1
1
He walks up to Gorilla Position, everything was silent. He could feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins, but his heartbeat was steady. This was his home. His music hits and he opens his eyes and takes a deep breath. Yes, he had missed this. He slowly walks out onto the platform and the crowd went wild. He could feel their energy pouring into him. They were standing on their feet and cheering for him. He had been gone a long time, but he is back now. He walks down the ramp and feels the lights warming up his skin and the cameras crowding him, but he didn't mind. It's his life and he loves it. He looks up at his opponent for the night and flashes a quick, sadistic smile. He walks around to the steel steps and slowly walks up them. They were in his house now and he wasn't going to rush. He steps into the ring and to the far right corner. He climbs to the second turnbuckle and the whole arena went silent, he was commanding their attention as he had for years with his signature pose. He lifts his arms out around him and arrogance radiates from him. He hears the women in the front row scream his name, and their husbands, boyfriends, brothers, and fathers boo him. They all want to be him, they all want a day in his shoes or his bed. He steps down, turns around, and assumed the stature for a man his size, towering, no, looming over his opponent. He was facing some hometown wannabe in the last match of the night, a dark match. The kid tried to look confident, but crumbled when he smiled not with his mouth, but with his eyes. He smirked as the referee signaled the ringbearer to start the match. The kid started to sweat from nervousness and this made him happy. It's not everyday a regular civilian gets to face a topcarder. He moves around the kid and everything felt like instinct. He didn't have to be in control of his body, it naturally happened. 1..2..3, and the match was over. He snapped back into his body, into his world and the crowd was almost deafening. Yes, he had missed this.
2
On his way back to the locker room, workers, wrestlers, and his bosses patted him on the back or shook his hand, while telling him, they were happy that he was back and that he had done an awesome job tonight. He noticed that they all looked at him with curiosity, wondering when he was going to self-destruct again. But he still smiled a fake plastered smile and said that he had missed WWE as well. While it was not entirely a lie, it was not entirely true. Yes, he had missed the crowd and the adrenaline rush, but he could do without backstage politics. It was one of the reasons he had to go away for a while. People talk. He was deep in his thoughts when the voice that he loved and hated but couldn't get away from, called out to him.
"Hey...Randy! Wait up!"
He turned around and his heart rate sped up, "Oh, John. It's nice to see you. It's uh...It's been a while."
"You're damn right it has," John caught up with Randy and pulled him into a hug, "It's been kind of lonely without you here. How are you?"
He gently pushed John away, "I've been good...whatever that is. Better, I should probably say." He looked away, desperately wanting to end this conversation. After all, he and John weren't on the best of terms.
John touched Randy's face and pulled it around so that they are eye to eye. He took a deep breath and whispered, "I know you're still mad at me, I know. And I'm sorry, but I didn't want you to hurt yourself. You know I was just-"
"-just stop, John. I don't want to talk about it. It's over and done with. I said I was better, let it go." Randy briskly walked away and entered into his own private locker room.
Randy walked toward the couch at the back of the room and sat down. He thought about everything that had happened in the last year. The blow-up, the OD, the overwhelming depression, almost being fired, and being forced to live in a mental health ward for 'his safety'. He had lost control of everything so fast. One minute he was in love and happy the next he was signing divorce papers. Everything went blurry as he felt warm tears run down his cheeks. God, he hated feeling vulnerable. He stood up and wiped his face, he didn't need people to know he was crying, they were already watching him.
He walked out of the locker room and out to his bus, he passed by old friends, if you could even call them that, they didn't even say hi or ask him how he was. He was never good at picking out friends or anything for that matter, he had extremely bad taste. He climbed the stairs to the bus and went into his bedroom. He undressed and walked into the bathroom to take a shower, it had been a long, and eventful day. The water running down his face and abs felt so good. He closed his eyes and inhaled slowly when one sentence ran through his head.
"We've lost him."
3
His eyes snapped open, he didn't want to remember what happened that night. He just wanted to forget.
He turned off the shower and started drying off, he always felt a little lonely when he did this. He sighed and glanced the mirror, he looked older, so he didn't like looking into mirrors. He remembered a time where he lived in a mirror. But he had changed...sort of. He put the towel around his waist and went back to his bedroom, he wasn't very hungry but he supposed he should eat anyway. He put on some underwear and walked into the kitchen/living room. The bus had been a present to him by Hunter, who said that Randy deserved the bus not just for his dedication but for getting better. Randy opened the refrigerator and pulled out spaghettis, Samantha had cooked them just for him, she tended to to things like that for him. And, he was grateful for that. She never gave up on him even when things weren't in her favor. He had a habit of hurting her and in some ways controlling her. But, she never stopped loving him...until he fucked up last year.
Randy ate his dinner and went back to his bedroom. He took off his boxers, he had always liked sleeping in the nude...he just wasn't used to being nude alone. He crawled into bed and pulled the covers over his head. He closed his eyes and embraced the darkness that washed away all pain.