AU- For a full list of Pairings and characters featuring in this story, scroll down.

This story shall contain lots of odd couples, dirtiness, but I asure you it will have a PLOT =).

For now, enjoy

CHAPTER 1 - WHO WILL BE WASHED?

It was a sunny Friday when Fred and George went to visit the prefects bathroom. Since they were not prefects or whatsoever, they had to come up with a plan. So George decided to disguise himself as Neville, who wasn't a prefect either, but just so that he wouldn't get in trouble.

While transforming himself into Neville, Luna entered. She dropped her magic wand in shock and gaped at the two boys who were standing there, smiling sheepishly and scratching their head.

"What the hell do you guys think you are doing? I know exactly what you naughty boys are up to, and you will not fool me or any other student again."

Just as George and Fred wanted to say something in their defence, a groaning sound came from behind Luna and they all looked at the source of the sound in surprise. While Luna started to scream, Fred and George couldn't hold their laughter: HARRY AND DRACO! The two boys, caught in the act, looked up in shock at their unwelcome visitors and started to blush madly.

"I… I..", Harry mumbled, "I really don't know what to say right now."

The others still gaped at him whilst Luna continued screaming. "For two years I had a huge crush on you, Harry. A huge crush! And now you are literally just sleeping with the enemy."

Draco turned red and yelled: "What enemy?"

"Oh come on, Draco", Fred said while defending Luna, "You are from Slytherin. Plus you are just plain mean and vicious."

Then George turned up to Harry. "How on earth could you sleep with that blondie? I always thought you liked redheads."

Harry chuckled. "Perhaps I do. But Neville….." George flinched as he realised half of him looked like Neville Longbottom. "This was not part of the plan. Actually I am George, transforming into Neville. But that's not our main problem."

Harry shook his head. "I know."

Draco in the meanwhile was tiptoeing towards the exit when Luna caught him by his waist. "Don't you dare, you coward," Luna said while dragging Draco back into the room again. "We still have a little issue called Harry and Draco are gay to discuss." Draco raised a finger and opened his mouth.

"OOOOOH hell. Is this suppose to happen?" George, half Neville, turned around and showed a hairy back. "How hairy is your friend, Luna? It's disgusting." To everybody's surprise the door of the prefects bathroom opened again. Everybody looked silently at the entrance when two people (heavily kissing) walked in.

"RON! HERMIONE!" Harry shouted in shock. "I told you I wanted to have this room for myself for at least an hour."

"Well, you're not doing a good job then, mate," Ron said while ripping off Hermione's bra.

"Ron…." Hermione's voice was filled with disbelief. "Can't you see there are people here?" Ron shrugged. "Harry isn't wearing anything either. Just relax." Clearly Fred and George hadn't noticed that either, because suddenly they were really intrigued by Harry's wand of flesh.

Luna, who was still keeping Draco at bay, rolled her eyes in annoyance. "For Gods sake. I just need a bath!"

"Alright, alright," Draco said, who clearly was done with all the madness. "Luna, go bathing, please. Hermione and Ron, get a room! George, shave, please and Fred, just leave the room." Draco stopped talking but suddenly said "Oh and Harry, come and meet me in fifteen in the dungeons."

Fred rolled his eyes. "And what will you do Draco? Oh let me guess."

Hermione caught Ron's wrist and guided him towards the exit. "Fine, we'll leave." But Ron struggled against her grip. "Hermione, no! The bath, remember?" he grumbled under his breath. "I'm very dirty."

Luna sighed audibly. "Well, so am I! And I'm fed up with all of you." Without as much as a warning she stripped off her coat. All the boys in the room swallowed, except for Harry and Draco, who already left the room in silence. Hermione smiled. Since she already knew about the new relationship of the two, she was really happy for both of them. "Oh, come on Ron. Just let Luna wash her filthy body. It's for her own good. And ours! We can do some dirty stuff for ourselves in the bedroom." While saying this Hermione pulled some handcuffs out of her coat. Fred and George, who was still partly Neville, silently crept up behind the half-naked Hermione with the excuse to study her handcuffs. Luna dropped the last of her garments and entered the bath, letting out a sigh of joy when the water dashed around her form. "This is goooooood." She moaned.

"For the last time, Ron!"

"Alright, alright," Ron mumbled.

Hermione added, "Are you coming too, Fred and, euhm….. Neville-George?"

Luna relaxed while Hermione, Ron, Fred and George, who was still partially resembling Neville (how strong was that spell?), left the room. For a moment the prefects bathroom was filled with silence and Luna closed her eyes.

Then, without knocking on the door, Professor Severus Snape entered the room quietly. He was only wearing a robe and silently moped about the insolent behaviour of his students. When he reached the bath he slipped of his robe and entered it. Still unaware of Luna's presence, he closed his eyes as well and relaxed. After a while Snape couldn't help himself and, very unlike his character, farted, but the sound was so silent that Luna ( just like Snape) wasn't aware that she wasn't alone in the hot bath anymore. Luna shifted but kept her eyes closed. Snape could feel the soft ripples of the water touching his skin but didn't thought a thing of it.

While Luna started to drift of into a wonderful world of her own, Snape's imagination had run wild as well and he now started to fantasize about touching a horse on a market place to check if it was a good quality creature. Luna dreamed about the hottest boy in town coming to pay her a visit when he leaned forward and started to touch her boob. She sighed softly. 'This feels so real' she thought.

Meanwhile, Snape was fondling the horse and had to conclude that its skin was very soft and delicate. He wondered if every horse felt as soft as this one. But when the horse let out a sigh his attention got focussed on the horse's mouth. 'Can horses sigh?' he questioned himself. Luna moaned softly. 'His touch is so good. Magical almost.' Snape leaned closer to the horse, his breath tickling the skin of the delicate creature, which in fact was Luna who was already leaning into his touch. 'Just a bit closer.' She thought desperately. Snape let go of the horse and Luna whimpered sadly. He shifted as in his dream he walked over to the boy who was selling the horse.

'Harry.' Snape heard himself say to the boy in his dream. 'How much for this horse.' But Harry, a perfect resemblance of Harry Potter – one of his most annoying students – opened his mouth and started to recite the professor's latest lesson about the ridiculous curse.

Snape looked down at the boy in frustration and wished he could shut the boy up. But when he looked around him there was nothing to make him quiet. So, in a desperate attempt to silence his most annoying student ever – also the one with the most beautiful eyes – he did the one thing that came to his mind and leaned forward to kiss the boy brutally. Luna gasped when lips crashed down on hers and arched her back. Snape's kiss became less violent when he noticed the boy had shut up and wondered why the kiss felt so real.

Too real.

Too damn real and too good for a boy's kiss.

Especially that of one of his students.

To assure himself of this all being a dream he wrapped his arms around the boy. On that moment the real life Harry and real life Draco walked into the prefects bathroom to see if the others were all gone. After all, the dungeons were already occupied. They came to a halt when they saw and heard what was in fact happening in the bath tub.

"Oh my god," Harry whispered, "Luna and Professor Snape are having sexual intercourse."

Draco also saw the kissing professor with his arms wrapped around Luna. "That is so gross! What do we do?"

Harry looked pensive. "I don't know. I really don't……."

The following story will contain as main pairings:

Draco x Harry
Snape x Luna
Ron x Hermione
Hermione x Fred&George

Other pairings (Now kept secret) will involve:

Cedric, Cho, Barty Jr, Dumbledore, Ginny, Rita, Neville And prepare for much more strange and unusual couples!

R&R If you like it. We accept suggestions for pairings ;)