I love her. I love her. I love Tohru. The same Tohru that I had repeatedly insulted out of rage in the past. The one that gets so happy over tiny gestures. Being so optimistic even though both her parents were dead.
Why? Why was she so selfless?
When Shishou took off the bracelet, she stayed with me, even though she was scared and I was scared and if Tohru had let go of my hand that day...I don't think I would've came back. For anything.
I love her. But...I'm a monster.. Akito taunts me, "Even though you killed your mother! You...a monster...you think it's possible to love someone?" He laughs derisively.
"I'm a monster," I had echoed hollowly at the time. "I don't love her." It was all a lie. IT WAS ALL A LIE! Inside, down where Akito hadn't broken me, I was full of hope.
I tried to suppress it reluctantly but still it rose, up into my heart.
The minute Akito dismissed me, I ran, the vision of Tohru swimming in front of my eyes. She was smiling, her long hair swinging back and forth. Tohru. Please wait for me.
How many smiles did it take? I feel like I should be surprised at this self-betrayal, my love for her sneaking up behind me all this time. But I don't. I feel genuinely happy for the first time in my life since Shishou took me in.
I can't even bring myself to fight that damn rat anymore, because it'll make her worry.
I can't stand to make Tohru worry. The attempts that I do make at him are half-hearted punches stopping short of his face. The same rat that I had repeatedly been trying to land a hit on since I met him. Akito had promised me that if I could beat him, I wouldn't be locked up. Now, I barely try anything. All because of her.
Have I given up? Do I not care?
No.
It's more that I don't think about the inevitable because there's an angel by my side.
But why should I be allowed to be selfish and want her? I can't and I won't but I want her to be mine. I want to protect Tohru and to be by her side. I'm selfish. And I can be selfish because I'm leaving, right?
I'm leaving.
I don't know what I'll do with myself if I never see Tohru again.
All of a sudden, I feel like I can't breathe.
:) looooove Kyo and Tohru. I'm in the middle of reading Fruits Basket and I don't want it to end! This popped into my head.
Review or I'll kill you.
SORRY. i was just trying the threatening thing but I think I'll stick with a 'please' instead of waving a sword in front of your face.