A lot can change in a year. And yet as he stepped out of the taxi and on to the familiar cobbles it seemed that, in the same way, nothing had changed at all. Perhaps it was the predictably dreary weather, the way that a few people were still braving the cold clutching hot cups of coffee outside of Il Gnosh, or the fact that the first few people who passed him in the street had the sort of half familiar faces that made you smile at them on the off chance of offending somebody who you actually knew quite well, but it seemed in that second that he had stepped directly back into his old life. Ostensibly his departure had left no lasting impact on the life of this quiet village, although his leaving had had an undeniable impact on himself.

The decision to return had been a snap one in the end. A nagging sensation in the pit of his stomach that had been bothering him for months had become unbearably recurrent in the last week and ultimately led to a hurriedly packed suitcase and a last minute flight. His arrival therefore, was to be unexpected by his friends and family alike. A good surprise he hoped. His reasons for returning were largely undefined, at least in his own head. His heart knew different, but he had never been fond of looking into the one part of himself where he knew the honest answers lay, and a year of growth had brought no change in this respect. To him his motivation remained something in the abstract. A want, a need, almost an urgency to return to his roots, to find closure, to answer questions, to fill gaps and reunite new and old selves. He craved a peace that had been lacking for nearly 2 years. And he knew there was only one place in the world he could find it.

'God that sounds like pretentious bollocks' he shook his head and interrupted his own reverie with typical Craig Dean bluntness before picking up his case and wheeling it towards the home that he had left in painful circumstances almost a whole year ago.

'Craig!' the piercing voice of his mother was unmistakable, but welcome, as soon as he stepped into the pub and he threw his arms around her as she launched herself at her youngest son.

'Alright Mum' he grinned, laughing at the tears of joy running down his mother's face 'God, I'm only returning from Uni not the War. Dublin's a pretty civilised place these days you know.'

'Oh Craig I can't believe you're here! Why didn't you tell us you were coming back? We would've come and picked you up!' Frankie finally loosened her embrace but continued to hold him at arm's length and survey him.

'Well I only just decided and I thought it'd be a nice surp-'

'Gosh have you not been eating well son, you know you look as though you've lost weight, and you really can't afford to with your figure, sit down let's get you some food…oh it's been far too long since I've been able to look after my baby like this' she steered him to a table and pushed him down forcefully into a chair.

'Mum really don't fuss I'm absolutely-'

'JACK!' she screeched 'Jack! Come out here, it's our Craig he's only gone and come home'

Jack emerged from the stairs to the flat with a surprised but nonetheless delighted smile on his face and hurried over to Craig 'Oh it's good to see you Son' he said shaking his hand then throwing his arm around his shoulders 'Your mum's really missed you'

'We all have, love' Frankie cut in 'Every holiday I hoped you might just come and see us but then…well…every holiday I was disappointed. Never mind eh? You're here now.'

Craig shifted uncomfortably in his seat at this, but gave a small smile 'I missed you all too.'

'Wow, nearly 30 whole seconds before laying the parental guilt trip; you must be getting soft Mum'

Craig span round to trace where the recognizable voice was coming from and broke into a grin as spotted his sister leaning against the bar with her arms folded.

'Steph!'

She fixed him with a slightly pensive look but eventually returned his smile 'Heya Craig. It's good to see you'

Her reaction was muted to say the least but with the arrival of Darren into the bar and Frankie rushing off to phone Jake and tell him the news, Craig had little time to dwell on it before he was whisked away upstairs and encouraged to regale his family with tales from the Emerald Isle.

Later that night, Craig was unpacking things into his old bedroom when a sudden wave of exhaustion forced him back onto the bed, where he lay silently and listened to the muffled voices from the pub below. The sense of deja vu was inevitable he supposed. His room looked as it ever had and the rise and fall of noises from below had been the soundtrack to many a night lain thinking on his bed in years gone by. But far from providing him with comfort, this only served to make him doubt further his ability to be the person he knew wanted to be now that he was back in his old home. The familiarity of everything and the sense of his old self in the room encouraged him that falling back into his old ways might not be such a bad idea. If nothing else it would cause what he knew would be a far easier summer.

But that, he sighed, was taking the easy way out. Something he was undoubtedly fond of, but also something that had got him into this mess in the first place.

Nope, this time, he would have balls for a change. He knew he might have to fight for what he wanted, he might lose his friends and family in the process, hell he might even get his heart broken at the end of it all, but a pair of bright blues staring down at him from a photograph on his wall reminded him it was worth the risk.