The funny thing about love is that you don't know you have fallen until you are face down on the pavement completely exposed and unprotected. So why do people allow such vulnerability? Well that's simple: it's worth it.

I have never been one to believe in things I could not base solely on facts. I like my science. I like my methods, facts, and the way I go about proving things that are true. I do not call a red spot blood until I have tested it. I will not assume a cause of death even if it seems obvious to others. I like my tests; science has always been my foundation.

I am not good with feelings and emotions. I never learned how to share my hurt, happiness, or sadness with others let alone myself. It just wasn't allowed growing up. My mother taught me how to be elegant and hide my true thoughts. I got really good at wearing this mask; I was not the queen of the dead but the queen of the masquerade ball. It was easier to hide behind science and my mask then to allow myself to actually feel anything. By letting myself feel, I hurt. My mother was distant, my father was gone all of the time, and I was left alone. I never learned to let anyone in.

It started out as a tiny crack, the day I let her in. She was easy to talk to and fun to be around. She liked me for me. Her eyes were full of compassion. There was so much to her, so many layers. I could peel her back like an onion for years and still not learn everything there is about her. I felt like I could see the universe in her eyes. They spoke louder and in more volumes then her words ever could. We could sit in silence, silence that was so deafening, yet so much communication took place. I thought I was drowning until I met her. I was kicking and kicking trying to get back up to the surface then her hand reached in and pulled me out. She was and is my best friend.

Then one day, my emotions came like a flood. I was choking on all the water: so many emotions. I could not believe this feeling; to be honest I wasn't even sure what it was. It was a mixture of flying but then a sudden nose dive back to earth, a rollercoaster. I had desires, feelings, and wants. I felt warm and fuzzy. I couldn't breathe or think. Me, Dr. Isles, couldn't even think. I had no facts, no google mouth for all that was going on inside of me. Every touch sent me spinning like being on a merry-go-round. Every smile left me doing all I could to see it again. Every moment I found myself cherishing and wanting more.

I was in love, in love with Jane.

This is a beautiful love. A love that is freeing yet binds me to her. She is my gravity that keeps my feet planted on solid ground. With her, I can be me: the dorky, smart, and awkward woman that I am. With her, my mask is taken off and put away forever. I don't have to keep it all inside or hold it all together; I can fall apart, and she will be there every time. I don't have to play a part with a painted grin on my face; the curtain fell leaving me exposed and unprotected.

Is love a risk? Absolutely. But with her it is a risk worth taking. I get to spend every day with my best friend, my love, my Jane. For the first time I get to experience what true love is: a love that cannot be broken or tainted, a love that is pure and genuine, a love that is totally worth it.