Author's note; Hello and welcome to my 6th story; I Would Do Anything to Hold Your Hand (Indeed this is a lyric;)) I am to tell you that, to my greatest dismay, I do not own Dan, nor do I own Phil. This story will be an expanse of chapters and phan phan phan. I do hope you enjoy my writing :) Here we are now, with the first chapter;
This diary belongs to Dan Howell, aged 13. Dude. Don't read my diary.
Jan 15th
I'm going to spare all the 'dear diary' crap and just delve right in. My name is Daniel Howell and I live with my family, like any other teenager. But I'm not the normal teen boy, obsessed with girls and football. I despise sport to the depths of hell and girls are of nil interest to me. This is what I'm confused about. Maybe I'm just wary as my last relationship with a girl crashed and burned and every things a little bit panicky and weird but, well, I think I'm gay. The other boys in my class all laugh about 'them gays' in sixth form, so there's not a chance I'll ever tell anyone about how I feel, but, yeah. I've never actually had a crush on a boy. I think. I do have a weirdly stalker-esque interest with Matt Bellamy, but who doesn't? He's awesome. Aaah.
Jan 17th - English period 5
I sit near to the back, surrounded by other bored and irritating students in a freezing cold classroom. This is the life. Truly. I look around to see other pupils still writing, some scratching their heads and some chewing their pens. I finished my work at what seems like a zillion years ago but I'm too nervous to put my hand up to inform the teacher. So I just kind of stare down at my page full of twirly hand-writing, looking but not really seeing. I'm officially bored. And cold. I'm just about to cough out of pure boredom when the door swings in and a sixth former flourishes into the classroom. I choke on my own cough like an idiotic seal of some kind. The guy next to me flashes a disbelievable look that just shines with 'dude wtf'. I blush and look down hurriedly, only to feel eyes still trained on me. My teacher, Miss Hellin, looks up from her pc to see who entered the room and whom caused me to nearly die of choking. I sneak a glance too. The eyes that I look at look back at me with a sudden, unexpected curiosity. And as I survey this person that just entered my life I feel a fluttering of butterflies in my stomach and I feel my eyes widen at this person. This boy. An opinion of another is bought by judgement of the eye, but I'm almost certain that everybody of a sane mind could see the pure magical essence of this boy. His sparkling eyes had the most striking contrast with his long, dark fringe and it created almost a sense of actual beauty. The perception of beauty is subjective to the beholder yet I couldn't help think that everybody -everybody- could see how nice this person looked. His mannerisms even looked kind. I wanted to know him. And that's just a brief glance, imagine a full apprasion. I feel very caught up in the moment, almost as if I'm caught unaware in a weird third dimension were my brain just zoomed into this guy. I look away hastily and blush a deep crimson. The boy next to me gives me another 'dude wtf' look but I ignore it and chew my pen to a million pieces whilst life goes on as normal for the world, mine has just changed dramatically.
He goes up to Miss. Hellin and I note the confidence in his step. He has a smile like no other, his lips full and appear deep red with his clear, pale skin. "Hiya hun. You okay Phil?" Miss. Hellin speaks as if to a child of her own when she addresses Phil. He must be likable then, this Phil. "Yeah, it's just Miss. Hotwood wants some glue sticks? Apparently hers have gone missing..." His voice is velvety deep and has a twang of northern that chimes prettily. I can't help myself and look up again. He's lent with one hand on the desk whilst chatting with Miss. Hellin, his adolescent figure lankely tall and thin. Miss. Hellin smiles and points toward the cupboard that holds pencils, pens, glue e.t.c. And it just so happens that this certain cupboard is directly to the side of me. I have a mini freak out moment before reminding myself sternly that I've only actually just seen this boy for the first time in my life and I need to chill the fuck out. He walks down the rows of tables and has a strange authority over second year goers. I look up just as he passes to see him looking at me. I lose it and smile slightly. From this angle he looks even more attractive, with his adams' apple obvious. An actual shiver runs down my back. He smiles back and I swear I die a little inside. I just look down at my work, biting my lip slightly. He retrieves the glue sticks and walks back out with a thanks to Miss. Hellin.
And that, right there, was the most emotional trauma I have ever experienced.
Jan 19th - Diary (of Jane) (haha) (no)
Well. No, I guess I'm not like the other boys in my class whom obsess over girls. Nope. I'm the opposite. I obsess over boys. Well, boy. Phil. That's literally all I know about him, but, wow. He just. Feels. I have so many. I came home that day to search him on the internet (thank-you google) and would be freaking believe it he has a youtube channel. I spend my whole life on youtube. I had the pleasure to watch his pretty face for a good five hours. Up to now, being gay has been pretty awesome. Though, there are some let downs. The dude who sits next to me in English told all the other lads my reaction from when Phil walked in and, well, there are a few insults thrown my way. Nothing I can't handle. And none of them think I'm really gay. So it's all good.
Note to self; FEED THE DOG DAN IT'S THE SECOND TIME YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN JEEZ
P.s I hope you liked it! New chapter soon if people like it:D Please, feel free to leave a review; it makes me super duper happy. Hope you all had a lovely christmas, with love -NeonLuna