Second Chance
'Ashitare fell into the icy black abyss of death, cursing the day his mother gave birth to him'... As I typed these last few words of my sadistic story, I began to weep silently. "Miaka, you have to begin to try to let go. I understand your emotions; we all do. But Nuriko is gone. Forever. Accept it, baby." I whirled to face the man I had once considered to be the most important person in my life, the person I would love for all time. Was he still? "How can I possibly just let him go? You must be insane, to think I could ever, ever do that. Just leave me alone, please, just for a bit..." Tamahome's bewildered face and my own shocked heart reminded me of how out-of-character such behavior was for me. As Tamahome stormed out of my palace room, I reflected on my actions. I knew that I was usually cheerful and chipper, sometimes to an extent that was sickening to others, but my natural disposition forced me to behave as such, or at least try. Until now....Nuriko's death had unsettled me to the point that I could not even talk civilly to the one I loved most in all the world. What was wrong with me? As these final thoughts crossed my mind, and I decided to find Tamahome and apologize, he stormed back into my room. "Tamahome!" I cried. "I'm sor..." "Miaka, if you think that I'm just going to take this abuse, you are dead wrong! Men weren't made for such treatment!" With that, my true love slapped me smartly across the face, and a single thought penetrated my dumbfounded state- I no longer loved Tamahome, and hadn't for a long time.
I stayed in my room for quite a while after Tamahome left. The pain of his outburst and the scalding lecture he gave afterwards stung worse than the blow ever could, but in a way, I was relieved that it was all over. For a while, though, I was inconsolable. "He always loved me before, but now he's abandoned me..." A flash of revelation came as I realized...it wasn't Tamahome that I was afraid had abandoned me, but someone entirely different. It was Nuriko that I had always loved. My tears began again, full-fledged, not over the loss of Tamahome, whom I had needed to substitute in Yui's place in my affections. I wept at the loss of the man that I had only just realized I was in love with, and was now gone forever.
I awoke. It seemed as if I had been dead eternally, but not all at once. How can I possibly explain this? I could remember my death and life as if they were both zillions of years ago and yesterday all at once. I could not remember actually being dead, but it was as if I was in a very sound sleep for decades. Above all, I had an overwhelming sense of De Ja Vu. So this is what the afterlife looks like. Rather drab, isn't it? In fact, my surroundings appeared to be little more than a tasteless, mod-style apartment for 1, complete with black and white striped couch and rug. Suddenly, a wondrous sight appeared before me: a giant-sized man/god with a ruthless face and a heart of pure ice. It was, of course, the God we all know and love as Tenkou. "Hey, if this is heaven, it ain't going to be one heck of an afterlife, and on that note, I'd like to see my other options." I remarked teasingly to the god. I should probably explain something here: once you enter the afterlife as a seishi, you remain a servant of your personal beast-god but also answer to the God of the Underworld, who was at that time Tenkou. "Silence, fool! Would you like to hear what I have to say or would you prefer that I strand you here for all eternity?" "Proceed, Tenkou-sama." I replied meekly. "Your actions while on earth have been judged, and the powers that be have decreed that you lived unselfishly and died a hero's death, a death to save the lives of those you loved best." "Well, yeah. I'm a seishi. Death comes with the job description. What about Kourin? Was it okay for her to die? What about Tamahome's family? Did they deserve to be brutally murdered? Why me?" I interrupted, albeit snappily, my emotions hopelessly entangled within my heart and mind. Tenkou sarcastically replied, "Well, you're our lucky winner! You have the option of.... dun dun dun reincarnation!" "Come again??...." "Byakko, Genbu and Suzaku, being such celestial idiots, have decreed that every hero, martyr, savior, messiah, or what-have-you gets a special lucky number. We put all the numbers in a biiiiiiiig pot, and I do mean big. Aspiring heroes are more numerous today than cheesy Elvis impersonators. Seems to be the newest craze... anyway, we mix all the numbers up and pull one out. Yours was picked. Lucky you. Congratttttulations." Tenkou told me with even more sarcasm in his voice. "Waiiiiiiiiit, so you're telling me that life is now being siphoned out by chance in the heavens like money is on Publisher's Clearing House?? And you're my own personal Ed McMahon????" "I suppose you could say that." Tenkou said with a 'if only looks could kill' glare in his eyes. "Then I definitely do not like this mystery prize. It's not fair at all, and I can't accept a new life. What about all of the other people who die every day for causes far more noble then mine? If you ask me, death should never be tampered with. The dead should stay dead." "Sorry, buddy, but you don't get an option." "Huh? You said...." "I lied. You simply get the choice of what body you want to go back in." "Can't I have my own?" "Certainly. You can also choose one more.... appealing." "Heyyyy, what are you trying to say?" "Simply this- You love the priestess, do you not? One of your options is to assume the body of a living human being." "Wha........ what are you talking about???" "Tamahome. If you become him, the priestess is yours."
As this new information sunk into my brain, one thing became obvious to me. "If I take over Tamahome's body, won't he die?" "This is true. Come now, Nuriko, sometimes sacrifices have to be made to achieve your heart's desire. To get what you want, you must be ruthless."