This seriously happened to me today. No, I'm not kidding. I didn't even know what this sort of thing was until this morning... after I freaked out all my friends after asking.

Then I thought that this would make a good story, modeled after my reality.

Disclaimer: I don't own Eyeshield 21, but I do own Seiran and Shou-chan

Pairings: HiruMamo, SenaSuzu

Rating: T for implied sexual things.

Sena was always such an innocent person. The problem was that he was a little TOO innocent for his own good, or so it seemed.

He was reading a Shounen Jump magazine. Passing over one of the more ecchi manga called Desire Climax, a phrase caught his eye. He frowned, then got up, walking back to the clubhouse. Seiran watched him go, puzzled about the look on her friend's face.

Hiruma was there, typing away on his laptop as usual. Pointing to the phrase in his manga, Sena asked what it was. Hiruma's eyebrows shot so far up his forehead that Sena was worried they would just fly away.

Then Hiruma's face relaxed and he cackled. Then he said something rather unbelievable.

Sena pursed his lips. That was not a good answer. But then again... That look on Hiruma's face made him not want to know, but it made him incredibly curious at the same time.

He decided to ask Seiran.

She replied.

Then he decided to ask Suzuna.

Later that day, everyone was in the clubhouse, except Hiruma, Sena, Suzuna, and of course, baby Kobayakawa Shou Youichi.

And then in came the last three, Shou looking adorable, Sena looking innocent, and Suzuna looking horribly flustered. Mamori frowned, worried that Suzuna was catching something, judging by her red cheeks.

Sena didn't hesitate.

"Mamori-neechan, what's a blow job?"

"WHAT?!?!?"

"HA?!" "HAA?!" "HAAAAA?!?!" "HAN!!!!"

"Sena, you seriously don't know, MAX?!"

"Se-Sena-kun, that's..."

"I-I'd explain, but that subject isn't really for me..."

"All kids have to know sometime..."

"Ah-HA-ha! Sena-kun, a blow job is-mmph!!!"

Monta, the Ha-Ha Brother, Komusubi, and Yukimitsu all slapped their hands over Taki's mouth simultaneously. "SHHHH!!! DON'T SAY IT SO LOUD!!!" they all hissed.

"Maiahai!!" (arienai: impossible)

Sena stared perplexedly around the room. The only who hadn't spoken was Seiran, who had narrowed her eyes caculatingly. The expression was so different from the sweet one that he was used to, that Sena took a step back. "W-What?"

Mamori tried to calm down. This certainly explained Suzuna's embarrassment. "S-Sena, I don't really think that you should know. Where did you hear that term?"

Sena opened up his Shounen Jump book to the page. "Here. I don't usually read this manga, since I heard too much about it, but I saw this and I got curious. So, what is it?"

Mamori snatched away the book. "Don't even look at that type of thing again! Before you read it, give it to me! I'll cut out all the offending pages!"

Sena sweat-dropped. "Um, okay, so what is it?"

"Er..."

Sena looked up expectantly, with that cute, innocent look on his face. Musashi stepped in. "Sena, did you ask anyone else this?"

"Yes," Sena said simply. "I asked Suzuna here, but she wouldn't tell me. And Hiruma-san just laughed and said, "The damn manager and I will probably do it sooner or later."

Everyone froze.

"HIRUMAAAA!!!" shrieked a furious and flustered Mamori, grabbing her mop and broom. She ran out of the clubhouse in a murderous mood, searching for the (her) quarterback.

Everyone else rushed after her, except Seiran and Sena, and Shou, who had his mother thrust him in to his father's arms. Shou watched the others run away...

Then watched as Seiran's caculating look vanished. She started laughing hard. "Oh, ahahaha! Oh, I get it! Haha! Sena, baby, you are so damn sneaky!!"

Seiran slapped her hand against the table, laughing so hard that she was crying. Sena stared back at her, his innocent look gone. In its place was a wicked grin.

Sena chuckled as well, sitting down and ruffling Shou's hair. "Hehe, wasn't it such a nice idea? Hiruma-san should thank me for this."

"He should!" giggled Seiran. "I can't believe that you really did it though."

"Good thing you explained to me this morning about what it was, although I could have done without you offering a demonstration (Seiran giggled and blushed). Then this little idea came in to my mind," Sena licked his lips. "And it was soo fun to see Suzuna that flustered. Wasn't it, Shou? Wasn't it funny to see Mommy nervous?"

Shou gurgled, obviously having no idea what was going on. Sena cuddled his son to his chest, then checked the clock on the wall. "It should be about time. Let's go."

Sena got up, put Shou in the playpen that Musashi had built, then headed out the door. Seiran grabbed one of Hiruma's video cameras and followed.

Mamori had shaken off everybody in her anger. Up on the school roof, she found Hiruma behind the stairway's cover (I have no idea what they call those things on the roof where the stairs come out. I mean, it's like a second structure, so it has to have a name! Arrgh, I can't even describe it properly!). Mamori marched right up to him and jabbed him in the chest with her broom handle. "How dare you!" she shrieked. "How dare you say such a thing! And to Sena of all people! Don't corrupt his mind!!"

Hiruma grunted with pain at the jab, then glared at her. "Shut the fuck up. It's not like I could tell the fucking chibi. I might use the language in everyday conversations, but it's still damn awkward."

Mamori glared at him. "Then don't tell him such things! It's not like it's ever going to happen!! I'm never giving you of all people a blow job!"

"Oh really?" Hiruma suddenly leered at her, slowly approaching.

Mamori backed away, then blinked. Caught up in her fury, she hadn't noticed that Hiruma had somehow switched their positions. Now she was the one pressing up against the wall, with Hiruma now assualting her.

Help.

Mamori tried to whack him with her broom and mop. "S-Stop! Get away!"

Hiruma easily caught the cleaning utensils and came closer. Mamori felt like curling up in to a little ball and dying. It had to be better than this demon, who had a hungry look in his eye, and his teeth bared. Mamori felt certain that he was going to eat her.

"H-Hiruma-kun..."

"So it ain't ever gonna happen?" Hiruma said huskily, pinning her arms to the wall behind her. His face came closer, and Mamori shivered as a lone finger stroked her cheek.

"N-No! It... won't... ever..."

The broom and mop fell away uselessly from her hands, clattering to the ground. Her eyes closed and she moaned softly as she felt his lips on hers, his tongue in her mouth. She wanted to bite it and make him go away, but she seemed to have lost control over her body...

And to the oblivious couple, a small camera lens was recording everything it saw. Seiran giggled madly. Sena clapped a hand over her mouth, though he couldn't stop smiling like an idiot.

"Wow, this is going soo well! They might even do a '69'!" Seiran whispered.

Sena turned back towards her, perplexed.

"What's a 69?"

"You're kidding."

Whew! All done! Haha, I liked writing this. It reminded me of how all my friends freaked out completely before one could explain it to me. I also just learned what 69 was this morning too... All of you do know, right?

(This is also very similar to what I did. After I learned what it was, I asked all my friends, just to watch them freak out. It was so frickin funny!)

And also, I haven't read Desire Climax. I heard way too much about it as well.

Seiran: Do you seriously not know what a '69' is?

72669: Well, I do (now).

Sena: No...

Seiran: Want me to demonstrate?

Sena: I do NOT like that look in your eye!