So remember, when in Snape's memories there was one scene, where he called Lily a you-know-what (to quote James) and then the next scene he apologized. These are his thoughts in between those scenes.
Disclaimer: Snape is Jo's. And she can have him, really.
Warnings: None
Heartbroken
– Snape's dilemma–
How could we ever let it come to this?
How could I let it?
We are friends, are we not?
No. We were.
I was an idiot. A stupid, egocentric idiot. Everything I always accused other people of being.
You were my only friend, the only one who wanted to be around the boy from the darkest corner.
I was your best friend once. Before we were parted. Then you had other friends, who would show themselves with you, who had things in common with you.
That was my first mistake. I never showed myself with you, but you still stood up for me. Always. I never understood how much that must have hurt you.
And now this. Now I understand how weak our friendship has become over the years. How lucky I was that you kept me around this long.
We never had much contact in public, but never, never before have I denied you like that.
I broke your heart.
But it doesn't feel like that. It feels like you broke mine.
I loved you, no, I still do.
I have never been brave enough to tell you. And even now I am not brave enough to go and see you.
You won't forgive me, I know it.
But I have to try. I have to at least tell you. Excuse.
I am not a brave person.
But I will do it.
Not for bravery but for love.
I can't believe I wrote this. I'm pretty much the only person who really hates Snape. I mean, yeah, I pity him somewhat, but the way he behaved towards Lily really asked for her to end this friendship. Who becomes a death-eater, when he's I love with a mudblood?