A/N; So for this fic I am going to pretend that everything after the Luke/Andy break up did not happen. I am talking about Sam going UC, the scavenger hunt and Sam and Andy getting together while he was UC. So in a way this story is wee bit AU and possibly a little OOC too… I think I might have put in some role-reversal too…

I had trouble writing this, hence the delay in posting it. I sort of left my comfort zone for it and then my muse went on strike *huffs* Oh yeah, and I used some time pressure, which maybe wasn't such a good idea either…

Enjoy! And… HAPPY '12 peeps!

Italics are thoughts.

(Because I was in a rush to publish this, I did not have it beta-ed. All mistakes are mine, sorry for that!)

Disclaimer; I do not own Rookie Blue in any way, shape or form.

"Right, that's it! You are not having anymore alcohol."

"Aaaaw, come on! Don't be a party-pooper," at least that's what I think she was saying as her words where slurred from the many drinks she'd had. She lost her balance, nearly toppling of the bar.

That's it I thought as I took the half full glass from her hands, pulling her down from the bar where she'd been performing some kind of striptease act. Not completely, as she still had her clothes on. But there were more men drooling over her, than I cared to admit. It was the 15th division New Years party and I felt like I was the only sober soul in the Black Penny. Except perhaps for Epstein, as we had just spent ten hours in a squad car together.

"Put me down," she squealed as I slung her over my shoulder to carry her away from the bar. Protecting her from embarrassing herself even more. After all most of our colleagues and our boss where at the party too and well, she was pretty drunk. The kind of drunk where you would not remember a thing the next day. Or even a couple of hours later.

"Swarek! Put me down NOW!" she kept yelling as she was slamming her fists on my back, using her legs in an attempt to kick me. I considered carrying her outside, as she was obviously a danger for others.

"McNally, calm down. Just let me take you to a chair. Ouch…!" she had managed to kick me in the thigh. Hard! I'm pretty sure a bruise was forming straight away. "McNally, you can struggle as much as you want. You are not going back to that bar. And if you don't stop now, I will take you outside where you will cool down."

"I don't care, just let me go," she yelled once again. Most of our colleagues where now watching this little show and in a way I was feeling a little embarrassed. Not that I showed it, but still…

"McNally, you do realise it's freezing outside right?" I reminded her of the current weather conditions.

"No, it's cold," she scowled, finally deciding to give up the fight as I felt her go limp.

Realising I had two options I quickly walked over to a free chair just as Nash jumped in to help me. Nash wasn't much of a help as she was giggling like a schoolgirl, but at least she was determined to get some sense in to McNally too. As I set her down, I ran my hands through my hair and pinched the bridge of my nose. Yes, I was very agitated.

Why do I always end up saving my Rookie from trouble? Subconsciously I knew. Heck, everybody new, I was just not ready to admit it to myself. I cared more for her than I should. All I wanted was to know if she felt the same way. If I had to believe our colleagues, she did. But I needed to hear it from her, I needed to ask her. Like her, I too was afraid to get hurt. Tonight, again, was not the night. She'd been drinking way too much, probably to forget Callaghan's infidelity. Still, after all these months. In a way it pissed me off.

I walked of to the bar, asking for a glass of water hoping it would sober McNally up just enough for me to take her home. Because that's where she obviously needed to be. At her house, in her bed. Taking the glass back to where I thought I had left both women I was in for a surprise. They where gone. I quickly scanned the crowd looking for Nash and McNally. When I was about to give up, I noticed Jerry pointing me towards the ladies' room so I followed his lead.

I was about to go in to the ladies' room when all of a sudden I heard McNally's voice rise above the noise. I decided to wait and just listen for a bit. Not that I was eavesdropping or anything.

"Traci, I'm fine. I don't need your help. I don't need anybody's help. I just want to forget. Just. Let. Me. Go."

Geez, did she sound pissed off. I reckon that if she was even going all out against her best friend, I was in for a rough one.

"Forget what Andy? Isn't it time for you to get over Luke's cheating? You never even really loved him. He was just 'the safe choice' remember."

"I don't need to forget Luke. I've forgotten about that long ago. I just want to forget that I will always be alone, for the rest of my life. I'll end up a lone drunk, just like my dad."

"What? Why? Andy, stop it! This is the alcohol talking. You've got friends who love you."

"Yah, that's the problem Trace… We're just friends."

"What? Huh? Okay… I really am confused now Andy. Who are you talking about?"

"You know who Trace."

"Huh? Oooo… Okaaaay… You mean, you and…"

That's when I decided to step into the ladies' room. I'd heard enough. Apparently my Rookie had yet again found another scumbag who did not appreciate her the way she deserved to be. I felt a pang of jealousy and hurt. Not again…

"McNally? Nash? You in there?" I asked, in a way stating the obvious.

"GET! OUT!" McNally managed to yell just before she started throwing up. The sound of her hurling in the toilet made me cringe.

"Nash you in there with her?"

"Yes sir, I am. Can you hand me a wet paper towel?" she asked as she opened the door slightly ajar. I handed her a wet paper towel and the glass of water.

"Here, she might want to rinse her mouth when she is done."

"Thanks Sir."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, debating myself what to do. Resisting the urge to just burst in, carry her to my truck and take her home was the first step. After all I was not ready for her to throw up all over my truck just yet.

"McNally, when you are done in there I. Am. Taking. You. Home."

"Go away Swarek. I don't want you to. I don't need you help. I'm.."

"Fine,' I answered the sentence for her. "No McNally, you are not fine. It's 10 PM on New Years Eve and I bet you that if I'd ask you, you would not even be able to tell me your rear end is still alive"

I was answered with another wave of hurling, followed by a "My rear end is fine Swarek."

After about fifteen minutes things seemed to calm down. I just stood there doing what I could, spending most of the time blocking the door to the ladies' room. Our colleagues did not need to see what was going on in here. McNally had been through enough embarrassments for the night.

"I think she is done." I heard Nash say from the booth. I handed Nash some more paper towels to help her clean up McNally. I heard some whispering, but I could not understand what they were saying. After a couple of minutes they came out. Nash first, looking at me with pleading eyes.

"Will you take her home please? I don't think she should stay here."

"What do you think I was planning on doing Nash?"

"Okay… Just… Be nice to her, okay?"

"Yeah…" I managed to get out just before McNally, my Rookie, exited from the stall.

"Geez McNally, you look like shit," I let slip before I realised.

"That's it Trace, I'm not going to let him take me home…" she sounded more than pissed and she had every right to.

"Andy, you promised! I'm going to grab your jacket, wait here," Nash answered as she left.

She returned within minutes with McNally's jacket, gloves, hat and scarf. I watched as Nash helped her getting everything on. Was it my imagination? Or did I see tears forming in her eyes? I watched as she hugged Nash, wishing her a Happy New Year. She carefully stepped towards me, looking scared or something.

I laid my hand on her back as I guided her through the backdoor of the Penny. No need to go through the crowd again. When we got to the truck I helped her in and fastened her seatbelt. The drive to her place was very uncharacteristic; McNally did not say a word. She spent most of it staring out the window, which I had opened just a little to let in some fresh air. I resorted to driving slow and steady, not wanting to get her sick again.

As I drove up the driveway I noticed her getting a bit restless, she started fumbling with her hands. She turned around, cleared her throat and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Thanks, I'll manage from here," she said in a near whisper.

"No, I am walking you up and then I am making sure you actually grab a couple of Advil, a large class of water and get into bed."

I waited outside the truck for McNally to get out, ready to lead her to her front door. I took the bunch of keys from my pocket. She had given me a key just after moving in, for emergencies. This for me was an emergency. It just didn't feel right to feel through her pockets for her own key. Not after what I had overheard in the ladies' room.

"Sam?" a little voice came from behind me. "I'm sorry."

The ride seemed to have sobered her up a little, at least she was walking straight and she wasn't slurring her words any more. I suppressed the urge to hug her and opened the door, gently pushing her in.

"It's okay McNally. Now you go get yourself ready for bed and I'll grab you a glass of water and Advil."

I watched her walking to her bedroom. She looked a bit lost in her own home. That's when my heart broke for Andy McNally. This woman's already been through so much, when would she finally get a break? When will she finally see that there could be a great life waiting for her out there? I wanted the old Rookie back, the one I got to know that day after she busted me.

This whole evening was making a 180, from where I had wanted it to go. In my mind we would have partied, had fun and then at twelve… Oh well, that was not going to happen now. McNally would be curled up in her bed and I would be at home accompanied by a bottle of Jack and the TV. I grabbed a glass form one of the cupboards, filling it up with water. It did not take me long to find a bottle of Advil. Taking the whole bottle with me, I went the find McNally.

Her bedroom was easy to find as she had left the door open and the lights where still on. Expecting her to be in bed I walked in without knocking. Big mistake! There she was, sitting against the headboard of her bed, curled up like a ball. Crying. Wearing nothing but her underwear.

I was all for us being friends, heck I'd take anything I could to keep an eye on her, but this was just to much for me. Not very common with being friends with a woman I had an internal discussion going on, thinking what I should do and knowing what I wanted to do. "Follow your gut" was my own best advice I'd give anybody, so I went over to the bed to comfort her.

She looked up at me with a tearstained face, her body shocking from crying. Her eyes where questioning with a hint of fear and something I could not identify. After two years of being partners I could read her without any trouble, but this new thing? It bugged me. I pulled the comforter over her, for self-preservation, and sat down next to her.

Andy moving in to me took me by surprise. I responded by putting my arm around her, pulling her in even closer. Then I surprised myself by kissing the top of her head. She seemed to relax under my touches.

"McNally, care to share what's going on? Nothing is worth getting that drunk over."

Wrong words! I felt her whole body tensing up and then she started to cry. Again. Different approach than. Geez, this friends thing is hard. I couldn't just stick to my TO role. I really had to get in touch with my softer side, like Sarah's always telling me. Right… So… Here goes nothing. The lack of liquid courage caused me to take in a couple of deeps breaths before I continued.

"Hey, Andy. I'm sorry. All I meant to say is that you have no reason. At. All. To feel like crap. To drink so much that you lose all inhibitions and embarrass yourself like you did tonight. Please tell me what happened."

"Why?" she asked warily in between soft sobs. Thank you God! She had crawled back to me.

"Because I care. Because I am there when it matters. Because I am your friend."

"That's the thing, just friends," at least that's what I think I heard her murmur under her breath.

"What did you just say?"

"Nothing Sam… Ugh, I can't believe Traci got you to go with me."

"I was going to take you home anyway, so don't worry."

"I need to wear clothes for this talk," she huffed, throwing the comforter off her. My eyes followed her as she got out of bed. It was just impossible to turn away from her. In a way I felt like pervert, but she was doing nothing to hide her state of undress from me as she grabbed pyjamas from her dresser.

"What talk?" I asked, as she got dressed into her pyjama.

"The one Traci is making me have with you."

Her answer confused me. Why would Nash want her to talk to me? I thought they were best friends.

"Huh…?"

"You want a drink? Because I am going to need one."

I quickly jumped up and followed her to the kitchen.

"McNally?" using my TO voice "You are not having anymore alcohol. You are just sobering up."

"I was thinking coffee Sam."

"Oh," I managed to speak as I slumped down on a chair. "Yeah, I'll have a coffee."

So here I was, New Years Eve, at my Rookie's house waiting for a cup of coffee and a talk her best friend wanted her to have with me. Now I know they say women are from Venus and men from Mars, but I really was confused. Or not? Did I, again, subconsciously know what this was about?

I noticed the telltale signs of being nervous as she handed me my coffee. She leaned against the table, facing me, nervously playing with the hem of her pyjama top. She took in a deep breath as she started to speak. Well, that was after she cursed Nash. Under her breath, but I did hear it. It wasn't pretty.

"Sam, us being friends. Is it working for you?" again she caught me off guard. How honest should I be? I could not go back to where we were and I could not handle the rejection again. So I decided to play it safe.

"Uhm, well… Yeah… I think it is."

"You THINK it is? Sam, you can't just be my best friend and then THINK it is working for you."

Whoops, McNally on a rant. I got her worked up that's for sure. I love it when she gets pissed off though. She gets this determined look on her face.

"Is it working for you Andy?"

I noticed a slight blush creeping up her cheeks, as her breathing seemed to quicken. She put down her mug and started to fidget with her hands. Her teeth were grazing over her lower lip. God, she's sexy when she's nervous.

After what seemed like a long silence, especially for Andy McNally, she finally spoke.

"No."

"Oooookay…."

"Sam, I don't want us to be just friends. That's the whole problem. I fall in love, but neglect my feelings, my heart and follow my brains; pick the wrong guy, the one I think I can love, to protect myself from getting hurt because the one I really love will abandon me like everybody who I love does, actually get hurt and then the guy I really want to be with wants to be just friends, and I take whatever I can take, because I don't want to lose him, it's the best way to protect myself from ever getting hurt again too, in a way, but most of all the last weeks have been hell, because I have come to realise that I can't be. Just. Friends." She just threw it out there, all that without taking a single breath.

Huh? What? Gob smacked. That about sums it up.

"So I am asking you again… Is this thing, being friends, working for you?"

Wow, talking about being put on the spot. I was not used to this. Andy McNally was basically giving me her heart on a platter and I just had no clue how to react.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Sam, I think it's better that you leave. We should talk about this when we get back on rotation, perhaps ask for different partners."

Speak up Swarek, speak up! You can't lose her again. My mouth went dry and I was pretty sure that if I spoke now my voice would sound a couple of octaves higher than usual. So I took in a couple of breaths, gathering myself before I spoke. No matter what they say about men, we do get nervous about things like this too.

"Andy, no."

"No what Sam?"

"No, this… being friends, isn't working for me and no I don't want another partner."

"What do you want Sam?"

Now that was a question I knew the answer to, I just had no idea how to vocalise it. So I just stood there as I watched her eyes tearing up, her face turning all sorts of red and her body slumping more and morning as she took in a protective stance. I could basically see her heart fall apart.

"I told Traci this was a bad idea," and then she was gone. To her bedroom, expecting me to show myself out. That was not going to happen. I needed to fix this, take my chance. NOW. I could not let the woman of my dreams slip away again. Been there, done that and did not enjoy it.

When I got to her bedroom I noticed her standing by the window. Just staring. For the second time this evening I saw her body hiccupping from crying. This woman… was all I could think. I needed her to want me. Heck, I wanted her to want me and in the past hour it had started to look like she actually does too.

And that's when I realised I just had to do it. All or nothing, but no more going back or standing still. At least then I'd know where we are. What we are. And if I maybe should say yes to Boyd, who has been trying to lure me back undercover for the past couple of months.

"I want you," I say, not giving her the time to respond I twirl her around and press my lips on hers. Letting her know on which level I want her. To my relieve my Rookie, Andy McNally, responds by opening her mouth to mine, just at the fireworks start going off all over the place.

She pulls back, her face wearing the goofy grin I fell for a long time ago. The one I haven't seen for ages.

"Happy New Year Sam," she says as she pushes me towards the bed.

"Happy New Year Andy," I manage to say before I get to distracted by her hands travelling over my body.

A/N; So obviously I am NOT a man, which made writing this fic really, really hard… But then I realised, every man has a feminine side… Soooo… Don't shoot me for the way I portrayed these characters and let me know what you think.