moved back home, and their relationship ended quite as promptly as it had begun.
Switzerland had been Austria's first crush. The two had grown up together, had shared everything with each other for what seemed like centuries. Perhaps it had been centuries. Austria did not often dwell on his memories of his former best friend. But the Austrian did remember feeling an odd warmth in his chest on the rare occasions when Switzerland had hugged him as well as an acute loneliness that had lasted for several years after the blond had left him for good. Back then, the Austrian hadn't understood love. He'd been too young. Then again, everything was always clearer in hindsight.
America had been his first boyfriend. They'd flirted with each other for months, progressing into the stage of shy smiles and hand-holding before Austria had even allowed himself to realize his feelings for America. The blond asked him out on Valentine's Day, in a way more romantic than the Austrian had suspected the American capable of. And so America had been his first boyfriend, and now he was going to be his third husband, first non-political husband, fourth marriage partner if the Austrian counted Hungary, and after that Austria stopped counting because he'd never really liked numbers anyway.
A/N: So yeah, I was at school today and just started writing and this is what happened. I love Austria (he's my favorite character), and you can probably tell which pairings I like the most. As for the order of the paragraphs, this is the way I wrote it originally and for some reason it makes sense to me like this. I'm not sure why. Also, I'm more a fan of Austria yaoi than anything, which is why I sort of glossed over Hungary's relationship with him. I knew she needed to be in here, but… yeah. She's not my favorite. Sorry.
Also, I know Spain and Austria were married, and recently a lot of people have been saying Austria married France as well. For the purposes of this story, France and Austria were married. (I'm guessing it has something to do with Marie Antoinette being Austrian)
Anyway, review please!