"Sheldon! Stop it. I am NOT wearing THAT only for your amusement and pleasure!" Amy shouted in Sheldon's room as Penny and Leonard entered the apartment and were heading to Leonard's room. Then, Amy continued: "Unless... you give me first your BIG-"
"Woah-h hey-ay! ... Penny I think we should just hang out at your apartment, NOW." Leonard said as they both heard weird loud noises coming from Sheldon's bedroom.
"Um, yeah, I agree. I still haven't get used to the fact of the Shamy getting it on. I didn't know our little Shelly was into kinky stuff..." Penny finished saying and closed the door. They entered 4B and Leonard added: "I know. Well, it was obvious Sheldon had finally reached puberty after that long summer he and Amy spent away riding trains. I imagined Sheldon and Amy couldn't resist being apart from each other more than 10 days. And, of course they met up at some location near Napa Valley or something after a week, and I am very happy for both of them. But it still DOES NOT mean we want to hear him getting laid 24/7." Penny laughed and said to Leonard: "I know. I am still traumatized by the way we all found out they were doing it. Man! Those two are loud!"
When Sheldon and Amy had returned from their summer travelling in trains, they were both tormented with questions if they had finally done it after seeing them so happy holding hands, kissing and hugging in a much more regular basis than before. Howard insisted in mocking Sheldon about finally hitting puberty. Amy was starting to feel the harassment and mocking could jeopardize Sheldon's progress in showing her intimacy, therefore, she proposed to him a solution so they could make everyone else stop asking them so many questions about their relationship.
"Amy! Have you gone completely mad! Do you want to give them MORE reasons to mock us?!" Sheldon said as Amy finalized presenting him her idea.
"Oh, c'mon, Sheldon! BELIEVE me! This will assure us privacy and will DEFINITELY stop our torture." Amy answered.
"Oh I believe to disagree! And, even if I accepted your idea, how do you propose we accomplish such task?" Sheldon said. He was more calmed and relaxed but still doubted Amy's idea would work.
"Well, very easy. A sex tape." Amy said.
"A SEX T-" Sheldon screamed. "I am not going to do a sex tape with you to show to other people!"
"Oh, well not exactly a tape as in video tape, you see. I propose we simply record an explicit, detailed, traumatizing audio tape of us having sex." Amy explained herself.
"Oh, well that could work, but I am not sure if I am ready to… you know… not that I wouldn't want to but… umm…" Sheldon said regarding the matter of getting engaged in coitus with Amy. He was willing to do it, but he wasn't sure the right time had come.
"Oh! No, no, no! Sheldon, of course not! We are not going to actually engage in coitus, we are just going to pretend we have by recording a very interesting audio tape." Amy said trying to seem calm after Sheldon confessing he would eventually engage in coitus with her not only because he feels he owes it to her, but because he wants to commit to her he also wants it. Amy knew Sheldon was slowly walking through that road, a very bumpy road. She didn't want to make a big deal about it, so she just continued explaining Sheldon what they had to do. And they did.
Sheldon and Amy finished listening their creation and were ready to surprise the gang and recover their privacy. "Amy, I am impressed by your editing skills, wow… it is very… realistic. Are you sure it will work? And, isn't it too much? That is the most explicit, graphic, detailed, dirty, kinky and loud content I have ever been exposed to."
"I know, Sheldon. But we have to try. Either it finishes the mocking, or…" Amy said as Sheldon interrupted: "...or it worsens it." Sheldon said in a worried tone.
"Yes, Sheldon, but it is the only solution I see here. We either take the risk or we live with mocks and harassment."
"Fine. Alright! Let's do it! i mean, let's launch Project Salvation." Sheldon said to Amy as he patted her back.
As usual, the gang met that night at apartment 4-A to have dinner. Sheldon and Amy had decided that if the matter came up to the tablet tonight, they should follow Amy's lead, after she had settled the tension, Sheldon should explode and show the tape. Of course, Sheldon wanted to protest against her leadership but he accepted as he knew she could handle the crowd better than him. Later that night, it wasn't long before the topic was placed on the table.
"You know, Sheldon, even though you are annoying most of the time, we really missed you, and we're glad you're back. We are glad you're back as well, Amy." Leonard said.
"So, Sheldon, when are you going to tell us what you and your lady did on that trip? Did you finally 'gave it to her good'?" Howard said. "Ooo, the looove train had an effect on little Shelly, right, lovebirds?" Raj added.
"Oh, no, um, nothing happened, guys." Amy said.
"Oh come on bestie! Just say it! You and Shelbot got it on!" Penny said.
"Ooooo-" Bernadette said. "Come on, back me up!" she said whispering and hitting Howard's arm.
"Ooooo.." Bernadette and Howard said.
"I am telling you, guys! NOTHING happened. Now, can you please stop asking that." Amy said as the room grew on more tension.
"Oh, why can't you just admit little Shelly grew up and he likes being human and rubbing his body against yours!" Howard said.
"Hey! Stop it!" Sheldon said to Howard.
"Well, if she ain't confessing, would you like to explain what you were doing with Amy locked up in your room last night?" Howard said. "Yeah, Leonard talks, buddy."
"Okay, we're digging a rabbit hole here, so, might as well keep digging, yeah! What WERE you two doing last night?" Leonard finally asked.
"That is NONE of your business!" Sheldon stormed.
"Oh, come on Shelly! No need to get mad, we'll stop if that is what you want…" Penny said.
"Thank you." Sheldon said.
"Yeah, we'll stop… until you two confess you finally got it on, you dog!" Penny finished as she and the rest of the gang started laughing.
Sheldon stormed up and yelled: "ALRIGHT! I AM DONE WITH ALL OF YOU! YOU WANT TO KNOW IF WE AND AMY HAD SEX? FINE! WE'LL TELL YOU! AND I HOPE THESE STOPS YOU ALL FROM HARASSING US AS IT RESOLVES YOUR DOUBTS!" he finished as he started pulling his phone and turning his speakers on while searching for a file.
"Sheldon, what are you doing… oh…" Amy said.
"I am sorry, Amy, but maybe this gives them sufficient material to leave us the hell alone!" Sheldon said as he played the sex tape he and Amy had made last night.
"So yes, that's what we were doing last night! Are you happy? YES! I have sex with my girlfriend! Get over it!" Sheldon finished. The tape started playing and everyone was shocked as the extremely explicit tape went on. "Come on Monkey Queen, ravish me, your mortal love boy!" as the tape revealed some spanking and whipping sounds followed by more explicit content and moans.
Howard said: "Umm, oh.. okay we believe you… um, Bernie, wanna help me out here?"
"Oh don't Bernie me! You released the beast yourself!" Bernadette said to Howard as she covered her ears.
The tape went on: "OH, SHELDON! Don't stop, you majestic love beast!" Amy said as she moaned and then, it was followed by Sheldon moaning and saying: "That's right! God, Amy you're good, go on, oh my my, now turn around and let me shove my D-"
"WHOAH HEY WHY WO OH, STOP IT!" everyone said as Sheldon grabbed his phone and paused the tape. The plan had worked perfectly. "It's pretty clear you two.., um, okay, let me go rest a bit to get over this traumatizing experience." Leonard said, he and Penny, who still couldn't say a word, got out of the living room of 4-A into 4-B. "Yeah, dude, um, I'm sorry we asked about you two-um, wow! look at the time, I gotta go! BYE!" Raj said as he left the apartment. "Yeaah, sorry Sheldon, about that.. um… we...alright-y bye." Howard said.
He got up and grabbed Amy's wrist. Then, Amy said so all of the gang heard before they left: "So, if you excuse us, I am going to go make love to my boyfriend!" And both of them stormed out.
"Oh, Amy! That was brilliant! Look how they remained speechless and traumatized! You're brilliant! I love you!" Sheldon said, as he realised what he had said. The L-word. He started turning red. Amy stood in front of him, very shocked to hear Sheldon's revelation. It was a big deal, but she wasn't sure whether to make a big deal or not. She then said:
"I love you, as well… and well, a brilliant idea needed an amazing actor as you! You nailed it!" Amy said as she ran into Sheldon and hugged him. He returned the embrace and shyly kissed her forehead.
"Now, we have the apartment for ourselves. What do you suggest we do?" Sheldon said.
"Oh, I am not sure… Maybe, watch a movie, order pizza and cuddle while we make out?" Amy said, laughing at the last proposal as he knew Sheldon would immediately oppose and complain.
"Oh, fine pizza and a movie sounds fine. Oh, and cuddle here in the couch or in bed?" Sheldon said. Amy opened her eyes wide and remained speechless. "Oh, Sheldon, I was just joking, I mean, we don't have to, not that I don't want to, but-"
"It's fine, Amy. Better start trying. I must confess that after doing that tape, a lot of curiosity grew inside me. For me, what we have is extremely intimate, but I have realized there is no reason to rule out the chance of slowly trying new things." Sheldon said.
"Oh, well in that case, let's order pizza. And regarding the cuddle matter, let's just let the night flow and if you're ready, we'll see where things go. Now, choose a movie, sit down and relax while I take care of the rest." Amy said as she smile. Sheldon smiled back.
"Are Leonard and Penny gone?" Amy asked Sheldon as they stopped pretending having loud sex. They found out it was a great idea to get the whole apartment for themselves without being questioned. It had been more than a month since she and Sheldon gave everyone a moralising lesson about respecting other's privacy, and it had been so effective no one had been willing to ask again.
"I guess so, I can't hear them anymore. Your plans always work, Vixen." Sheldon said as he quickly opened the door and went straight to the living room. "Now, come here and let's finish that puzzle! Would you like some tea?" Sheldon said.
"Yes, thanks! In a minute, I will just go refresh up a little." Amy said to Sheldon as she got inside the bathroom and said to herself: "Alright! Pull yourself together Fowler! Take it easy on him! You can't let pretended sex turn you on that way. Don't. Jeopardise. This. Fine, now, wash your face, relax and go out and act normal."
Meanwhile Sheldon started thinking to himself on the other room: "Alright, Cooper. You can do this. It will only be a suggestion. No pressure. What was I thinking before? That these pretended sex scenes wouldn't eventually grow into you? Fine. Relax. It is okay. Take it easy, step by step. You've done hand-holding, hugging, cuddling, kissing, making out, you've even reached second base. You can do this. Nope. I can't! NO. STOP. Focus, man! YOU CAN DO THIS. Yes. Fine, relax, man."
Amy entered the room. She looked so lovely and beautiful. "So, where is the puzzle?" as she noticed Sheldon sitting on his spot with two empty cups. He didn't answer. "Sheldon?" She said.
"Oh, sorry Amy. Listen, there is something I wanted to tell you, come sit next to me, please." Sheldon said. Amy grew a bit tense as she recognized that face. He was going to approach a topic he wasn't so comfortable with. "Oh, Sheldon we don't have to, if-" Amy said. "No, I do.
Listen…" he placed his hand on her shoulder.
"I want to get more intimate. I believe these pretended sex moments are making me feel, well, curiosity and I want to, you know...do...something… but I don't know what to do… I mean…" Sheldon said.
"Oh, alright. If that is what you want to, I am okay with it. I've also been turned on by those moments and yes, we could try things and-" she was shut as Sheldon passionately kissed her as they had pretended all this month. Amy rapidly held onto his back and kissed him back. The sexual tension both of them had been keeping was too much and even without any experience, they both knew what to do. Everything was so natural and smooth. So perfect.
"Oh, shoot! I left my phone in your living room, Leonard!" Penny said.
"Let's go for it fast." Leonard said as he grabbed his keys.
Leonard and Penny crossed the hall, inserted the keys into the door and opened it.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH NUH UH! HELL NO!" Penny screamed.
"WHOAH HEY WO WUH OHH OKAY DOKEY. We'll come back later!" Leonard said.
The connection between Amy and Sheldon was so deep they didn't notice Leonard and Penny coming in, freaking out and running away.
Both of them got back to 4-B.
"There's a mental image I shall never wipe off my mind anymore." Leonard said to Penny, all traumatized.
"See, one thing was an audio tape but a whole damn new different thing is to see the live show!" Penny said. "But one thing is sure. Those two are gonna last forever."