Dandelion
TheMockTurtle
June 1978
The black lake rippled in the summer's hot breeze. It swept through the grounds in one swift motion before rustling the healthy green leaves of a nearby tree. Under it, unfazed by summer's whispers, sat a girl with a mess of dark hair clumsily tugged into a bun. Her eyes were unmoving on the gentle lapping of the lake's tide to the shore, her legs lazily outstretched and shying away from the sun's prickling kiss, and her ink blotted fingers anxiously tugging at the blades of grass from their earthy roots.
She looked just like any other student taking advantage of the good weather so, why. Why couldn't Sirius Black take his eyes off her from his own grounding near the gradually heating boulder? Why was it that he had started scanning for her in the Common Room after every dinner? Or that his heart tugged eagerly to spot her clumsy tussled hair in the sea of Ravenclaws and Gryffindors that poured out of Arithmancy? Each moment he had spotted Remus and she had not been walking alongside him, with her muttering something condescending from the side of her mouth Sirius had felt himself disappointed?
It was Marlene McKinnon for Merlin's sake.
Sarcastic, sardonic, simple, strong-headed Marlene McKinnon. So why, why was Sirius Black itching to stroll up next to her and play his smug act? Why had he been so eager since the Christmas holidays to have her attention reserved for him? Dozens of questions were tumbling in and out of his mind as he watched her shift with the shade of the tree, her legs curling to reassure her tucked skirt.
There had been hundreds of students out on the grounds today, all basking in the warm sun's gift. Some laid sprawled out on the grass, some tickled the water at the lake's edge with their toes, and others found themselves seeking refuge in the shade of nearby trees.
Sirius frowned as James had turned back up to return to the castle, excited to see the weather would keep for another two hours so he could zoom around on his new broom—an early graduation present no doubt.
He was alone now. Well, as alone as his close companions would allow. So what was stopping him from giving into the tugging sensation in his stomach, the anxious curiosity that seemed to heighten every time Marlene would stroll by or roll her eyes?
Then he heard a familiar faint voice at the back of his mind:
'Play nice, Sirius. Marlene's doesn't exactly tolerate your definition of funny.'
Bloody Remus. Must he play the voice of reason even when he wasn't physically around?
Sirius rolled his eyes and caught sight of a nearby gathering of blowing dandelions, mixing among yellow ones. It might've been the summer heat and the sun, but there was slight glint growing in his grey eyes.
At first with hesitant steps then a life of their own, Sirius had regained his confidence. Before he could fully register his surroundings he had taken his final steps towards the shaded area that cradled a puzzled Marlene. In his hand he clutched a weak blowing dandelion and he gracelessly plopped down next to her. The same feeling that greeted him that Christmas Eve in James' house was creeping up through his stomach to his chest, yet he egged it on as he watched her brown eyes narrowed in curiosity and displeasure.
Marlene's eyes quickly flicked back to the shoreline, her body tense and her fingers wrapped around grass blades in mid-tug. Not a word was said as she kept her gaze steady and hard on the edge of the lake, Sirius allowed himself to smirk just a bit.
He leaned back against the tree trunk, one leg outstretched, and the other bending to a tall knee. Sirius twirled the dandelion carefully by the weak steam, his eyes switching discretely between her freckled profile to the dandelion.
"Lovely day." Sirius began but her expression was unmoving, tense and with the intuition to dart at the next given opportunity.
Marlene turned her eyes just for a moment to see him examining the dandelion, smug expression creeping through his handsome features. She felt her stomach plummet and she scowled in returned.
Sirius must've noticed because he let out a harsh chuckle before she returned her needlessly intent gazing to the lake.
"Don't you think so, McKinnon?"
Marlene exhaled in clear aggravation and finally unwound her fingers from the grass blades and pushed herself away from the tree trunk. For a moment Sirius' stomach flopped in fear that she was about to get up and leave; once again unsure as to why it would affect him to such an extent.
But he relaxed once he saw her merely inch away from him, her knees coming close to she could lean her forearms on them.
"You're not very talkative today, are you?"
"What are you up to, Black?" Marlene snipped quickly, her tone as bored as she could manage. Her fingers interlaced and she occupied herself by inspecting the woven flesh patterns.
"Up to—Well, I'm offended, McKinnon!" Sirius said, his smirk growing as he watched the back of her head, now shaking in negation.
"Oh please, save the act for a third year who'll buy it." Marlene bit back and turned herself slightly to take one sweeping look at him. She regretted it immediately as the summer's heat was no longer keeping balance with the cooling shade.
Marlene rolled her eyes and brought her knees down to cross them over one another, her elbows coming down on her thighs as she cradled her face. She tried to distract herself by resuming the plucking of grass blades, but nothing could take the attention away from the burning at the back of her head that she knew Sirius so intently stared at.
She was annoyed, because Sirius could at least give her some credit after rudely rubbing it in her face that she was one of the cleverest witches in their year. She was annoyed because she would not be taken as a fool as if she hadn't noticed his questing eyes at King's Cross in January. That she knew Remus had only ask her where she was after Gryffindor won the Quidditch cup because Sirius had not spotted her in the vast amount of crimson after evading him in the stands.
But most of all Marlene was scared.
It was until the Potter's annual Christmas Eve gala that Sirius had been unable to stop pestering her when they had returned to Hogwarts. She silently cursed herself every night for taunting him on his knowledge of waltzing, for accepting his open inviting hand, and for letting her feel swayed as his feet executed sophisticated steps on James' abandoned balcony. Sirius made her put her foot in her mouth that night, as the song cued it's end, which they so clearly could hear from the main drawing room a floor down—it's wide French panelled doors opening to the night allowing the winter's wind carry the symphony to the balcony. She stood there with her chest heaving biting frost and her cheeks burning through the cold, her eyes scanning Sirius' steadfast aristocratic features that (it might've been her imagination but) seemed more pronounced than ever—and dare she say it? In his element. In her element. In their pureblood etiquette thumping family's element.
Sirius Black was an aristocrat and she had been a fool to believe different.
Although, she hastily had pulled away at James and Remus' reappearance, she still felt the need to run whenever Sirius was around. His eye teasing and full of eager questions ready to bounce off to her hesitant ears. She was scared because she recognized his behaviour all too well.
It was the same behaviour that the castle had seen within the on and off year of Mary MacDonald.
Marlene could feel her heart skittering nervously in her chest at the thought. Her pulse, no doubt, quickening as she shifted her eyes to anything else that would be willing to distract her from the suffocating and prickling heat creeping up through her collar.
She was scared because through her seven years at Hogwarts not once had Sirius paid her any mind aside from an eye roll in the class as she would let her quick tongue bite an angry or sarcastic remark, or a taunting laugh to anything Marlene might've done in his and James' line of vision. She had never been the type of girl to get the time of day from Sirius. Which was fine by her, by all means, if she could have participated in a campaign to get Black and Potter expelled she would no doubt be leading the petition boards.
Marlene McKinnon was scared because she didn't know how to feel.
Sirius cleared his throat loudly behind her almost causing her to jump. She clenched her hand in a reflex and tugged a handful of grass blades free.
"I didn't see you at the victory celebration last weekend." Sirius began with a coy tone to his words.
"Parties aren't exactly my thing." Marlene replied, bringing her eyes to assess the damage of earth mingled with foliage in her palm.
"And what exactly 'is your thing'?" Sirius asked. His eyes were shifting between the dandelion still and Marlene's hunched back. His gaze stopped at her mid-back and felt his stomach surge at the memory on James' balcony, "That didn't seem like the case this Christmas holiday."
Marlene froze mid dusting of her hands. She tensed even further and felt an unease settle in her stomach. How dare he bring up that night she was so clearly avoiding? How dare he take the opportunity that they were alone after almost half a year to bring up something she was praying he'd forget?
"That's none of your concern." She snapped letting her eyes meet his in an angry flare. He sat smirking, his head thrown back in ease as he watched he turn back irately to face the lake.
"On the contrary, I think that night may have granted me a glimpse into what exactly 'is your thing'." He drawled out, as much ease in his voice as he could muster, the weak stemmed dandelion twirling in his fingers. Out of the corner of his eye he could see her back tense religiously. "Why Marlene, sneaking off from a social gathering filled with dozens of high-class wizard families, influential no doubt, with a handful of young wizards—tsk tsk. Marlene, Marlene. I would have never thought that of you-"
"Shut it!" Marlene hissed, her face flushed with no help from the summer's heat. Her hand had ripped out a handful of grass and pathetically tossed it in Sirius direction with very little affect.
Sirius could only smile, staring straight at his plucked dandelion, "And to be dancing, no—waltzing… with an ostracized wizard from such a high-class pureblood Wizarding society in a secluded, dark area, my Marlene, aren't we the little rebel."
"That's not what happened." Marlene looked for his gaze, to meet it, to make him understand clearly that she meant business and that that night was not a joke but a huge mistake and dent to her pride. She wanted to make him understand that even if he had been the last Wizarding male in the whole of wizard society she would have never accepted his open hand.
"What would Mummy and Daddy McKinnon think?" Sirius allowed himself to smirk at this and no doubt saw Marlene flinch upright, her had gaze never leaving Sirius' face.
"No, better… what would over-achieving, youngest Curse-Breaker, I-can-do-anything-better-than-you, perfect older brother Edmund McKinnon think?"
Marlene snapped and crackled like a log under the hot pretences of a fire.
"You shut it! You shut it RIGHT NOW, BLACK! You sit here playing that you know me and you know my life. You're no better by trying to point fingers of what you think you know about my life. You're only scrapping the surface, Black. You want to play the family card, FINE. Let's play the family card. Oh, look at me poor destitute Sirius Black, once stuck in a home by a purity thumping family, but I don't care! Me? Care? Ha! I'll just torment the school and cry for the desperate attention I lack! No, no matter that they're actually students here willing to learn and don't think this is a joke! Life is a joke to me! It's so much of a joke that I ran away from home and the whole Wizarding society knows and talks about it! But what do I care—oh, I don't! So let me run along ahead and do what I do best and torment the rest of the students!"
Marlene's chest fell after a sharp intake of air, her dark eyes danced around his features. Her blood boiled further when she saw that all he could do was smile. Aggravated by his sheer aloofness she brought herself to her full height.
"What are you smiling at?" She hissed through her teeth. She was just about ready to turn on her heel and leave him there before she smacked the grin right off his face. Her heart was pounding fiercely in her ears as she waited in the long pregnant pause.
Sirius finally looked up smiling from the dandelion and said, "You're right."
Marlene opened her mouth ready to enter another angry rant but with a perplexed look she closed it. "I… What?"
"You're right, Marlene—I don't care. Which makes me wonder… what were you trying with your little rant?"
Marlene shook her head, her eyes narrowing in disgust, "You're impossible, Black." She spat.
"And you're a walk in the park, McKinnon?" Sirius continued to grin up at her. Her hair had slightly dishevelled out of its bun, a few rogue strands sprung at awkward directions which only made him bite back his laughter, "If I'm so impossible, McKinnon, answer me this. Why did you accept my hand that night on James' balcony?"
Marlene's face fell, and just for a moment Sirius wouldn't be sure to know but he swore he saw a hint of fear flash before her flushed face before it wrinkled into its familiar scowl.
"Because you challenged me!"
"Bullshit."
"Excuse me?" Marlene's scowl turned into flabbergasted expression at his use of words. She looked uneasily at him.
"Don't lie, McKinnon."
"Oh, please, enlighten me, Black." Marlene crossed her arms across her chest.
Sirius finally shifted from his position and stood up leaning against the tree, a good head taller than Marlene so she strained herself to not give up the ground due to his height.
Her heart was thumping insanely against her ribs, she was worried she was about to feel it on her arms she so tightly wound around herself in the desperate need to feel brave.
"You accepted my hand because you were curious. You had spent your time at Hogwarts so busy marking James and I off as nuisances, now that you and Remus were so buddy-buddy, you started to realize we may not be as bad as you probably would so obviously complain about to Fenwick and the twins." Sirius was smirking and Marlene felt her entire body ready to shake.
"You're wrong." She snipped.
"Oh, am I?" Sirius chuckled, "So why would you risk a scolding from your regal parents about your reputation if I'm so wrong."
"I did it for, Remus. It was his first time at such an event!"
"Oh, please, McKinnon. Don't give me the charity act; you know Remus wouldn't appreciate it."
"That's not what I meant!" Marlene's cheeks flushed red in embarrassment.
"You were curious, admit it! You wanted to get to know us all better! I surprised you and you know it!"
"No! You're wrong! You're still the same loud, obnoxious, attention-craving, womanizing, childish PRAT! You're egotistical and selfish! You possess no qualities I would ever even seem redeeming to even come close to calling you my friend! You hold no discipline and no care for anything that regards motivation for the future! You lack respect not only for your inferiors but of the girls you're with who are supposed to be your equals! And I pity Remus for having to have to put up with you and I knew this whole idea of his to try and let me get to know the better side of you and James would blow up in my face. James at least seemed to have matured! But what about you! And I would never ever, even if my N.E.W.T.'s counted on it, ever want to be your acquaintance, Sirius Black!"
Marlene was unsure for the fear was leaving her body, and unease and anxiety was settling in because for once in their whole encounter, Sirius' face fell.
There was a large silence between the two of them, only the sounds of the shifting grass underneath Sirius' feet. Marlene's heart was speeding into overdrive—she should have bitten her tongue. Her nasty habit had finally gotten the best of her.
She swallowed dryly and felt her fingernails dinging into the sides of her arms. Why wasn't he saying anything?
Marlene turned her eyes away and felt her head coming down from the high of the moment. It could be the heat but Marlene had never thought she would say the words she had so clumsily held to herself for seven years.
Sirius looked past Marlene's uneasy figure in front of him, he could see the sharp glint of the lake under the bright sun, and he couldn't help but still think of how they reminded him of the diamond earrings that dangled on her earlobes that night as he spun her.
He remembered the dandelion in his grasp and smiled once more. Although something deep inside him felt shattered looking at the dandelion had given him renown hope because for once since that December, Sirius had an inkling of a feeling why he had searched so hastily ever meal for Marlene's unruly bun of hair, for her large stack of books in the common room, her black moccasins forgotten by the fireplace as she dithered with Remus on Transfiguration essay.
Marlene was staring quizzically at him, no doubt perplexed as he could be smiling when she had just brought his flaws and faults to his face.
"You know," Sirius began his gaze intent on the dandelion, "They say if you blow on a white dandelion and every seed scatters then you are loved." Her brow furrowed in confusion even further, "If some seeds still stick to it, well… then you're out of luck."
Marlene rolled her eyes and turned to look back at the lake before turning to look at Sirius, as if asking herself if this would be a good moment to leave, "So what?"
Sirius looked at her for a moment and let his smirk spread further before turning his attention to the dandelion. Marlene watched as his lips formed a perfect 'O' and exhaled. The fluff danced in the wind for a moment brushing over Marlene's face for a moment and then scattering where the wind pleased.
Marlene turned her attention back to the dandelion and smirked, "I guess you're out of luck."
Sirius couldn't help but grin as he eyed the few seeds that clung helplessly to the dandelion, "Guess I'm not as loved as I thought I was."
Marlene resisted smiling but the corner of her mouth betrayed her, "Don't worry, Black, some cultures believe the number of seeds remaining are how many years you have left to live. Either that or Snape really doesn't want to be your best friend. "
Sirius let out a bark-like laughter watching the dandelion, thinking it wise not to count, "Thanks, McKinnon, that's as reassuring as your friendship with me."
She looked up to the tree helplessly, her cheeks feeling the heat of embarrassment. They had been standing there joking as if not a mere moment ago Marlene had yelled at Sirius.
"McKinnon."
Marlene's eyes met Sirius' grey ones, he seemed to be searching her face hesitantly, not at all like the way he had done every lunch and supper. This time she had been in front of him, his search no longer as desperate.
Her eyebrows quirked and found it rather difficult to keep his intense eye contact. She told herself to breathe, that the worst had been over and that soon enough it would all be back to normal. Black would just be a distant memory with graduation right around the corner and she would carry out her mundane life.
"I'm going to make sure every seed is eventually gone."
Marlene shook her head confused, "What?" her brown eyes were now searching his face for answers, but there was no hint of playfulness, only the tug of the side of his lips.
Sirius brought up the scarcely adorned dandelion, "One day, McKinnon, I'll make sure every seed is gone. Whether you like it or not—I'm going to make it my task." He was smirking slightly now and before Marlene knew it before she could question him further, he reached out of her tense hand—just as he remembered it… dainty and soft just as the night he had first held it. The only difference being that it was ink blotted instead of cold.
Marlene looked down and saw Sirius had placed the half blown dandelion in her hand and was enclosing it with her fingers, his rough palm over them. As if in an instance, between the moment Sirius had pulled away, to the sly wink he threw over his shoulder as he paced towards the castle it had hit Marlene.
Sirius wasn't going to let Marlene think of him as a distant memory. He was determined more than ever, now knowing where he stood in Marlene's graces, to wedge himself deeper into her thoughts—more than he already had been. He was going to make himself unforgettable, so unreasonably unforgettable that his presence in her mind would drive her into unlocking the large chest that carried the heavy burden of feelings she had been harbouring since Christmas Eve.
Sirius Black was determined to make her fall in love with him, and that all along had been Marlene's true fear.