Title: The Exam Room

Author: John Faina

Ratings/Warnings: PG-13 for innuendo

Pairings/Characters: House/Wilson, Cuddy

Disclaimer: Own House? Nope.

Genre: Romance/Friendship

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Author's Note: This one is set before Season 1, but I have no qualms if you wish to place it within Seasons 1 or 2.

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Before the two men exited what was now to be jokingly labeled their examination room, Wilson remembered the particular mess he'd made and quickly used a few baby wipes to clean it up, while House chuckled behind him.

It was absurd, but - the mere presence of the older man at that precise moment set his nerves on fire, after they had begun to settle. What were they supposed to do now? The close bond of friendship that had not taken long at all to establish was obviously shattered - but was that a wonderful thing, or was it frightening? Wilson thought it could be both. Although this was something he had wanted practically all along...he decided that he would just see where it led them. After disposing of the dirtied wipes, he returned to stand in front of House, who swiftly pecked him on the lips. Wilson raised his eyebrows, grinning; it was going to take a while for him to get used to that. House winked. Wilson rolled his brown eyes, shaking his head, but, of course, still grinning.

"Is there any possible way we can leave here? Or should we hide out until midnight?"

"Midnight," House responded at once in a low voice. "Sounds fun."

Wilson couldn't keep his grin from growing. With some additional humiliation, he felt his cheeks heat up, and ducked his head in an effort to hide the fact from the most brilliant man he'd ever known - the man who scarcely missed a thing. House ducked his head as well, forcing him to meet his eyes. There was a hint of a smile on his scruffy features and something kin to affection.

"I love the way you love that idea..." he said, seeking another kiss. Wilson granted it, winding his arms around House's middle to deepen it. A few minutes of tongues, small groans, and shortness of breath later, the older man pushed him away, holding him at arm's length with moist, swollen lips. Wilson tried not to stare, but failed miserably. It was just...the way House's blue eyes gleamed with emotions seldom seen by anyone but him...it made him feel something too. It always had. Something times ten. He watched as House regained the power to breathe properly and then swallow.

"We can't start that again," he joked. "They're gonna need this room eventually."

Wilson nodded, agreeing, though he wanted nothing more than to skip out on the rest of the day and drag House to some hotel to stay for at least two weeks. "I guess we should...you know. Get out of here."

House pulled a face that clearly expressed his distaste for the idea, but turned for the door with Wilson on his heels. Grabbing the silver door handle, House slowly opened it, peeking his head outside, and holding up an index finger inside. Wilson fell back, feeling slightly nervous, a feeling which mixed oddly with his feelings of excitement and contentment. House ducked back in, whispering, "We're clear. Let's go before the people who heard us earlier walk by again to confirm." His eyes sparkled with mischief and entertainment.

Wilson didn't need telling twice. They shot from the room, glancing left and right as discreetly as they could, and headed in opposite directions: House for the nearest elevator, and Wilson for the staircase. When he thought on it, however, he realized that this act was more probable to raise suspicion than if they'd simply gotten on the same elevator. That's what they always did. People were used to it. And just as he'd politely nodded to a nurse in purple scrubs, he heard a sound that caused the bottom to drop out of his stomach.

"Doctor Wilson!"

He whirled around, gripping the rail of the staircase, in time to see House turn back as well as the elevator doors slid open. Their boss, Lisa Cuddy, had come out of her office and was currently staring up at him, while pointing over at House, who threw up his hands in surrender.

"If both of you would be so kind as to enter my office. Now."

His eyes darting all about the room, his stomach twisting into all sorts of grotesque knots, Wilson gradually began to descend the stairs. Across from him, House allowed the elevator doors to slide closed again, and they both made for Cuddy, the center. He could feel the eyes of nurses and their few patients alike follow the three of them until they were safely locked away in their destination. Well, not really locked, but that was how Wilson immediately felt as Cuddy pulled the door closed, and drew the blinds. He let out a shaky breath. She most definitely knew. House glanced at him, then away again, his grip rather tight on the handle of his cane.

Cuddy, wearing a pencil-straight skirt and a colorful, low-cut blouse, cut in between them to get to her desk, where she turned, leaning against it. She folded her arms across her chest and opened her mouth to speak.

"It won't happen again," House said gruffly before she had the chance. The entertainment was gone from his eyes.

Wilson closed his own in a pathetic attempt to remove himself from the situation. Cuddy was silent for a moment before she exhaled.

"First of all..." she began hesitantly. It was clear just from her tone that she was uncomfortable. Inwardly, Wilson winced. "First of all, what made you guys think you could get away with...? Second of all, when did...? And why...?"

Wilson opened his eyes to gauge her expression. Her perfectly shaped eyebrows were contracted in what appeared to be extreme concentration and confusion as she struggled to figure out how she could have possibly missed something like this. Next to him, House cleared his throat.

"We might could help you out if your questions were, you know, complete."

Wilson rolled his eyes. "House, don't - " he broke off, turning to his boss with an apologetic air. "Um...it was...we discovered today, um, that we..."

"Have the extreme hots for each other," House finished.

"For God's sake - " he muttered, looking away, his cheeks flaming up for the second time.

Cuddy opened her mouth, but didn't seem to know quite what to say. She appraised them as if suspicious that they might actually be playing some sort of joke on her. But Wilson knew that she would not believe that for long...they didn't exactly hide their flirtacious manner, and everyone on staff knew that House sometimes only took on cases because Wilson asked him to in his special way...Not to mention the fact that House had never eaten lunch with anyone at all before he came along to the hospital. There had been jokes from the start about their friendship - never had anyone seen House so honestly taken with someone. Cuddy would think over all of this and realize the truth, just as they had.

Slowly, she nodded, staring back and forth between them. "Okay...okay. I can see it. It's - kind of unexpected, but - yes. I always thought that you" - she nodded toward House - "had a...thing for me actually. You've never led me to believe that you..."

"Prefer my lovers to have that brown hair, brown eyes combo? Yes. Sorry I never mentioned it. They also need to be just a little bit shorter than me."

She chuckled dazedly. "This is...insane. Just to confirm - a couple of our nurses thought they heard - I mean, just to make sure their isn't any miscommunication here - You guys did just have sex in the Clinic. Right?"

Wilson and House glanced at each other. Wilson, of couse, felt like hiding his face in his hands and never coming out, but House answered her question as if there was no act he'd ever commited that had made him more proud. And maybe there wasn't.

"Right. Anything else you want to know? You want the details maybe...You want to know that we were so eager, we kept our shirts on and just - "

"House!" both Cuddy and Wilson cried at the same time.

In a moment of pure desperation, Wilson pleaded, "Doctor Cuddy - is that it? I need to get him out before he really - "

"Yes, you can go. Just please try and refrain from those types of acts at work from now on. Please."

Wilson nodded, grabbed House by the crook of the elbow, and began dragging him out of the office. As the glass door closed behind them, House shouted, "There's no need to be ashamed!"

"Don't - House - "

To the crowd of staff members and patients who were still milling about the lobby, he continued, ignoring Wilson's pleas. They had all whirled around at his first proclamation; there was no getting out of it now.

"Yes! I, Gregory House, had sex with James Wilson, and he with me!"

Wilson glanced back over his shoulder at Cuddy, as gasps were heard all around; she shook her head at the carpeted floor, pinching the bridge of her nose. The lobby was still. Then, all at once, talk broke out excitedly at the latest piece of gossip.

Feeling as though someone had thrown a brick at his face, Wilson didn't bother to smile at anyone who shot one his way, or the opposite. Instead, he seized House once more and dragged him into an elevator. As soon as the doors had closed, he opened his mouth furiously, but House was one step ahead of him, and put a hand over his mouth. Wilson, childishly, longed to bite it. He grabbed it with his own, intending to yank it away, but House shot him an intense look.

"Stop. I forgot."

Wilson glared at him. But, even as humilated as he was, he could not bring himself to be truly angry with House. The events of earlier easily overruled anything else. And House had just admitted that he was wrong, hadn't he? He blinked. House took away his hand.

"You...forgot? You forgot what?"

"You detest anyone knowing what you consider to be your business. You greatly value your privacy."

Whatever anger Wilson had melted completely. Not once had he ever told House that bit of information about himself. The fact that House paid that much attention to him continued to shock him, while at the same time, flatter him. What was it about him that was so "interesting"?

House seemed to take his silence as a positive thing.

"But you should know that I never would have forgotten if it weren't for the fact that I can now do this." He placed a hand on the back of Wilson head, pressing his lips to the space in between his eyebrows. Wilson closed his eyes, the bridge of his nose coming into contact with House's stubbly chin, and smiled to himself. House kissed that spot twice, then pecked his nose. "And being able to do that puts me on top of the world, so I figured everyone should know who they should be bowing down to from now on."

Wilson sighed, leaning back against one wall. "I can't decide if I should make fun of you from now until the end of time, or ask you to marry me."

"What is that, your natural instinct?" House asked as the doors opened with a ping! They got out, heading for House's office. "Haven't you got two of those marriage thingies tucked up your belt?"

"Shut up."

But Wilson was smiling, and so was House.