let your heart hold fast

by eeenjolras

Sometimes to move forward, you have to look backwards. Not far enough to revert to the person you use to be, but close enough you find the important lessons hidden along the way and gain enough closure. It takes Craig eleven years to figure out where he needs to be and realize maybe the biggest mistake of his life was actually for the best.

1. rumour has it

A/N: I started writing this in November 2015 after learning that Tweek and Craig had become canon. Since then, my bitterness has decreased and I've begun to appreciate what I've been given. Anyways, this has been a piece I've held onto for a long time - completed in early 2016 - but failed to get around to editing. It holds a special place in my heart despite being written by a younger, and less experienced me. I finally got around to editing it, mostly because I forgot what I wrote and was curious as to how the story went again.

This is roughly based on a fic I wrote a long fucking time ago (if you think this is old). It's buried somewhere on the archives of fanfiction dot net and is basically a 7k trainwreck, which at the time I wanted to be this length. Only one plotline really remains from that fic and even then, the association is very, very weak. Mostly headcanons remain as the connection. The first chapter has never been my favourite and always felt out of place with the rest of the piece, despite having important development to establish the paradigm of Kyle and Clyde's friendship. Regardless, I hope you enjoy reading it and stick around for future chapters, since those are what I enjoyed writing the most.

XXXXXXX

There's this rumour that Clyde Donovan and Craig Tucker are dating.

It isn't a well-known rumour and those who know of it, don't really believe it. Clyde Donovan is the straightest dude on the planet and desperately in love with Bebe Stevens, resident bombshell. Craig Tucker is, well, Craig.

Kyle is one of the rare people who actually thinks they are dating. There are several reasons based from fact and some from the application of 'Kyle Logic.' The first reason, from Kyle's reasoning, is that there are rumours that he and Stan were dating – which they are. People don't believe those rumours because Stan has dated a few girls prior to dating Kyle. For some reason, people are unwilling to grasp the concept of bisexuality.

Due to the climate of South Park High School, it's just as unfavourable to come out as dating any person as it is to come out as dating a person of the same sex. The only big detractor is Cartman, and he is more of a hassle than anything, sharp jeers and crude jokes. It's just easier to not be a public couple than deal with Cartman's harassment – there is no telling how long it would last until he has a new target.

The second reason is because Kyle considers himself perceptive enough to catch Craig not being cold to Clyde. Which, in itself is not really that much. Craig has been an asshole and a troublemaker since they were young. In high school, his behaviour and attitude only seemed to amplify. By senior year, Craig's attitude has reached such a notoriety that the freshmen have dubbed Craig the 'Ice King' because of the way he sweeps through the hallways.

But Craig can be nice, most commonly to his friends – a group that happens to include Clyde. Being nice isn't really that much by Craig's standards, since it's anything other than being a straight up asshole. Craig will do things like give Tweek a ride home when he missed the bus or give Clyde the dessert from his packed lunch. Kyle, like most people, would consider these to be 'normal' friend actions. Kenny and Stan are the finest examples of these being considered platonic things.

But Craig goes above that for Clyde. The most frequent example is he'll wait around after school for Clyde to get out of detention so he can give him a ride home. Kyle has come across Craig loitering outside the library where Clyde is serving out his detention more than once. When asked about it, Craig gives Kyle the dirtiest look he can manage and claims he doesn't want to go home – denying he was waiting for Clyde.

Kyle has been in the library when Clyde leaves and watched through the window as he joins up with Craig. The two of them eventually leaving together. Voiding any statements of denial Craig may have made earlier.

Thirdly, is how Craig lurks around the football field during practice. It isn't at all abnormal for people to come and watch the school's team practice. South Park's high school team is pretty damn good and people like being involved with it. Kyle isn't really interested in football, but he comes to each practice to support Stan (even if Kyle just does his homework instead of watching but his burgeoning theory of the Clyde and Craig relationship always deters his homework anyway).

For the first few practices, he notices Craig hanging around the back of bleachers, tucked away behind the seats. Craig never actually sits down, just stands for a while and watches. Craig has some interest in football, since he attended games and Randy Marsh's Sunday football parties with his father, but not enough to come watch a high school team practice.

Craig always comes late and leaves early and if Kyle isn't paying attention – he'll miss Craig's attendance completely. Kyle is positive that he is the only one that knows Craig comes to watch the practices.

But throughout the football season and over the years, Craig migrates to the bleachers. The big change is from when Craig broke his leg skateboarding. Standing in the back to hide was no longer an option if he wanted to watch while he had the cast. But after the cast is removed, Craig remains sitting in the bleachers – although he is higher up and away from the field. He is just a blue dot if you are standing where the players are. But he is there, which is what matters.

The first time Craig comes and actually sits down, Clyde jogs over to him at the end of practice. Clyde's sweaty and exhausted but his smile is so bright that Craig's presence must have erased any exhaustion. He is overjoyed Craig made the trip out and babbles out a list of concerns over Craig's broken leg. Clyde's delight is infectious, and Kyle can't help but smiling at the scene. He's pretty sure Clyde's happiness has something to do with Craig arriving on time for the rest of the season. Kyle sees the warmth in Craig's eyes as he looks at Clyde, his mouth curling into an almost smile. Craig gives all of his warmth to Clyde.

The fourth and perhaps most damning reason, is because Kyle spied on them at one of Token's parties. It's in the eleventh grade and Token's parents are out of town for work. The football team is going to the championship and everyone is thrilled to have such an amazing team. Someone has procured alcohol and it doesn't take long before most people are drunk.

Kyle, having a greatly overprotective mother and who still grounds him at 16, doesn't drink. He doesn't need his mother grounding him so he can't go to the championship game, two weeks from now. This all hinges on Kyle having perfect grades and behaviour. The grades are already in his pocket, but behaviour is risky since it's often based from the occurrences in South Park.

So Kyle is sober while all of his friends are drunk. Not that he minds, it's still fun hanging out with everyone. It also means that, between him and Stan, he gets to be the responsible one for once. Stan always takes care of Kyle. This time Kyle has the opportunity to be the hero.

Around 2 am, the drunkenness gets to point where a sober person can no longer handle it. Because of how he was raised, Kyle spends his time tidying up the house for Token. The Blacks return tomorrow evening and Token, from the way he's partying, is going to have a massive headache in the morning. By cleaning up, Kyle makes it less likely for the Blacks to get mad about the party, if they find out about it at all.

He decides to begin his tidy-up in the rec room downstairs, where the party started. At 2 am, many people have gone home and those who haven't are hanging out upstairs. The stairs to the basement are littered with garbage from drunk teenagers' migration upwards. Kyle takes his time, scooping up each piece and stuffing them into a garbage bag.

It's only when Kyle reaches the bottom of the stairs does he hear voices. He freezes and contemplates returning back upstairs, letting whoever is here have their privacy. He can clean the dining room and come back later. And since the entrance to the basement is hidden away from the rec room, no one will ever know Kyle has intruded.

Then he recognizes the voices as Craig and Clyde and curiosity gets the better of him. He leans in, straining to hear their muffled voices. Arranging himself quietly, Kyle manages to get a glimpse of the backs for their heads. The two of them are sitting on the couch, a modest distance away from each other.

The two of them are speaking in low, intimate tones. Kyle is unable to hear them without getting closer but this situation only furthers in his mind that the two of them have to be dating. Planning on pushing closer and possibly hearing what they are discussing, Kyle looks around for a better hiding spot. Unfortunately, that's ruined when the door to the basement slams open and Stan start drunkenly calling out for Kyle.

Both Craig and Clyde jump at the loud intrusion. Craig begins to look around suspiciously, but Kyle quickly pulls out of view. He slips back upstairs as quietly as possible, hoping to prevent Stan from coming downstairs and ruining his cover. When he arrives back upstairs, Stan doesn't question where he went – just why he had left. Apparently, Stan reached the point in his drunkenness where he's openly affectionate with Kyle and doesn't want to be separated.

Kyle doesn't mind being permanently attached to Stan for the rest of the party since Craig and Clyde soon rejoin the main group. They return at different times and just slip right back into the group, but that doesn't mean they kept apart from each other. Craig, returning about five minutes after Clyde, slips in beside Clyde without saying a word. Clyde gently knocks his shoulder and offers him a sip of his beverage, which Craig takes him up on.

The two of the share a secret glance – one that Kyle recognizes so clearly since he and Stan still use it. The relief that they weren't caught in a compromising position. It's then Kyle knows the rumour isn't just a rumour.

XXXXXXX

In the last few weeks of the eleventh grade, some months after the party, something happens between Craig and Clyde. Suddenly Clyde no longer sits with Craig in the cafeteria or hangs out with him during breaks. Instead, Clyde hangs out with his football buddies, Stan and Token. The group that oddly also includes Kenny, Kyle, and Butters. Instead of this group being another clique, it's just a group of friends because of the ragtag collection of people that make it up.

Craig completely ignores Clyde. He no longer waits for him after detention, eats his own dessert, and doesn't show up to watch the football practices. Kyle knows that, from deep down in his gut, the two of them have broken up.

"Why aren't you hanging out with Craig anymore?" Stan asks innocently at lunch a few days after Clyde integrated himself into their group.

An easy transition for the others due to Clyde's easygoing nature and the Stan's, as the unofficial leader, kindness and inclusiveness.

"He's an asshole," Clyde mutters.

Token gets a troubled look on his face, which Kyle notes quickly. Token had been friends with Craig when they were children but cited that he couldn't deal with Craig's attitude after a few years. The only attachment Token had with Craig is through his friendship with Clyde. Stan doesn't push the issues, returning to his lunch and making plans with Kenny to meet up after school.

Clyde doesn't speak much for the rest of lunch, poking at his food. Looking at him makes Kyle want to cry. Clyde looks miserably pathetic. His brown eyes are wide and glassy, tears threatening to fall, and his lips wobble together. Clyde cried a lot as a child, less so as a teenager but still at a higher frequency than most teenagers (in public).

After lunch, Kyle has AP Physics with Token. It's like God intended for Kyle to interrogate him.

"Did you finish the readings?" Token asks as they walk to the classroom. "I found that they were kind of dry."

"Why did you look upset when Clyde called Craig an asshole? Craig is an asshole," Kyle blurts, ignoring Token's question. "You've said so yourself, in the past."

"What's going on between them is none of my business," Token says resolutely.

"I'm asking about you," Kyle points out.

"But it's still about them," Token argues.

"Clyde's my friend and I want to know what's bothering him so I can help him," Kyle says.

Token scrutinizes him, looking for anything that might make Kyle disingenuous. Kyle does care about Clyde and does consider him a friend, although he might have more ulterior motives. His extreme desire to be right has always been one of Kyle's faults. Seemingly finding nothing that might indicate Kyle's motives, Token sighs and his shoulders sag forward. He then stops dead in his tracks and looks around, checking to see if anyone is listening.

"Ever since we were kids, Clyde always thought the world of Craig. Even when Craig was the biggest asshole in the world to Clyde, Clyde was still totally willing to forgive him. Not once have I ever heard Clyde admit to Craig's assholery. If Clyde is openly willing to call Craig an asshole, Craig must've done something really bad."

"And you have no idea what that is."

Token shakes his head.

"I haven't been friends with Craig since the eighth grade," Token says as if that answers everything.

Token then walks off to class, leaving Kyle alone in the hallway. Kyle spends of the rest of the day lost in his thoughts, going over what Token said. Whatever happened between Craig and Clyde of them must have been big.

The rest of eleventh grade goes this way. Clyde and Craig no longer hung out and aren't seen together at all. Clyde sticks to Stan and Token like a lost puppy. Kyle finds his presence somewhat annoying at first, since it shifts the dynamic of the group. But the group is more balanced this way, three jocks and three social outcasts.

At first Clyde has difficultly adjusting, seeming upset most days without Craig. Slowly, he starts to get over Craig and open up to his new group of friends. This is directly correlated to Kyle accepting him into the group. With Clyde crying less and decreasing the emotional volatility of the overall group, and actually putting forward that infectious delight he has, Kyle realizes that he and Clyde are actually really good friends.

Craig leaves to visit the home of his birth parents for the summer, ruining all hope Kyle has of Craig and Clyde becoming friends again. When Craig returns, he seems colder than before. This is when he gets the title of Ice King. When he moves through the hallways or enters a room, it is like temperature drops several degrees. Lack of Clyde seems to be the direct result of Craig's new persona.

XXXXXXX

Out of all the people from their fourth grade class, Tweek Tweak probably has the most complicated relationship with Craig.

When they were ten, these girls had started drawing pictures of them as a couple. Kyle has always known that they weren't a couple. At that point in time, he had been in a similar position with Stan. However, Tweek and Craig still pretended to be a couple until the sixth grade. At which point, the fanfare of their relationship had finally worn off. The whole town's sense of unity was no longer relying on their relationship, which gave them the chance to break up and forget about the whole incident.

It's then, that Kyle speculates, that Craig began laying the groundwork for his relationship with Clyde. No longer having his time dominated by pretending to be in a relationship, Craig was free to hang out with Clyde and actually pursue a real relationship. Not a false one forced upon him by a town's desperate need for diversity. Suddenly all of his time was spent with Clyde, instead of Tweek. Craig still remains immensely close with Tweek, often being the only one who was able to calm him down.

It is a favourite rumour that despite their sixth grade break-up, the two of them harbour secret feelings for one another but were unable to get back together due to tragic circumstances. The stories built up around Tweek and Craig run strongly in certain circles. Some people even consider them they tragic romance of South Park. Despite the town moving on, certain individuals are just unable to – a fact Kyle finds way too creepy.

Kyle hates that particular rumour with a burning passion. 'Tragic circumstances' is just stupid and their relationship was fake in the first place. There is no reason for them to get back together. But the rumour lives on and is constantly being tossed into gossip circulation since Tweek and Craig hang out a lot. Whenever Kyle tries to discuss the Craig and Clyde rumour, the Craig and Tweek rumour, which admittedly has stronger collective evidence, is thrown in his face. He has nothing against Tweek or their friendship, but his desire to be right is very strong.

But Kyle isn't heartless and only focused on being right. He also hated it for Clyde's sake. Objectively, Kyle hates all the Craig rumours for Clyde's sake (and things that relate to Craig, in general). Whenever Clyde catches wind of a new rumour, he gets that watery look on his face and excuses himself to go to the bathroom. Stan usually goes after him, being the best equipped to deal with these situations – having been in a similar situation with Wendy and their own 'devastating' break up rumour mill.

Subjectively, the rumour make Kyle angry since it went against everything he's seen. No one knows the truth like he does.

Yet the Tweek and Craig rumour always comes back and bites him in the ass.

"Fellas! Fellas!" Butters calls, running into the cafeteria.

His voice is full of glee and excitement. Kyle braces himself to be let down by Butter's news, since it's generally underwhelming. Butters is just an easily excitable person. The last time he came tearing into the cafeteria it was because the library finally got the book he wanted.

"What is it Butters?" Stan asks, genuinely interested.

Kyle gives Stan a soft look. He's so nice and gentle, always asking Butters what he's excited about despite it probably going to be something lame. It's a trait that generally gets taken advantage of, which ultimately gets them all in trouble, but Stan never changes himself to avoid problems. How Kyle ever managed to deserve Stan when Kyle himself can aptly be described as an asshole is a mystery.

"Craig and Tweek are finally back together!" Butters cheers, tossing his arms in the air.

All that's missing is some confetti, but Butters isn't the type of person so think that far ahead. He probably heard the news and came directly to tell his friends.

"What?" Clyde asks.

At the same time, Kyle demands the same thing.

Everyone looks at Kyle in shock. Stan pinches the bridge of his nose, knowing exactly the reason for Kyle's outrage. Stan listens to all of Kyle's theories on Clyde and Craig. But these theories give Kyle an advantage, since he's also able to know that Clyde's going to be upset by the news. So Kyle easily shrugs them off and looks at Clyde, worried. Clyde looks like he might cry, his eyes are watery and he's trying his best to look positive.

"Are you alright, Clyde?" Kyle questions, putting a hand on Clyde's shoulder.

"Why wouldn't he be?" Butters questions. "This is amazing news! I have to go tell everyone!"

"It's fine," Clyde offers weakly. "I'm just suddenly not feeling well."

Clyde slides out of his seat and almost runs out of the cafeteria. Kyle watches as the doors slam behind Clyde.

"Oh hamburgers," Butters says, unhappy with himself for causing Clyde's mood change.

"What the hell was that?" Kenny asks, looking at Token for answers as Clyde's best friend.

Token shrugs.

"Your guess is as good as mine," he says, returning to his lunch.

Kyle narrows his eyes at Token. He was friends with both Craig and Tweek, he has to know that they weren't really dating. Stan gives him a look, pinching his leg underneath the table.

"This isn't a game, Kyle," Stan warns, voice quiet and serious.

"I know that dude!" Kyle whispers back.

He pushes his lunch away, suddenly no longer feeling hungry. Kyle stands to leave as well, refusing to look at Stan. He thought that Stan of all people would understand. Kyle isn't a bad person for being interested in the Clyde and Craig relationship. And right now, Kyle is actually concerned about Clyde as a friend, not a one of those weird adult 'Creek' people.

"Kyle, dude," Stan says, eyes apologetic.

"I'll talk to you later," Kyle mumbles, leaving the table.

His exit is far less dramatic than Clyde's. The door doesn't slam behind him and he just walks out. When he sees Stan at the end of the day, since Stan is Kyle's ride home, Stan will apologize and Kyle will forgive him. Then Stan will ask Kyle to talk about his Craig and Clyde theory again and get involved in the discussion. It's going to be okay, but right now it just kind of sucks to have no one on his side.

Kyle heads off to find Clyde, knowing that misery loves company and more than anything Clyde will want someone else with him. Clyde is the type of person who thrives off of human contact for comfort. He goes through all of Clyde's normal hideouts in the school: washroom (last stall on the left side), the library (the history section, Clyde is usually reading up on South American history), and finally in his truck (which Roger Donovan lovingly bought Clyde for his 16th birthday).

Walking out into the student parking lot, Kyle remembers that Clyde didn't drive today since his truck is in the shop getting winter tires put on. He caught a ride with Kyle and Stan this morning. Clyde seems to have forgotten this as well, looking lost in the parking lot.

"Clyde!" Kyle calls out.

The other teen turns to face him and Kyle can immediately see that he's been crying. Kyle jogs over to him, feeling a sudden urge to hug Clyde.

"I forgot that you didn't drive today too," Kyle says laughing.

Clyde doesn't see the humour in the situation but lets out a wet laugh. It's self-deprecating and awful and the worst sound, other than Stan crying, that Kyle's ever heard.

"Let's sit down," Kyle offer, trying a different approach.

He puts an arm around Clyde's shoulder and leads him over to the back steps of the school. He feels a bit of tension release from Clyde upon physical contact. Kyle's spent more than a few lunch times sitting on these steps with Stan. Stan is the one who showed Kyle this spot in the tenth grade, using it to get away when everything is too much. Kyle uses it when Cartman gets on his nerves. Now Clyde can use it as his own escape as well.

Clyde collapses on to the steps and crumples into himself once Kyle releases him. Kyle neatly settles himself next to Clyde.

"You must think I'm stupid," Clyde says, voice muffled since his face is buried in his arms.

"I don't think that at all," Kyle tells him, wrapping his arm around Clyde's shoulder again.

Sighing heavily, Clyde leans into Kyle. Weighing significantly less than Clyde, Kyle has to readjust how he's sitting to hold up Clyde's mass. It takes some awkward shuffling and a few apologies from the two of them before they're finally comfortable.

"Do you want to talk about?" Kyle asks.

"Not really," Clyde says. "There's not much to say other than I knew this was coming."

"How so?"

"Well they like dated for 2 years," Clyde says, looking at Kyle with confusion. "Everyone's been talking about how they were bound to get back together."

"But they weren't actually dating," Kyle deadpans.

"You knew?" Clyde questions, mouth open in surprise.

"It was pretty obvious, dude."

"I didn't know until he told me," Clyde confesses and his voice is choked with tears.

"Why are you so upset about it then? If you knew it was coming, wouldn't it be easier?"

There's a voice in the back of Kyle's head telling him to extort Clyde for all the information he has. The desire for Kyle to be right is whispering in his ear. But Kyle pushes is away because Clyde is a friend who really needs him right now. This isn't about Kyle and the rumours, this is about Clyde's feelings.

"Preparing myself and dealing with it are two different things," Clyde says.

"I understand," Kyle says, nodding.

He rubs circles on Clyde's back. Kyle has never really been good at cheering people up other than his little brother, but he's learned a lot from just watching how Stan does it.

"I feel like he lied to me about actually dating Tweek," Clyde says after a few minutes. "Like they were dating when they were younger."

"They definitely weren't, at least not at first," Kyle suggests. "Like they were forced together and then eventually started dating."

Clyde furrows his brow and looks like he's about to start crying again.

"Or maybe they weren't together at all. Maybe just recently Craig realized that he liked Tweek."

"It wasn't recently," Clyde says in a tiny voice.

"Why would you say that?"

Clyde looks around for any other people and then ducks his head, motioning for Kyle to do the same.

"You can't tell anyone," Clyde says with an unusual ferocity to his voice.

Kyle nods vigorously.

"I won't tell anyone."

"Not even Stan," Clyde adds because he knows Kyle well enough that if it isn't implicitly said, Kyle will immediately share every secret he has with Stan.

"Not even Stan, I promise."

Clyde then takes a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever it is he's going to say. Kyle watches him carefully. It kind of excites him that he gets to be the keeper of Clyde's secret. People don't generally trust Kyle, they trust Stan and Kyle gets it. Stan's easy to trust and it's a well-founded assumption. Stan is rational and very rarely does he ever go off the deep end. Kyle, on the other hand, is hot-headed and prone to making poor decisions.

Even though Kyle has an idea of what Clyde is going to say, it's still exciting to hear him say it. After all these years, Kyle's going to finally get a confirmation if he was right or not. But that's not the most important thing right now. Later when Clyde's feeling better, then Kyle will celebrate his theory being right all along.

"Craig and I sorted dated," Clyde confesses in one quick breath.

"Really?" Kyle asks and the surprise is genuine.

It's like hearing the words from Clyde's own mouth makes all the speculations worth nothing.

Clyde nods emphatically.

"From like the eighth grade to last March," Clyde adds.

"And you broke up because of Tweek?" Kyle says, putting it all together.

Clyde nods, eyes beginning to water again. Kyle hugs him more tightly, feeling an ache in his chest for Clyde. It's obvious that Clyde still cares about Craig; Clyde's just that type of person.

"He was nice to me," Clyde says. "I know it didn't seem like it, but he was. But now it seems like it's all been just a lie."

"I'm sorry," Kyle says helplessly.

He kind of wishes Stan was here. Stan always knows what to say.

Clyde begins to cry, his tears falling onto Kyle's bare arm. It's then that Kyle realizes how cold it is outside. It's late November in South Park with winter just around the corner. However, with Clyde pressed closely against him, Kyle barely feels the cold.

"He said that he didn't want to be with anymore – that he it made him feel guilty," Clyde says wetly. "At the time I didn't know it was Tweek, but now it all makes sense. He felt guilty because he was in love with Tweek the whole time we were dating."

Clyde is full on bawling in Kyle's arms now. Kyle just continues to rub circles on Clyde's back, hoping that the tears will subside shortly.

It takes longer than Kyle expects for Clyde's crying to subside. The minutes drag on as Clyde slowly settles down. Finally, when his sobs have become hiccups, he pulls away. Kyle watches as Clyde awkwardly adjusts his letterman jacket and tries to remove the evidence that he was crying. Class will begin soon and it's unlikely people didn't notice Clyde leaving the cafeteria the way he did.

Both of them jerk their heads up when they hear footsteps. Kyle's relieved to see it's Stan. And Stan is holding Kyle's jacket. Now that Clyde has put distance between them, Kyle is shivering again.

Standing up, Kyle quickly takes the steps to reach Stan's side, who immediately holds the jacket out for Kyle. Offering only a quiet 'thank you' when he takes it, Kyle quickly pulls his jacket on and relishes in the immediate warmth it provides. Most of the heat has come from being pressed against Stan's body.

"I'll take you home, Clyde," Stan offers. "I've got free period right now."

Clyde rubs his face, considering the offer. Kyle really hopes he takes it. Clyde kind of looks like shit right now and doesn't need the rest of the school knowing he cried all lunch period after running out of the lunchroom like he did. No amount of attempted clean up is going to save Clyde from that embarrassment.

"I'll buy some Taco Bell," Stan adds.

Clyde sniffles a little but has perked up considerably.

"Can we go to KFC instead?"

Stan chuckles and nods.

"I'll see you at the end of the day," Stan says to Kyle.

Clyde then stands up and allows Stan to herd him towards the car. Kyle pulls his jacket tighter around his body as he watches them leave together. Stan's got his hand gently pressed to the nape of Clyde's neck, talking in what Kyle knows is a low and calming tone.

Once Stan's car has pulled out of the parking lot, Kyle goes back inside. There's only a few minutes left of lunch break and Kyle can't really afford to be late for history. The teacher refuses to let anyone late to class into the room and everyone is so competitive for the valedictorian spot that they refuse to share the notes.

Fortunately Kyle's locker is nearby by the classroom. So he arrives in the history classroom with quite a few minutes to spare. He sits at the front table beside Wendy and Bebe's, greeting them both.

"Is everything alright?" Wendy asks because she's unnervingly observant and genuinely cares about people.

"Clyde was just sick," Kyle lies. "And when Stan didn't hear anything from me, he came to make sure everything was alright. He's taking Clyde home now."

"I hope it's not contagious," Bebe says, sniffing slightly. "I can't really afford to get sick right now."

"I'll get his homework for him," Wendy says. "He's in my literature class during last period."

"I didn't know Clyde was in AP lit," Bebe says with surprise.

"Oh he's so good at writing, Bebe! You should read his poetry!" Wendy gushes.

Kyle's about to jump in with some comment about Clyde's apparent writing prowess when a set of books drop on the table, taking up the space beside him. Kyle turns to see who it is with surprise. No one ever sits beside him, which Kyle appreciates since that gives him the entire table to himself. People changing up seating arrangements this late into the semester are just being inconvenient since it now requires for Kyle to change his entire notebook layout.

His indignation is justified when he sees that it's Craig. Kyle didn't even know Craig was in this class; maybe he skips a lot or sits at the back of the room. Back of the room is Craig's favourite place to be since it keeps him out of the eye of the teacher.

"Broflovski," Craig says as if it's the most normal thing in the world.

Kyle can see the intense dislike Craig has for him coming through, however. Craig's never really been a fan of Stan, Kyle, and the other people they associate it. The Peru incident was kind of the last straw with civility between them. Craig has since mostly ignored them. It's only because of Stan's peace keeping abilities that his friends haven't gotten into some sort of fight with Craig. Kyle is counting down the days until Stan himself finally breaks and socks Craig in the jaw for all the antagonizing that the does.

"Craig," Kyle says, only barely concealing his disdain.

Wendy and Bebe have gone into their own world, gushing about Clyde's poetry. They are completely oblivious to the showdown that's about to take place right next to them.

"Congratulations on your new relationship," Kyle says.

At first, Craig doesn't say anything and just pulls out his notebook. Kyle is actually stunned to see that Craig probably has the most organized notebook he's ever seen. All the information is even colour coded. Apparently Craig takes history seriously. And has freakishly neat printing. It's almost like he typed out his notes.

"Thanks," Craig replies, apathetic as he lets Kyle's attempt to rile him up slide by.

Craig doesn't say anything further, giving no indication as to why he suddenly decided to change seats. Kyle doesn't get a chance to ask as Mrs. Erikson, the stereotypical ancient history teacher, shuts the door. Despite her incredibly strict attendance policies, Kyle enjoys her and her class. In the syllabus, she included a link to a blog, which catalogues every single 'old history teacher joke' that she has ever had. If someone thinks they have an original one, she'll let them drop their worst test mark.

Kyle has read through the blog and it must have thousands of jokes on it. Mrs. Erikson has really been teaching a long time. Most students have given up on ever coming up with a fresh one, but Kyle has just put it to the back of his mind. In his free time, Kyle's been employing both Stan and Kenny to create a fresh joke. It's nearing the end of the semester and Kyle might have to turn to Cartman for help if he wants to enter the 'Blog of Fame.' It's mostly because Kyle wants to beat the other top students at it, since his scores have been near perfect.

He also likes her because Mrs. Erikson really emphasizes the subjectivity of history and manages to scrounge up as many sources as she can to try and paint a full picture.

Mrs. Erikson jumps into her lecture on Dutch history. They were covering Dutch history because Mrs. Erikson had given each person a sheet of paper at the beginning of the semester to write down any specific period of time the student was interested in learning about. Each Friday is the day Mrs. Erikson set aside for these lectures to give a brief snapshot into the topic. Afterwards, she provides a series of sources for further reading. It isn't tested material, but most people in the class are still interested enough to follow up.

Kyle had chosen the history of Jewish people, damn well knowing ever single person will know it is him. It is kind of redundant, since Kyle has known the history of Jewish people since he was a little boy. But most people should understand its history since they're taught the mandatory 'Christian History' in earlier history courses. His topic has yet to be selected and he is actually kind of nervous for the topic to be picked up.

"And that concludes this week's student selection," Mrs. Erikson announces. "Just a reminder that the next text is on Wednesday."

"What's next week's student selection?" Bebe asks.

"The history of the Jewish people," Mrs. Erikson says offhandedly, already tuning out.

All the heads in the class turn to face him and Kyle groans internally. He knew this was going to happen. At least Cartman isn't taking this class. But if he does catch wind of it, Kyle's is going to be put through hell.

"Excellent choice, Kyle," Wendy tells him earnestly because that's what type of person she is.

Curious and progressive. He gives her a tiny smile and then goes about packing up his belongings. Craig hasn't begun to put his things away; instead he's still staring at Kyle. Kyle isn't really in the mood for any sort of bullshit right now. But when is he ever?

"What?" Kyle snaps.

"Can I talk to you?" Craig asks casually like Kyle had been polite to him.

"Um okay," Kyle says, agreeing only because he's caught off guard.

He stops packing up and offers his full attention to Craig. Who, oddly enough, suddenly seems nervous. Craig clears his throat a few times and tugs at the ends of his hair.

"Well?" Kyle says, impatient.

Craig scowls at him. Kyle raises an eyebrow telling Craig that he's not afraid to just walk away.

"Is Clyde okay?" he asks.

The question stuns Kyle. Earlier, he had assumed Craig was a heartless bastard who had never cared about Clyde. Even before that, Kyle had been operating under the assumption of his theory – that Craig is only warm to Clyde. Clyde's confession changed the original assumption and now Craig's question has returned it all back to his first assumption. Craig actually cares about Clyde.

For a brief moment, Kyle considers telling him about what happened at lunch. But he shuts down that thought immediately. Clyde is his friend and doesn't deserve to have his secrets spilled to the person who broke his heart. Kyle isn't about to do that to Clyde.

"Ask him yourself," Kyle spits.

He grabs his belongings and starts to leave the table. Craig just sits there like a wounded animal.

"I can't," Craig says.

It's a quiet and private admission. One that Kyle isn't sure he is supposed to hear.

"He won't answer my calls," Craig then says, a bit louder this time.

"Well that's not my problem," Kyle sneers and he marches off.

Fortunately, that's the only class that Kyle shares with Craig. And if Kyle plays his cards right, he won't ever have to run into Craig in the halls. Kyle's pretty sure that history is the only AP course that Craig is taking. Since all of the courses that Kyle is taking are AP, he can easily avoid Craig and any confrontation.

The rest of the day goes on without incident. Once he's in physics, Kyle gets a text from Stan assuring him that Clyde is okay. Stan got him KFC then drove Clyde out to Stark's pond. They just sat and talked for while before he took Clyde home, leaving Clyde in the care of his father. Stan narrowly made it back to school to arrive in time for his class, but his attendance record isn't the best already so it's not a huge deal.

Kyle's just glad Stan made the choice to return to school instead of going home and doing whatever it is Stan does when is alone. Which isn't often since Kyle is with him like 98% of the time. They've put a rule in place so they don't get sick of each other. It's a period of alone time, which they never bring up for each other. Kyle just studies when he's alone and knows Stan well enough to be sure that Stan just plays Xbox.

When the final bell rings, Kyle finds Stan waiting for him at his locker. He's leaning against it, distractedly scrolling through something on his phone. This is how Kyle liked to picture Stan when they were younger and Kyle thought he was only pining for a straight boy. The school's senior quarterback not wearing his letterman because he loaned it to Kyle, which Kyle 'forgets' to return.

"Hey," Stan greets once Kyle arrives at the locker.

He shoves his phone into his back pocket and looks at Kyle with those blue eyes. This is Stan's 'we should talk' look. It's not Kyle's favourite look and his stomach jumps when sees it. Sometimes Kyle feels like he's waiting for the other shoe to drop, like he's not good enough for Stan. He knows this isn't true, not by a long shot. Every so often the feel creeps back in.

"We should really talk about what happened – at lunch I mean," Stan says, fumbling over his words somewhat.

Kyle sighs.

"I know you're disappointed in me, but I wasn't exploiting Clyde's feelings," Kyle says.

Stan cocks his head and furrows his eyebrows in confusion. Kyle thinks it's a really cute look, but he'd never say that publicly since it'll just embarrass Stan. Even though the resulting look would be cuter.

"I'm not disappointed," Stan says. "Why would be disappointed?"

"Because of my theory and my need to be right? Because I don't care about other people? Because I'm a selfish asshole?" Kyle lists the top three self-deprecating facts about himself.

"Kyle," Stan says softly, his hand dropping to Kyle's shoulder. "You're none of those things. I wanted to apologize because I misunderstood you at lunch. I'm sorry."

"Wait what?"

"You think that you don't care about people and you're a selfish asshole?" Stan asks worriedly.

He ducks his head and gets closer to Kyle, staring at him intently.

"I thought that's what you thought about me," Kyle says, suddenly feeling his entire argument slip away.

Now he just feels very silly.

"You do care about people!" Stan says, jumping into what Kyle has dubbed "Defender Mode." "You practically raised Ike and you're always trying to get people into better situations. Like today you did so well with Clyde – you were there for him and comforted him in his time of need. And don't even get me started on you being selfish, you're like the least selfish person I know."

"But I'm asshole."

"Well you can be," Stan says shrugging. "But that's just one of the many things that I love about you."

Kyle shivers at Stan's tone and proximity.

"You understand me?" Stan asks.

Kyle can only nod, feeling overwhelmed by Stan.

"Let's get out here," Stan suggests.

"Yeah," Kyle manages, throat dry.

XXXXX

Later that day, Stan tells Kyle Clyde had told him that he and Craig dated. It's disappointing, initially, since Kyle had been excited to share a secret solely between him and Clyde. However, things are far better when sharing things with Stan. Who is Kyle trying to kid when he made the promise to not tell Stan? He literally tells Stan everything. Last time Kyle tried to keep a secret from Stan, he broke out into hives because of the stress. Now they were both Clyde's confidants, becoming the protectors of Clyde in those last few months at South Park High.

Kyle talks it over with Stan and decides it would be best to not tell Clyde that Craig had asked about him. It seems unnecessarily cruel to get his hopes up like that. They had made a pact of sorts to keep Clyde as far away from Craig as possible. It isn't that difficult since Craig only makes a real attempt every blue moon. They become more and more spaced apart once he realizes both Stan and Kyle are going to thwart his every attempt.

Kyle and Stan protect Clyde in more aspects than just on the Craig front. Clyde is still sensitive and the butt of many jokes. So Kyle and Stan take it upon themselves to cheer him up or protect him from particularly nasty jokes. Another sore spot for Clyde is the death of his mother, which to counteract, Kyle invites Clyde over so his own mother could smother Clyde with all the excess motherly feelings she has.

So senior year comes and goes with Clyde cementing himself as a permanent friend of Stan and Kyle.

Wendy and Kyle have a bitter race for valedictorian, which nearly ends with them ending their friendship. Stan quickly gets fed up with playing messenger between them and creates a plan to force them together and become friends again. Wendy ends up as valedictorian race since she has a far more impressive resume from her time at school. In the end, Kyle believes that she put together a better speech than he ever could. She is well balanced when it comes to knowing everyone in their graduating class. Kyle just hangs out with same people every day.

At the last party, held at Token's house, everyone is more or less sober. They realize that this is the last time they are all going to be together. Most of the kids are getting out town, even leaving state. Kyle is heading to Princeton, while Stan is heading to Fordham on a football scholarship. It's going to far apart but nothing short of roommates could make up for eighteen years as next door neighbours.

Clyde is heading to Florida, having received a scholarship for his writing talent and to a lesser extent, his athleticism. Kenny is just going to Denver so he could stay close to Karen. Kenny had really pulled himself together in the last two years and had gotten enough scholarships to put himself through college. Kyle is so incredibly proud of Kenny and his goal to become a nurse. Butters is heading to New York as well, hoping to get some formal training for theatre. Token is off to Stanford and hopefully their law program after his undergrad.

They are going to be spread across the country and when they are all going to be together again is unclear. Kyle is confident it would all work out in some way. People from South Park always manage to find themselves back in South Park, no matter how hard they try.

XXXXX

Interlude (between high school to present)

XXXXX

Coming back to South Park is the most difficult decision Clyde has ever made. He knows what the town holds for him. He knows what will happen if he comes back. But after he receives his bachelor's, he is jobless, homeless, and has no money.

It's the only remaining option.

His father still lives there and welcomes his 22-year-old son home with open arms. His old room is still set up exactly how he left it. His father gives him a job at the shoe store – a higher up position. When Clyde isn't working at the store, he focuses on his writing. He put on quite a bit of weight in college and sitting around only made it worse. There was no need to exercise for Clyde since his appearance was not a priority. Being vain had only been a phase when he was younger.

He isn't dating anyone and doesn't have any plans to. He screwed around in college but never really had anything too serious. Mostly the other halves of his romances didn't want anything serious. Clyde fell in and out of love almost daily. There was a time on a bus where he saw a pretty girl and planned out their whole future. By the time he was out of the reverie, she was gone and Clyde never saw her again.

All he really needs is to focus on his writing. But Clyde isn't really sure if he wants to throw away all his freedom and return to South Park. He can get a job easily in Orlando and find a cheap place to live. He wouldn't be able to focus on his writing as much, but he'd be able to be free.

However, Clyde loves writing so much, he gives up his freedom for it. He is the first of his graduating class, of the ones who left anyway, to come back. It makes him feel like a failure. He doesn't have a job or any ability to get one. All he can do is hope his writing is as good as people tell him it is.

Back in South Park, Clyde is friendless and lonely. None of his friends are in town. All of them are continuing their education. Clyde has been invited to some of their graduations. But he doesn't have the money to travel across the country and see them all. Instead he sends them cards of congratulations, apologizing for not being able to make it. Not being able to see his friends makes him cry a little bit now and then. He cries when he realizes that he has to return to South Park. And again when he gets back and realizes it's exactly the same, just lacking the people he actually cares about.

However, coming back to South Park just happens to be the best decision he makes. His time back at home really kickstarts his muse. His first novel is picked up and becomes an international best seller. He is able to move out of his dad's house and get his own apartment. He still works at the shoe store – for an excuse to get out of the house. His new apartment complex has a gym and Clyde reasons if he's going to be a world-renowned author, he wants to look good. There was no way he is looking dowdy or overweight in his headshot. To go along with this, he hires a stylist to redo his entire wardrobe (though he doesn't know how to match outfits).

Okay, so maybe he is still a little bit vain from his childhood. (Or maybe it was just the residual insecurity from constantly being tossed between 'good looking' and 'the second fattest in the grade.')

Realizing all the adventures that he has been on as a child and everything that has happened to South Park, Clyde easily transforms them into a series. His books are primarily marketed as young adult fiction, but the apparent imaginativeness of the books appeal to even adults. Clyde makes a decision to call them a biographical series – which all his readers got a kick out of – to feel better about ripping off South Park's stories.

Once he's established as a writer, Clyde begins to branch out into his more original ideas. These books don't do as well as his autobiographical ones but are still critically acclaimed. In a few years, Clyde has managed to churn a handful of brilliant novels and make a decent living for himself. At this moment in time, he is the most successful member of his graduating class.

His most unpopular book by far is a series of short stories and long poem that allude to Clyde's childhood troubles. From the death of his mom, to the pain of unrequited love and heartbreak, it's by far the most personal and raw piece Clyde's ever written. It's a far cry from Clyde's regular fictional adventure novels. As a result, his editor suggested that he publish it under a pseudonym. No one other than Clyde and his publisher know Clyde wrote the book and no one should care. It barely makes it to second print and never adds to Clyde's royalty cheques.

Clyde doesn't churn out books like Stephen King, but writing is his passion. Picked from drafts written throughout high school and university, the first couple require only editing and consistency. Those are published rather quickly one after the other. Especially when his publisher realizes how much readers love Clyde's stories. The next several novels, including Clyde's originals, take more time to put out due to Clyde starting from scratch. A series of South Park shenanigans, two original stories, and an unpopular anthology. Not too bad, but not enough to provide a stable income

It's at that moment he quits his job at the shoe store and starts working for the local newspaper. It's a far more stable job than being an author and since South Park is so stuck on being the same, journalism is still a profitable media outlet. This way he makes a salary that will ensure he always has enough for rent. Although he technically isn't qualified to be a journalist, the local paper isn't picky on who it hires. They just need writers.

And Clyde considers himself a writer. Sure his pieces are a bit more flowery and not as technical as an actual journalist would write, but they are interesting and solid. Additionally, every Sunday, he has an ongoing story. He releases a 500 word continuation of one of his newest stories. This one will probably never be made into a book, it's too wild for the normal masses but perfect for South Park. When people see him on the streets, they beg him to spoil the next part.

Although he had been initially lonely, Clyde manages to make a few friends with the people who remained behind. Above all is Bebe Stevens, who Clyde had had a massive crush on since she broke up with him in the fourth grade. Even though it had all been a scam, Clyde still pined for her well into high school. It was really only when his heart was broken for the second time that he truly got over her.

Being her friend is great. Bebe is sweet, funny, and surprisingly very smart for someone who remained in South Park. She entered the local police force, but only after some reform. She's one of the top detectives on the force now. Favoured over the veterans for her lack of prejudice and awareness of absurdity.

Through the years, Clyde's friends trickle back into South Park and Clyde stops worrying about loneliness.

First, it's Kenny. After four years of an education and a year working in Denver, Kenny decides it's time to come back to South Park and start taking care of his sister more fully. As a registered nurse he easily picks up a job at Hells Pass Hospital. For a long time it's just Kenny and Clyde, their other friends looking into professional programs and graduate studies.

Two years later, Stan comes back to complete his internship at the local vet with ulterior motives to take over the practice when Dr. Schiffle finally kicks the bucket. The old vet was old when they had been kids. Clyde's scared of the man, thinking it's entirely possibly he sold his soul to the devil to live this long.

Kyle comes back slowly, chasing after his fraying relationship with Stan. He completed a year and half of his residency in one of the country's finest programs, only to find his drive for success pushed a rift between him and Stan. What's ten years away from home? The chief of surgery almost loses it when Kyle decides to end his residency in San Francisco and come to South Park. He has a stellar track record and amazing references. Kyle plans on specializing in cardiothoracic surgery, no less. The return of Kyle dominates the gossip market for weeks. Hells Pass can possibly become a decent hospital with a surgeon like Kyle.

Wendy returns next, inspired by Kyle's willingness to give up his career. But that's not to say she didn't miss her hometown. Clyde mostly thinks that it's because she doesn't want to be one-upped by Kyle. Unsurprisingly, her competition with Kyle took her down a similar path. Wendy Testaburger the pediatric resident coming to South Park has the chief of surgery crying tears of joy.

The last person to return, most surprisingly, is Butters. Twenty-eight years old and only receiving a handful of roles in minor productions in New York. However, it hadn't really worked out. Butters couldn't make himself well-liked enough to get parts. So he returns to South Park and takes up a job as the director at the local theatre. The productions Butters puts on are the best and most glamourous South Park has ever seen.

Token doesn't really ever come back – not permanently anyway. But he visits for extended periods of time and even advertises his practice in South Park. Even though he's never really back in South Park, Token still exists in spirit.

But Clyde's friends are back in South Park and life is pretty damn great.

XXXXX

A/N: Chapter Title: Rumour Has It - Adele

Plot Notes: Kyle ends up turning to Cartman for help with the old people joke. It takes Cartman all of an evening to come up with a new one.

I also want to mention that it's very important to not the first chapter is in Kyle's POV. The remaining chapters are alternating between Craig and Clyde, but this first chapter is written in an outsider POV and you might find events that Kyle is an unreliable narrator.

Also wanted to mention this is completely self-edited, so if you caught any mistakes - please let me know!