The word indescribable I despise. It is a catch all that catches nothing. It lacks in full feeling and to say that as a word for oneself shows such ignorance. Not to be in tune with your mind. Not to be in tune with your surroundings. It goes against everything I was taught as a soldier. I should know myself. Control my feelings. Control my heart.

But in my heart, what I feel at this moment, is indescribable.

Amodar had told me that if I were too ignorant to understand my emotions then I did not deserve to feel it. Push it far from your mind. Bury such things that do not fit your heart. It can only strengthen you. Use that to push you farther. Farther than you ever imagined possible.

For now, I am ashamed because I cannot heed such advice. I am ignorant. Weak just as he believed a soldier could be. I do not deserve to feel this tug at my heart because I do not understand it. It is foreign to me. Alien. Unwanted by a dark part of myself. That dark part my is my hardened soldier. That part that was trained to feel no sympathy or no caring. I do not deserve this light feeling tingling that rushes through my chest, but for my ignorance of it I do deserve the shame.

The befalling cause is Vanille. Aye, my Vanille. As sweet as her name sounds, her kisses she plies my mouth now are sweeter than syrup and hangs with each whispered breath of my name, "Light." She pulls gentle and fluid from my lips that are wet from her tongue and her words chill them so they quiver. Noticing, she smiles at me. Not the way a lover would but a predator. Pleased with the effects of her actions. It brings a deep burn to my cheeks where she caresses me and continues her purring words, "I want you."

Languid and soft her fingers trace circles along my taut muscles. My stomach clenches so tight they could snap if I dared moved from her embrace. Each sinew and link under skin was a wire overstretched. One false touch from her could break me. She had a hold on me now and she was aware. The predator much unlike what to others she had shown. She hid it well.

No, this moment imperfect from my dreams I still wanted it. My hardened soldier and waking heart be damned. Pull me into your trap, my Vanille.

With a growl a snatch her hard that she gasps as if pained from my tight grip. She falls against me. "You want me to fuck you." It was not a suggestion or question or request. It was fact. I held her as tight as I could as if in this moment a alternate reality could happen and I could pull her so tight to me we would be joined. Absorbed into my self to carry always as a trophy. We could be one her and I. Vanille shivered at my fierce eyes. The cold facade of Lightning was gone and it was my true face all consuming passion. Claire.

She practically groaned as I kissed her neck. Biting hard and soothing with my tongue. I felt her soft hand come between us along my chest grasping at me like a woman possessed and then I felt her fingers on my throat. She squeezed hard and it cut my breath short. Fumbling back on my usually sure feet I was forced hard against the opposite wall. My head pounded off of it and before I could react to the light throb of pain her nails had dug into my shoulder as she nipped and sucked my bottom lip between her teeth.

"You are my pet tonight," she whispered in my ear before sucking my earlobe between her teeth. I felt a tingle shock straight through me from between my legs. Unconsciously my hips moved against her. Vanille grabbed my ass and pulled me tighter into her as I moved again. The pressure on my clit made my head swim with ecstasy.

However, it was short lived. As I recall it now I was surprised by her strength when her hand relaxed from the digging grip on my shoulder only to push me down while commanding me, "get on your knees."

Definitely so far from that sweet innocent Vanille. This side to her if it was real or false only made my feelings deepen. I complied with every command with fervor. On my knees I waited as she stared me in the eyes. Strange I remember seeing something for a small moment in them. A bit of uncertainty? Or sadness? It was strange but all thought left me as she gripped my hair at the base of my neck and viciously tugged it back so she could see my face in full. Vanille told me to pull off her skirt. I tugged them down rough and revealed her panties. Pink lace that I could see through and noticed her shaven clean. Her scent hit me and I bit my lip.

"Touch me." She told me and I was too eager to reply as I tried snaking my fingers under the band of the lace but she grabs my fingers to halt my movement tight grasping me in a painful manner that causes me to wince. "Follow my instructions." Her teeth were clamped and she growled through those clandestine teeth. I did not understand. It was then she sighed exasperated and rolled her eyes for comic effect that I could not help but smirk at. "It is important for you to do as I say. I told you. You are my pet tonight."

Her strength caught me off guard again as I tried to pull free from her small hands. She continued as if nothing happened "there is a fantasy that I want to use you for." She said as she pulls my hand along her bare smooth thighs. "I want you to fuck me Light," she began to run her fingers through my hair like soothing an animal. "I want to feel you inside me and I want to feel as though you came inside me."

My eyes grew wide. Did I hear her right?

"You are gorgeous, strong and dominating. I want all of that. I want to dominate you and tell you every way I want you to please me. I want you to enjoy it like you are giving me your ultimate release. You are a woman but I want to feel like you cannot control yourself. It isn't possible to feel you come like that but to pretend..."

I nodded fervently. I knew what she meant. Sex like that is uninhibited. Sliding inside of her and her pleading to feel me release and controlled by my strong attraction to just her. It was an ultimate fantasy for Vanille and I wanted to make it happen. I was all hers tonight no matter what tomorrow would bring.

"Good girl." My body betrayed me as I shook at those words. She was sexier than I ever thought possible. "Now touch me." Vanille moved my hands to strike her outside the lace and I could feel the hot rush of wetness soaking my fingers. "Here." She growled out and I felt her twitch.

"Do you want me to-"

"No stay still. Let me do this." She released her grip on my hand and I stayed still but keeping a firm pressure against her as she grinded along my fingers. I was entranced by her movements. Her hips rolled and dipped as she softly mewled. She pulled her too off and my glance focused up to her bare chest. Her breasts were small and pert and her hands groped them pulling at her nipples.

"That feels so fucking good."

Graceful and gentle she reached to hold my head between her hands. She had stopped moving and then guided my mouth to press my lips against her stomach. She felt like velvet. My unsure tongue trailed slow right above her panties and I felt the delicate but rough fabric against my lower lip. So slow I took the fabric between my teeth. I looked into her eyes as I let my hands reach up and grab her firm behind for support as I dragged my mouth down pulling the panties with it. The fabric pulling away revealing her fully to me.

My mouth was watering.

Vanille was smiling as stepped out of her undergarment. "Taste me."

xXx

"You've been such a good girl." She groaned as my movements picked up. It was furious desperate movements against each other. The slick of her pussy was wetting mine. I could still taste her juices on my mouth. I had followed every request and she came over and over. Insatiable were her desires and both our bodies were straining. I could feel her swollen clit circling mine. I looked into her eyes and saw how her face was hard with concentration. Beautifully twisted with our mutual pleasure. Her forehead beaded with sweat and her hair sticking with it.

Seeing her like this I felt that annoying tug in my chest again that I did not understand. Vanille was so...

"Beautiful." I couldn't stop the words escaping as my body started to tense. Vanille sensed it before I did as if she was completely in tune with me. I had not come yet but my body was prepared. She bit down hard on my shoulder and the pain seemed to reset my building orgasm. She was controlling me as she had since she kissed me. I was completely hers now as she marked me with that sharp bite.

"Not yet." She gasped out. "Inside me. Before you come." Vanille grabbed me and licked my lips so I would open my mouth. I did allowing her in and gently sucked her tongue. She groaned in my mouth and if she hadn't dug her nails in again I would have came.

As she kissed me I raised my hips from hers and out two fingers between us, teasing her opening. "Just like that." She purred into my mouth and I could feel her smile against my lips. I licked along them as I pressed in making her pant and open her mouth at the sudden shock of it. I pulled back out and plunged in again illiciting a desperate moan as her head rolled back against the pillows.

My thoughts raced unable to grasp a single thought. I was her good slave and now she was rewarding me by letting me fuck her like this. Letting me dominate. I knew no more than two fingers were needed as I felt how tight her virginal little cunt was. There was resistance even with how wet she was. I slipped in and out but everytime her walls clenched around my fingers perfectly in time with my thrusting hips.

I felt powerful like this. As hers, she controlled me digging her nails deep into my back making me yell out in painful pleasure. I could no longer control my frantic thrusting. My fingers were going so far in as I pounded into her fast and deep. I was on the verge. Our sounds becoming just a dull echo in the night as we reached climax.

Then she said it pulling my hair. What she wanted the whole fantasy. "Come inside me. I want to feel you come."

All my muscles seized and I stopped my movement releasing a stuttering gasp as a wave of a powerful orgasm ripped through my body. My vision bloomed with a thousand stars, heart raging and my head made light as if disconnected from my body. It hit me over again like a beautiful crescendo and I thrust again with every utterance of my pleasure from deep in my chest. I collapsed on Vanille panting and drenched in sweat. When I did I felt realized that she had came the same as I and now we were both riding it out in the afterglow. Our bodies completely spent but alight with a feeling... Indescribable.

I lifted myself on shaky arms after several long moments pressed against her small perfect body. Vanille reached up clasping her fingers around my neck and softly kissing my face all over except my mouth.

"What a good little stud you were fucking me like that." I smiled at her words in spite of myself, overly proud of my performance. She pulled me down against her chest. "Just rest now my pet. You deserve it."

Hers...

My body began to relax against her and I tried hard resisting sleep. My body aches from how she marked me with nails and teeth. She called me hers if only for tonight, and I tried to ignore the sinking feeling of knowing the morning it wouldn't be the same. No matter how I wanted to be hers always.

This feeling I don't deserve regarding Vanille. My shame. I don't deserve to be hers and she could never be mine. But as I close my eyes I whisper soft against her skin with a uneasy sigh...

"My Vanille."