Life is full of difficult decisions. It's a long road, but no matter what, things always have a way of working themselves out.
"The thing is, Gale. I don't think I want to fix this marriage." I stare at him from across the table, my hands clasped tightly together. "I just don't think it's going to work."
"Katniss, what are you talking about? Of course it's going to work. I love you." I cringe at his sudden outburst of affection. If only he'd always been this attentive towards me. He reaches across the table, attempting to take my hands into his, but I pull away, placing my hands in my lap.
"Don't pull away from me, Catnip." He sighs and shifts in his seat. "I love you. You know that I love you. Why can't you see that?" I stare at the ground, avoiding his fervent gaze.
"Gale…" I start, trying to talk through the lump that has formed in my throat. "I can't see it, because I don't feel it." His gaze hardens, and I look away, not being able to bring myself to look at him. "I loved you, Gale. I did. But I just can't do this anymore."
"Why can't you do it? Katniss, everything that I have done, I've done it for you."
"I didn't ask for this, Gale. I didn't ask for you to work eighty-hour weeks for me. You're never home anymore. And when you are, it's all about your work, even then, and I don't want to do it anymore." I look up at him, then, and study his face. His eyes are downcast, and his hands are firmly wrapped around his now cold coffee mug. I watch his eyes before they finally meet mine.
"Katniss, I don't understand." His eyes harden before looking into his coffee cup. "I love you." I flinch at that, those words cut like a knife. Those three little words that used to bring me so much joy, now form knots in my stomach. I feel nothing now. Nothing for him.
"Gale, I want a divorce." His eyes snap up to mine, hard, cold.
"A divorce? Are you fucking serious?"
"Yes, Gale. A divorce." I wait for his response. He sits there, motionless, staring at the table. I have a sinking feeling at the pit of my stomach when he returns my gaze.
"I can't believe what I'm hearing. A divorce, Katniss? Is this really what you want?" I let his words process in my head. Is this really what I want? Five years of marriage down the drain?
"Yes." I reply flatly. He runs his hands through his hair and stares at his lap. I can tell he's thinking, because he remains silent for what feels like ages. When he finally looks back up at me, his expression is full of grief.
"Katniss, we can fix this, we can." He says, taking my hands in his. I allow it.
"I'll do whatever you want. I'll work fewer hours, I'll take you out more, hell, I'll even quit my job." I cringe, and I choke back the bile that I can feel rising up in my throat.
"No, Gale. That's not what I want. I don't want you to do those things. And I wouldn't ask you to quit your job." I say, taking my hands back from his and laying them in my lap. I look away, anywhere, to avoid looking at him right now.
"I'm not happy." I finally say, holding back tears that threaten to spill. "I haven't been for a long time."
"But Katniss, I lo-"
"Please, don't." I cannot hear him say that anymore. Because if he really loved me, he would have been offering those things a long time ago. But this is too far gone. I can't change anything now.
"Katniss-"
"Don't you get it?" I almost scream, but I try to keep my voice down to a reasonable level. "I don't want this anymore. I'm not happy, and I don't want this." How many times do I have to say it to get it through his head?
"Katniss, I don't want a divorce. I won't let you do this." He says, his eyes hard, fixated on mine. "We can fix this. I know we can."
"No, Gale. We can't."
It's still early afternoon before I arrive to the offices of Coin&Paylor Law associates. It has been nearly a month and a half since Gale and I's last argument over this divorce, and I saw it going nowhere. So, I'm taking it upon myself to further move along the process. Gale still doesn't agree.
I walk into the building, and am immediately hit with the feeling of overwhelming sadness. As much as I want this, it's still an overly strenuous process, and I can already feel myself becoming lightheaded.
"Hello, how may I help you?" An overly happy red head sits at the reception desk, staring back at me with bright green eyes.
"Yes, um, I'm here to see Mrs. Paylor." I say, trying to ignore the fact that this lady is overly bubbly.
"Did you have an appointment?"
"Yes."
"Okay, she's waiting on you now. You can go ahead and go up to her office." I play with my cuticles nervously as I wait for the elevator to arrive to the correct floor. Once the door 'pings', I step out into the wide, empty hallway.
"Paylor, 331" I skim the doors until I find the correct one, and knock lightly.
"Come in." I open the door slowly before stepping all of the way inside and shutting the door behind me. "Oh, hello, Mrs. Hawthorne."
"Hello." I reply, not really sure what else to say. I walk over to the desk and shake her hand firmly before taking a seat in one of the plush leather chairs in front of her desk.
"I am under the impression that you would like to file up some divorce papers?" She says, keeping steady eye contact with me.
"Yes, I need to file for a 'dissolution of marriage'."
"And does your husband consent to this?" I laugh to myself, thinking of how much easier this would be if Gale would just act like an adult about this.
"Um, no. He won't." I say, directing my gaze at the floor. I twirl my thumbs together absentmindedly, keeping my eyes trained on the strange pattern on the carpet.
"Okay, then. You will need to go to court and issue that your marriage is 'irretrievable broken', assuming that neither of you has done anything wrong to warrant any further accusations." I nod slowly.
"So there's no way to avoid going to court?"
"Not unless your husband may consent to this, I'm afraid." I let her words sink in. Court. I'll have to go to court.
"Do you know how long this will take?"
"Well, depending on the circumstances, such as whether or not your spouse will sign any of the agreements, and whether or not you have any significant assent, ect..." I wait for her to finish, letting this all process.
I can't shake the overwhelming feeling of nausea that washes over me, and swallow hard, trying to avoid throwing up right here in her office.
"Okay, thank you." I say. I just want this to end.
"If that is everything you were looking for, I will have these papers drawn up for you as soon as I can, and I will contact you when they are ready." I thank her quickly before running out of the room. I go straight to the bathroom and heave up my breakfast.
I try to breath, in out, in out. It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay.
I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and rinse my mouth out at the sink before walking out of the bathroom. I keep my head down until I'm out of the building. I rest my head against the steering wheel, trying to calm myself down.
I was going to go visit Prim at work, but instead, I opt to going home. I haven't been sleeping well anyways, might as well get as much rest as I can before I have to go back to my asshole of a boss.
When I pull into the driveway, I notice Gale's car. What the hell is he doing home?
Another wave of nausea hits me as soon as I walk through the door and see him. "Katniss, are you okay?" I ignore him and run straight to the bathroom.
I puke again, expelling everything and anything that I had left in my stomach. I rest my forehead against the cool surface of the toilet, trying to will myself not to puke again.
"Katniss?" I turn around to look at him, but I only get so much as a glance before I'm struck with another wave of nausea. At this point, I'm just dry heaving, having thrown up everything already.
"Are you okay…?" He's being cautious, keeping his distance from me. But he hands me a glass of water, and I chug it down. I throw that up too.
"I think I just need to rest. I'm probably just really stressed." I say, avoiding his direct eye contact. "I went to Coin and Paylor's today."
"What?"
"Gale, I told you I was going to move forward with this." I look at him, then, but he stares back at me with hard eyes.
"Katniss-"
"Gale I really can't discuss this with you right now. I really don't feel good." He reaches into the cabinet and soaks a washcloth with cold water, pressing it against my forehead.
"You don't feel hot. How long have you been feeling like this?" He asks, cradling my head in his hands while keeping the cold cloth pressed to my forehead. I allow it, only because I feel too weak to do it myself.
"I don't know, on and off for a few weeks." He looks at me as if I am going to break. Katniss Everdeen does not get sick.
"You know what? I'm fine. I'm just under a lot of pressure and-"
"Katniss, you're really pale, and look like you haven't slept in days." He says slowly, rubbing his thumb along my cheek. I try to swat his hand away, but he doesn't move. "Maybe you should go see Prim. Maybe she can check you out. I can drive you-"
"Gale, the hospital is for emergencies, this is probably just the flu."
"Well, I trust her more than I trust that Urgent Care down the street. I'll call her and let her know I'm bringing you, okay?" I nod my head, because I'm really not in the mood to argue.
I let him help me up, studying myself against the sink. He wraps his arm around my waist, helping me to the door. As much as I want to protest his gestures, I don't think I could make it to the car without him.
The drive to the hospital is relatively quiet. Gale doesn't try to talk to me, although he does chance a glance at me once in a while. I try to ignore his stares, not wanting him to get any ideas into his head that I may still want to fix this. I'm far past fixing this.
Once we get there, Prim meets me at the car. Her eyes widen and then soften, offering me her hands.
"Katniss are you okay?" She asks. Why is everyone asking me if I'm okay? Has nobody seen someone sick before?
"Um yeah, I think I might have the flu. I haven't been able to keep any of my food down today." I look to the ground and try not to think of my breakfast. I squeeze my eyes shut when she reaches out to me and wraps her arm around my waist to help me to the door.
"I'll be out here if you need me, Catnip."
"Katniss?" I open my eyes when I hear Prims voice echoing through the room. I try to sit up, but I'm connected to something, so fall back against the mattress.
"Why am I connected to an IV?" I ask quietly, my voice sounds raw.
"Well, as soon as I got you to my office, you passed out. I assumed it was because you hadn't eaten since you threw up all of your food this morning." Wait, assumed?
"What do you mean assumed?"
"I don't think I'm the right person to be telling you this." I chance a glance at the window of my room that looks into the hallway. I see Gale standing there talking to one of the doctors. He wears a look of panic.
"Prim, come on. You can tell me anything."
"No, Katniss. It's not my place to tell you this." She looks away from me, and walks towards the door. "I'll tell Dr. Aurelius that you're awake." Confusion washes over me. I watch the exchange between Prim and the doctor, and then look to Gale, whose eyes connect to mine almost instantaneously. I watch as his eyes soften once they meet mine.
Dr. Aurelius walks into the room, closing the door firmly behind him. Gale still stands in the hallway, staring at me through the warped glass.
"Hello, Mrs. Hawthorne. I'm Doctor Aurelius, how are you feeling?" His tone is so calm that it makes my blood run cold.
"I'm a little bit confused." I admit, moving my eyes from Gale's to meet my doctors. "Why won't anyone tell me anything?"
"Oh, Prim was just following orders. It's a rule that patients cannot receive information from a relative that is working here, that information must come from one of their supervisors. And that's me." He gives me a small smile before continuing. "Are you aware of your current condition?"
"My current condition?" I start to panic. I feel as if I can't breathe, like I'm being help underwater.
"Oh, no. It's nothing serious, Mrs. Hawthorne. It's rather good news, really." I let out the breath that I didn't even know I was holding.
"You're pregnant, Mrs. Hawthorne."
Oh man, you guys have no idea how long I have wanted to write a story like this. I'm really truly excited to be writing about this. I've had this story idea stuck in my head for ages now, and I'm so excited to finally be putting it out for you all to read. I really hope you all like it. And, like my other stories, of course it will have Everlark. We just have to get there. Slowly, but surely.
Anyways, I really hope you all enjoy this story! Reviews are greatly appreciated, and definitely let me know what you guys want to see happen in these stories! I listen to your suggestions, believe it or now, so go ahead and leave reviews! Your suggestion just might be in the next chapters!