Woo! This is my big return story. I highly doubt anyone read by last one though. Irregardless, I am loving the new TD:RI cast. Dakota's my favorite, but Jo and Brick are my favorite couple. Too bad they didn't hook up. So this is kind of like TD:RI AU, kind of. Sorry everyone is so OOC, especially Brick and Lightning. I did OK on everyone else though. This takes place after "Truth or Laser Shark". Sorry for the random awkward flirtation between Anne Maria and Mike. I wrote this after "Ice Ice Baby", but I changed it after it was done. OK, so here we go. This is rated K+ after heavy consideration for a couple of curse words.
DISCLAIMER: I, unfortunately, do not own Total Drama in any way. That's Teletoon. If I owned it Jo and Brick, and Sam and Dakota would have hooked up by the second episode.
No one had called her Josephine since, well, forever. It was too girly. Even the pure thought that that was her real name disgusted her. She went by Jo because that was the only name she could imagine herself with. Josephine didn't fit a girl who knocked out 3 boys on the playground in preschool. Total Drama was obviously the place to expose her amazing powers. She could win this stupid show over any of these nerds.
Her team hardly fit her awesome standards though. Their was Cameron, the string-bean bubble boy who had no athletic prowess at all. How he even survived for this long baffled Jo to no end. Anne Maria wasn't much better. If the challenge was how hard you could make your hair through hairspray, she could win. Mike, or Svetlana, or Chester, or whatever the hell he was calling himself this week was purely psycho. He could never go through an entire challenge without doing his stupid comedy routine. Zoey was the stereotypical nice girl, she wasn't ruthless. You could rename her Mary Sue and no one would ever blink an eye.
Then there was Brick. He was Jo's favorite, simply because he could actually do something athletic and not just bitch about how hard the challenge was. Once they were in the final two, she would pluck him off like a feather. Just not now. But it wasn't like she liked him or anything. Please, Jo didn't like anyone except for herself.
The two teams were eating in the mess hall now, just before the Rats elimination ceremony. "So, who do you think will go home tonight?" Jo asked Brick. He seemed to ignore her, stuffing his face with dinner. He was literally addicted to Chef's food. It creeped Jo out, that stuff was disgusting and she didn't know one other there who could stomach that stuff. "Um, hello?" Jo asked, her voice rising in anger.
"Huh?" Brick asked, finally pausing for a second. "Sorry, Jo. What did you say?"
"I said, who do you thinks going home tonight?" Jo asked, practically screaming.
"Oh," Brick said. He scanned the other team with a confused look on his face. "Didn't Dakota ruin the challenge or something?"
"I don't know, you were there," Jo said sarcastically, before snorting.
"Sam isn't that good of a player though," Brick continued as if Jo hadn't said anything. "I mean, he's nice and all, but I would not go into combat with that guy."
"Like Sam would do anything but sit on his ass to play video games, or flirt with that blonde girl," Jo retorted.
"Hey, what are you guys talking about?" Zoey asked sitting across from them.
"Oh, great, Mary Sue is here."
"Hey, you don't have to be so mean," Zoey said, sliding over to sit closer to Mike. "Brick, do you want to sit with us?"
"I'm alright m'aam. Thanks for the offer," Brick replied.
"Whatever," Anne Maria said, in her Jersey accent, even though Jo was pretty sure she'd never stepped foot in New Jersey in her life. "Hey, Mike, you wanna sit next to me, baby?"
"What are you talking about?" Mike asked, laughing.
"Geez, what a bunch of losers," Jo whispered to Brick. "We're not like that though, right, Brick?"
"I guess not," Brick said before returning to Chef's God-awful food.
"Hey," Lightning, the arrogant jock, called, running over to join Jo and Brick. "What are you boys sha-talking about?"
"What?" Jo asked "I'm not a boy!"
"Ha, funny joke man." Lightning was so stupid. Just like everyone else on this stupid show
"Why are you even over here?" Jo asked. "Aren't you supposed to be with your stupid team?"
"Lightning is too mature for his team," Lightning responded."You're mature, but you use third-person whenever you refer to yourself?" Jo asked.
"Dude, you need to stick that fork up your…" Lighting began
Suddenly, the air horn rang off, simultaneously pissing off everybody.
"You're lucky Lightning didn't have time to beat your ass or something?" Lightning said, running away. "Sha-bye!"
"You're lucky I didn't beat up you!" Jo screamed after him. She knew it was a lame retaliation, if you could even call it that, but she didn't have much time to think of a good insult.
She walked with the rest of team to turn in her trey, but she didn't even eat anyway. "Did you and Lightning get into a fight or something?" Spray Tan asked Jo as they walked away."No," Jo replied. She was tired of people being so stupid. "You were right there, weren't you?""I mean a verbal fight," Anne Maria claimed. "It would have been totally badass if you, like, murdered him right there though.""I would've got arrested, idiot," Jo said.
"You don't have to take everything literally, Jo," Anne Maria said, cocking her hip.
"Oh, you know what..." Jo said.
"Guys, it's okay," Zoey said running up to them. "We're almost back to the cabin, just sleep it off."
"I wish I could sleep on the guy's side of the cabin," Jo told the rest of the girls.
"That's because you have a crush on Brick!" Anne Maria screamed, laughing. "It's so obvious. You hang out with him all the time!"
Jo gasped, and turned her fist towards Anne Maria. "Watch it Spray Tan. I don't like anyone, got it?"
"Sheesh, whatever," Anne Maria said. "You know who else said that? That total bitch Helene or whatever her name was last year." She whispered to Zoey, " I only saw, like, 3 episodes." She turned back to Jo and said, "And then it turns out she was playing that Spanish dude."
"Yeah, playing him," Jo said. "Heather didn't like him."
"I kind of doubted that," Zoey said. "But I'm not saying you like Brick." It was obvious Zoey was covering her tracks, trying to make either everyone like her, or trying to kiss Jo's butt while kissing Anne Maria's at the same time.
"God, you guys are so wrong," Jo snorted to herself. She got into her pajamas and hopped into her bed.
But no one knew that in the dark, as she went to sleep, Josephine was blushing. Maybe they were right. Probably not though. But, maybe.