Authors Note: This story was previously posted but I removed it and due to my recent life realization I've done quite a bit of editing and decided to repost this on a much more mature and broader spectrum. The story line and chapters are basically the same as before it's just been some adding, subtracting and rewording. So without further ado, once more, chapter one of Her Little Rebel

Dedicated to: xXHina-ChanXx

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Bold: Flashbacks

Italics: Thoughts

Underlined: Lyrics

Song: Dear Agony By: Breaking Benjamin

Her Little Rebel

I have nothing left to give

I have found the perfect end

My room, freezing cold just like her touch. My ceiling fan, on high so I can feel the cold sting of the air burn my skin. My once warm heart torn from my chest and resting with her, my pure innocence lying in rough hands, and my warm smile melted with the sun. I now lie naked baring my body to the dark depths of torture. No food, no sleep, no warmth; only scars and goosebumps. No love, and no hate.

You were made to make it hurt

Disappear into the dirt

Hate, the only feeling of emotion I had, now nothing. He brought me into this world and made me suffer. He made every bruise, every broken bone, every cutting word hurt deep. I hated him for it, the hate gave me something to harness to use. But now, as he lies 6 feet under I lost the hate, now it's nothing.

Carry me to heaven's arms

Light the way and let me go

Take the time to take my breath

They took her from me, my strength, my hope, my love. I can't see her, I can't feel her, and I can't hear her. Tears form in my eyes at the bitter truth. Reaching beneath my pillow I remove the sharpened blade Hinata gave me. Flipping it open I examined the blood crusted blade before once again placing it to my skin. Falling into the sweet bliss of the cold steel I allow the burning cut to envelope me into a deep embrace of pain. Pushing deeper this time I feel a bit light headed, while the blood pools out thicker. Could this be it?

I will end where I began

Slowly the pain swallows me until I'm numb, the slight dizziness becomes complete dizziness. Alone, again...just the way I started

And I will find the enemy within

Cause I can feel it crawl beneath my skin

This is all my fault. If I wasn't so weak, and so naive back then, I wouldn't be having this issue. Standing slowly I let the blade slip to the floor as I walk to my mirror, examining my all too bright pink hair, my long legs, pudgy face and stomach, my clear lack of muscle tone and my godforsaken bright green eyes. Look at myself, I'm ugly...my hair never right, my stomach too fat, my eyes too bright, and my legs too tall. Tightening my fist I swing at the mirror, only successfully bruising my hand and failing to shatter the glass. Opening my hand I look down at it examining the tiny hands of a girl that has lost so much that seemed to be just within her grasp.

Dear Agony

Just let go of me

Suffer slowly

Is this the way it's gotta be?

Dear Agony

My eyes scan up to my bleeding arms and the pain is sharp and steady but the dizziness isn't getting worse. Without her I'm nothing... "Just kill me already!" I cry out as I grab the lamp off the table and throw it causing the shattering of glass to echo through the room. Why?! Why me?

Suddenly

The lights go out

The shattered lamp shuts off and I'm left in the darkness. Sinking to the floor I once again reach for the knife. As the darkness swallows me I feel another gash of pain on my thigh, as the cold air of the room seems to sting my skin and open wounds more harshly.

Let forever

Drag me down

My mothers words echo through my head. "You are never allowed to see Hinata again, ever again." I need her...I love her... Gritting my teeth I grab my damp pink locks in anger and pain. Slowly I begin rocking back and forth as tears roll down my cheeks.

I will fight for one last breath

I will fight until the end

No! She's mine! Jumping to my feet a little too quickly as my head floods and I nearly lose my balance I make my way quickly to my dresser. Despite my blurry vision from loss of blood I beat on the lock box holding my cell phone, the box my mother locked. My knuckles turned bloody and red. I will fight for her! Beating on the metal box I let my tears fall harder. "Please...Hina..."

And I will find the enemy within

Cause I can feel it crawl beneath my skin

Look at this Sakura! You're still too weak! Useless, pathetic! A little cupcake just like you were always told! Sinking to the floor again I stop hitting the box. Curling my naked blood covered body up in a ball I cry hard on the floor.

Dear Agony

Just let go of me

Suffer slowly

Is this the way it's gotta be?

Don't bury me

Faceless enemy

I'm so sorry

Is this the way it's gotta be?

Dear Agony

I open my mouth, and scream. I scream so loud and so long my throat begins to burn and ache. Why can't I just die already?! Why must life fuck me over and over?! My head is now pounding as images of her eyes, her bright smile, her beautiful face plague my thoughts painfully. "I'm sorry Hina, I'm so sorry Im not there with you.."

Leave me alone

God let me go

I'm blue and cold

Black sky will burn

I shivered heavily on the ground begging life to let me slip into the dark abyss. Let me die so this suffering can end...

Love pull me down

Hate lift me up

Just turn around

There's nothing left

My own flesh and blood took what little bit of love I had and forced Hinata away. He brought out my hate growing me into this monster. His hate is now gone, and Hinata's love is too far to grasp. There's nothing left of me..

Somewhere far beyond this world

I feel nothing anymore

I continue to shiver in a ball yet I don't feel cold. My cuts have numbed so I feel no pain, the dizziness and blurriness cloud my thoughts and visions.

Dear Agony

Just let go of me

Suffer slowly

Is this the way it's gotta be?

Don't bury me

Faceless enemy

I'm so sorry

Is this the way it's gotta be?

Dear Agony

Lifting the blade one final time I place it against my skin. Hinata I love you Babe... "Let me go."

I feel nothing anymore

Lifting my face before I end it all I stare into the mirror. Ice cold, bloodshot emerald eyes stare back. I've been as good as dead since she left...

"Sakura," a soft sweet voice whispered. My head snapped to the sound, and I watch Hinata climb through my window. Dropping the knife I wobbly stand and grab her. She never mentioned my naked or bleeding state but instead took me into her arms and held me close. "How?" I whispered gently as tears fell. "You always leave your window unlocked Sweetheart. I just never needed to use it till now." A felt a lump in my throat as I realized how often she's been right here and I never knew. "Now come on, it's time to stop this," she said pulling away and glancing at my arms, "fight it, fight her, fight the world. Rebel against all of it, turn into something she fears. Your mother knows if you best her and become better than her she will grow weak and she will fear you, she may be your guardian but don't let her or anyone control you like this. Rebel." She reached down and grabbed my hand carefully, intertwining fingers. "And through that rebellion Sakura, you will find a stronger love."