A/N: This just sort of came to me last night and wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it. The words in parentheses are Clint's thoughts.
Thanks for reading!
He knows there is something wrong the moment the envelope is in his hand. The paper is too white. The ink is too black. The SHIELD emblem in the corner, the one that can only be seen if the light hits it exactly right, is much too visible when it shouldn't be. The address is simple, Stark Tower, but no specifics are given as to who should be the recipient of the news inside. He barely registers that he is opening the envelope, staring at it while his hands shake and his heart pounds in his ears.
His stomach drops because he knows, as he slides the paper that is thicker than it should be out of the envelope, which drops to the floor. (No. This can't be happening.)
We regret to inform you...
And Clint Barton stops breathing. (No.)
The remainder of the team finds him in the lounge, standing in the middle of the room, eyes staring at nothing and hand outstretched while the paper he had been holding lies forgotten on the floor. (No. God no.)
"Earth to Cupid," Tony says, waving his hand in front of Clint's face. "We brought food," he adds when he gets no response.
The letter is picked up by Pepper, her complaint about leaving trash all over the floor lost as she reads it. Her hand flies to her mouth to cover a sob. "Oh my God."
Tony snatches it from her hand and drinks in the words with his curious eyes.
We regret to inform you that Agent Natasha Romanoff was killed inBratislava on the 14th of November, 2012.
Signed by Nick Fury.
Maria Hill's note on the bottom: I'm so sorry Clint.
He lifts his head slowly and stares at Clint, who remains rooted to the spot. The paper is passed in slow motion to Steve and Bruce reads it over his shoulder until they are all looking at their teammate.
"Is...is he breathing?" Bruce asks quietly.
Steve steps forward. "Clint..." (It's not true. This is some sort of sick joke.)
"This isn't funny," his voice is hoarse, the knot in his throat tightening. His eyes focus on each of them briefly before returning to distant and lost and alone. (It's a joke. It has to be.) "Stop."
Pepper moves toward him, reaching out to comfort him but he jumps instinctively away from her touch. Tears pour silently down her face. "Clint, I'm so sorry."
(It's not true. It's not true. No.) He shakes his head vigorously. "No. Stop. It's not funny."
"Clint..."
"STOP SAYING MY NAME! Where is she?" His voice is full pain, echoing around the room.
Pepper sobs and Tony slides his arm around her. (They won't stop. Whywon't they stop?) "She's gone, Barton," Steve furrow his eyebrows at the man.
"No." (You promised.) He shakes his head again. The people and the walls are closing in, suffocating him. His breathing speeds up. "No." (You promised you would come home.)
They stare down the hallway as he runs from the room.
The car that pulls out of the garage of Stark Tower is met with a chorus of honking and cussing from gruff voices as it speeds off down the street, cutting in front of several lanes of traffic. Two men following, staring at the convertible as it disappears around a corner.
Clint screams her name at the windshield. Each syllable is another piece of his heart breaking apart. (God no, this isn't supposed tohappen.)
The tears that pour down his face blur his vision. (You promised, Tasha.)
He turns a corner too quickly. (You promised.)
Out of control.
(No. You aren't…you can't be.)
Traffic. (Tasha.)
Crashing metal as he rear ends the person in front of him. (No. Tasha.)
He gets out of the car, leaves the door open, runs. (No. No. God no.)
Angry shouting follows him but he doesn't stop until he reaches an alleys dead end. (Tasha.)
The wall catches his jacket as he collapses, strangled breathing and heavy tears. (You were supposed to come home.)
When he has lost the strength to scream, her names becomes a forced whisper. (Please no. Please come home.)
(Tasha.)
(You promised.)