Lily watched reluctantly as James slipped on his cloak and walked to the front door. 'James…' she whispered.
'Lily, I love you and I promise I will come back in one piece,' chuckled James, dryly.
'James, this is not a joke! I almost lost you the last time you went out on these missions! You don't know what it's like to have to sit by your bed, and being told that they don't know if they can bring you back.' Lily's emerald eyes began to swim in tears.
James dried the tears wrapped Lily into a warm hug, the ones Lily loved. She returned the gesture by tightly wrapping her arms around James' waist. James tilted his wife's head up so that he could look into the eyes he loved to lose himself in. 'Lily, this isn't like the last time. Last time was –'
'Please James, please don't talk about it,' Lily pleaded as more tears soaked her pale face; she buried her face back into James' chest. James hugged her tighter. The truth was that he, himself, didn't want to recall the events that happen on his last mission for the Order with Peter Petigrew.
'I've got too much to live for to die now,' he whispered in her hair. He loved the smell of Lily's hair. He took a deep breath, taking in the flowery smell; he held Lily back. 'I have to go. I love you' and he turned once more towards the door. Lily trailed after him. 'I love you too… Be safe.'
He kissed her forehead and was gone. Lily placed a pale hand on the door, wanting to open it and cry for James to come back. This stupid war! She thought. When James and Lily signed up for the Order of the Phoenix, they knew what they were getting themselves into. But as time passed, the couple got married and now was four months into expecting their first baby. Having to see her beloved James put his neck on the line time and time to keep her safe again broke Lily's heart. The fear of seeing him go and not knowing if she would see him again always made her regret joining the Order. She loved James and James loved her; that's all she needed to know to keep going.
Lily, slowly, made her way into a small cosy living room. The walls were a soft shade of sunshine yellow and the room was accessorised with scarlet red furniture. This was James' idea – he said he could not part with his Hogwarts house colours. He's such a child at times, thought Lily smiling. A grand fire was roaring in an elegant fireplace on one side of the room. A large squashy armchair faced the fireplace. Lily loved to curl up in James' lap in the armchair. Next to the armchair stood a table with some parchment, a handsome eagle quill and emerald ink. Lily smiled at the bottle and picked it up. It was, again, James' idea to write in green ink instead of the 'usual boring black.' [James earned a punch on his arm from Sirius Black, his best friend, at that comment. Sirius loved black. A handsome silver frame stood next to the pad of parchment. It was a picture of James and Lily, taken last year, dancing in an autumn breeze, laughing. Lily loved this picture. It was presented to the newly weds by Remus Lupin, another of the Potters' best friend. Lily's smile faded a little as she picked up that frame. She thought about Remus and Sirius: they were both on a mission for the Order and she had not heard from them for several days now. It was not like them. Lily considered both Remus and Sirius as her brothers, even though they were all of the same age.
Lily sat down the frame and settled herself into the armchair. It felt so much bigger without James in it as well with her. She wrapped her arms around herself and stared into the fire. She closed her eyes for a few moments. James… His smiling face floated in her mind. A small smile crept on her own face. She opened her eyes again slowly and looked over at the parchment and quill. She reached out and picked up the quill, slowly unscrewed the inkbottle, dipped the eagle feather into the emerald ink and paused for a moment over the parchment. She dipped her quill back into the inkpot and wrote: Ten Reasons Why I Love You
She paused again. She let her emotions take charge of the quill; her hand moved across the parchment automatically.
1. When we are together, I feel perfect. I love you.
2. When you take me into your arms, nothing else matters but us. I love you.
3. Every time we kiss, it feels like our first. I love you.
4. You say the wrong things at wrong time to make me laugh when I am down. I love you.
5. You take on my pain to heal me. I love you.
6. Your single touch makes time stand still. I love you.
7. You search my soul for the answer to the question you already know. I love you.
8. You know what I want even before I do. I love you.
9. You make me feel safe and wanted. I love you.
10. When you say love me, I love myself. I never thought I would say this, I never thought there'd be You.
I love you James.