* It was 2 o'clock in the morning when I wrote this. I'm not sure what I
was thinking or what I'd been taking, but hey, it's the 'noughties'! This
is what happens when you're a lonely, single, 16-year-old girl that loves
Pokémon. You go nuts.
1. The Twerp Gets Hormones
"It's another sunny day for the twerp trio. Pidgeys are singing; the world has never seemed more at peace. This is not the case, of course, when you are a member of team rocket. Jesse, James and Meath have blasted off once again. But this time the humiliation is too much, even for them."
"Oh," James sighed. "We're never going to catch a break."
"Meowth gotta break.in his tail!" whined Meowth. Jesse was aggravated. "Quit your complaining. We've got to come up with a plan to steal that Pikachu."
"Is one Pikachu really worth all this pain? I think we should capture wild Pokémon and just train them."
"James, are you suggesting that we raise Pokémon the honest way? That's ridiculous!" Oh well, he thought. It was worth a try.
"Meowth's gotta plan!" The scratch-cat sneered. They all cackled evilly as they listened in on it.
"The twerp won't know what's coming to him," Jesse laughed.
The twer- sorry, Ash was enjoying the sunshine. His pasty skin was finally getting some colour on it. Anything would do to hide his new acne. Poor Ash had just had his 15th birthday, and as usual, he was behind everyone else physically and mentally. He blushed, remembering how, 3 years ago, he asked Brock to explain about sex. Ash wanted to know what Spearows and Beedrills (birds and bees, geddit?) had to do with making babies. Brock didn't stop laughing for a week. Ash hoped that he didn't say anything to Misty. She teased him enough already. He was beginning to see old friends in a new light. The other day he had been reading a training magazine and seen a picture of Prima. He couldn't move for half-an-hour. He just sat and drooled. Ash realised that he was turning into Brock. Oh, the shame. He glanced at Brock in his pink apron making some noodle soup (of course, if I were one of them Yankee translators, I'd claim it was a milkshake or a hamburger). "Hey Ash! Do you want a sushi roll/doughnut with your soup/shake?" Ash jumped out of his daydream involving Prima and a wet t- shirt. "Er.sure, Brock. Hey, where's Misty?" Brock stroked his new goatee thoughtfully. "I think she took Togepi out for a walk. She'll be back soon Ash." The way he said the last sentence made Ash angry. Like I can't live without her, he thought. He admitted to himself, that whenever he saw her he wanted to have her up against the wall. But he put it down to the testosterone coursing through his veins.
James had a very different problem. Jesse had grown out of the friendship phase and was hinting that she wanted more. He'd tried over the years to put her (and other women) off by acting gay. It seemed to attract them even more. He sighed. "I'm just too sexy for my own good." He wished he hadn't said it out loud. Meowth heard him and laughed raucously at his expense. "If only you knew the torment of being a blue-haired Adonis." Meowth laughed even harder. "Fine!" huffed James as he stormed out.
1. The Twerp Gets Hormones
"It's another sunny day for the twerp trio. Pidgeys are singing; the world has never seemed more at peace. This is not the case, of course, when you are a member of team rocket. Jesse, James and Meath have blasted off once again. But this time the humiliation is too much, even for them."
"Oh," James sighed. "We're never going to catch a break."
"Meowth gotta break.in his tail!" whined Meowth. Jesse was aggravated. "Quit your complaining. We've got to come up with a plan to steal that Pikachu."
"Is one Pikachu really worth all this pain? I think we should capture wild Pokémon and just train them."
"James, are you suggesting that we raise Pokémon the honest way? That's ridiculous!" Oh well, he thought. It was worth a try.
"Meowth's gotta plan!" The scratch-cat sneered. They all cackled evilly as they listened in on it.
"The twerp won't know what's coming to him," Jesse laughed.
The twer- sorry, Ash was enjoying the sunshine. His pasty skin was finally getting some colour on it. Anything would do to hide his new acne. Poor Ash had just had his 15th birthday, and as usual, he was behind everyone else physically and mentally. He blushed, remembering how, 3 years ago, he asked Brock to explain about sex. Ash wanted to know what Spearows and Beedrills (birds and bees, geddit?) had to do with making babies. Brock didn't stop laughing for a week. Ash hoped that he didn't say anything to Misty. She teased him enough already. He was beginning to see old friends in a new light. The other day he had been reading a training magazine and seen a picture of Prima. He couldn't move for half-an-hour. He just sat and drooled. Ash realised that he was turning into Brock. Oh, the shame. He glanced at Brock in his pink apron making some noodle soup (of course, if I were one of them Yankee translators, I'd claim it was a milkshake or a hamburger). "Hey Ash! Do you want a sushi roll/doughnut with your soup/shake?" Ash jumped out of his daydream involving Prima and a wet t- shirt. "Er.sure, Brock. Hey, where's Misty?" Brock stroked his new goatee thoughtfully. "I think she took Togepi out for a walk. She'll be back soon Ash." The way he said the last sentence made Ash angry. Like I can't live without her, he thought. He admitted to himself, that whenever he saw her he wanted to have her up against the wall. But he put it down to the testosterone coursing through his veins.
James had a very different problem. Jesse had grown out of the friendship phase and was hinting that she wanted more. He'd tried over the years to put her (and other women) off by acting gay. It seemed to attract them even more. He sighed. "I'm just too sexy for my own good." He wished he hadn't said it out loud. Meowth heard him and laughed raucously at his expense. "If only you knew the torment of being a blue-haired Adonis." Meowth laughed even harder. "Fine!" huffed James as he stormed out.