THIS IS FANFICTION. THINK ABOUT THAT.
When Juvia walked into the guild, she was immediately waved over to the bar, where Cana, Mira, Evergreen, Levy, and Juvia's love-rival were sitting, giggling loudly, the latter two flushed.
Mira set down a cocktail for her. "We're talking about our first times." She said coyly.
Juvia blinked. "First times doing... what?"
Cana rolled her eyes. "Having sex, silly. Its your turn."
Juvia sat down next to Levy and took a sip. of her drink. "Ah. Juvia sees. That would be Gajeel-kun, then."
The effect of the words was instantaneous. The glass Mirajane had been cleaning dropped to the floor. Cana's drink splattered across the bar, spit out in shock. Evergreen was frozen, looking somewhere between amusement and revulsion. Love-rival was coughing, having swallowed wrong, and Levy had fallen off her barstool. All five of them regarded Juvia in what could really only be described as horror.
"What?" Love-rival finally managed to say, her voice cracking.
Juvia gave them a confused look. "Gajeel-kun." She repeated. "Back when Juvia was still in Phantom Lord."
Mira's eyes glinted dangerously. "Where?"
Juvia took another sip of the cocktail. "Oh, Juvia and Gajeel-kun did it in lots of places. Gajeel-kun's bed, Juvia's bed, Totomaru-san's house, the tables at the guild hall." She tilted her head thoughtfully. "There were also several bathhouses we visited on missions."
Cana burst out laughing... as did Natsu, who was sitting on the other side of the guild next to Gray, Elfman, and Bixlow. Dragon-slayer level hearing had its advantages. Levy, on the other hand, was still on the floor, now motionless.
Juvia knocked down the rest of her drink. "It was purely physical, of course. Now, Juvia only has eyes for Gray-sama," she finished, eyes shining. She looked at the other girls, who were still staring at her. "What?"
Mira, fully recovered, just shook her head, trying not to laugh. "Nothing, Juvia. Don't worry about it." She handed Juvia another cocktail.
Juvia smiled happily. "Who's turn is it now, then?"
I KNOW, I KNOW, BUT I CAN'T HELP BUT SHIP THEM IN THE DEEPEST, DARKEST PITS OF MY HEART.