The circus runs day shows throughout the week, but with the weekends come the night shows. After dark the circus comes alive with lights and music, drawing small town residents out past their normal waking hours to enchant them with dazzling performances and wondrous things even their dreams could not have conjured for them.
This was the end of Helena G. Wells' first week with the circus and thus her first experience with the late night openings. She found herself alone just inside the main entrance; her husband busy with making sure everything was in working order for the large crowds that always accompanied the late hour.
It's almost midnight but the circle of tents and food carts is brightly lit, the sweet smell of caramel corn mixing with the cigarette smoke from patrons and the lively music playing over the voices of the crowd and the beckoning entertainment from each tent.
"First time seeing everything at night?" The voice comes from a tall woman with dark curls and sparkling green eyes standing behind her; the trapeze artist, Helena remembers, Myka. She runs a hand through her hair and nods with a smile.
"It all seems a bit more magical after dark, doesn't it," Helena says with anticipation, though she is unsure of what she's expecting to happen. The aerialist smiles in response, as if she knows the answer to the other woman's query, but remains silent. The two observe their surroundings for a moment, the crowds of people walking about making them step closer together.
"Have you had a tour yet?" Myka asks suddenly and Helena shakes her head. She had of course been shown around by Nate when she first arrived and has taken in as much of the different tents and performances as she's had time for in the last week, but something is making her want to see what a tour from the pretty performer will entail.
Myka leads them both around to the main entrance, stopping at a vendor booth and taking two cups of steaming caramel apple cider with a smile of thanks to the young girl inside. She hands one to Helena then walks a few paces to another booth, this time going inside. Helena glances at the people milling through the grassy circle just inside the gates that read 'émerveillement sans fin' in swooping iron letters. Some patrons form lines for whichever treat or booth has first caught their attention, others rush straight from the gates towards a path that surely leads them to a favored tent or act.
"Hey," Myka's voice easily captures her attention and she turns to see the woman holding a warm, sugary looking pastry. "It's HG, right?" she questions belatedly.
"Helena, yes," she half corrects, unsure why she gives her full name, back home everyone called her HG to her contentment. Shrugging off the strange response she adds, "You have something of a sweet tooth I see."
"I don't really," Myka insists and hands her the wrapped treat after taking a bite. The icing is thick and sticky on her lips and she licks it away. "But it tastes really good with the cider, try it."
The other woman is momentarily distracted but acquiesces. The warm cinnamon bun melts in her mouth and she makes an appreciative noise while simultaneously trying to wipe her mouth free of the sugar. Myka grins at her predicament before taking her cup of cider, freeing up her hand. Helena smiles her thanks and takes another bite as they walk, Myka leading them through the winding trails between tents.
After a minute or two of walking they come upon a small crowd standing in a half circle and join in, Helena getting a glimpse of a red haired girl in the middle, juggling what looked to be balls of fire. In time the two orbs become split several times so that the girl is handling a dozen small flames at once, much to the crowd's enthusiasm. At the very end she throws all twelve up at once, mirrored balls colliding above her head and dropping into her palm as one flameless unit. The people around them applaud wildly and the girl takes a bow, grinning when she sees Myka amongst the dispersing mass.
"Hey you're HG right, the owner's wife?" she asks before Myka can make introductions.
The woman in question nods almost apprehensively but says graciously, "Marvelous show you just did. Your use of the coated gloves is impressive."
Claudia looks awed by her knowledge of the powder that covers her hands, allowing her to touch the fire without being burned. "Thanks," she returns then turns a gleaming face to Myka, "I think I've nailed the remote to control the lights in your tent."
Seeing the curious look on HG's face Myka supplies, "Claudia is our resident inventor." The girl's grin quickly turns to a scowl when the woman adds, "And part time destroyer of things as well."
Turning dramatically away and prompting a scoff from the aerialist Claudia insists, "Officially I'm just the fire juggler, but what I really do is much cooler. I create things that help with the circus, mostly with setup and stuff." Smugly she adds, "I invented something that can rig up Myka's tent in two minutes."
HG looks more than a little intrigued and gets thoughtful when Myka adds, "Yeah, but she has yet to make something that can break it down in under an hour."
The redhead frowns and defends, "Taking it apart is hard." She gestures with twisting hands, "It doesn't want to fold right."
"Uh huh," Myka teases right back, "I'm pretty sure you just use the excuse of observing so that you don't actually have to get your hands dirty."
"You know what, just for that, no lights for you. Imagine your adoring fans' displeasure when their illustrious aerialist is unable to show off in the dark."
The curly haired woman just laughs, "Whatever you say, Claud." Their conversation is cut short when the girl catches sight of their friend Steve Jinks walking past with one of his leopard cubs and dashes away to meet him, a waved goodbye over her shoulder.
"Sometimes I get tired just watching her," Myka discloses and Helena laughs. "C'mon, I'll show you our unofficial backstage area."
"Are you certain I have the proper credentials for that?" the woman teases.
"This is no ten cent tour," Myka claims in a mock superior tone. "This is a rare, behind the scenes excursion, given only to those deemed worthy of endless wonder."
Helena barks out a laugh. "Unending wonder, hmm?" She appraises the woman in front of her, eyes narrowing in exaggerated contemplation before nodding. "Well I suppose this place lends itself perfectly to such a phrase. Alright then, Bering. Lead on."
Another tent over and they're walking through her and Pete's prep area, her partner sitting on a trunk of her clothing eating the remnants of a candy apple. Upon seeing her he offers up a quick hello, eyes questioning when he sees who she's brought along. Myka reassures him with a smile as she introduces them. "Helena, I believe you've met my partner, Pete Lattimer."
"Hey, hey, hey, Mrs. Boss Lay-day," he sings out, offering up an easy grin and a handshake. She returns the greeting with a smile of her own and then the three of them stand awkwardly for a moment.
"So this is where the magic happens," Helena offers up desperately and gets small laughs in response. Pete takes her elbow and leads her around the small space, waving a hand around theatrically.
"No, no," he assures loudly, "the magic is mostly all out there, but," he gestures out towards the performance tent then back to himself. "If you wanted an up close and personal piece of magic all your own, well-"
"Pete!" Myka cuts in tersely, shoving herself between them and taking HG's arm herself. "I'm sure she-" She's cut off as Helena disengages from her and leans towards the mirror and the photograph tacked to it.
"Is this you?" the woman questions, delightedly taking in the picture of a curly haired little girl doing the splits with a crooked smile.
"No," Myka returns automatically but she's overshadowed.
"Yep, that's ole' Mykes here in her glory days," Pete says, leaning in and inspecting the picture as well. Turning back to her with an appraising eye he asks, "Hey, do you think you could still do that?"
She tries to come back sarcastically, but when dark eyes turn to look at her speculatively she feels her mouth open uselessly and a blush comes to her face instead. Settling for a muttered, "Shut up, Pete," she glares at him, nose scrunching in confusion as he regards her with a tilted head and knowing glance that has her grabbing the wrist of the other woman and pulling her towards the door. "Okay, that's enough memory lane for you," she insists. They're gone with HG's 'Nice to meet you again,' thrown over her shoulder and Myka's indignant snort making him grin widely at their retreating forms.
Upon exiting they nearly run into a bushy haired man who stops his frantic pace for a moment as Myka says grandly, "This is Artie, our ringleader extraordinaire. Has more circus stories in his repertoire than most of us put together." The squat man eyes the newcomer narrowly then continues on, grumbling as he goes. "He's like a father to us," Myka drawls paradoxically and smiles at Helena's responding burst of laughter. They continue through the crowds, stopping periodically at certain tents or sideshows, meeting more of Myka's acquaintances until they have made their way back to the second train where Helena's own living car resides.
"Walking me all the way back to my doorstep, how chivalrous" HG teases, then smoothes her expression. "Actually, I'm certain I would have been lost for days without your guidance so I should really be thanking you."
"It's not such a big circus really, you'll have your bearings in another few days I bet," the woman says reassuringly, then contrastingly adds, "Just in time for us to pull up stakes and head to the next city."
Helena huffs out a wry chuckle at that. "It was a delight seeing the circus from your perspective. Thank you for introducing me to some of your companions, they seem nice and I," she cuts herself off awkwardly, searching for the right words. "I suppose it's been difficult for me to know how to approach all of you, I know my husband can be…abrasive."
Myka shrugs, not wanting to say anything one way or the other but her silence has the adverse affect and HG looks at her knowingly. "He seems to have a good head for business?" she offers lamely.
"He enjoys taking risks," HG allows, "though I believe he was somewhat surprised when I showed interest in this particular venture. He likes new business opportunities, even when they don't pay off. This one however, seems to have worked out well for both of us." Myka smiles at that and Helena finds her mouth curving up to match. "This way he gets all the control he craves and I get away from the monotonous society life that was threatening to dull my senses beyond repair." She finishes her sentence with a dramatic flair of her eyes but Myka can hear the truth in her words. She tries to imagine Helena at afternoon tea circles and lifeless charity functions, but she cannot make the stunning, quick witted woman fit.
Shaking her head at the thought Myka confides, "We were all a little unsure about having a new owner but everyone seems to have taken to you easily enough."
"And what about you?" HG asks with curious eyes. "What have you concluded?"
Her smile is small and playful when she answers indifferently, "The jury's still out. I suppose you'll just have to stick around so I can figure it out." She ends her thought with a teasing wink, feeling childishly proud of the blush she's finally managed to charm out of the poised woman.
Priding herself on being hard to ruffle, HG is practically insulted by the traitorous way her face heats when Myka smirks at her. "Well," she says slowly and invades Myka's space, confidence coming right back at the way Myka swallows hard. "I'm sure I'll be seeing you around and now I know to seek you out when I do." Without stopping to think about it she leans up and presses a quick kiss to the taller woman's cheek. She smirks at Myka's now flustered state and heads for her room, resolutely not turning around to meet the eyes she can feel on her back.
"Don't you think we should stop avoiding the elephant in the room?" Pete asks the table of people eating breakfast with a pointed look to his partner.
She frowns and looks around, "Elsa isn't here, Pete." Her joke is received with a groan from around the table.
Not so easily distracted, Pete narrows his eyes at her and she does the same in response. "I didn't mean the actual elephant Mykes, I was trying to use an expression."
"Idiom," she corrects automatically and he kicks her under the table.
"Stop avoiding the question!" he insists with a pointed finger and when she gives him a baffled look in return he finally reveals, somewhat leeringly, "How was your date last night?"
The table is silent for a moment as her throat works soundlessly and then she sputters, "What? That was not…I did not...we weren't…"
"Aha!" he cries victoriously and looks at Claudia and Steve knowingly, "Seems to me like the lady doth protest too much." The incredulous look he gets from the Shakespeare admirer at his butchered quote makes Claudia snort so he just rolls his eyes. "Whatever. All I'm saying is last night you were all midnight strolley with the hot owner lady and she made you all giggly and hair twirly girly like."
The only thing Myka can manage in response is a choked argumentative noise from the back of her throat, but Steve and Claudia turn their attentions to their breakfast plates when Pete looks to them to corroborate his statement so he drops it. Of course not before twirling the air next to his ears with a doe eyed expression, which prompts Myka to fling her pancake across the table at him. He stuffs half of it into his mouth right away which means he's unable to do anything more than widen his eyes when he sees something behind her.
Myka's looking at him with furrowed eyebrows but she turns immediately at the murmured, "Good morning," from behind her left shoulder. Pete's teasing is still echoing in her head so she quickly looks away from the dark haired beauty when she sees Helena standing there with clasped hands and a bright smile. The others at the table greet her nicely, including Pete who works out his hello through a mouthful of pancake.
Helena turns her attention to the woman before her, "I wanted to come say hello and to thank you again Myka, for last night."
Heat is rising on the back of her neck and Myka hurriedly brushes off the thanks with muttered, rambling words that make HG smile faintly. Awkward silence ensues and when Myka looks at her breakfast companions she observes Pete trying to swallow his current mouthful a little too fast for her comfort. Knowing no good will come from the pantomime he's started she gets to her feet and pulls Helena along with her, not bothering with her plate or goodbyes.
"Did I interrupt something back there?" Helena questions when Myka halts their progress as soon as they are a safe enough distance from the breakfast area.
"Yes and I can never thank you enough," the aerialist returns with a quirked mouth, grateful when HG doesn't ask for an explanation.
"You two seem close," the woman offers carefully, "When you say partners do you also mean you two…" She suppresses a laugh at the horrified expression that springs to Myka's face.
"What? No! Ick, no, no, no," Myka grimaces. "We're only trapeze partners," she insists, then adds thoughtfully, "and sometimes partners in crime." Her hand comes up to rub the back of her neck, "Honestly, he's the brother I never wanted and the best friend I've ever had, but that is all."
"Duly noted," Helena nods solemnly, eyes twinkling. They stand together quietly, enjoying the rare stillness of the circus grounds. "So, I imagine you must have practicing to do or…" she trails off, eyebrow lifting.
"Later yes, but Pete always needs some time after breakfast for his half-hour power shower so I have some time if you wanted to…" It's her turn to leave her sentence unfinished but the message is received with a delighted smile regardless.
"What do you usually occupy your time with when you aren't practicing then?" HG asks curiously.
An easy shrug accompanies Myka's words, "Nothing special. When I'm not spending time with anyone else I usually carve out some quiet time in my car to just nap or read."
Helena's eyes light up, "You enjoy reading, too? What sorts of books?"
"A little of everything I suppose. I do have to be a little choosy about which books to keep since my car has limited space. One whole wall is actually dedicated to my bookshelf." At HG's inhale of delight she hesitates, eyeing her companion for a moment. "Would you like to see it?"
The pair makes their way inside the train that houses the performers' personal quarters, Myka pointing out certain areas of interest along the way. "Woah," she exclaims, pulling HG away from a closed door with a warning. "You don't want to go in there." The stifled moan that makes its way through the wood makes the woman falter, suspicions confirmed when she notes the light blush on Myka's face. "Acrobats," the tall woman explains as they continue on.
"And this one," she pauses dramatically a moment before opening the door, "is mine." Helena walks past her into the room, taking in the warm color scheme before exclaiming softly when she sees the large bookshelf and steps over to it. Myka watches her from the doorway, noting the way Helena's fingers run over certain spines with a reverent partiality and her stomach twists in a not altogether unpleasant way. She smiles tightly when HG looks back to her, the other woman's expression turned questioning, but raised voices carry from the next car over and she doesn't voice her query out loud. Moving fully into the room Myka shuts the door behind her, standing awkwardly in her own space for a moment before eyeing her companion again. Helena is thumbing through a particular volume with familiarity, smiling when her eyes scan the right passage before replacing it on the shelf and facing its owner with a pleased expression.
"Have you read all of these?" she gestures at the books excitedly, smile growing when Myka replies.
"Only about a dozen times or so." The roiling in her stomach turns to a flutter at the woman's delight and she feels herself relax. "You like to read?"
An enthusiastic nod is her answer along with, "And write," before the dark haired woman can censor herself. She looks at Myka almost guiltily, but the intrigue she sees has her backpedalling fast. "It's only dabbling, honestly." She puts insincere humor in her words. "My husband deplores it, but can't really say much against it with all of the train travel we've been doing lately."
"Why?" is all Myka asks, perhaps subliminally questioning the marriage itself and her tone carries displeasure with it. A jerked shrug and something along the lines of not proper and a waste of time make Myka's frown more pronounced but she senses the discomfort coming from the now quiet woman so she redirects the conversation awkwardly. "Well, I think it's great that you can write. Me, I'm an avid reader, but writing is a whole other vein, you know?"
"Getting thoughts down on paper can be quite the challenge," HG agrees, but then falls silent again and Myka chews on her lip nervously. Breaking the silence Helena clasps her hands together. "Well I suppose it's just about time for your rehearsals so I should probably let you get ready."
The aerialist acknowledges the out for what it is, but insists on at least walking HG back to the correct train, halting the woman's protestations with a skeptical, "Do you even know the way back to your car?"
The other woman falters, thinking for a moment before turning back sheepishly. "No, I don't believe I do," she admits, running a hand through her hair. Myka just chuckles and takes her elbow, leading them back through the train and off towards the direction of HG's own.
Silence envelops them as they walk, Helena feeling the lightness of the morning start to fade the closer she gets to her car. Seeing the familiar surroundings come into view she stops suddenly, making Myka stumble back and Helena withdraws her arm apologetically. "I think I can manage from here. As you've said it's not such a big circus after all."
Myka looks at the ground and nods, but doesn't move away. Finally she offers, "If you want to talk…"
"You must think me so silly," Helena interrupts and before Myka can shake her head or voice an objection she continues, "It's not that I don't see things the way they are. I know what it must seem like to you, but…" she trails off, not sure of how to explain things. Myka just waits patiently, grateful to be getting this much from the closed off woman.
Finally HG gathers her thoughts and relates, "Love is a rare creature and in its absence I found it was better to do without, rather than settle for something resembling it. Don't misunderstand me, I did compromise, but on my terms. I'd much rather live with indifference than suffer through a life of lackluster emotion."
The matter of fact way Helena describes her circumstances makes Myka ache for her, but she knows the woman would object to the first things that spring to her mouth. Instead she goes with, "I might have done the same thing, had I been in your shoes. Lucky for me I found a wayward circus to run away with when I was fifteen and I never looked back."
Her words draw a laugh from the troubled woman and Myka lights up at the sound. "I can practically picture you," her hand lifts to toy with a stray piece of Myka's hair, "a little curly haired stowaway, all trouble and crooked smiles."
The woman scoffs, "Hardly. I was cool and calm and impressed them immediately with my dazzling skill." This charms another laugh out of the dark eyed woman and they grin at each other before Helena bites her lip and looks away. Myka is rubbing her neck and staring off towards the colorful tents when she looks back and HG just watches her for a quiet moment.
When the tall woman turns back to her she sighs. "I should probably," gesturing to the train and Myka nods.
"Yeah, me too."
HG reaches out and touches her wrist, fingers lingering warmly. "Thanks for the lovely morning."
Myka smiles and HG lets go and heads to her car. She watches the woman go before sighing and heading back to the tented grounds. She's not paying attention so Nate is nearly upon her before she notices him coming her way. She quickens her pace and makes to move around him but he steps in her way forcing her to stop. "Hello" his greeting is polite but she bristles anyway, "not looking for me, were you?" He gestures to the train, "It's too chilly out to have a proper conversation, why don't you come to my car." Myka's feet plant firmly in the ground, he has attempted to be subtle in his leer of her but she catches it anyway and a wave of unpleasantness rolls over her.
"I've actually just come from talking with your wife," she says stiffly.
His eyes lift in surprise. "Did you now? It was awfully nice of you to entertain her for the afternoon."
"Actually it was very much the other way around. She's a fascinating person, as I'm sure you know." She adds this, trying to give him some semblance of a benefit of doubt, but his weak, uncertain nod erases it instantly.
"Fascinating, huh?" he chuckles conspiratorially. "Back home they just called it stubborn and improper, but perhaps circus life is a better venue for such attitudes." The icy stare he gets in response sets him back a pace, "Well, thank you for keeping her company, I suppose."
"My pleasure," Myka returns again, smiling tightly when he adds that should she need anything he would really be the one to talk to and walking away as soon as she can, brow furrowed and mind whirling.
Myka has just come around the side of the train car that Claudia had declared her inventor's lair when she first joined the circus last year. "Hey Claudia, Steve is looking for…Oh!" She stops short as soon as she sees the other occupant. "Helena," she all but stutters, "Hey…Hi." The dark haired woman looks up and smiles from where she sits on the floor of the car. She and Claudia are hunkered down with dozens of blueprints and schematics surrounding them and Myka can't help but notice how poised the woman looks even with her casual clothing and ink stained fingers.
"What are you two…wait," she holds up a hand when HG opens her mouth to answer. "Do I actually want to know what you two are up to?" She finishes her question with an arched brow that has Claudia making an affronted noise but Helena merely banters back.
"Probably not, darling." Her eyes glint mischievously. "This lair is for serious tinkerers only, certainly not for the weak of heart or dare I say disapproving folk." Claudia snickers without looking up from her notations and Myka rolls her eyes even as she boosts herself inside the dusty car.
"I don't disapprove of everything she comes up with," the aerialist defends, "only the experiments that have the potential for explosions or dismemberment."
"That's because you're no fun," the girl teases with a quick grin that assures she's kidding.
Myka just glares half heartedly in return before focusing on the papers on the floor. "Seriously, what are you two working on?"
HG glances at their plans then looks up resolutely, "I can definitively say it is not a bomb and that the chances of it catching fire are slim."
"Yeah, that's not really helpful or reassuring in any way."
The only response she gets is a raised brow and a matching smirk and she can't help but smile. She moves over to where the two sit and crouches next to Helena for a better view of what looks to be sketches of a rotating platform that could fit inside the main ring in the three ring tent. "Impressive," she allows quietly, her voice sounds just behind HG's right ear and the woman turns into it slightly, her sideways gaze not quite meeting Myka's face.
"Thanks," Claudia beams and both women glance at her simultaneously. "Myka, the potential right here," she gestures between herself and her new favorite inventing partner, "is off the charts, she seriously knows her stuff."
HG smiles in acknowledgment of the compliment but the way Myka is studying her from her close position makes her breathing stutter so she stays silent.
"Is that so?" Myka murmurs and Helena hopes the way she shivers isn't noticeable. She can't tell if Myka is winding her up on purpose or if she herself is the one reacting to insignificant gestures. For her part Myka cannot seem to stop her gaze from returning to the loose strands of hair that have fallen from Helena's half hazard up do. She could so easily reach the few inches and tuck them behind the woman's ear. As soon as the thought registers in her mind she startles and sucks in a harsh breath. It takes another second for Claudia's query to reach her and she visibly shakes herself out of her stupor.
"Right. Yes. Steve is looking for you. Apparently the automatic feeder you set up stopped working and now he wants you to come over and explain to Leo why he didn't get breakfast."
Claudia looks at her oddly then winces, "The lion? Dang, I wonder why it stopped." She leaps to her feet with the prospect of a new puzzle, "Hey HG, wanna come take a look with me?"
The woman pulls herself up from the floor at the same time as Myka so that they are abruptly standing too close in the same space before they both take a hasty step backwards. Widening her eyes for Claudia's benefit she replies, "Go and help feed a lion? I don't know, it seems like one of those risky maneuvers Myka was referring to earlier. We might need a chaperone." Her gaze cuts to the aerialist who merely smiles charmingly.
"It would certainly be an experience unfitting a monotonous tea party, that's for sure. Doesn't hurt that Leo has a fondness for pretty girls that bring him liver cuts."
Claudia raises her eyebrows as she looks back and forth at them. "So are we going then?" she asks leadingly since she's already grabbed whatever tools she may need. When they both respond affirmatively she grabs an arm each and pulls them from the car stating a hungry lion is not a happy lion, no matter how pretty said liver feeder is.
Sawdust mixes with the air and HG breathes it in, the dark clouds outside not giving way to rain just yet. It's just an afternoon practice session so the trapeze artists aren't in their usual performance wear, but Myka looks stunning nevertheless. The simple outfit of form fitting black cotton adheres to her shape as she and Pete fly dizzyingly up above her. Helena can hear them talking, but they are too far up to make out any conversation. The aerialists share their tent with the acrobats and tightrope walkers since it's the tallest and it makes for an impressive show.
She watches Myka in her element, sees the muscles in her arms pull her up until she's sitting on the silver bar, swinging on it like a child on a swingset. She laughs at something Pete says then abruptly lets go, hanging upside down with only her knees holding her there. Her curls tumble towards the ground as the bar gains momentum and at just the right second she straightens her legs, body flipping towards her partner as he catches her outstretched hands easily. With his new vantage point Pete notices her standing below them and says something to Myka before catapulting her up onto the stationary platform behind them. The aerialist looks to where his motioning hand points and she smiles brightly, "Helena!"
The dark haired woman waves and returns the grin, walking closer to the safety net below them. "One second," Myka calls down, returning her focus to her partner who is still swinging. Once he's close enough she leaps, hands grabbing his feet, the two of them making a long line until he bends and lifts her so she can reach the bar above them. He looks up and must say something in typical Pete fashion because she steps on his fingers warningly, eyes not narrowed quite enough to be taken seriously and he just laughs. She yelps when he reaches up and grabs her ankle, throwing her off balance and suddenly she's falling. Helena's heart leaps into her throat, not liking the unexpected plunge, though she knows the woman is in no danger. Myka hits the net and rolls gracefully, glaring up at her laughing partner before meeting Helena's eyes and moving towards her. "Hello," she murmurs happily, pulling herself up so she can sit on the edge of netting.
HG returns the greeting then motions upwards, "You two look fantastic up there."
Myka smiles at the praise but shakes her head, "I don't know." Her voice rises, "I'm seriously considering a solo act."
A bark of laughter from above and shouted, "You couldn't do without me and you know it," has her rolling her eyes but smiling despite herself.
Her attentions return to the woman in front of her, cataloging the way the soft cream colored sweater she wears accentuates the darkness of her hair. "What brings you to our corner of the circus?"
HG shrugs in an attempt to seem casual, the pointed gesture being anything but. "The threatening weather has my husband in a tizzy so I thought I would stay out of the way and come see what my favorite trapeze artist is up to." The smile she gets in return is so adoring she bites back the feeling it invokes and teases instead, "How is Pete then?" Pursed lips and a light kick to the knee are payment for her trouble, though it works to diffuse the rise of emotion she hadn't expected.
Whatever response Myka had is drowned out by the exalted yell from above as Pete launches himself to the net. The seated woman has no time to brace herself and when he hits she is catapulted off, Helena breaking her fall as they tumble to the ground. They lie there in stunned silence, Myka desperately trying not to blush at the feel of the woman beneath her. "Are you ok?" she exclaims, lifting herself up and checking Helena for broken bones only stopping when she hears the woman's rich laughter. Her eyebrows rise in cautious concern when the laughter turns riotous and she hopes HG has not hit her head too hard. She's about to ask the woman how many fingers she is holding up when broken sentences make their way to her ears.
"Darling, your face," Helena wheezes, "what a picture."
Chuckling from behind them finally registers and Myka turns her head accusingly. Pete stops laughing when he sees the glare on her face and attempts to look apologetic. "Sorry Mykes. I couldn't resist."
"You could have hurt us!" she exclaims and turns his attention to the woman still laughing on the ground. "I think you actually broke her."
Finally gaining control of her amusement HG sits up and attempts to reassure them. "I'm perfectly fine." She takes Myka's offered hand up but then turns a disapproving eye towards Pete as she continues, "Though lucky for both of you I make a fine landing pad. What would you have done had she broken something?" The man shrugs and looks so chastised she can't help but smile playfully at him when he looks back to her. "The look on her face when she flew into the air though," and with that the two burst into laughter again.
Rolling her eyes at the pair Myka just shakes her head in defeat, punching her partner twice for good measure before taking Helena's arm and declaring practice over for the day.
The rainy weather makes Myka's candlelit train car the perfect venue for a lazy afternoon of reading, the room's occupants lounging easily atop her bed, devouring their choice reads in comfortable silence. Helena glances up every so often to watch the candle flames turn Myka's curls a pretty shade of gold, only remembering herself when she sees the faint pink blush that settles on the woman's cheeks each time she's caught at it. Myka doesn't say anything though so she allows her gaze to linger, cataloging the curve of her neck, admiring the long legs that have been pulled beneath her lean body.
A loud bang on the door interrupts her study and she jumps slightly, watching as Myka unfolds herself and opens the door, revealing her grinning partner. "Hello ladies," he says slyly and Myka clenches her jaw so that her answering smile is more of a grimace.
"What?" she questions piercingly, her expression promising harm if he's interrupted them needlessly.
"Looks like this weather is only getting worse and you know what that means!" he states, waggling his eyebrows for effect. She just gives him her patented 'back away from the crazy man' stare that he's used to so he simply points a finger at her, wordlessly commanding her to be there or else, then leaves the room chanting the letters S.W.S exuberantly.
The two women share an amused glance before Myka shakes her head and moves to shut the door again. "S.W.S.?" HG questions, not sure she actually wants to know the cause for such excitement.
"Stormy Weather Soirees," Myka explains. "When the weather gets bad like this we can't open the gates, it's not safe to have the public in the tall tents though not many generally show up when it's storming like this anyway." She sits back down, discreetly placing herself further away from her previously too close position to HG because she would very much like to stop looking like a blushing, smiling idiot at some point in this woman's presence.
Risking a glance she notes the intrigued look on Helena's face and continues in what she hopes is a nonchalant manner. "There's usually dancing because there is always too much booze and as soon as Artie has had enough we can usually sweet-talk him into telling us his stories from what Pete calls his 'circus days of yore'. Helena laughs at that which makes Myka smile and she supposes she'll just have to get used to the now frequent gesture while studiously ignoring the cause of it.
"It sounds delightful," Helena states, bumping Myka's shoulder with her own. "Does my worthiness of endless wonder extend to such an event as well?"
A shriek of wind gusts through the open car window and both women shiver. Myka gets up to close it tightly, her countenance suddenly unsure. "You want to come?"
Helena's answering grin is lazy and she drawls, "Well if that's your best invitation I suppose it'll do, yes." Her smile drops when Myka's anxious posture doesn't let up at her teasing. "I mean, if you want,"
"Just you?"
The question interrupts HG and lingers between them, the smaller woman turning it over in her mind before concluding, "You mean not my husband." Myka doesn't look up from the floor and Helena simply stares at her before going to the door. She moves to step through it then stops herself, stating slowly, "I'll see what I can do."
Finally tearing her eyes upwards Myka verbally scrambles, "Helena wait, I didn't mean," but the woman is already too far down the car and either doesn't hear or doesn't care to respond so the aerialist sinks to the floor, hitting her head against the wall with a huff.
Pete's loud off color joke has everyone around him screaming with laughter but Myka only manages a small smile, her concentration falling distractedly about the party, gaze falling most often towards the entrance of the tent. She's grabbing another drink, scolding herself for her pathetic need to keep checking the ring for someone she knows isn't there when the tent flap shifts to reveal a very small looking Helena and Myka is moving before she knows it.
What she can see of the clingy red dress HG wears underneath the large black coat makes Myka swallow hard as she approaches the nervous looking woman. "You came," she says softly and crosses her arms, mirroring HG's posture.
The writer looks at the fluttering ribbons of Myka's shimmery dress and nods before gesturing to herself. "I wasn't sure what exactly one wore to a S.W.S party." The black coat falls open as she speaks and Myka quickly glances away from the low cut of red silk that's revealed.
Laughing derisively more at herself than anything the aerialist moves so the other woman can see the party behind them. "It seems there is an unofficial red and black dress code tonight so you will fit in perfectly." She watches Helena take in the gathering, trying to ease the uninvited tension she feels between them. "Not sure how that happened," she mutters quietly referring to the many red and black costumed people and her own white gown, "maybe I should go change."
"You will do no such thing," is Helena's firm reply and Myka catches a glimpse of appreciative eyes flitting over her figure before darting away. Warmth floods through her and she looks to the ground with a small smile. Unease still ripples between them though and that has Myka mustering up her courage. Wanting more than anything to ease the strain, she spits out "I'm sorry," but Helena is shaking her head and doesn't let her finish.
"Don't think anything of it," she implores, arching an eyebrow when the taller woman attempts to do so anyway. Myka falls silent, but furrows her brow in quiet consternation at the plea. "Nate went into the nearest town anyway," she continues, gaze finding the ground, "doing business of some sort. He saw the bad weather coming in and sent the driver back." She keeps her eyes trained downwards as she can feel Myka's hot stare burning into her, the other woman imagining just what sort of business would drive him into a small town alone and keep him there all night. HG merely shrugs it off, wanting more than anything to not feel pity coming from the woman in front of her. "I'm sure he'll be back sometime tomorrow."
Myka takes in the form before her, sees the way Helena practically shrinks into the overcoat that seems far too large now and she holds back every ounce of anger and unwarranted jealously that her body seems to want to run with. Instead she internally vows that this conversation is not going to be forgotten, however now is not the time for such things when they have the whole night ahead of them. "Well let's hope he's not back too early," she says as lightly as she can manage and when Helena lifts her head up questioningly she continues with exaggeration. "Because this party is just getting started and it's going to be a very long night. We circus folk don't stop 'til we drop."
Loud music threatens to overwhelm every conversation but no one thinks to lower it as the boisterous environment has everyone in good spirits. Another drink was Myka's first line of defense and HG has already downed two before declaring the room too warm for her jacket. Steve graciously adds her coat to the pile of garments outside the ring, grateful for the distance when a laugh escapes him at the wide eyed expression on Myka's face, her hand coming up to rub the back of her neck. Pete wolf whistles which makes HG blush and Myka's hand flies up to smack him automatically. He just laughs and whispers something in her ear that makes her face heat and has HG looking curiously at them before a remark from a passing clown has Myka pulling HG hard to her side, a forceful glare burning into the short man's back.
The woman at her side says something and Pete snorts at the way Myka's attentions are so easily reclaimed by her. Steve rejoins them with drinks and Claudia bounds over, looking HG over and fanning herself comically before sharing an amused glance with Steve at the way HG is still leaning into the taller woman.
Several hours later the party is still going strong, easily muting the noise of the storm outside. Myka hurries back into the tent after her companion, not wanting her to be alone with so many drunken eyes on her. She'd followed Helena to the bathroom, both laughing as the wind whipped at their gowns on the way back. They're both breathing heavily as they reenter the large tent, the late hour and alcohol catching up to them.
Myka nudges HG and points discreetly across the tent to where Artie has just picked up another drink while Pete and Claudia cheer. The party quiets as the attendees notice the dimming of the lights by Claudia and Myka notes the way HG leans interestedly towards the device that makes that happen. "I'm sure she'd love to show you later," she whispers quietly and Helena smiles in response before her breath catches in her throat as Myka takes her hand and leads her up the bleachers, both of them following suit of everyone else and settling in for Artie's tale. Claudia turns only the spotlight in the main ring on, leaving everyone but the storyteller in darkness.
He waits for the muted voices and movement to stop before starting dramatically, "Have you all heard of the time Tinga the Tiger escaped from the circus?" Excited voices echo through the tent, most everyone knowing the tale but ready for the retelling anyway. Helena turns to Myka with a raised eyebrow at the normally cantankerous man's exuberance and they share a laugh. Artie continues speaking but then HG shifts beside her and suddenly Myka is painfully aware of how close they are sitting and sound falls away at the scent of the woman's perfume with each shallow breath she takes. Her eyes bore a hole in the minute space between where their hands sit on the wooden bench and her heart is beating so fast she absently thinks it will probably hurt when she faints and falls down the bleachers.
She's startled out of her overwhelmed state by the gasp of the crowd at a particular turn of the story and she tries to regain some semblance of control by carefully ignoring the figure next to her. This stops working as soon as she hears Helena's throaty chuckle at Artie's reenactment of their attempts to wrangle the tiger back and then her eyes are trailing from the woman's lipstick tinted mouth down to her collarbone, finally tracing to the edge of red silk she'd been pointedly flicking her eyes away from all night. After indulging for a moment she tears her gaze away only to find dark eyes trained intently on her so she turns and blushes so hard her face heats up like she's inches from a fire. She is most definitely not looking at Helena anymore so she jolts in surprise when the woman's hand covers hers, fingertips playing against her own.
When she risks a glance, Helena's attention has seemingly turned back to the ring so Myka does the same and tries to relax, mentally shaking her head at her own inability to do so. And she knows this is the part of the story where Jinks comes into play with his calm and experienced manner and coaxes the tiger back to its enclosure, but she can't hear Artie speaking over the buzzing in her head as Helena's fingers trace lines in her palm. She gasps softly when dull nails tickle the inside of her wrist and she jerks her hand away only to have Helena hold tight and tangle their fingers together again. Myka knows she could drown in this sensation and never be sorry for it so she embraces it, tightening her grip and smiling to herself.
Helena isn't sure how long they've been sitting there, but abruptly the audience is clapping and Steve is making his way to the spotlight for a hearty bow. "Let's go," she pleads breathlessly and Myka knows this is a bad idea, that it's late and they've been drinking and…and Helena is married for heaven's sake, but dark eyes are begging her and Helena's adding, "Quick before the lights come back on." So she's pulling them through the darkness and outside before she realizes she's already given all of herself to this, whatever this will be.
They are shivering in the wind and rain and the first time Myka tries to voice her question it comes out in a rasp too low to hear so she clears her throat and looks over Helena's head when she tries again. "Where do you want to go?"
It's not the cold of the storm that makes her shiver when Helena steps into her, scarlet dress turning dark with rain. Helena has to stand on tiptoe to reach Myka's ear, fingertips burning into the taller woman's shoulder as she implores, "Somewhere no one will come looking for us." She's made the decision in an instant, her certainty pulling them both through a maze of tents until Helena is lost and clutches Myka's hand, raindrops turning their grip wet.
A small tent sits beside the cars that house the animals that don't even look up from their sleep as they pass by. Myka pulls Helena inside then ties the laces on the flap so tightly even the howling wind won't be able to yank it open. This is the place where extra straw and supplies for the animals are kept and Myka knows they've already been taken care of for the night. The tall woman leans against the tent for a moment before turning around and losing her breath at the sight of the woman in front of her. Dress plastered to her body, red lips parted as she breathes heavily, raindrops falling from the ends of her hair to hit skin and Myka follows their descent until they meet fabric.
Thunder claps loudly making them both jump, the thin tent walls doing nothing to muffle the noise. "We'd probably be able to get out of here before the fire from a stray lightning bolt gets to us, yes?" Helena asks, only half in jest. As if in accordance a white flash illuminates the tent and she watches it play on Myka's skin, eyes drawn to a stray curl that has escaped the pretty hairstyle she had tried to tame it into. Thunder cracks again and Helena spooks, the noise startling her as it echoes across the sky.
"Hey," Myka rasps out, stepping closer to the jumpy woman. "Maybe we should go back,"
Her sentence remains unfinished as Helena closes the distance between them and swiftly presses their lips together. She's grateful for the remnants of her reasoning as her arms automatically come up to hold the woman clinging to her. When Helena wraps her hands behind her neck she moans as the kiss deepens and she can taste red wine and lipstick on her tongue.
Something in Myka breaks when a small needy sound leaves Helena's throat and she is certain now that she will never be able to have enough of the beautiful creature in her arms. The thought expresses itself in her grip that turns bruising on Helena's hips and when the small hands wrapped around her neck dig their nails into her skin they both whimper at the contact. There's a thousand different things Myka wants to convey in this moment, all of them pressing into her with their need to be expressed and she wants to cry because she knows there's not enough time to do any of them justice.
The thought that this may only be for tonight, that she can only have this woman in her arms for a matter of hours makes her kisses turn desperate and her fumbling fingers start frantically trying to unlace trappings of silk. The knots have become wet and thusly impossible to undo however and soon she's trembling in her need to get the dress off of Helena.
It takes a few moments for the tugging of Myka's fingers on the back of her gown to register in Helena's kissed foggy state, but once the motions become hard yanks she pulls back, taking the shaking form in front of her in with wide concern. "Myka," she croons softly, hoping to ease the distress she can read all over her face.
The woman is breathing rapidly, trying to pull a sleeve down with little success. "I can't get it," she huffs out shakily. Her head starts shaking as she hears Helena assure her that it is alright and her fingers suddenly stop trying to find purchase in the dress fabric as she wraps her arms around herself tightly. "It's not alright," she cries out, wet green eyes looking up beseechingly. And there are so many things she wants to say, injustices she wants to rail against, but "there isn't enough time," is what she settles for lamely and looks away from the gentle understanding in Helena's expression.
Helena's eyes slam shut at the weight of emotion she feels coming from the beautiful woman across from her and she hates that she's not strong enough for it. The self loathing rises even as she steps closer to Myka, this woman she's ruining every moment they're together, because she knows she's also not strong enough to leave, that she needs Myka more than anything and that this will probably hurt them both.
Stepping into the taller woman she can feel light tremors still running through her, the chill of rain soaked clothing catching up to them. When she hears a shaky inhale of breath everything else disappears except her need to comfort the other woman. "I know," she soothes, running her hands up Myka's arms and encircling her neck with them. "I know there isn't enough time, but this right here is worth a thousand unhappy days," she assures, "at least for me. If this is all we can have then I'll take it over nothing at all."
Dark eyes are begging her again and Myka resolves to push everything else aside as soon as they fall on her. She doesn't want this to be about anything other than the two of them anyway so when Helena suggests they both give the laces a go she merely nods, catching the hands that fall away from her neck in her own and tugging so that bodies and mouths collide again.
With both their efforts they manage to get the strings loosened enough so that Myka can pull the dress up and over HG's head, the two laughing when it becomes stuck momentarily. Once she's free of the garment and it's thrown carelessly to the ground Helena's mouth goes dry with the way Myka is looking at her. She shivers and the next second Myka's pulling her close and kissing her fiercely. Gasping when Myka's fingers find her bare skin Helena wants to feel too and when her wandering hands hit white satin she tugs at it. "Off," she manages to rasp out in what she wanted to be a demanding tone, but it comes out more pleading than anything. Myka's lips don't stop their exploration of her chest long enough to comply and Helena growls, crumpling the material in her hands and leaving it wrinkled.
She gasps in surprise when Myka pushes her down on top of clean straw and soft blankets and her mind goes blank at the feel of cool satin pressing into her as Myka settles on top of her. Soon enough she's writhing helplessly, eyes shut tightly and hands clenching, one at the straw near her head, the other in her own dark hair. Her breath comes in harsh pants as Myka's hands explore her body, lingering in all the places that make her gasp and bite her lip. She's vaguely aware of the fact that her underwear is being removed but it's not until cool air hits her center that she opens her eyes, staring blearily down at Myka between her thighs. The woman pauses and smiles, expression impossibly tender as they both breathe heavily.
The still dressed woman holds out as long as she can, unable to do anything more than stare up at the disheveled woman for a long moment. Soon enough though Helena's eyes are leaving hers as they slam shut when Myka's mouth moves in to taste her and a muffled shout escapes the woman. The taste and smell of Helena threaten to overwhelm Myka but she works to set up a steady rhythm that has HG shuddering sooner than she'd like. Pulling back despite Helena's intense protestations she moves back up the lovely woman's body and combs through dark locks gently, trying to calm her racing heart. Her mouth presses small kisses on Helena's face, her mouth, eyelids, nose, forehead, before the woman surges up and captures her lips roughly, drawing a moan out of both of them.
"Myka, please," Helena begs and the husky note in her voice has the strong woman powerless to refuse. The fingers of her right hand tickle down Helena's side, over her hipbone, down until they hit their wet purchase and the overcome woman arches up into the touch with a loud cry. Myka's fingers set a steady pace that reduces the woman beneath her to whimpers and unintelligible words. These become noisy exclamations when Myka's mouth starts to tease her breasts, circling and tugging on one nipple then the other. Her administrations have Helena completely at her mercy and soon she's pushing the beautiful woman over the edge, kissed red mouth tipped back in a soundless cry. As soon as the aftershocks stop Myka ceases her movement, returning immediately to press more kisses on Helena's face.
Helena is breathing harshly, still trembling as Myka presses light kisses under her ear and down her jaw. As soon as awareness comes back to her she places a hand under the woman's chin and when their eyes meet she smiles, lifting up to press a long sweet kiss to her lips.
After a moment the kiss turns heavy as HG coaxes the tip of Myka's tongue into her mouth and sucks on it, prompting a moan from the tall woman. She pulls them both up until they're sitting, then uses her body's leverage to turn them and playfully shove Myka down into the straw, the woman beneath her laughing in surprise. Her amusement ends with a yelp as strong hands shove her dress up around her hips. Myka's breathing turns heavy and faltering when Helena wastes no time in exploring her soaked center and it seems like it's been torturously too long yet no time at all when she comes hard against the other woman's talented tongue.
She barely has the energy to laugh and press a fond kiss to Helena's temple when the woman moves back up to her and collapses with a satisfied huff. Reaching above their heads Myka pulls a blanket over them, wrapping an arm around the other woman who curls into her side. She presses another kiss atop HG's head and noses into lavender scented hair before closing her eyes, succumbing to sleep immediately. Helena follows soon after, the heady feeling of being completely sated and Myka's steady breathing lulling her to sleep.
Bright sunlight filters through the white tent walls, patches of warmth hitting Myka's skin wherever the dress she still has on allows. She shifts sleepily and yawns, turning over to find…nothing. Her face falls in disappointment, but she's not surprised. Trying hard not to cry she pulls herself together and gets up, listening cautiously for any signs of life outside the small tent. It's still very early so thankfully no one is up and about yet and she slips out, not bothering to hold her dress up out of the wet grass as she heads for her room at a quick pace.
It's not until she's safely inside and she sees the book Helena had been reading yesterday afternoon still lying on her bed that she allows the tears to fall, tossing the book to the floor and curling into herself brokenly.
Lately Pete and Myka have been training harder than usual, the strong woman despising her loss of control and making up for it with extra long workouts before dragging Pete to their arena for daily practices. He knows better than to ask her where she disappeared to the other night, but she can tell he's brimming with curiosity, making their sessions strained and uneasy. Every time one of them falls Myka curses loudly until Pete begs for a break. When Myka grudgingly relents he practically runs out and she sighs, climbing up to the top platform again. Instead of attempting another trick she drops and wraps her arms around her knees, her head landing on top of them heavily.
Several hours later it's showtime, the earliest show starting mid afternoon and in Myka's dressing room she shows no sign of her earlier distress. She banters with Pete as they stretch, greets Claudia fondly when she stops in to say hi, and smiles when her partner asks if she's ready. Right before they go on she checks her makeup, the dark tones contrasting with her silvery costume wonderfully. She looks at her reflection almost warningly before narrowing her eyes and nodding sharply to herself, following Pete into the brightly lit arena with a showy grin.
The performers have no way of knowing it, but Helena is watching their every move intently. Nate had insisted she accompany him to watch the afternoon's festivities, suggesting it would distract her out of her gloomy mood and she'd finally agreed. As soon as Artie had announced the aerialists' act she'd sat straight up, eyes latching onto Myka's glittering form and drinking her in greedily. The brunette was stunning under the spotlight, costume sparkling, her dark features and curls giving her a smoky quality. She smiles brightly under the crowd's attention, both performers climbing up high and running through their routine flawlessly.
It's a different world, high up above the crowd and Myka revels in it, losing herself in the familiar flying. Once their show ends to raucous applause she takes Pete's hand as they bow and wave, tumbling out of the net and disappearing back to their dressing room. Myka drops heavily into her chair and stares up at the ceiling with a sigh. After a moment she turns to him, "What?"
Pete just shakes his head, still looking at her intently. "You can talk to me, but I know you know that so this is just a reminder that I'm here, okay?" Her glare softens and she nods briefly before returning her attention to the ceiling.
The second Myka disappears from the arena Helena aches to follow, but she waits for the intermission before begging out with a headache and slipping away. Finding her way to Myka's staging room she stands just inside the door, uncharacteristically unsure of herself. She sees Myka staring blankly upwards and it is Pete who notices her first, glancing between the two silent women before slipping out without a word. "Myka," she opens her mouth to say, but nothing comes out and she fiddles with the cuffs of her shirt nervously.
"Hello darling," finally makes its way out of her mouth, if only a little hoarsely and the woman in the chair jumps up and yelps in shock. Whirling around Myka just stares at her, can only look at her like whatever happens in the next moment has the ability to make or break her and Helena hopes she's reading her expression wrong because that kind of power frightens her more than anything.
Myka opens her mouth to speak then closes it promptly as Helena takes a step towards her. The dark haired woman stops at the wary expression directed at her and takes a deep breath. She doesn't know what to say, how to explain herself, but Myka is looking at her like she just wishes she would say anything so she finally does.
"I shouldn't have left like that," is what she leads with and Myka's wince rushes her next words. "When I awoke my mind started racing and I knew I had to be back before Nate was, but you," she falters at the memory and threads a hand through her hair, "Myka you looked so beautiful and you were sleeping so peacefully and I didn't want to wake you with an awkward conversation." She steps closer and Myka's eyes flare at her proximity. "It's not a good excuse but it is the truth. And I'm very sorry," she adds softly, finally reaching out to trace a finger down the back of the other woman's hand.
Myka inhales sharply at the touch, memories of that night flooding through her mind and she closes her eyes against them. Pulling her hand away and wrapping it around her middle she clears her throat. "It's okay," she finally manages, opening her eyes to meet hopeful brown ones. "I get it, that night was"
"Perfect," Helena cuts in and Myka's eyes flicker to the floor, heady in her relief that the woman hadn't said 'a mistake'. When she finds dark eyes again she gets lost in them as she's found so easy to do and it's only the excited voices of other performers, just finishing or getting ready to start their routines that breaks their stare.
Her smile turns shy but her grip is firm on Helena's wrist as she tugs the woman with her. She leads them to an empty train car, normally used for transporting the presently in use tents and equipment. After hauling herself inside she pulls Helena up after her, both women glancing around to make sure the coast is clear.
The car is dark with the door partially shut but Myka can still make out HG's smile. "I saw your performance back there," the woman reveals, stepping comfortably into Myka's space. "You are stunning. Wowed the whole crowd," she compliments proudly then bites her lip, fairly sure she will never tire of making the pretty woman blush.
HG is standing breathtakingly close and the words she's been mulling over for days finally spill out of her mouth. "I wasn't sure if you would want to see me again. Like this I mean," she says, referring to their close position. "I didn't know if one night was all you wanted." Her words are anxious, still unsure of what the woman next to her is thinking.
Shaped eyebrows lift over wide eyes. "Want to see you?" Helena's tone is disbelieving. "Myka," she murmurs, lips finally brushing the aerialist's. "In a perfect world I'd have nothing else but you," she declares, mouth slanting over Myka's and stealing her breath away with her kiss. Myka's head spins with the words and when they break apart she's beaming, the idea that Helena might want her just as much as Myka needs her in return making her dizzy. Her eyes take in the other woman's flushed state and she moves to ensure its permanence.
"Myka," HG practically whimpers, the lips on her neck wiping any other thought away as they travel down to her collarbone.
The way Helena lengthens the last letter of her name into a sigh makes Myka shiver and she bites down on the woman's pulse point in a deft response.
HG's head jerks back, air leaving her lungs with a small cry. She feels Myka's lips smile against her skin and her lips curve up in return before the feel of fingers on the buttons of her shirt make their surroundings snap back into focus. "Myka, we can't," she protests, hating herself the minute her words cause the cessation of wandering hands. She feels, more than hears, the stomp of Myka's foot before she's suddenly pressed up against the side of the train car, green eyes boring into her own, pleading more than the aerialist's words can vocalize, though she tries.
"We can," she declares harshly, pressing her form totally against the slighter woman and trapping her there. Helena's eyes snap shut at the sensation and her hands find the sequined material of Myka's costume almost without her notice. Once she does however she runs them steadily upwards and her voice leaves her in a small moan when they hit the bare skin below Myka's shoulder blades.
Then Myka kisses her hard and she can only clutch there for purchase as her legs threaten to give out, the wall behind her taking up the slack. The dizzying affect of the aerialist's kisses is not new, but the desperation behind it makes tears spring up behind closed eyelids. And she does not want to cry so she matches the woman, lips bruising in their intensity.
Her lungs are burning when she tears her mouth away with a sharp inhale and Myka drops her head down, pressing a light kiss to her throat as they breathe loudly, still closely entwined. They are silent for a long moment, the only noise outside of their panting coming from the distant circus tents.
"He will destroy you," Helena agonizes quietly into soft curls and a wry huff hits her shoulder.
"What do you think is happening to me now?" Myka returns, lifting her head to catch Helena's gaze. Lightly calloused fingers trace the edges of her sad smile and she kisses Helena's thumb when it comes to rest in the middle of her lips.
The writer's thumb strokes over her mouth one more time then caresses her cheekbone before sliding up into her hair, soothing tangles back. "I mean it, Myka. He will take away all of this; the circus, your home, your job. In one fell swoop he can have it all and he won't hesitate to do so."
Fear is easily read in Helena's dark gaze and Myka hates seeing it there, hates everything about the man who puts it there. "Your husband does not scare me," she utters defiantly and her muscles tense with the sentiment.
When Helena feels the rigidity to Myka's posture she pushes her backwards a step. She wants to impress upon the strong woman that trying to take on her husband is hopeless. She wants to relate that this love affair is madness and won't end well for either of them. Instead, upon taking in the other woman's frown she works to undo it and rolls her eyes exaggeratedly. "Perhaps you should have been a lion tamer. Your detrimental combination of bravery and stubbornness would have been a perfect fit."
Her light words seem to work as she watches the storm in Myka's eyes disappear, furrowed eyebrows smoothing out into a somewhat teasing expression. "Those pussycats," the tall woman dismisses with a crooked grin. "I'd have them eating out of my hand in no time."
And Helena can only chuckle along with her, stepping easily back into the other woman's embrace and holding her tightly. "Perhaps we'll keep you away from Mr. Jinks' cats for awhile," she agrees before sobering slightly, the smell of Myka's perfume dulling her senses. "Darling, the thought of anything happening to you tears me apart." Her body shudders and she shakes her head fiercely to rid her mind of the gruesome path it takes her down. "I can't…"
The rest of her words are stolen away as Myka holds her tight, the performer's heart aching with corresponding emotion. "You let me worry about me," she instructs softly as her fingers stroke through glossy dark hair. Her only answer is the quiet breathing by her neck so she sighs, mind furiously working towards a solution, a way out that won't force them to be on the run and in danger. Every scenario has them hitting a brick wall, just as it has every time she's tried thinking it through before. She bites back the usual frustration that follows, focusing solely on the woman in her arms, knowing this moment will be over much too soon.